• Member Since 31st Oct, 2013
  • offline last seen Oct 2nd, 2020

Eyvind


I write pony fanfiction, mostly sappy romance stuff.

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Source

Scootaloo is disappointed one day to learn that Applebloom and Sweetie Belle can't play with her. Bored out of her mind, she wanders the streets of Ponyville... until she meets a strange colt, tending his garden.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 9 )

Sounds nice!

Hmmm, I love the concept for this one, and I like the way you've pieced it together. I like you taking advantage of Scoots need to brag, and connecting her with a cute OC. It was a pleasant read.

It's got some grammatical errors though, and a few places that could be polished up. For instance, you use a lot of said-isms, repetitive wording, and there are a few awkward dialogue spots. You also have a "tell not show" problem that should be addressed. A quick edit could get this reading much better. If you'd like, I might be willing to do an edit in exchange for a review on one of my short stories.

It's as good as bacon wrapped doughnuts upon pancakes with more bacon and glaze sauce!:heart::derpytongue2::derpytongue2:

I like Willow as a character but his name implies something ominous if the history of it has any indication.

4774655 that sounds like an interesting proposition :trollestia: Do you have a specific story that you want me to read?

4776397 My favorite short I wrote would be The Mess We're In. If you want to do another though, I won't complain :pinkiehappy: They're all slice of life, some with romance, some without.

4776404 Cool, sounds like my kinda read :raritywink:

4776409 Cool. I'll get going with the edit.

i just wanted you to know dear author,i...... I've been hurt before and whilst im near positive i shall be hurt again,by this,please.....be gentle.
faved.

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