• Published 23rd Apr 2014
  • 1,645 Views, 43 Comments

Button Mash's Awful Video Game Experience - TheExhaustedBrony



Button plays on some of the worst consoles ever created.

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Fillies CD-I (Part 1)

Button's father chuckled a bit at his sons' expense. As cruel as it was, nopony would deny that watching their children have a difficult time was a little bit funny.

“Shut up dad!” Button scowled, massaging his eyes. At this point, Button's faith in his fathers' childhood was already close to zero. However, this was his only way to get out of cleaning. Video games are video games is what it all boiled down to and he'd rather be doing that than cleaning the attic.

“Why don't I find something else for you to do?”

“NO!” Button leaped for the box, “I'll pick something out myself.”

The stallion reared back a bit, surprised by his son's sudden bravery, “A-Are you sure? Don't you trust your old man?”

Button shot his dad a glare that was as if Nightmare Moon learned Fluttershy's stare. However, not a second later was Button rummaging through the box again for something to play with.

“What's this?” Button reached his little hooves into the box and retrieved the most unusual piece of technology he'd ever seen. It was just a giant black box.

“That's the Fillies CD-I.” The stallion walked over to the box, “Let me help you with that my boy.”

Together, the two pulled out the giant device and placed it on the floor. Button scanned every inch of the peculiar object, trying to make sense of it's massive design.

“Why's this thing so... so...”

“Massive? Well, Fillies did make much smaller, compact models, but with a smaller size meant more fragile parts. The only one that I was able to own that worked properly is this standard model. Oh, and did you know that playing games on a CD was actually a new thing at the time?”

“Really?” Button was slightly impressed. He couldn't deny his fascination with the idea that something so common today was considered ambitious at one point in time. Today, pretty much all video game consoles use CD's. They're capable of storing more data than cartridges and were able to be stored in much smaller spaces. It made sense to the colt why one is more favorable.

“Yea.” The stallion gave an affirmative nod, “Although, I didn't really play this thing too much. By the time I owned one, I was in college and didn't play video games as passionately as I used to.”

“What kind of games do you have for it?”

“Well, the only games that I own right now are a few Legend of Celestia games and a Pony Bros. game.”

“What?!” Button's eyes shot wide open, “There exist Celestia and Pony Bros games that I haven't played yet?!”

“JoyBoy gave Fillies permission to use some of their franchises. However, I wouldn't get your hopes up too much for these ones,” Button's father put on a worried look, “they aren't that great.”

“How can there exist a bad Celestia and Pony Bros game? And on a console that isn't JoyBoy?” Button asked skeptically.

“Well, if you insist on playing, which in my opinion, you shouldn't, then I'll set up the console for you.”

“Yea.”

“Alright then. I warned you. Could you get a controller from the box?”

Button nodded and reached back into the heap for a controller. It didn't take long for him to find a gray controller with “CD-I” printed on the front. It looked a lot like a Genesis controller with a D-pad and three buttons but not nearly as flashy.

“Is this it, dad?” Button held up the controller.

“That's it. Bring that over here and plug it in.”

Button did just that and plugged the controller into the port on the front of the system. Button's father pushed the power button and the system sprang to life, the hum from the disc tray made it seem like it was an ancient beast awakening from its slumber, something Button could relate to from his many years of gaming.

However, instead of a game being loaded, Button was greeted with a blue rectangle that had the word, “Fillies” written in it. Button never understood why game systems did this. Were companies afraid that ponies would forget what they were playing on? Before Button could ponder this thought any further, the screen turned to black and the word, “Celestia,” came careening from the foreground in big red letters and into the center, the subtitle below read, “The Wand of Gamelon.” The main menu screen was a scroll that had various options on it like any typical menu screen would have.

“I suggest that you do the tutorial. Trust me, the controls are like nothing you've ever experienced.”

“O ye of little faith,” Button shook his head and shrugged, “I think I can handle it.”

The stallion let out a worried sigh, “Don't say I didn't warn you.”

Button selected start game and the screen immediately cut to a very crudely animated cutscene of a king and princess Celestia.

“Celestia, Chancellor Puddinghead is under attack by the evil forces of Discord, I'm going to Dirtville to aid her.”

“But father, what if something happens to you?”

“I'll take the element of magic to protect me. If you don't hear from me in a month, send Dusk.”

Button was didn't like watching his video games, so he pressed the button again, skipping the cutscene. Now the game was at what appeared to be an overworld map. He moved the cursor around and held it over an area called, “Aru Ainu.” Button pressed the button, yet another time and was finally able to play the game.

“Oh, so it's a side scroller? Why isn't it an overhead like the others in the series?”

“I haven't the slightest idea, Button. Look out! Warthogs!”

Button looked at the corner of the screen and saw small brown warthogs moving towards the princess. Instinctively, he pressed down on the D-pad to get level with the enemy and the first button to attack. The hit connected with the enemy and it exploded.

“This isn't so bad.” Button smirked.

“Just wait.”

Button continued playing the game. It couldn't be as bad as his father claims. Button has played many side scrolling action games. How could they mess up something like this? Unfortunately, his question was just about to be answered.

“Button! Honey! Can you two come up here for a minute? I could use your help with something.”

“Okay mom!” Button didn't really mind taking a little break. All he had to do was pause the game. He scanned the controller and saw that there was no start or select buttons like a typical controller.

“Uh, dad? How do I pause the game?”

Author's Note:

I'd like to apologize if the Zelda jokes are really stupid. I just couldn't think of anything really clever. If anyone has anything better, please tell me.

Comments ( 10 )

You don't need to use two spaces after completing a sentence.

Button's father chuckled a bit at his sons' expense.

You used a plural possessive, you probably meant to use a singular possessive (son's)

At this point, Button's faith in his fathers' childhood was already close to zero.

"father's"

Button was didn't like

Maybe remove "was", or change it to "really".

Look out! Warthogs!

I had to listen to this. :rainbowlaugh:

4343799 I didn't ask for proof reading, but thank you very much! It means a lot to know that people are looking out for me and it helps a lot with making my writing better.


Just to get this out of the way. I was taught the 'two spaces' thing and it's more like an old habit now that I do without thinking.

Thanks again.

4343890
No problem, the two spaces thing is weird to me, that's all. Keep up the overall good work.

Will the game.com make an appearance?

Let's really torture the poor kid. Make a pony version of ET!

You should have called it the fillips cd-i the name here basicly says "children cd-i" but still cool fic man.
-HWB

I can't wait to bomb do-gets shot

Comment posted by IanRises deleted Jun 26th, 2023

The Power Hoof's original design was actually not that bad, but they wanted it made on the cheap, so they cut several corners.

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