draygan
Joined 4th Mar, 2014 ·
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I'll... um... put this in my read-later pile...
well uh that description kinda makes me want to read it more
Good stuff, can you do a continuation?
Oh god, I wasn't expecting gore of this magnitude
4427893
Neither was I when I proof-read this.
...
Pretty good overall, but there were a few problems with the way it was put together. The ending felt weak compared to the middle. Silver Spoon seemed to turn on DT too quickly and then seemed to just leave her to die without even thinking about it (or didn't get the bit about DT being in danger). DT also seemed to not realize the danger and really didn't respond accordingly for a while. Also, hours of teasing is a bit hard to believe, especially with Gilda just sitting and watching.
As for phrasing, the caviar-flavored cum bit was an example of both telling the audience explicitly something and then having a character comment on it. Doing that makes for a really repetitive feel while also making it seem like the characters aren't characters, instead being vehicles of the author's mind (as they are, really), which massively breaks immersion. As a general rule, if you tell the audience something via character dialog or other in-universe stuff, don't also tell the audience about it directly.
mrwgifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/I-Like-It-Another-Thor-Reaction-Gif.gif
Honestly, there's not nearly enough pony guro on the internet. So my only criticism is that Silver Spoon didn't stick around for the kill, maybe to grab a bite or two... Regardless, I eagerly anticipate the CMC getting a steaming pile of bully and a bloody sack of rotting head on their doorstep!
It's about time that little brat got what she deserved.
4434434 indeed ,'8|
...O.O why do i keep finding these stories :( now i feel sick :(
Seriously? Friggen Seriously?
Er...What the F*** did I just read...And why did I enjoy it...?
4434434 I like the reaction pic ^^ my words indeed, MOOOOAR
I had no problem with Gilda killing Diamond Tiara, but did she really have to kill the cmc. Wasn't there another way for her to get payment, like taking their virginity or something?
I love vore, I love Gilda and I love seeing them together, I don't know if they told you before, but thanks for being born! ❤❤❤❤