The Grand Galloping Gala is meant to be a time for celebration. It was the night that, for six friends, all dreams were supposed to come true. Those dreams were crushed weeks before the party even began, and Rainbow Dash knows only one pony is to blame: Herself.
A disastrous attempt by her friends to reconcile Rainbow Dash with their new reality leaves her feeling betrayed, bitter, and isolated (and leaves a certain some pony with a black eye). It will take a miracle to salvage any hope for her...
Chapters (1)
Alright, so you've entered a Twidash competition, a shipping competition, where the prompt is Twidash, which is a ship, with a story without a romance tag.....
Er... alright... If you're going for the angle I think you are, then you need an AU tag on here as well, because it sounds like you re-wrote that episode so it was different from cannon.
Aside from that... it was pretty good. Well written, the emotions were done well enough, and the characters were pretty in-character. It bugs me what Fluttershy said before she left. I know what you were going for with that statement, but it could have used a bit more explanation. it might have taken away some of the impact, but it would make more sense and Fluttershy wouldn't come off as a... well, a bitch, quite frankly. I mean, "I miss you, somepony who is still alive, and was healing - as is stated in the fic - more than a pony who is dead and I will never see again". Really think about that. I like where you tried to go, but there just wasn't enough of it
All in all, good luck in the competition. I look forward to competing with you.
4256893
I'll go ahead and add the AU tag. I wondered about that before submitting the story and figured I'd let the mods decide. I've heard about them rejecting stories with improper tags before. The lack of the Romance tag was due mostly to the setting. They only knew each other a little over half a season at this point, so I certainly wanted the romance to be there, but not exactly as the main focus.
Thanks for the criticism on Fluttershy. Again, the setting played a role there. She knew Twilight for a little while, but she knew Rainbow Dash since they were fillies. It seems I hit and missed with the ending of that scene at the same time.
I really appreciate the feedback (and the favorite, those are always nice). Good luck to you, too.
This story is one to be remembered.
ir apoyar
4270773
Thank you.
Excellent story, I'm glad I took the time to read it.
I have to disagree with Kodeake about Fluttershy's comment to Rainbow as she left. I think it was perfectly fitted to the situation, even if they had known Twilight longer at that point. It almost exactly matches something I have said in a similar situation of losing one person to death that has led to effectively losing someone still alive. As much as it hurts that the one is dead, it hurts worse that the person still alive may as well be dead for all you get to really interact with them.
Again, great story and thanks for sharing it.
You monster first you kill twilight and then make me cry my eyes out. you get no muffins
4271048
Thanks, and you're welcome. I had this idea for an alternate ending to the Sonic Rainboom episode a few months ago. It felt good to get it out.
4271053
Thank you for taking liquid pride in my story.
That was touching
it was so beautiful and the words where dealt with so expertly thank you for an amazing story
4290300
"Expertly?"
Damn, that just made my night. I appreciate it.
4290933 aw no problem besides no point in saying that unless it was true right?
Great... here I am, sitting on a train... tears running out of my eyes... brilliant... xD
You know, usually I DESPISE the stories where somepony of mane 6 dies However, this one is... fascinating.
4314843
A job well done, then. Thanks.
4315596
This is the second time someone has commented on a story of mine telling me that they've enjoyed it despite their aversion to the subject. I've loved it both times.
That was very nice. You've got a couple really powerful moments of genuine emotion in here, and not just between Dash and Twilight. (I'd really love to see the scene she describes of them at Sweet Apple Acres. Her reaction to Dash's swimming comment is the best part of this, it's so real.)
I did kind of wonder at first if you hadn't accidentally written Flutterdash for a TwiDash contest. :V Just throwin' that out there. And the owl's name is literally the funniest thing I have ever read, which means it is horrendously placed in this story. I mean, way to kill the mood! :B I'm laughing just thinking about it.
4322345
All part of my nefarious plan to pull readers further into my story before irrevocably revealing exactly what went wrong.
I appreciate the feedback, especially about the owl. That's some food for future thought. Thanks!
4322488
Honest to god, that owl needs an entire slapstick comedy story written around him.
Ah, so that's what you meant.
This one was quite touching, feely in the right places but heartwarming all the same. I was also pleasantly surprised at how you straddled the line of the prompt very well. Friendshipping is stilll shipping, eh? Thanks for sharing, Mind's Eye.
4324351
I even toyed with the idea of an ending similar to yours. I am so glad I didn't do that. It definitely suits your idea better, especially with the time lapse your story had.
4324496
I think ending yours with a sense of optimism for the future of Equestria was the right decision.
A great piece, honestly, and a very interesting take on the Best Young Flyers thingamabob. There was a point in this where I almost cried, but I held back them ole' tears.
Probably my only nitpick is sentence flow in some places. On more than one occasion, you could have easily connected two or three sentences with a few commas and a little rewording. Did it detract from the story? Not at all.
It was still pretty dangblammable good for my eyes.
4329949
I'll take it as a good sign that a judge favorited my contest entry. Thanks!
I gotta ask though:
Where was it?
4330106 Couldn't tell ya an exact part. Just the whole scene with Twi and Rainbow was very sweet.
Well then, you certainty went all out in the emotional aspects huh?
This was very well written, and I liked the interesting take you took on the Best Young Flier's competition. The whole idea of Rainbow seeing her attempt to save Twilight as a failure in herself was a good point to make the story about, and I fully expected Twilight to believe the opposite.
The Fluttershy bit was a bit off, but I can understand the reasoning of how she might be worried about Rainbow more because of how close they were (Cloudsdale friends and all).
I am surprised that Celestia didn't seem at all annoyed about being punched in the face. Sure, Rainbow was emotionally unstable because of the events surrounding her death, but shouldn't she be at least a bit peeved? Maybe she's just better at hiding it.
Overall, really good read. Best of luck in the competition!
DJRD
4335806
She had time to cool off while Rainbow spoke with Twilight. And she was warned, after all.
Honestly, when I posted this story, I thought people might dislike that scene for being short or feeling rushed. Instead, I heard about Fluttershy and Celestia's actions or lack thereof. I like it! It gives me a new way to think about my writing.
This was the only story in this competition to actually make me cry...bravo.
This...oh god, it was beautiful! So sad! 
4365075
I had some stiff competition in that department. I hope you were smiling by the end. I wanted to put back any hearts I tore out.
The only one?! Whoa.
4365227 Well, I was still sad at the end because they couldn't be together, but then again, if you had let them be together, it would've been just like Adda's story in way too many ways. Lol. I did love it, though. I just have...issues...with relationships ending. I faved it and gave you a 10 on the storyline though.
It was well written and once I picked it up, I couldn't put it down...not that it took long to read, but still. 
Have a like, a fav, a feature recommendation, and this ribbon:
i.imgur.com/6MrWqNZ.png
4742387
Did not expect the feature recommendation. I'm floored.
4742415
To be frank, I find ceiling to be more optimistic, but as you like it
GOOD JOB !!!!! EXCELLENT !!!! WELL DONE !!! I love to cry at such emotional stories. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK !!!!
5953550
Thanks!
Just reread this for the first time in years, and somehow it feels more powerful now than it did when I first read it.