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Princess Twilight sets up a war game for the Royal Canterlot and Crystal Empire guards. By kidnapping Luna and Cadance.
The guards thought she knew the rules. They thought she knew the guard manual backwards and forwards.
Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom re-write the manual... and conquer Equestria.
Edited by Noble Thought.
Cover art: Princess Predicament by radiantrealm
One hundred percent approved by Twilight's Library (also approved by Discord).
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I'm waiting for "Yea, we got our cutie marks in hostage taking. Who are we going to kidnap next?"
This was so much like Pinkie I did a little LOL
Rule #1: Do not trifle in the affairs of alicorns, for they are both long in memory and lifespan.
4997330
That sound like a commercial...
"Cutie Mark Crusader Hostage Takers! We have low rates and satisfaction guarenteed! Who are we going to kidnap next?"
Thanks for reading!
4997345
Pinkie is nothing if not accomodating.
Hot damn, Shining's replacement is a moron.
4997392
Thanks for reading.
considering Twilight's not checking every rule and her own guards stupidity the Crusaders should be low on Luna's revenge list
4997531
One does not simply laugh at the Princess of the Night without expecting a laugh in return.
So the guards seriously don't get any kind of consequenses for being such blockheads? Not to mention all the serious rights violations they commited in Ponyville. I was at least hoping Silver Wind would end up getting demoted or even court marshaled. Honestly the CMC were the biggest victims in all of this.
4997586
The guards were not in Celestia's good graces at the end, not to mention Twilight, Luna, and Cadance. There's also the matter of the searches and state of the street leading up to the Carousel Boutique. They were nowhere near off the hook.
A tip of my hat to you sir\madame, that was quite an enjoyable read.
4997638 Okay then, at least they weren't let off scot free. Still would have been good to see what happened to them, a chewing out from one of the royals or something, but as long as they got some kind of punishment, I'm good. Well played.
4997655
Thanks. I appreciate the comments.
4997646
Good to hear!
I would be scared to if I was threatened to drink Sweetie Belle's tea.
4997820
Hm. Possible story idea there. Like an Equestrian Ice Bucket Challenge.
4997829 oh Luna, what have I done. Lol do it.
Glorious. Utterly glorious. If this doesn't get featured, then I may have to abduct the admins
Will there be a sequel/bonus chapter about the what happens next for the guards and Twilight? Also, what effect will the poison joke have on the CMC?
4997638 Wait, is it implied that Twilight is in trouble for this too? That makes no sense. Yeah, she should have known the procedure for stuff like this but it was still their fault for not listening to her instructions. She set up the exercise and was laying out the rules when they suddenly stopped paying attention and started man-handling her and her friends. BTW, assulting a princess has to be grounds for serious reprecussions. Honestly I half-expected Twilight to start blasting the idiots through walls.
I'm sorry if I seem really hung up about this and taking it way too seriously but I just need some kind of closure. I hope you don't take all this the wrong way, I'm just weird like this.
4997987
No, no, no, Twilight's not in trouble at all. That line in my comment was about Twilight and Luna and Cadance being upset with the guards too, because, like you said, they botched up. I probably could have worded that better.
4997847
I imagine a mad dash to Zecora's in in the CMC's future.
Oh, this is where it starts getting... ugly?
Whoo! Cutie Mark Crusaders!
Great story!
4998006
He knows not what he has done...
Thanks!
4998001 OH! Okay then, that...that is a serious load off my mind. Thank you for clearing that up and, again, I'm sorry if I seemed rude in any way. I know it's a comedy and just meant to be silly but I have a tendency to get caught up on things like this. It's ruined more than a few stories for me but I'm happy to say that this wasn't one of them.
Oh hey it's on the feature box now
Awesome stuff here. I was laughing so much the whole time I was reading. 
4998165
Good to hear it. Thanks.
4998006 Okay, so the guards are worse than I thought. Wow, okay, they need to upgrade their war game rules cause war does not discriminate in anyway!!!! Kids have been involved in wars actively multiple times!!
What to be done with captain: Given the option to either resign his commission or face demotion and disgrace for his gross incompetence during the war game.
Flash Sentry: Sent in for retraining on Equestria's equivalent of Nuremberg laws, or "not to do something just because your following orders"
New training program for the guards, greater emphasis on fact finding, gathering information and communications. Study of unconventional tactics and thinking outside the box.
These are just my immediate findings for what the guard needs based solely on this drill. Wonder what other things I'll think of later that they need training in.
What are the effects of Poison Joke on the CMC?
4998267
4998275
The princesses certainly learned a thing or two about the guards' competency.
4998313 Yeah call it a wild hunch but I think if Flash had been CO he would have at least done better than the clown who I want to call Frank Burns instead of his actual name did. But A. he showed his own moments of incompetence, and b. If he so blindly folows orders that would be problematic to any officer...
4998307
Confusion, stupefication, loss of recognizable speech patterns, wailing, hysteria, and general mayhem.
And then the effects kick in.
4998340 So their sisters, and in scoots case, Rainbow Dash, but as very destructive, and very capable lil fillies that have a record bigger than most criminals in Equestria.
4998340 well okay then XD
That was a work of art. Well done.
4998586 Thanks. Glad you liked it.
I admit the screenshot at the beginning caught me a little off guard, but honestly this was an enjoyable and hilarious treat!
I lost it there
4998640
Yeah, the picture really inspired the story.
4998646
Objective achieved, then.
4998651
Hm, interesting.
Odd part is, I think I have actually seen that picture before on accident.
Did that guard just imply sweetie belle was a harlot?
Okay, THIS is the kind'a thing I wan'na be seeing in the Featured Box more often - this is hilarious! Great work.
Wow, Silver Wind is a bit of a dick.
4998706
Indeed he did.
4998714
Thank you! I enjoy being in the feature box, too.
that, that was just freaking cute. it was hilarious.
and hooo boy, the mess those guys are gonna have to clean up after those fillies get giong........ they desreve it. little miss luna is a clever one. a bit of revenge on the cutie makr crusaders teasing, and a huge revenge upon those incompetent fools.
i demand a sequel where we see just how fucked those guards are.
4998739
4998732
There's a lot of interest in guard comeuppance... I'll keep it in mind.
I immensely enjoyed this story. I laughed frequently the jokes and clever lines. Pinkie, the tea, Cadence and Luna, and Twilight's less than stellar planning just lead to a whole riot of laughter. The twist at the end, perfect.
Congratulations on getting it featured, Minds Eye!
4998778 well they did kinda screw everyone over with blatant regulations and genrall sutpidity. complicated a very simple game.
Quite an interesting story. And I did get that Celestia arranged for some ponies to clean up after them; she said they had a virtual army ready. As far as why the CMC were there? Well, they were OK up until they roped Celestia into the whole wreck, I guess. She's just an innocent bystander if you think about it
Quick thing here, I didn't get the "posion" joke thing at the end.
Could you explain a bit...? 
4998810
Yep. She honored the deal her guards made, and now they face the consequences of making that deal...
4998781
Greatly appreciated.
Golden! That's all I got to say.