Infinite
Of any concept that exists, fear arguably is one of the broadest. It comes in a vast array of shapes and sizes, each one bearing significance to its beholder, whether it is massive or minuscule. Our emotions are wired to respond to these certain entities through a connection with the mind, a perception of the danger before us. That is, if there is even any danger at all.
Sometimes, this danger might not register for most ponies, if any.
Sometimes, it’s a matter of a pony overthinking things.
Twilight Sparkle had a neat little list of her fears. It was on a special scroll of parchment, hidden in a drawer on the side of her that nopony knew about.
She had the idea to keep a list of what scared her back in her school days, when she was nothing more than a budding bookworm with a knack for magic. At that time, the list really did reflect that of a young filly, with some fears including monsters in the closet, thunder, and Nightmare Moon. Twilight always remembered to never tell Luna that she had been afraid of her; had she let it slip, she might never had heard the end of it.
But as she grew older, the list continued marching on. Old fears were grown out of, evident by the lines drawn through many numbers near the top of the scroll. New ones replaced them further down the list, things such as failing a test or misplacing the elements of harmony. In due time, Twilight outgrew those as well.
In fact, there wasn’t very much at the moment that scared Twilight enough for her to consider adding to her lifelong list.
…Until today that is.
She sat on her bed with the warm afternoon sun pouring into her room, illuminating everything in sight with a soft glow, including two scrolls which sat with her on the bed. One of them was her list of fears, which was beginning to show some age in the form of a slight champagne colored tint. She had once considered using her magic to keep it pristine, but decided against it. In a way, she enjoyed the age that the scroll had gathered over the years; giving it some extra meaning.
The other scroll was a letter from Princess Celestia.
It was a letter that she wished had she never received.
“Hey Twi… you ready yet?! Come on, I’m starving here!”
Twilight froze momentarily, wondering how long she had zoned out for. Her thoughts were answered in the form of her cuckoo clock ticking away without a care in the world. The hands read five fifty five.
“Um, could you give me just a few seconds Dash? I need to fix my mane,” she replied, stuttering a bit as she collected the items in a magical glow.
Unmistakable hoofsteps grew louder as her marefriend ascended towards her room. Panicking, Twilight opened the drawer with as much gusto as she had, only to overdo it greatly. The drawer came clean out of the night table, landing with an audible thud on the ground, just as she heard the squeak of her bedroom door.
“I swear, for somepony as organized as you, you can take forever-… uh Twilight?” A confused pair of cerise eyes looked upon the dislodged drawer, then flicked to the drawer’s owner. “Why is there a drawer in the middle of your floor?”
Twilight’s mind fumbled for a reasonable explanation, but the harder she tried to speak, the more silent she became.
Rainbow slowly walked into the room, glancing questionably at the drawer again before taking a seat beside Twilight on her bed. “Twi, you’re sweating, are you sick or something?” She put a hoof to her marefriend’s forehead, expecting some kind of fever, but was surprised to feel nothing out of the ordinary. “You seem fine, and you look great. Let’s go. Trust me you’ll love the food at this place!”
“Can we take a rain check this time? I’m not really hungry right now.”
A long exasperated sigh flowed past Rainbow’s lips. “Alright, something’s up. You just said you were starving about half an hour ago.”
“I just don’t feel up to going out right now, that’s all,” Twilight confessed. Her eyes looked back over the rolled up scroll on her bed.
Rainbow rolled her eyes and turned Twilight back around so they were facing one another. “Listen, please?” Twilight simply nodded. “I’m no slouch, I know something is up when I see it. So instead of playing hide and seek with me, why don’t you just tell me what’s wrong?”
Twilight mentally played many scenarios of what might happen if she showed Rainbow her list of fears. Her mind raced as she imagined Dash laughing at her for worrying about something so silly, telling her to just put it in the back of her mind and to not think about it so much. Honestly, that could have worked for any other situation or fear that she might had.
Only this was more complex than that. She wasn’t sure Rainbow could even possibly fathom the gravity of it all.
“Promise me you won’t laugh if I tell you?”
Her question was met with a look of surprise and silent pain. “Hey, I would never do that to you! Insensitive-me is a me of the past.”
“Fair enough,” Twilight responded with a slight chuckle. “But first, I have to show you something before explaining everything.”
Rainbow’s body fell backwards onto the bed as she mock surrendered, receiving a loud groan of annoyance and a pair of violet eyes that threatened to pierce through her very soul. “I’m just joking. Okay, show me what you got.”
Twilight hesitantly handed her the scroll, which had rolled up on its own. There was a shared moment of silence as the familiar crinkle of aged parchment filled the alicorn’s bedroom. Rainbow gently opened up the scroll, noting its faded color and frayed edging, and correctly assumed it was something that deserved care when being handled.
A one word line, bolded, underlined, and quite messy in Twilight’s writing, greeted Rainbow’s eyes.
Fears.
“I started making it when I was just a filly. It’s gone through a lot of changes, as you can tell.”
She gazed upward at Twilight, unsure of how to respond to being shown such a personal part of her life. Rainbow had fears of her own, many of which were known clear as day by Twilight. But there were still a bunch which remained locked inside her head from Twilight.
Rainbow began to read the list, and was instantly taken aback. Such a thing was one of Twilight Sparkle’s specialties, and any mention of a list by the bookworm earned a reflexive roll of the eyes in return.
This list in particular was out of character. She noted how the hoofwriting illustrated Twilight growing up, with her sometimes messy words in the beginning transforming into cascading loops and curves as she read towards the bottom, most likely as she learned to write using magic. By the second to last line, Twilight’s writing was a near perfect script, as perfect as Rainbow had ever seen before. She pondered the idea of asking Twilight to re-write the entire Daring Do series, just so she could read all of it in her hoofwriting.
Then came the final line.
Rainbow picked up the scroll, tilting it a bit just to make sure that it was the same pony who wrote it. Unlike the natural progression she witnessed before, this line was very messy, and if not for the size in which it was written, she might have had trouble reading it.
Memory.
Rainbow looked up and watched for a moment as Twilight stared out of her window. The mare was tracking a small bluebird that landed on her porch, its stubby little legs moving about as it searched for something in particular.
At this very moment, despite their relatively close vicinity, Rainbow felt as if she was miles away from her.
“Twi… I don’t understand. You’re gonna have to help me out here.”
A heavy sigh was the response she received, before Twilight picked up another sheet of parchment with her magic, this one bearing Celestia’ official insignia.
“This whole experience of becoming an alicorn and a princess, even though it’s been quite a while since it happened, has made me think a lot recently. More specifically, it made me wonder if there are other things I gained by becoming one.” Twilight’s gaze remained outside as she spoke. “Last week, right after Coco Pommel gave Rarity the trophy, was the first time I really thought about it.”
“…I’m going to guess it has to do with memories?” Rainbow questioned, not entirely sure where Twilight was going.
“Celestia and Luna have everlasting memory. I never understood how, or why, but they can recall just about any point in their lives, good or bad, if they see fit.”
Twilight stopped, deciding to hop off the bed and stroll over to her desk. It was a flurry of controlled chaos, papers and books littering the surface in a way only she could understand. Also on the desk was a small inkpot, with three quills beside it. One of them began to glow in a purple aura before gracefully lifting into the air, coming to a halt next to Twilight’s ear. She walked back so she was right next to the bed.
“With everlasting memory, I can remember every single instance that I used this quill. I can remember every letter I wrote, every line of every letter, and if I tried hard enough, every single character of every word,” she explained. “I could spell a word wrong, and I would remember it. I could write a word so perfectly where I marvel at it, and I would remember that very moment.”
Rainbow was going to comment, until realizing the tone of voice Twilight was sinking into. It wasn’t completely foreign, as she recognized it from the many instances Twilight went into her trademark long directionless monologues. Only this time, there was a hint of difference. This hint was unsteady and foreign, unknown and scared.
Un-Twilight-like.
“I don’t mind being a princess and all. Sure, everypony bowing to me will take time to get used to, but to work hoof in hoof with Celestia is something I only dreamed of. Besides, now the library gets a lot of traffic thanks to the fame.”
“Twi…” Rainbow attempted to interject, as she had no desire to watch her friend go into hysteric rambling.
“Even the wings are kind of cool! I can fly if I want to, and it makes it much easier to get around. No wonder pegasi like them so much.”
“Twilight Sparkle!”
The alicorn hushed at the sound of her full name being used. Rainbow was sitting straight up, her eyes staring down Twilight’s.
“Look, going insane over this is not gonna help you. I’ll admit, it’s hard for me to understand how significant this is,” Rainbow confessed, “But that doesn’t mean I’m not gonna try.”
Visibly upset, Twilight threw her hooves up to her face, falling back first onto her comforter with a soft matted thud. “I know you want to help Dash, but, it’s hard to explain something that I don’t even know how to explain.” She rubbed her eyes numerous times, attempting to coax the thoughts out of her aching mind.
Rainbow didn’t have a response to give. Like Twilight, she too was spread out on the princess’s bed, only her front hooves were folded behind her head. She stared a hole into the ceiling above her, and wondered what everlasting memory would be like. To remember every event, good or bad, didn’t sound all that terrible to the pegasus.
She turned her attention back to the window, and in doing so was now on her side, facing away from Twilight. The small bluebird continued to hop along the porch, searching for what she assumed to be nest building materials. It poked and prodded, until finally it came across a few stray leaves that were wedged into the railing. Satisfied, the bird let out a chirp before flying away. As it left on its journey, one of the leaves slipped out of its grasp, and descended back to the porch.
Rainbow watched it gently dance in the light afternoon breeze. She noticed that it had a brownish yellow color, a stark contrast to the rest of the late springtime leaves which all shimmered in their light green hues. The dead leaf came to a rest on the porch for a moment, only to be whisked away yet again.
She turned back around to see Twilight in nearly the same position as before, only that her eyes were closed, and a hoof was slowly stroking her own mane.
“Twi… I think I know what’s bothering you.”
Twilight’s eyes opened, glancing at Rainbow with multiple sparks behind them: one being curiosity, the other fear.
“I think you asked Celestia at some point, but I remember you being just like this not too long ago,” Rainbow continued, rubbing her temple as she tried to coax her memories out. “It had something to do with living forever, doesn’t it?” Her voice both lowered and softened, becoming not much more than a soft whisper.
“It’s not just that...”
Rainbow did a double take, looking at Twilight quizzically till she realized that the alicorn wasn’t finished.
“…It’s more than just me being able to live much longer than the average pony. But you’re right on that part anyway.” Twilight slowly got up, tired of lying in the same position. Her wings unfurled as she did, stretching out to their maximum reach as she got rid of the small aches from lack of use. She was followed by Rainbow, who also decided to hop off the mattress.
Together they stared off into the horizon, watching mother nature work in all her majestic glory. Twilight felt a slight sense of irony in the scene, watching a landscape full of new life when her mind was focused on the complete opposite.
“To put it bluntly Dash, I’m worried about death.”
The overwhelming sadness radiating from Twilight was engulfing Rainbow right into her core. It was unlike any feeling she had ever experienced before, and something she never saw from Twilight. She could feel her heart ache as those last four words were uttered, like tiny icy daggers piercing her soul.
Rainbow scooted close to Twilight and gently nuzzled her marefriend, burying her muzzle into the side of her neck. The gestured was welcomed, and she soon found a lone violet foreleg on the back of her own neck. They remained like this for a moment, and in the stillness of it all Rainbow could feel Twilight shivering, which only made her hold on even tighter.
“Of all things… why worry about death?” Rainbow questioned, her voice walking cautiously on the thin ice of the conversation at hoof. “It’s not like I’m going to drop dead all of a sudden or something.”
It was as if somepony threw a large boulder onto the ice, expecting it to hold. Twilight went wide-eyed as she left Rainbow’s embrace, glaring daggers at her as if she was insulted personally. “Don’t you dare talk like that. You don’t know what can happen in the future Rainbow.”
She simply huffed in response, getting peeved at Twilight’s mood swings. “Alright maybe I don’t! That doesn’t mean I’m going to waste time questioning it.” Her train of thought got lost in the silence, which she welcomed as she retracted. “Twi just talk to me, I hate seeing you like this. You’re like a fish lost in its own fishbowl.”
Twilight walked away from Rainbow as she finished speaking, searching for the journal she had recently written in. She found the object in question sitting pretty on top of a stack of books on her desk. “I started this for a reason,” she started, holding the book up in her aura. “It wasn’t just so that we could learn from one another, or for ponies to find in the future. It was so I could look back on it and focus on the good times rather than the bad.”
“Hang on… How long have you known about this whole memory thing?”
“I figured since Luna, Celestia, and Cadence have it so did I. Granted, I wasn’t a hundred percent sure, which is why I finally decided to send out a letter asking Celestia about it. I tried to ignore it, but it was driving me insane,” she empathized, eyes glancing over at the letter on her bed. “And I could already notice the signs just a couple days after the coronation, like remembering every single thing I ate, down to the way it looked.”
Rainbow Dash stayed quiet and continued to listen to Twilight speak, sensing her marefriend wasn’t finished with her explanation.
“With what I got back from Celestia, it eliminated any doubts I had. What I wished wasn’t true, apparently is, and there is nothing I can do about it,” she said, clear disappointment in her voice as she admitted defeat.
“Twi…”
“And that’s not even the worst of it. What really is scaring me and making me worry so much, is that I’ll have to watch and endure all of you passing away.” A choked sob found its way through her lips. “And then what? Not only will I be all alone, but I’ll remember every single time we all spent together, whether good or bad.”
Her magic dissipated with a light hiss, the journal falling onto the floor with an audible thud. Twilight walked over to her bed and picked up the letter that Celestia had sent her only hours ago.
“This is all thanks to the stupid alicorn thing.” She held the letter in her hoof, the words jumping off the parchment as if to mock her inability to prevent the inevitable. “One of the beauties of the mind is the ability to forget. I guess I can’t do that now can I?” Twilight composure wobbled, before finally falling off the deep end. Glaring at the letter through her now tear stained eyes, she began to violently tear the letter to pieces. The only sounds filling the room were her sobs and the noise of the letter being destroyed. “I didn’t ask for this!”
She closed her eyes to cry some more, and waited to feel the floor beneath her. But instead of meeting the floor of her room, she was greeted by soft cyan fur, which she hugged tightly. “I don’t want to be trapped in my own thoughts,” she said, her voice muffled.
All of this came as a shock to Rainbow, who was at a loss for words. The pegasus hated seeing her friends in such a state of disarray, especially her marefriend, yet she never knew what to say to help.
Instead, she simply held Twilight close as if she could be swept away from her at any moment. Her hoof slowly cascaded down the alicorn’s mane, violet strand after violet strand parting from one another.
“Shh…” she whispered to a level of near silence. Rainbow could feel Twilight’s heartbeat begin to calm down, till it reached a more tranquil level. “Hey, come on now.” She tugged gently on her mane, causing Twilight’s face to gaze upwards at her own.
A surprised gasp nearly left her mouth as she noticed just how tired Twilight looked. Her eyes were bloodshot, and there were bags under them that she didn’t see before. “How long have you been stuck on this?”
“Since the day of the coronation,” Twilight confessed between soft sniffles.
Rainbow looked around the room for a calendar and spotted one atop the wall next to Twilight’s desk. “It’s been nearly three months Twi, you’re letting this eat you alive. It’s killing me to see you like this, you know that.”
A face full of shame, Twilight simply stared at the ground, that is, until Rainbow held her head back up. “Look, I’m not blaming you for anything. You didn’t ask for this whole everlasting memory thing, it just decided to fall from the sky and smack you in the face.”
“More like uppercut me in the chin you mean.”
“First thing, no more being negative,” Rainbow said, poking Twilight in-between her ribs. “Besides, the more negative you are, the more unpredictable you become in general. You’re going to give me a headache if you do stuff like this, and you know what happens when I try and fly when my head hurts.” She experienced a small mental victory as Twilight’s lips curved into a small smile.
“Thanks for the help Dash, but I think I can handle this on my…” A hoof was put against her lips followed by a serious stare from a pair of cerise eyes.
“Two, no doing this one alone. I understand you’ll have some personal beeswax or whatever, but if we’re really a couple, we should trust one another with this sort of thing.”
Twilight cocked her head to one side. “Rainbow, I didn’t say I don’t trust you…”
“Well, then why did I have to walk in on you to find this out?” Twilight said nothing, well aware that Rainbow had made a strong argument. “You can tell me anything, even if it’s the craziest, weirdest, or just plan most ‘out there’ thing. I’m never going to judge you, and don’t tell me you didn’t know that.”
With no response, Twilight just stood there and listened, absorbing everything Rainbow had to say. She watched as her marefriend walked back over to the bed, stepping on various haphazard pieces of a now destroyed letter. With the list of fears in her sight, Rainbow picked up the quill that was resting on the nightstand next to the bed. She drew a long bold line through where it said memory, leaving the list devoid of any current fears.
“Three, stop being scared,” she said bluntly. “It isn’t going to get you anywhere. Nopony can be scared forever. Besides, how I look at it, everlasting memory isn’t that bad.”
Dash could almost hear the proverbial pin drop to the floor. Twilight looked at her with a dumbfounded expression plastered on her face, comprehending what she had just said. “What do you mean it isn’t that bad!? Did you not just listen to what I explained to you!?” She tried to avoid breaking down yet again, and closed her eyes as she started doing some deep breathing in an effort to calm down.
When she opened them, she was greeted by a completely flat face from Rainbow. “Three point five, stop overreacting. You’re starting to remind me of Rarity.”
“Sorry…” Twilight blushed in embarrassment at the comparison. “I just don’t see the good in this.”
“Well that’s because there really isn’t much of it,” Rainbow as she shrugged. “But here’s what I think.”
She motioned for Twilight to sit back up on the bed, to which the alicorn complied. Rainbow cleared her throat, her nervousness evident in her mannerisms.
“As much as you want it not to be true, I’m going to die before you.” She felt her body grow close as she said the second part of the sentence. “So will Rarity, AJ, Flutters, and Pinkie. We don’t have the really long lifespan that you and the princesses have. And when the time comes, it’s going to be hard, and it’s probably going to be the most stressful period of your life. The stress I got from my audition in the Best Young Flier’s Competition is nothing compared to this.” She paused to let the hard details sink into Twilight’s head.
“This doesn’t mean you have to sit around and worry about it. We all know that one day, death is going to come knocking, and when it does, there is nothing we can do to stop it. There’s no stopping time, no going back, no time machines. When it happens, it just happens.”
Rainbow quickly flew over to the desk in the corner, grabbing the journal that had fallen to the floor earlier. She hopped up on the bed next to Twilight, and opened it to the first page, the book nestled comfortably between their laps. Gradually, she rifled through the handful of entries, from Rarity’s elegant brush script, to Pinkie’s scribbles complete with some crude yet humorous sketching.
“I don’t choose to dwell on what might happen in the future. And sure, there will be moments that I wish I could forget, but probably never will. Remember the whole Mare Do Well thing?” Twilight nodded. “I still think about it sometimes, along with a handful of moments I consider low points, when I wasn’t really awesome at all. But this doesn’t happen much. Instead, I usually just find myself daydreaming about memories that are awesome. Those are the ones you should focus on.”
“It’s not that easy though, since you don’t have to worry about everlasting memory,” Twilight responded. “When I think about one of those bad times, I’m going to remember every single part of it.” Her face fell as she finished.
Rainbow cupped Twilight’s chin lightly, bringing her face back up. “Hey, I never said it was easy, because it isn’t. But with time, you’ll probably grow into it. Celestia, Luna, and Cadence are okay with it from what I can see, especially Cadence, who isn’t much older than you right?”
Twilight pondered the question for a moment. “You do have a point.”
“See, it isn’t so bad now is it? All you have to do is focus on living life as it happens, because sometimes you can’t control fate…”
Rainbow pulled Twilight’s face towards her own, surprising the alicorn enough to where she jumped at the sudden contact. She pressed her lips into Twilight’s, wrapping her forelegs around her marefriend as she felt white hot electricity course up her spine and through her wings.
Twilight’s wings shot out like arrows at the unexpected, yet not unwelcomed gesture of affection. Within a few seconds, the kiss turned her into a pool of putty. She melted into it, her body becoming just as charged as Rainbow’s, feeling every nerve within her tingling with pure delight.
“But on some occasions,” Rainbow said as she pulled away, breathing labored, “you just have to make your own fate. Memories are created by what you choose to remember. Just focus on the good and not the bad.”
Twilight responded with a warm sincere smile, her own heavy breathing matching Rainbow’s note for note. “I’ll try my best.” She paused for a moment, before throwing her forelegs around the pegasus, nuzzling her face into the side of her neck. “You don’t know how much I love you right now,” she whispered.
“If you love me as much as you say… can we please go get something to eat?” Both mares were startled as a loud gurgling noise echoed across the room. They stared at one another for a moment before Twilight broke out into giggles.
Rainbow glared and rolled her eyes. “Also, we’re kinda late for this reservation now.” She pointed her hoof at the cuckoo clock on the wall, which Twilight’s eyes followed.
“Right… sorry about that.” She pondered for a second, glancing at the clock while doing some simple math in her head. “Tell you what, I’ll cook you your favorite meal tonight.”
The sudden look of joy on Rainbow’s face told it all. “You mean it!?
“Yes I do! Now then, Chef Twilight requires your assistance, Apprentice Rainbow Dash. If you would, meet me in the kitchen in t-minus five minutes!” she bellowed in a loud authoritative voice.
Rainbow saluted Twilight, going along with the strange military and cooking combination. “Oh and you still owe me one, because that was my favorite restaurant. You better not forget” she teased.
Twilight stuck her tongue out at Rainbow as she flew down the stairs. Before following her, she had one more piece of business to take care of.
Heading back to her bed, Twilight’s list of fears was engulfed in her aura, before a tiny spark of magic lit right in the center. Slowly the spark grew brighter, until it turned into a small flame which quickly spread along the rest of the parchment, easily turning it into a tiny pile of ash. Twilight levitated the now defunct list right into the wastebasket.
“Don’t worry Rainbow… I’ll remember.”
Don't know where this idea came from to be honest, but I did like how this came out. If you couldn't tell by now, I really like these one on one conversations between Rainbow and Twilight. They might be some of my favorite things to write.
Also, hats off to a buddy of mine, Vertorm. He stayed up into the night editing this for me (mostly on my own error of waiting till the last minute again.) So he deserves a ton of thanks. Also, the editing should come on how my writing reads, since I never had a person who specializes in editing look over a story of mine.
Hopefully you enjoyed, and like always, a cookie for those who comment and like 
DJRD
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Oh, interesting. This is looking rather good. And Vertorm as an editor? Fantastic.
Wow...this was simply a great and pleasant story to read. I really like how you capture the emotions of both the characters and plus I'm just a big sucker for Twiight and Rainbow. Thanks for providing another brilliant story. I'm so going to favourite this.
Keep up the wonderful work DJ!
-Frost
You never disappoint, DJRD. Just waiting on Surry's word to start scoring. Probably won't be today, as the folder is still open.
Dude.
You are a TwiDash extraordinare.
The ending...
Going through the whole story and the idea behind the whole memory thing, and ending it with a sentence like that.
A well placed "SAD" tag sir.
4317667 Vert is pretty awesome.
4317787 Thanks! And yeah, I love writing simple scenes with Twi and Rainbow.
4317874 Aw shucks.
Glad you think that way.
4317918 I'm really happy you noticed that, because I did have every intention of ending the story like that, even from the very beginning.
4317667
4317992
Wow, thanks guys. O_o
I... I don't know what to say. Just, thank you.
Just one tiny error I noticed.
Other than that little slip-up, this was a great story. The acceptance of death is hard, I can imagine it would be that much harder to one who can't die and has to watch it happen all around them forever.
Didn't really care for this. Feels like just another 'Twilight has issues with immortality' fic and nothing really happens to set it apart, and I feel that it relies on the ship to give it any sort of hook at all. It's technically fine and all, but it's such a tired premise that I couldn't get into it.
Wow... I... might need to read this again tomorrow morning. This has a lot of Ardensfax in it, and that is something I adore. I... wow. I'm kinda awestruck. You... are pretty much the reason why I love this ship.
And this song came to mind.
Why the hell doesn't this have more views? It more than deserves it.
Very well-written, and definitely one of the most original ideas I've seen in a while.
I wanted to really like this one, but...I don't know. It just didn't hit me in the feels the way I'd hoped. I seem to be in the minority here, so you can likely throw this out as an outlier.
Otherwise, I thought it was reasonably well-written, though I did notice minor errors (many missing commas, a few missing hyphens, and the occasional comma splice) scattered throughout. There were a few points where it distracted me, but that's only because I'm anal about these things. Characterizations were relatively good, though I felt a bit like enumerating a list of directives was more Twilight's gig than Rainbow's. I'm not an expert at the characterization game, though, so I may be forgetting some obscure time in Season One when she did exactly that.
But thanks anyway. Still a good effort and an enjoyable read, and I did throw a like at it, so...chocolate chip, please.
and this is why i love twidash they just fit in so well together and by the way great story
Great story, very well written, fav and up vote.
About time something good made it into the feature box. I was getting tired of adding clopfics.
4318315
Psst, Mr. Editor, you missed a spot:
wow.... im at a loss of words.... this is... beautiful!!! i loved it! the whole fear of immortality being a huge piece to this! and it reminded me of the eternity's end youtube video, it took a much more saddened. this made me so happy and hopeful for twilight. to have her in such a state of fear but knowing that she can always relive the memories and make new ones and her friends will be there for her up to the end... its.... brilliant, beautiful, amazing, awesome, i just... wow. thank you soooooo much for allowing us the privilege of reading your story!!!
4320777 its understandable that somepony might not understand where the feels hit the most, where i believe it should hit the most is in the fact that she is fearing over her own immortality, she will live forever but her friends will die and she will have to live with the agonizing pain of losing them one by one! i agree, though i have NO room to talk, that some of the grammatical issues where a tad bit distracting. if you had to live, with the constant fear of losing all of your friends and loved ones, and not being able to forget the pain of it all... how terrified of the future would you be, another part of the feels in this story is the way rainbow steps up and helps her with her fears. rainbow is loyalty the massive show of support for her special some pony is extremely evident, she is massively concerned for her loved one which helps show that, even in the darkest moment that there will be somepony there to help her when saddened or in need. its a massive psychological emotional piece. i do hope this might have shed some light on your perspective of the story.
4321667 i agree, twidash is a good combination. though i think the reason they fit so well is due to the fact that, in my opinion, magic is small aspects of all 5 elements so she has aspects of loyalty in her, and loyalty plays a massive part in relationships. both twilight and rainbow dash are very easy relationship partners, so what happens when both are in the story? well, a very, very good combination indeed!
A good fic, but I don't think it needed TwiDash. Twilight and Dash, sure, but they didn't need to be shipped to make the story what it is.
(I'm not against shipping, it just doesn't need to be here in this case)
This story ended perfectly. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Very well written story. However, you need to (Vertorm) be careful about comma splices. There are a few in there. There is also an instance where "hand" is used, and there is a problem with not putting commas before declaring names. For instance:
"Thank for the support Rainbow Dash."
"Thanks for the support, Rainbow Dash."
Proper nouns are important. They need to be separated from the rest of the sentence. The same goes for pronouns and anything else in replacement for a name. It could be "sunny boy" or "little man." Whatever.
Another thing is that when there is a response, whether physical or vocal, it is always put in its own little line. For instance:
"Do you really consider Spike family?!" Rainbow Dash yelled, barring her teeth.
Twilight nodded furiously, tears streaming down her face and dripping to the floor.
"Then act like it!"
Drama for the drama gods. Anyway, that is all I really have to say in terms of editing. As I said, the story was great. Loved every minute of it.
4318520 Wow, thanks for all the positive feedback! It isn't totally free of errors (I found a few we missed). And I will happily take a cookie
4319569 Yeah writing this really did make me think at times about death in general. I feel like I'm too young to worry about it. And that mistake has been corrected
4320018 Fair enough, and I was afraid that the concept is not as original as I thought. At least it is technically sound.
4320023 Being compared to the guy who wrote Bluebird's song. Heh...
(That is a compliment I can't even fathom)
4320383 Thanks, I appreciate it!
4320777 In the story, they were technically supposed to be already in a relationship here, which is why "marefriend" was used throughout. I had the impression that some of Twilight rubbed off onto Rainbow, which explains why she did that list thing.
As for the commas and such, I'll have to look over it again if I have time. Thanks for the review!
4321667 I know right!?
4321921 Thanks buddy!
4321944 I guess not being a clopfic is a good thing? Also, the errors have been fixed.
4321949 Glad you enjoyed it so much! And hopefully Twilight will come to her senses thanks to Rainbow and think of the more positive memories before the bad ones
4322028 .Well the contest this was for is for shipping. I suppose I could have written this as a friendship story just as easily.
4322755 Thanks for reading it!
4322901 Ah yes. To be fair, poor Vertorm edited this for me late into the night, so don't put too much flack on him
I'll go through it and fix some things later on tonight.
4323072 we can only hope right?
its a great story and i cant wait to read more of your stories like these
Kind of an interesting take on the tribulations of immortality, I suppose. Weirdly, all I could think was, "why did they need to be shipped?" Contest aside, you could have had pretty much the same conversation between them if they'd been friends. :B
Good but rainbow was a little more intelligent XDXDXD
wow your writing is fantastic. The fic is nearly perfect, I think I noticed one word in the whole fic that probably needed an 's' since it should have been plural (though i don't remember where it is). But anyway again your writing feels amazing to read (possibly to the credit of good editing) and I will now find other stuff of yours to read.
*until* try to use actual words! not shorthands or colloquialisms. Other than that, good work!
4323072 by the way working in twidahs fanfic my shelf and if you have some spare time would you wonna check out my youtube channal i do pony muisic remix working on bats should be up tonight well if you dont wonna check it out thats all right its up to you https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7q_kpVI727ez3QTtSjhV6A
brohoof my awsome fellow brony
Wow I found another twidash story that sounds AWESOME
4324284
HEY! It's you.
4324473 yes, it is I, author of the (for some reason or another) ridiculously popular "Fearless".
Fantastic work, DJRD. I think your representation of Twi and Rainbow was stellar; they were both just as we remember, but at the same time we could tell they'd begun to rub off on each other. The topic was an interesting one even though I don't agree with the headcanon, and both ponies' reactions to it were believable and moving to witness.
I have to say, though, that I think resolving such a deep and terrifying proposition as an eternity of loss with a confident 'Just stop thinking about it' was a bit underwhelming, and due to that I feel as though Twilight caved too easily, especially considering how good she is at working herself into a tizzy/fluster/berserker rage. Ending three months of internal drama with a metaphorical boop on the nose and a polite but firm 'no' just didn't do it for me.
Still, that's only one problem among plenty of high points. Good job, DJRD, and good luck!
4327853 That last line sort of gives away the fact that she still isn't actually over the whole ordeal, or thats what i wanted to give the impression of anyway.
Glad you enjoyed it though! And good luck to you as well.
I was actually scared of reading this one... but I wanted to. It turned out not so bad as I thought it would be. The prospect of immortality is a terrifying one. Getting an everlasting memory to go along with it, when just three months before she had been expecting to die when her time was up?
I don't think a mortal, born mortal, growing up mortal, would be capable of handling that prospect or that reality without being driven insane.
I think it would be unbearably cruel to have Twilight be immortal. My own personal headcanon is that an Alicorn can choose the time of their death. I'm also personally fond of the Wheel of Time rebirth - infinite lives, all replaying together, woven together in different ways, but always together.
If you're up to it, I'd recommend the Iron Druid series. It deals, somewhat, with the prospect of immortality and how a mortal can cope.
Other than that... Good read. Thank you for it, and good luck in the competition.
Here's your comment. I liked the story. WHERE THE BUCK IS MY COOKIE?!?!?!?!
Ahh, I love a good anthro!
Joking aside...
This was a pretty damn good read. Thank you for correct use of ellipses, as this is one of my peeves. I'd like to to give some criticism as well, but I honestly didn't see much of anything that I would change. 
4327853
While I mostly agree with this, you might be surprised at how much a loved one's "stronger" words can bring about a change in a person. (or pony)
4336977
Oh, trust me. I know that from experience.
4336977 Ah, thanks for catching that. And glad you enjoyed it!
4330266 Jeez! *hands cookie* No need to raise your voice now
4329473 The idea that alicorns can choose their own death was one option I thought about when writing this. What I decided to go with is that alicorns just live much longer than normal ponies, but are still mortal.
The whole idea of everlasting memory is the part that the story really revolves around more. The thought scares me to be honest.
4324468 Well I hope its awesome
4324284 Fair point I suppose, although I don't really use shorthand often. Thanks for reading!
4324132 I appreciate all the praise!
Makes me all warm and fuzzy knowing somebody thinks my writing is that good.
4323445 You think so? I did try to write her in character, and thought I did. My headcanon of Dash is that she is intelligent, but its harder to see on the surface because she doesn't want to be looked upon as an egghead. So I think she's able to have these serious deep conversations without skipping a beat, like she did with Twi.
4323306 It could have worked either way, but hey, I prefer them shipped
4338679 Me too.
4338811 I did!
4329473
The Iron Druid too? You and I seem to have very similar tastes in literature.
4338986
Your sad face makes me sad. I hope things have cleared up since then.
4339823 Things have always been clear for me (at least in my twisted perception).
Perhaps that's my problem.
4338811 IT WAS!
You got Vertorm to edit this? That's...intimidating.
I really liked this a lot!
I thought it was going to be sad, so I put it off until it was second to last, but I regret that a bit now. 
4362963 Thanks! And most of my sad stories do turn around and become somewhat happier by the end (I don't feel like leaving people on a really depressing note
)
Also, why is Vertorm intimidating? Just curious
4363378 Oh, he's not intimidating to the judges, but to the other contestants. He's done an entire synopsis of one of my stories, and I know he's extremely well versed in the English language. He's a very good editor, and I feel having him do help you with your story makes you a strong competitor.
4322901
Hey now. I know all that about comma splices. =P I know it's an excuse but I edited this when I was about to go to bed. DJ caught me as I was finishing up for my night and asked me to edit this when it was due the next day. xD I was EXHAUSTED. If it makes you feel better, I'll go through and edit it again when I'm fully awake.
Good job
I liked Encouragement Rainbow a lot, and her very positive outlook on things fits her very well. I also liked that last little line. Stubborn alicorn is stubborn
Oh yeah, the story goes totally against my headcanon, but I enjoyed it anyway. Have one of them like things
And congratz on winning the contest! I'm actually looking forward to crossing quills with you some time again
Soooooooooo I'm one of those people who's all jaded on the "princess immortality angstfic" genre. As in, if I sense that being used in a story, I click "X" right away. I'm that over it.
...you found a new-ish direction to take it in, though, so I was compelled to continue. Kudos to you for cheating.
Twilight's a little more Lesson Zero-y than I'd expect given this is post-coronation. The concept of everlasting memory is a genuinely novel and neat one, though Twi acts as if this causes bad memories to be forced into her mind against her will. Which of course makes little sense and thus didn't sell the memory concept to me as well as you probably wanted it to. The tone of this story jumps all around the place, too -- from happy to DEATH to ponderous to IMMORTALANGST to KISSYFACE.
While the story never really jumps the rails because of it, it's hard to miss.
Oddly enough, I think you actually need the ship to make this work. Having Twilight and Rainbow already be together gives their bond the extra kick it needs to be able to overcome Twi's multiple chilling fears. Speaking of Rainbow here, she's actually pretty awesome -- my favorite part of the story actually. Her (excellently-written) blunt optimism is the perfect foil for Twilight's neuroticism, and best of all, she doesn't sound like Doogie Howser! Keep at it.
In all, I enjoy this enough to give it a like, but not a fave. There are other stories you've done that I like more. Still, keep writing and improving, DJ, it's clear you're doing what you love.
(Also, "cerise eyes?" Really? I know that thing with Center of the Rainbow happened but come on. Come ooooooooooooon.
)
4489588 I realized after I finished that I had jumped on a bandwagon idea so many people already have looked at. Thankfully I made it somewhat different from the rest
Happy to hear that your favorite part is how I wrote Dash (which I tried to improve on from Journey). And thank you for agreeing on the shipping part of the story, because your reasoning is exactly what I was going for.