After an afternoon of gem hunting with his crush, Spike makes a comment that sends Rarity running. He has only one question: why?
(Tagged Teen for mention of an affair)
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 27th Sep, 2013
- offline last seen Feb 25th, 2023
logisticbumm
Call me logisticbumm. I write and draw in my spare time. Thanks for stoping by.
logisticbumm
Joined 27th Sep, 2013 ·
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Some errors (But not many), but besides that your story brought a smile to my face
Aggggggh, the feels!
4184536 Thank you
Really like the story, but it did felt so sudden and sped up about Spike and his feelings for Rarity at the beginning. But overall, it was really enjoyable. Well done
4185016
It is really hard to focus on making a proper comment with your avatar distracting me so.
Stupid, sexy Misha...
4186611 glad to distract.
This... I enjoyed this. You earned a follower.
4188138
thank you! I hope you enjoy any future work I do.
Good story I give it a nice 7.1/10
Your writing style is... cluttered. With a small hint of beige prose. Nothing too bad, just try and be a bit more articulate with your sentences.
As for the story, I'm middle-of-the-road on it. It feels extremely rushed, but it's cute nonetheless. I've seen better, but also much worse.
Rewrite this with a better syntax, and I'll gladly thumb it up.
I think the compactness of the story really make it for me, syntax errors be damned (I'm not a grammer nazi, I can deal with some because I'm mentally correcting obvious errors. Our minds do that on their own.) And it does spotlight something that we don't really see often---how Spike is able to let somepony go. In this case, he knew that he still loved Rarity, but he also knew that her happiness and comfort is much more important than his own. We all know the adage: If you truly love someone, let them go. Because if the love is true, it will come back to you.
Obviously we found out it was true love all the time.
It just took some time to figure it out.
What really bugged me was this: Was it really a dream? Or was it a memory? The way that Rarity and Spike conversed at the end seems like it's a memory, because it would have really sucked if we discovered that the whole story was just a dream in Spike's head and when reality comes in, we show him desolate, isolated, and lonely.
It definitely gave the Sad tag
this was just beautiful, i'd ask for a follow up story but that might be asking too much
Who in the hell disliked this
My feels are broken now but i love this story
4199873 I'm guessing they just hit the wrong button :)
4197426 it was neither dream nor memory: It was draconian magic at play- a fantasy created by spike to cope.
4197936 these two will be back in my writing, just not a follow up. Though I may just have to do one.
Beautiful.
This is cool.
Loved it! It moved me. But I am a sucker for sad scenes and happy endings...and sad scenes. Also it's 1 in the morning here. BUT STILL!!
It's good. I would like to point out however, that there are many, many, times where you FORGOT TO CAPITALIZE THEIR NAMES. Seriously.... Don't do that. Anything but that. Well, not anything...but that's a pretty easy one..
But back to it...five mares? Well, damn.
I call naming the baby/babies
I guess I'm glad he had a happy ending.
orig00.deviantart.net/a30d/f/2017/055/2/7/fashionably_resting_by_hillbe-db0abdt.jpg
I wish to know, who is this bastard? He deserves to have his nuts removed.