Hi, I'm Xhoral. I attempt to write stories. Wish me luck!
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The Ents have been protecting the Wilds since the beginning. Now, the Creature threatens to destroy everything they have sworn to protect. It will come at a great price.
Artwork by: Huussii
Featured in The Hot Muffins group.
Edit: 3/28/2014, fixed errors in word usage and comma/period usage. Hopefully it will flow better.
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:D this is awesome.
glorious head cannon i need more good sir!
I love these history-type stories. This is pretty good!
4149022
Thanks!
Very Epic, but needs a cleaning up.
4149037
Mind pointing out which parts?
4149042 I noticed some commas where there should be periods and vice versa, I'll ask a friend of mine if he could take a peak.
4149050
Alright, thanks.
Thanks for the contribution
4149236
Your welcome.
Very nice world-building! I really enjoyed this story. Thank you for publishing it for us.
This is amazing!
I am disappointed by one thing...
This is a one shot.
The idea is intriguing, the telling most compelling. And I'll stop there to avoid spoilers.
Nice work.
Great story. Here's the review. Hope you like it
That was beautiful.
Let's start with a couple of little grammar nitpicks and get those silly and frivolous things out of the way.
-We of the Everfree have sensed that this being too powerful for us to destroy on our own.
We of the Everfree have sensed that this being is too powerful for us to destroy on our own.
-It will take some time to find those that have hidden themselves within the most wildest of places.
most wildest needs to be revised to 'wildest' or 'most wild'
Now that those are done with, let's look at some of the technical aspects of the story.
-You wrote this in a style i can say I have only ever seen you write in, personally. The style feels like a textbook account, though firsthand. And just because it is different, by no means is it bad. For the type of story you were trying to write, it seemed to nail it right on the head in its own particular fashion.
-Grammar is flawless.
-The idea is so original, i can't find a cleverly placed Gordon Ramsey reference to make a dry joke! Quite an imagination you have there, buddy. Never lose that.
-The pacing is very fast, which we can expect of a story written almost entirely in the 'tell' style rather than 'show'. Honestly, for something that moves so slowly, we don't need any show parts because they would put readers to sleep!
I really didn't find anything that stood out as bad on this story, and to close i will grade it based on the review style that i learned when applying for the Equestrian Critics Society.
Writing style: The narrative was fast, though consistent and also appropriate. Quite unique in a good way. 9
Structure: Pacing flowed well and everything was coherently put together. Time jumps were slightly jarring on one occasion. 9
Characters: The Ents are a very interesting and, as far as i am concerned, original idea. 10
Plot: Highly imaginative, no major holes, all around well put together. 9
Originality: I wish i could give you more points for this category, but 10 is the maximum. 10
Overall Verdict: 9.4/10