Hi, I'm Xhoral. I attempt to write stories. Wish me luck!
The Writers' Group56,370 stories ·9,290 members
School for New Writers9,608 stories ·5,008 members
I Just Want a Comment15,699 stories ·3,671 members
Changelings Need Love Too1,539 stories ·2,332 members
The Shameless Self-Promotion Bureau49,205 stories ·5,458 members
Celestia's Library3,173 stories ·1,083 members
Cadence's Library10,492 stories ·1,375 members
After the failed attack on Canterlot Chrysalis has to deal with the loss of almost the entirety of her hive and the responsibility of finding a new home for them.
Artwork is by Huussii.
Some thanks go to TigerSwirl448 for being a pre-reader.
Edit: This idea came from a friend; If enough people want me to I could probably continue from this.
Page generated in 0.086 seconds
Total duration
1,040 users online
249,345 hits today, 2,004,447 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I like it. Sad story of the repercussions of Chrysalis' actions, and her realization of it.
A few notes:
If they can survive on pony feed, they do not need emotions to survive.
Maybe it needs a small addition like "could sustain themselves temporarily on pony food, but" ?
4133873
Okay, thanks for pointing those out. Glad you like it.
Edit: Fixed.
These are some of the most obvious errors I found. Otherwise, I really like it.
4135735
Thanks for pointing those out.
Edit: Fixed
4135738
At least now, it'll give off a better impression.
Awesome! And they were all at the beginning too.
4135799
Yeah, I guess I spent a lot more time near the end than the beginning.
Who would have thought it would end like this?
Anyway, this was very good!
4137935
Yeah, I've seen a lot of fics that have a happy ending for when Chrysalis was defeated, but never anything bad happening. My next story isn't gonna be dark in any way hopefully. I seem to good at writing the dark stuff.
Thanks for liking it enough to comment on it.
4138027
Is that so? I can't really compare, since I haven't read too many fanfics facing this topic (this may be even my first one). But, still, I probably wouldn't come up with something like this.
Yes, I really liked it. I try to comment on everything I read, I believe it must be nice for the author to see someone commenting on their work.
4138140
Yeah I try to do the same. It is very nice that I'm getting comments.
Now I'm depressed...well, more so. I really like this idea and other than perhaps two errors, this was really well done!! Is this a one-shot or do you plan on saving the changeling race?
Regardless, it's been such a long time since I've read such an amazing changeling fic; props, gold, favs, likes, and royalty for you! (Whatever that means
)
4560860
Oh wow, didn't think it would receive such praise from anyone. I haven't really thought of continuing it but it seems like a good idea to do. I might try it if I can find the patience some time.
Like you asked, here's a comment with my thoughts.
Your writing style is very interesting, in that it is quite different from almost anyone else. You almost never use 'show' in your stories, and yet they just work. You tell these stories that take place over an extended period of time in a one-shot, and though i usually don't like this style of writing due to the commonplace shoddy work on it, I like yours. I really like yours.
The story is good, and the ending powerful and heart-wrenching. I actually felt tears trying to form in my eyes, and i almost never cry from reading a story. NEVER. You have done an achievement here.
As for the continuation on this story, I would love to see what happens next. There is still untapped potential thati want to see play out, and i am looking forward to seeing this and possibly helping you out along the way.
Overall, great job. 9/10 on a scale of just how i fell about it
So what is the moral of the story? Please do continue.
5420436
There really isn't a moral to the story.
5421502 This kinda upsets me. If you continue this please do so. I would like to see a meaning to this story because I dislike meaningless or moral-less stories.
That ending brought a tear to my eye...
5864867
That's the reaction I'm looking for.
had been
in case no one pointed this out yet.
6316218
Thanks!
i liked this story, but truthfully i was hoping for some sort of happy ending or something not that depressing. also "that animal" idk if thats a typo or if i missed an animal being mentioned or something.
6420290
Yeah, I've been planning on continuing this but haven't gotten around to doing it.
It was a typo, supposed to be 'an animal'. I fixed it, thanks for mentioning it.
6420426
oh good!
i hope it has a happy ending Xd