- Member Since 20th Jun, 2012
- offline last seen 2 hours ago
Game-BeatX14
Pony wallpaper artist, music producer and fanfiction author | Offline Archive
Game-BeatX14
Joined 20th Jun, 2012 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Drakalian · 8.7k words · 76 13 · 2.6k views
Featured In50
Shipping 💖11,670 stories ·9,742 members
Clopfics11,546 stories ·15,814 members
- oops29 stories ·13 members
The Writers' Group56,394 stories ·9,291 members
One-Shots18,907 stories ·2,369 members
- Pinkie Pie: Pinkamena Diane Pie1,853 stories ·1,624 members
- Finished192 stories ·24 members
- Pinkie Pies Only!733 stories ·606 members
Stats
Page generated in 0.096 seconds
Total duration
975 users online
69,855 hits today, 2,244,100 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Well...that was...original...Oddly a bit hot though. I approve.
...
U WOT M8
Surprisingly, this is not the strangest thing I've seen this week
I love this. ♥
Well, that was something else ;)
Some suggestions:
How you ever managed to last more than a week befounds me to this day.
- maybe repleace "befound" (I had to google this slang word) with "bemuse"?
A large Elephant was plastered across the full color page, taking a sip from a pond by utilizing it's trunk as a straw.
- its trunk
Just don't forget to document your experiences so you can share them with the girls and I.
- the girls and me.
It smelled almost musthy like Spike.
- musty
Sexy.
5451217
No, "musth" is a word. A hyphen before the y might be advisable, but only if we're really tightening the screws.
Also, "with the girls and me" is right because it would be "with me" rather than "with I".
I do agree with "befound" being odd. I'd suggest confound instead, though.
Other suggestions:
deal with the rogue size tag (move it before the newline, if it's supposed to be the closer for that, rather than just being spare?)
reeked
8058061 Thank you for pointing out those last two errors; I fixed them. The other suggestions are more subjective though and I'd rather not change wording around three years after this was published.
Also, I find it funny that you just responded to a 116 week old comment. Lol. I don't get much traffic on this story anymore as you can tell, so it's nice to see people are still finding it.
8058061
1. "musth"
The more you know :)
2. Consider:
the girls and me = us
Just don't forget to document your experiences so you can share them with us.
vs.
Just don't forget to document your experiences so you can share them with we.
Would you use the second one? I wouldn't.
It is the same usage as in:
"picture of you and me/him/her/etc. (us)" not "you and I/he/she/etc. (we)"
"between you and me (us)" not "you and I (we)"
8059258
At least my reasoning was still right, even if I was mistakenly saying I disagreed when I was agreeing with you!
Whoops. I somehow got your suggestion and the original backwards.