• Member Since 2nd Mar, 2013
  • offline last seen Jun 25th, 2016

Digital Ghost


I keep changing this thing, yet I haven't changed my avatar since I signed up... Guess that says a lot about me, huh?

Sequels1

E

Cadence and Shining Armor visit one of their generals and his wife in the hospital to give their congratulations on the new born foal. However... the visit wasn't as routine as they first thought.


Based off ScopeEva's prompt/idea during a discussion. Told ya I'd put it on my to-do list.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 58 )

Twi right now :pinkiecrazy: she broke

And, Sequel, because the Comedy that entrails from the ending Speaks for itself.

4315533
Indeed! A sequel is most necessary!

It was SO fricken funny at the end... She'll be armed.

4315533
4315718
I'll see what I can do about a sequel. :twilightsmile:

4315754 Wouldn't be a surprise

4315793 YES PLEASE SEQUEL

More please:twilightsmile:. This can't be completed you left a cliffhanger.

4316188
4316214

Weeeeell, since you guys really want a sequel, I guess I can try to continue this little story. So... stay tuned, I guess?

Was sorta hard to read. The speech was just too formal.

4316470 I like your profile pic. Followed

An entertaining read, but you seemed to have trouble keeping in the past tense.
Just so you know, you're not supposed to use present tense outside of dialogue unless the whole story is present tense (which this one wasn't).

I will join the others in encouraging you to write more about this. There's a lot of stuff on this site about changelings and normalizing their relations with Equestria, but your story here has some interesting points:

1) So often, the focus of a 'changelings aren't so bad' story is a prominent MLP character (usually Twilight, poor girl) turning out to be a changeling. This story doesn't do that - it's about trying to help and integrate changelings because they deserve a chance at redeeming themselves, not because suddenly a beloved character is a changeling.

2) I hope you're going to keep Chrysalis as her ... charming self, because one of these changeling redemption fics with 'Chrysalis is still a total bitch' would be really fun from a political point of view. How to sell changelings as capable of rejoining Equestrian society when their leader is still a scenery-chewing bad-guy?

3) I love how you tie them to the crystal ponies. I haven't seen that before, and I hope you run with it further.

This is an interesting turn of events that I'd like to see continued. Looking foward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.

4316796 Sorry about that, I'll try to make my stories sound more natural next time.

4316923 Thank you! :pinkiehappy:

4317421 This is what I get for not paying attention in English class :derpytongue2: Thanks for reminding me of that, I'll keep that in mind the next time.

4317540
1) I've seen quite a few of those fics myself, and I wanted to try something different. I once thought about the possibility that Luna was Chrysalis in disguise (disguiseception?) but I guess there are already stories about that out there.
2) That's going to be a challenge :twilightsheepish:
3) Thank you, and don't worry, I will :raritywink:

4318559 Oh boy, the pressure's on now, but bring it on! :rainbowdetermined2:

Thank you all for the feedback. It means a lot. :heart:

A very interesting concept. I'll admit I havent seen it before. It makes sense if you tilt your head and squint. Crystal ponies gather love to protect themselves, Changelings gather love to eat. I'd read more on the idea, if the motivation hits you.

4317540
Pretty much hits the nail on the head about what I'd say for further installments.

Completed or not chapter two please. This is to good to end here.

4315490 Well at least she got some advanced warning this time...

4321855 The next one's going to be another story, since the setting is different from this one, and tackles a different problem.

4317540

This story doesn't do that - it's about trying to help and integrate changelings because they deserve a chance at redeeming themselves, not because suddenly a beloved character is a changeling.

My problem with that particular phrasing is that it indicates that every individual changeling, this entire species, is in need of a redemption story. It just gives off certain negative connotations. I don't see why it's hard to believe that there exists changelings who are already good or at least neutral.

I actually enjoy the back story of the changelings in this one. It actually kind of makes sense.
Though I do wonder, do the changeling feed off the love from the crystal heart by being near it?

4324256 That's about right. Personally, I see the relationship of the crystal heart and the changelings to be similar to the sun and plants, only that they have to be closer to the source to benefit from the heart's radiance.

4324478
So will you do a separate story to go with Chrysalis' arrival at the Crystal Empire?

4324513 Something like that. It kicks off where this one left.

4324683
So if the changeling stray too far away from the Heart, do they become feral if they don't feed?

4324696 Yes, and feral changelings are really destructive, so it'd be a good idea not to let changelings starve.

"none of the other ponies, save Armor, seem to find anything wrong" Change "seem" to "seemed".

"I know you're history" Change "you're" to "your".

Now technically, the Crystal Empire is an entirely different kingdom/country from Equestria so Celestia, Luna and Twilight (If she is a princess) can't do anything about Chrysalis being in the Empire. So I guess they're going to have to deal with it. #DEAL WITH IT

4327032 Ahh, thank you. Looks like I missed a few.

4327876 You know, that never really occurred to me. This sure will make it harder for Twilight.

oh my i can see it Twilight going insane because her brother and sister-in-law are inviting Chrysalis who almost ruined their wedding to a welcome banquet or something lol:twilightoops:

man i cant wait to see the chaos that would happen.

An interesting notion here sir, and you could do so much more with it. This has possibilities GALORE! :coolphoto:

4331764 Oh she's going insane alright :pinkiecrazy:

4331904 That's what worries me. I really don't want to screw this up since I've screwed up good things before, and it did not end pretty :pinkiesad2:

More please!

Huh, most changeling origins I've seen have them be related to the flutter ponies from G1, but this is a new twist. And it's one that makes a lot of sense!

:twilightoops::twilightoops::twilightoops::twilightoops::twilightoops::twilightoops::twilightoops::twilightoops::twilightoops::twilightoops:

Don't explode, brain. Don't explode. Don't--*ptchooo*

4333532 I just did my research on that, and I can see why they're used commonly. Also, apparently in the Italian version, they're called "Pony Flaflap" :rainbowlaugh:

4333586 At least that's only one explosion

Well I can safely say I was quite surprised to find my name on the front of a story while browsing. Now my memory has been jogged I'm quite glad that an idea I helped spawn has be nurtured so and perhaps a little flattered at the acknowledgement. :twilightblush:

It's been an interesting read and I'll be sure to read the next part asap. Overall nicely done. :ajsmug:

4403285 Just thought it was only fair since you were the one who gave me the basic plot for the story. And thank you, you're too kind :pinkiehappy:

Heh. Strange but interesting idea. But it makes sense, in its own strange way. The Crystal Heart and changelings... :eeyup:

One detail, though: it doesn't explain why the princess never saw any crystal pony babies... it's not like they were all changelings, right? :unsuresweetie:

Got a few remarks and corrections:
> Well that question will soon be answered, wouldn't it?
Keep the correct tense: "that question [would] soon be answered"
> Armor knew which room the lucky couple were staying, so she let him take the lead.
either "knew [in] which room the lucky couple were staying" or "knew which room the lucky couple were staying [in]".
> Not that she was complaining, it helped her see if she was doing a good job as the leader of an empire.
This is a comma splice; two complete sentences should not be joined together with a comma. Since the second sentence elaborates on the first one, they could be joined with a semicolon instead, though. There are a couple more of these in the story, by the way.
> Armor didn't want to miss Lancet before he goes on leave
Keep the correct tense: "before he [went] on leave"
> say good-bye to your loved ones cause we are not coming back until midnight!
"cause" is a completely different word from the cut-off version of "because". To cut off a word, put an apostrophe where the cutoff occurred: <'cause>.
> Its not likely that ponies will forget what happened in Canterlot so easily
"[It's] not likely"
> No, it's alright your highness.
"your highness" is an addressing term. Always split those off from the rest of the sentence with commas. This image should explain why this is necessary: :twilightsmile:
images.signals.com/graphics/products/regular/HN3281.jpg

And finally... you should open up the "writing guide", which is under the FAQ menu in the navigation bar here on fimfic, and look up the correct quoting rules for "s/he said" constructions :raritywink:

4408818

1) Looks like that's something I need to cover in the sequel.

2) Fixed. I'll hunt down the rest of those comma splices. (If I paid attention to English class, I might have known what those were.)

3) Will do!

Thanks for pointing out the errors. Hopefully the story is more bearable to read.

4411235
Well, I spot these errors when I read anyway, so I just think, why not list them so you can use them to improve the story? So, in a way, it's a free service :twilightsmile:

4413629 Yeah, I guess it is. Oh, and this mustached dragon of awesomeness is for you. :moustache:

Pretty good... Thus far... I'll read the next story in a bit... :)

Excellent headcanon!! I can't wait to see what comes next! :raritywink:

4996562 :pinkiehappy: The sequel is already out and complete, if you haven't already stumbled across it. Glad you enjoyed :yay:

4333586
Uh--uh--uh oh... :rainbowhuh:
I think maybe mine's goin--- *ptchooooo*

This is a novel notion, and it gets my applause. I'm already looking forward to starting on the continuation.:pinkiehappy:

5575702 Don't be hesitant to let me know how you feel about the sequel, I'd love to know which parts stole earned your love, and which ones irked you. So they may be sent to the pit of snakes :rainbowkiss:

5579039 I'll be sure to, just as soon as I get the chance.:twilightsmile:

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