Never Fall Short
Twilight Sparkle,
You know your life has taken a wrong turn when you end up feeling sorry for just about everything you do. Ponies hate me so much, I sometimes come home feeling that just breathing is a crime. So once again I find myself apologizing for my mistakes. Firstly, I’m sorry I sent this to you. You don’t owe me anything, and I know that. I owe you everything. I owe you for all the pain I caused and all the ponies I hurt. And I guess I owe you again, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to pay off this debt.
I don’t have the strength to make things better. I’ve tried and I’ve tried… but I’m tired. Tired of living. Tired of being who I am. I’m tired of all the stares, of all the ponies whispering my name as I pass by, of all the laughter I hear that I don’t deserve to join in on.
The thing is, I tell myself that I’m ‘great’ and ‘powerful’ to trick myself into believing it. All that boasting and showiness wasn’t intended to hurt anypony… just heal somepony. One pony in particular. That was me.
I realize now that I shouldn’t make everything about me. That’s all I seem to be good at. Here I am begging for some sympathy at the hooves of a pony that should rightfully hate me, and probably does. This letter may seem like a cry for help, but I’m past those. By the time you read this, I’ll be gone anyways. There’s no need to worry about me. No, it’s not a cry for help… I’m just here to say thank you.
If you’re reading this, that must mean you care. I’m not sure how to thank you for that. I’m not accustomed to ponies liking me. Then again, it’s only wishful thinking to say that you like me. That’s just unheard of. After all I put you through, I don’t have any right to be sitting here, writing this final letter to somepony so loved and admired. I’m just writing to stall time, really. I’m not sure I want to do this. I’ve got everything I need. All I need is a gun anyways.
I’m just… scared.
I was never a brave pony, as you know. But this seems like a chance to take matters into my own hooves and I just find it so disappointing that once again… I fall short. I’m too afraid to pull the trigger. I’m not afraid of what lies on the other side of a bullet through my brain… what I’m afraid of is what I’ll leave behind.
Nothing.
When I die, nopony will say ‘it’s a shame’ or ‘I’ll miss her’. They’ll say ‘good riddance’
But even so, at least they know who I am. What really scares me is that when I die, nopony will remember me at all. I’m just a nameless face. An unmarked grave. At my funeral, will anypony cry?
Will anypony even arrive in the first place?
Most ponies question what lies after death, but not me. I know what comes after is better. If I go to heaven, I don’t deserve it. And the other way? At least I’ll be content knowing that I’m getting what I paid for.
If there’s nothing after death… I’m alright with that. I’d rather be numb than feel what I feel. The only time I’ve ever been happy was when I was asleep anyways.
Trixie I’ve made my decision.
I’m doing it. Please don’t try and save me. I’m a lost cause. I don’t want to bring you any more trouble than I already have.
Goodbye, Twilight Sparkle.
Or should I say… goodnight.
Sincerely,
Trixie
I lowered the letter from my line of vision, folding it and placing it gently on the thick glass top of the casket. My hoof slid across the transparent surface, inadvertently brushing away a few of the rose petals that scattered the coffin. My eyes followed them as they drifted lazily down, twirling as they went in a whirl of soft pink, and rested on the top of the thick, uncut grass.
For a while I stood there before the sea of onlooking mourners, wondering how I should begin to speak about something that was so important to me.
“I-I never know what to say to these things,” I finally began with a choked laugh, tears already welling in my eyes, “I felt the same way when I first recieved the letter, I tried writing a response to help me cope, even though I knew it would be a letter Trixie would never read… but I realize now that I don’t need a letter, I just need my words… words from my heart. “
I gazed out into the rows of lawn chairs placed neatly across the field, searching for five familiar faces among the crowd. There they were, smiling up at me with tears in their eyes, yet proud smiles on their faces. I now know what to say.
“Those are the very best kind of words,” I sniffled, my voice faltering for a moment’s time, “I just wish that I had the words back then, back when Trixie was with us, because maybe… just maybe… I could’ve saved her. Maybe if I had smiled a little more and maybe if I had remembered to send her a card on her birthday…”
I was crying freely by this time, my tears streaming down my face and tickling my muzzle as they dripped to the ground.
“Maybe if I had taken the time to get to know Trixie a little better, maybe I could’ve called her a close friend… if there’s a heaven out there, all I know is that Trixie is there. All I know is that the entire town gathered for the funeral of a mare who didn’t even know she had friends… and all I know is that sometimes there aren’t enough words to express how much we love somepony. Maybe if I had those words, Trixie would know how much we cared… and she would finally know that for that, there was never any doubt.”
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This was such a sad story.
Have a fav and a like.
The art style for the cover image was so familiar that I automatically knew who made it. You know Princess Molestia? Well, the original creator has a deviantART and they actually make wonderful art. Here's the link to the picture: http://johnjoseco.deviantart.com/art/Who-is-Great-and-Powerful-Now-205738377
4106744 Aww, sorry to make you sad.
Thanks anyways!
4106757 Ah, I knew I had seen that art somewhere. Princess Molestia seems to pop up everywhere I look. (my poor eyes!) Thank you very much!
Awww, sadness. :c
4106779
I know, right? Thanks for the fave though!
What a sad story. I'd like to let the Great and Powerful Trixie know I love her and that life gets better...
4106804
Hey, would you mind if I borrowed this concept? I really like it, and I feel inspired to write something self.
And I've got an animated Rainbow Dash sprite yelling, "Best Day Ever!"
4106820 I hope you enjoyed it even though it was sad. i wish I could say so as well. Trixie needs more love.
4106829 Dash! How dare you!
4106825 Certainly! What do you have in mind?
As a person who has had suicide affect their life in terrible ways, I have to say that you captured the feelings so well. It may have been a short story but it was beautiful none the less.
As a Trixie fan, I approve! I am also saddened. Have a thumbs up.
4106836
Just thought I'd give the whole "suicide letter" idea a go, is all. :)
4106838 Wow, that is one of the kindest comments I have ever gotten!
Thank you so much ~ it is very inspiring to see people enjoy my work. Also, I am incredibly sorry to hear that you have been negatively impacted by suicide. My heart goes out to you and anyone else who was involved.
4106845 Thank ya kindly!
4106857 Sounds good. You should tell me when you write it! I'd love to give it a read.
4106884
I will!
If you're interested, you could read my story "Requiem for Sweetie Belle" if you're into sad stories.
4106992 I read it and loved it!
forum.sbrforum.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=45498&d=1344186488
Liquid Pride has been shed
4107222
Woah. That's a lot of liquid pride there.
As someone who has spent months psyching himself into the place of a character to whom Trixie is very near and dear, I must express my unfying thanks for posting such a work.
This is so beautiful. ;-;
Well written. I have a heart of ice, and rarily cry.
However this one did it
well done.
4107386 Wow, that sounds pretty intense! Psyching yourself into a character? Dude, that's awesome. And thank you so very much! That was very kind.
4107399 Aww, thank you!
4107407 Thanks! That's quite an honour then.
The popular stories list doesn't have places--it's just a pool of stories and the order is randomized (try it yourself; refreshing the page also randomizes the display order)
I ... Thank you for making this. Normally I just say what need to be fixed or how amazing it is but what Trixie said hit home. That is the same thing that I thought when I was tempted almost word for word. Their is no way to say or type what I feel right now so I say again, thank you for this storey.
4107894 Yeah, I realize that. It was just startling seeing it up there anyways even though it isn't any great honor.
4107911 Wow, thank you for such a wonderful comment!
I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
4108176 Aww, thank you!
4108579 I know, right?
cdn.smosh.com/sites/default/files/ftpuploads/bloguploads/feels-bro-shutup.jpg
You sir are a glorious writer, well done.
4108706 (I'm a lady, but sir is okay too
) Thank you very much! I'm so stunned by all these kind comments!
This was so sad
I can't even try to cry since I read this at school, but nevertheless, still sad. I also have a feeling I recognize your profile name...... meh, I don't know. Anyway, like and fav from me 
I don't cry, literally (sociopathic apathy tends to do that) After reading this, I wanted to cry.
This was so short, yet it is so heavy. I'm not ashamed to admit that I cried and that I'm actually glad, it's just one more reminder that I'm still human. With the way my mind works and how I see the world, I thought I lost my humanity. But it's thanks to stories like this as well as MLP FiM that allow me to find it again, even if it's just for a fleeting moment.
So Thank You. . .
My biggest complaint with this piece is the gun. I just always find the idea of hoofed quadrupeds making and using guns a ridiculous notion. Other than that, It was a pretty good bit of story.
I...that was beautiful.
Like, fave, follow.
You deserve them, good sir/ma'am.
Wow. This was absolutely AMAZING to read. Such a powerful feels trip right there.
Also, I love how excited you are about just hitting the popular box. You probably haven't yet realized that you hit featured. You probably will have by the time you read this, but oh well. Congrats on the feature, you totally deserve it!
My only problem with this -- and it may be an unrealistic one based on the conventions of drama -- is that we never actually learn why Trixie was unhappy beyond a generalized belief that she was a failure. Was something specific going on in her life, or is this just depression? I can think of canon reasons for her to be unhappy, and others from fanon, but I wish she'd described her specific reason in the suicide note.
4108912 In a fanfiction called "Let it Go" by Sergeant Pepperton, Trixie's mother discourages her for her lack of magical ability. I would suppose that after a childhood of verbal abuse and being told that you're worthless can create a huge impact on someone's future.
I know its been said hundreds of times but this story was moving and frankly I do not get emotional, at all really, and this made me cry. Maybe because I sympathise with the character or maybe because it was just written really well.
Fave like and a follow cause you deserve them for this masterpiece.
Congratulations on getting featured, your story really deserved it!
dude, i'm fighting back tears after reading this. that doesn't happen much when i read sadfics. just thought i should share that.
that aside, amazing story my fine writer.
Me feels
4108815 Aww, thank you!
Haha, sneaky school reading is the best. Hmm... I wonder where that familiarity could be from?
4108840 Youb are most welcome and thank you for reading this. It may sound unlikely, but I know exactly how you feel! I've been worried about finding it difficult to love my dogs... I felt like a robot. But when I cry, I know I'm human.
4108857 Yeah, I thought about that too. My headcanon is the first gun was created by a unicorn (in Equestria, at least) and was intended to be wielded with magic. Thanks anyway!
4108863 Aww, thank you so much! That means more to me than you can imagine.
4108873 Thank you~ you guys are all so sweet. It was certainly a wonderful way to come home from a boring day of school. I never dreamed of getting featured!
4108912 That is definitely a valid point and I thank you fro sharing your opinion in a kind and respectful manner! It's great to have mature people like you give constructive criticism. I'll keep something like that in mind for future projects.
4109262 Very interesting point, yes!
4109277 Oh my goodness! Thank you so much.
Words cannot express how thankful I am. Everyone is being so wonderful and sweet!
4109310 Thank you! It was a wonderful surprise!
4109457 Aww, thanks~ Don't find the tears, let it go~
4109691
Sorry.
Short, but it hit me right in the gut. Trixie's my favorite character, so it hit doubly-hard for me. And like 4106838 I too have been affected by suicide.
4109937 Aww, sorry about hurting your fave character. Trixie's really awesome and deserves more love! And though it's none of my business, I am so sorry to hear about your encounter with suicide! It's a tough ordeal, I know.
There is not enough tears to express how much this story... There just now right word to describe it.
I applaud.
4109950 Aww, thank you!
That's very kind. Thanks for the watch!
Not quite to tears, but I certainly felt it. I've had only one or two stories that I can remember of have make me cry.
The mention of guns tripped me up a bit because I personally like to think of Equestria with only simple weaopns, which is ironic because I'm a military junkie and have pondered deeply on how more more modern pony weapons would function. But enough about my opinions! Still a great story, fantastic job. Have a like bruh.
4109760 I just remembered. I thought it was the same person, but it wasnt. I was thinking of ViolaDreamCatcher.
4110141 That is a fair point you make about guns in Equestria. I hesitated about putting it in there, but I don't feel it is a large enough cause of controversy to completely remove it. Thank you very much, broham.
4110142 Ah, I see!
I like this.
+1 Like