Twilight has to go away on important business & is unable to take Spike with her. Worried Spike might get hurt while she's gone, has her boyfriend Flash Sentry babysit him, and well, let's just say somepony else would make a much better sitter. I mean really? Running around a construction site?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I'm sorry about your step-mum and whatever, but that doesn't change the fact that I don't think this story is very well-written. A few sections were hilarious, such as Spike giving Flash advice on how to get some o' dat and the 'WHERE IS ADULT SUPERVISION WHEN YOU NEED IT, HUH?', but overall I felt it lacking in… almost everything. While it's an adorable shipping and she's awesome as a character, Applebloom's drawl was very clumsily written and a pain to read. But, I understand that you had to write it out tediously on a PlayStation 3, so I expect you just wanted it over with. 3/10
P.S OhmigoshpleasedonthatemeitsallconstructivecritisismIswear
Twilight's goes overprotective like Applejack on Apple Bloom.
Twilight's barren? They could go at it for a full week.
Spike's new crush? Gotta be one of the CMCs
I was expecting Sweetie Belle as Spike's new crush but that good too.
Dude, you're about to be hit by the biggest shit storm in your life so far. RIP
Your description made me think of The Fairly Odd Parents. It does need some work, but good job.
11/10 best fan fic na