• Member Since 14th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

silvadel


E

A secret has been kept from Scootaloo, but she has a plan to learn the answer. She won't like the ramifications.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 25 )

Looking good, Silva! Glad I could be of at least a little help, and feel free to yell whenever if you need me again.
Love the open ending. Lets readers come up with whatever they decide, whether it be good or bad.

4007861

Yep, thanks muchly for the pre-read. Always good when someone volunteers for such.

4008100

Was not planning on it. This was conceived as a one shot. Actually, I enjoyed doing a one-shot for once. (no luna icon hrm) There shall be more of them.

I was kinda surprised. Might need the sad tag. Still liked it though.

Nice story. Short, high-impact, and works well as first-person.

Personally, though, I'd enjoy it more with an ending.

Adventure tag

You are a liar. This is the definition of sad.

4009313

It has feels but I really did not think it was "sad." It really did not fit any of the tags, but a story needs at least one tag. The one that was least appalling to me was the adventure tag. It is an adventure of self-discovery and a plan gone right that led her down a journey towards her only hope of flying.

robertreviewsstuff.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/cliffhanger-1.gif

Also, on an unrelated note: when Sweetie Belle first used her magic, did anyone else immediately think she was a changeling?! XD After that I just figured it matches her eyes so meh. =P

Interesting story, ambiguous enough of an ending for us to think that it could go either way

4008129 Could you at least tell us if it worked?

UIs she okay or did she....

4010017

Yes, I have wondered that myself at times. I mean how many other ponies have we seen have green magic?

4010664 Well, there was Flim and Flam who had green.

4011441

That still doesn't exactly provide a rousing approval of green magic, but yes it seems they did. Traveling salespony would be a good disguise for a changeling though.

It also stated that the procedure was ill-advised as it had a 20% fatality rate.

While still dangerous, is doesn´t seems a high percent.

4011817

True but it shows a definite change in the way pegasi treated life, and life treated ponies.

It was necessary for the pegasi to fly a long time ago -- to the point where such a risk was tolerated.

In current times it is NOT considered necessary. A grounded pegasus can live a life, and to risk death for flight in the current pony society is looked at as not justified.

Interesting to leave it opened ended. It was a nice idea, but I feel like it was rather short, and could have benefited from being fleshed out a lot more.

Still, good job. :twilightsmile:

DJRD

4012113

I considered that when writing it, but adding things tended to weaken it. I had the option of making it a bit longer and the initial estimate that I made when it had 400 words was around 2000 words total.

It also stated that the procedure was ill-advised as it had a 20% fatality rate.

80% chance of survival? I think those odds may be better then some real life surgical procedures. :twilightoops:

What are the odds of the procedure of working for the survivors?

Still it is an enjoyable story. Although I was left wanting more I do understand that there is virtually no more story left to tell. Only a note to say what the outcome of the procedure is.

4012220

If she survives, she flies. It is very unusual for a pegasus not to be able to. There is no significant percentage of minor fails.

4012130 Some of it seemed to be rushed somewhat in my eyes. But if you think it works best like this than no qualms there :pinkiesmile:

quite inetresting.

okay, that kinda hurt. seeing scoots like that. i honestly thought, judging from the image, scoots was gonna learn twi was her mum or soemthing like that. this hurt, man. i can't even bring myself to use the pony faces for this.

please, make one more chapter where we find everything out. even if scoots ends up dead, that at least will give us some closure on what happened to her after the potion.

I really want to favorite this story, since despite its short length, the emotions that were there were powerful...
But I can't, since I feel that the ending was too open ended.

Given presumed better health and hygiene in modern day Equestria compared to 700 years ago, I would expect there to be a lower than 20% chance of fatality, closer to maybe 10%, unless being a purely magical cure it somehow ignores stuff like better nutrition and the like and is just a flat-out 20% fatality rate regardless of any extenuating factors.

I suppose for Scoots though, flight truly is the one thing that matters most to her, perhaps more than her Cutie Mark. She certainly took it rather hard when DT mocked her in Flight to the Finish.

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