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Following the events of "Wonderbolt Academy," Lightning Dust reveals to Spitfire the real reason behind her recklessness and is given another chance to become a Wonderbolt. However, will Rainbow Dash and the other cadets accept her new outlook?
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promising
3e21q§ Looks good!
A promising start you have!
Some sections feel a bit explanation heavy and dialogue could be worked on to feel a little more natural, but I'll follow for now and see what happens.
Now this is what friendship is suppose to be.
....rushed. Bumpy. Good concept, technical execution is great, but the depth of examination goes from philosophical to childish and back again without any warning. There isn't really any analysis, the only character development happens just before the story starts, so... yeah.
4450148 Don't worry now. I'm continuing the story starting today.
Congrats for getting featured!
Look at the bright side Dust. At least your Dizzitron go didn't end like this...
http://mcwopper.deviantart.com/art/Dizzitron-failure-343178272
5947539 LOL!
5946994 Thank You.
5948126 well, they are just figments of her imagination, hallucinations if you will?
Well. Dust's brothers are finally gonna get what's been coming to them for so long.
Give 'em both hell, Spitfire!
This chapter needs some serious editing. I'm not going to read the rest of the story unless there's a good introduction.
5952604 Oh, don't worry. She does in the next chapter, just you wait.
5953041 Unfortunately Jarkes, some people can be like that. Look at Angelica Pickles from Rugrats, she would do plenty of these just because she thinks that she is superior to Tommy and the other babies.
5953907 Good.
Ooooo, possible TO THE MOOOOOOONAAAA~ Just kidding but hey, would be interesting!
What they did was not only disgusting but sexist.
If Rainbow help Lightning Dust then maybe she can help Gilda as well.
It may just be me, but Tartarus (AKA Hell) may be a bit much for his crimes, a true prison would be a better location for ponies of his type. At least in my eyes
5970202 Unless if there is another jail seen in Equestria (not counting the one in Appleloosa), then Tartarus it is.
Pegasus 1: "Man, I'd kill somepony to be a Wonderbolt!"
Pegasus 2: "Apparently that's the way to do it now."
Pegasus 1: "...What?"
Pegasus 2: "Well, okay, maybe not actually kill them. Just like, try and kill them."
Pegasus 1: "You kidding me, man?"
Pegasus 2: "Nope. Happened twice so far."
5971231 ah, so more like a Super prison then. Okay, makes more sense.
Thanks!
5971252 Go ahead, just give me credit for the brothers' names.
5971231 Indeed, think of it as like ADX Supermax in Florence, CO.
Nice braveheart reference there :)
Interesting. I'll continue to read.
A nice and interesting story. Have a like.
>>twilightsparkle3562
I've read it on fanfiction as well. Nice story and well done.
Excellent work I loved it 10/10!!
NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!
Quite interesting, liked and followed.
Can there be a sequel or would that be too much to ask? I wanna see what happens next
It is a bit messy here but i enjoy it