This is officially a Dishonored/My Little Pony crossover.
Princess Celestia, Luna, Cadance, and Twilight Sparkle are all rulers of Equestria. Rulers of a country that is often considered the most luxurious of the bunch. Before the plague, it was a thriving nation bent on creating, perfecting, and enduring the meaning of harmony. And attaining the mantle as the wealthiest nation in the world.
Yes, Equestria was something that even made many other wealthy countries cringe. That was all before the advancement of the plague from a not so great Continent; Europoniea. From there, that was the real end of the golden era for Equestria.
Suddenly you were filled with endless cries of agony, riots in Manehatten, lawless cities like Seaddle, and once rich towns like Dodge Junction. Bodies of ponies started to mount up, and ponies from all over started to shun the princesses.
Like as Celestia says, later becoming famous for quoting publicly; "Blame the rats, blame those putrid rats."
Authors note: I have officially written a crossover, don't be mad that this is based off a really successful game with a brilliant story.
The first thing I thought when I read the title of this story...
31.media.tumblr.com/99cc707eb39ade42ff350057a26ea385/tumblr_inline_n0rbm8m3k41qdep68.gif
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So...you liked it...or?
Also, thanks for referencing it as a Disney movie.
.......seriously. celestia blaming the rats? she has ruled a millenia and she never hd to del with plagues before?
Dat art though...
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Her age actually is very off-beat, though some think she has lived for thousands while others say that she lived over a million. Then you have someone like Lauren Faust who states that Celestia only lived about a thousand years in total.
So, really, her age is non-canon. And to me she is simply there for the story.
Did you like it though?
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Surprised, eh? I know, I couldn't believe it looked a perfect fit for the story.
3960034 not really. largely my problem was not her age and more how long she has ruled. she has had to deal with plagues before, be able to deal with this one too.
... Hmm interesting. Though are you going to continue calling them watch Men or try and come up with something a bit more immersive(helps the reader stay into the story)?
Also, wouldn't magical discovery involve mage lights(magical crystals that Light in the dark)? I mean I can understand Whale Oil lamps that can be used cheaply. Just a few Questions to put on you're mind.
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Highly doubt it, while the show mixes and blends human history with pony fiction, you have to understand that probably the most "plague" that they have encountered was those fruit bats, or, well the bats aren't really in sync with the context, but what I'm saying is if there was a plague before this, then it would have been at least mentioned in the show as a throwaway line.
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Alright dude, thanks for the tip! I didn't even know this mage lights...
I will definitely find a way to slip it in there, basically, I didn't know that existed. I only that magic could potentially be used for something more than just to zap things.
Your comment shall be noted.
Could you possibly explain this mage lights...
3960179
Nah, I had a better title in mind. Watch Men just seems a bit personal, I wanted something more formal for the story.
Got any tips?
Hmm. I'm currently playing Dishonored right now, and I love the game to bits, but it must be said, I'm having difficulty seeing Celestia and Luna as you've portrayed them. They really aren't in-character in line with canon, but I figure that was your intention. Even so. I've seen Tyrantlestias and Celestias where the motherly affection was all a heartless farce work much better than this. She and Luna aren't looking much like the chessmasters I think you're trying to portray them as. They're acting like snobbish and partially drunk teenagers that just so happen to be the immortal rulers of a country.
I understand what you're working up to here - there's an assassination, Twilight Sparkle is killed, and somebody (Rarity, judging by the cover art) takes the fall. However, in Dishonored, there was a reason things played out like they did. Hiram Burrows ordered the Empress's death because he had imported the plague rats, and with Jessamine placing pressure on him to investigate the matter, he knew that his culpability would eventually be uncovered. Furthermore, if he was at the top of the food chain, he could prevent anyone else from getting close to the truth of the matter. Here, Celestia and Luna really have no reason for this little... coup? Fit of pique? They're already in absolute, unquestioned power. They have nothing to hide. I can't understand their motives, other than petty anger at Twilight for not being a total dick. As it is, it just looks very out of character, and I'm having difficulty getting into it.
Also, I'm not sure the whales need to be brought into Equestria at all. It's a defining part of Dunwall's setting, certainly, but Equestria's so, well, Equestria. Obviously the plague's going to make the happy fluffiness take a sharp downward turn, but whaling before the mess went down doesn't fit very well, unless you're warping the setting into an AU - which might be necessary, but I really think you could pull this story off with a (starting) canon Equestria. And technomagic would work fine for the Sokolov devices. Ponies aren't very violent creatures - they'd see killing living creatures for profit as abominable.
Now, I'm not saying this is how the story should be done, or to rethink your call here. But if I were to attempt this fusion, I'd pick Blueblood for the role of Burrows - the poverty-eradication plan fits him so hard it hurts. Celestia is the motherly and benevolent ruler that everyone loves, just like Jessamine, so I'd have Celestia be the one assassinated. It's a pretty perfect fit, possibly the best equivalence there is between the settings - she's adored, she's gentle in her rulings, Equestria has flourished under her (up until recently), and her death will rattle the populace like nothing else. Either Luna is also assassinated, or she unwittingly falls into Blueblood's plans by believing his spin on the events - in this case, she becomes the sole raiser of the sun and moon, and this (alongside her grief) has strained her; she's barely a public figure anymore, just existing for the celestial cycle's stability. (Bonus points to the setting if she has trouble doing it - nights can stretch too long and times are off-schedule, creating a further sense of panic and instability. Less light also means more rats; the plague rats dislike light.) Princess Cadence is kidnapped, and Twilight is the one who takes the blame. Like Corvo to Jessamine, she was very close to Celestia, and it gives the 'betrayal' that same hideously decried scandal that easily inflames the public. Blueblood becomes Equestria's ruler as de facto royalty (either in absence of princesses or because the remaining princess is just a fixture of keeping the world running; I prefer the latter). Twilight Sparkle goes to prison, tortured relentlessly for six months while the headsman's block looms (an uncommon punishment in Equestria, but nopony will argue that the circumstances don't call for it.) Maybe Twilight gets her horn chopped off at the outset, maybe she doesn't. I'd lean towards yes, for the following point...
The Outsider? Discord. I love the Outsider, I really do, but Discord fits this so well for Equestria, especially if he hasn't been redeemed and is still in stone. He's hated, he's feared, he's not understood. And he wants amusement. He marks her; he gives her strange and frightening powers she doesn't understand. But it's either use them or die. And in a world where he's the only one on her side...
Well, there's a lot to go from there. I'd go with the removed horn (even clipped wings) because Twilight's normal skillset would render a lot of the sneaking action moot. The teleports in particular need to go. She (re)gains the ability to do short range line-of-sight teleports, of course, but being able to teleport right up to her targets and immediately return to her ride out would not make for a good story. And she does have a spell that's pretty effectively a tier 2 Bend Time already. What I'm trying to get at is, If she had other magic, she wouldn't have to rely on the Mark (or its equivalent), and it also has the potential to put a spanner in the story's action. As for the Mark's powers, I think everything Corvo could do is pretty perfect - largely because a lot of them go against her morals. Summoning plague rats? Possession? Ah, delicious inner conflict.
The Loyalists are a tricky point, because Twilight has friends, and Corvo's backstory was a blank slate. Either her friends believe Blueblood's version of events and they detest her, or they're secretly on her side, knowing that she'd have died for Celestia if given the chance. The thing is, if the Loyalists are played straight, they have to be allies, but not emotionally attached to her, like the Elements of Harmony or her brother would be. Because, well. The plot. Of course, a crossover doesn't need to be played through exactly the way the game was, but I thought that was a pretty big part of the story. The Loyalists might be nobles, military. I could definitely see Shining Armor involved in it, but if things were played straight, he... probably wouldn't survive to the end of the story. Blueblood's allies, meanwhile - there aren't a lot of in-show characters that really fit the bill here, so you'd probably need to make OCs. I can't get the idea of Flim and Flam as the Lords Pendleton out of my head, though. Perhaps they rose to honorary nobility by creating and distributing anti-rat devices? Cadence doesn't make a very good Emily, but unfortunately there's really no Corvo-Emily equivalent for Twilight, so the role itself will have to change. Still, her importance is what matters, not any mother/daughter or child/protector relationship they have. The Loyalists had Emily rescued because she's the rightful heir to the throne. In this case, with Celestia dead, Luna dead/barely functioning, and Twilight's name dragged through the mud, she is Equestria's heir to the throne, simply by being an alicorn. Like... I see Rarity on the cover art. To make a guess - Sweetie Belle's her Emily. And Sweetie Belle makes a wonderful Emily in terms of behavior, but not in terms of plot, because she's not essential or vital or even remotely important in the stakes of Equestria's power game. Cadence is not an Emily in terms of behavior, but she is a point of interest. Were you to choose a different Corvo than Twilight, Twilight Sparkle herself would make an even better Emily, as the most clear successor of Celestia (and also the youngest and inexperienced of the alicorns.)
...and, well. I really didn't mean that as a 'this is how you should do this'. I guess this idea has intrigued me more than I thought, if I'm going to spend an hour writing about this. I'm actually pretty stoked now.
I can see the prologue now. Twilight is returning from a diplomatic journey to the many nations of the world, seeking help with the plague - something Celestia assigned to her personally, as experience for ruling. The rest of the nations, however, responded with fear and blockades as Equestria's situation deteriorated, and Twilight is pretty shaken about her failure, as well as distraught - why would anypony act like that? Why would they be so cruel when ponies needed help? (Oh, how she's about to learn!) In any case, Cadence rushes forward to welcome her back, and they do their little greeting. Her friends are waiting for her in the castle, but she has to see her mentor first and give her the bad news. Blueblood is with Celestia, advising that the plagued ponies be quarantined and hunted down. Celestia reacts to that just as Jessamine did. And... that's where it falls apart in my head, because I don't know who Daud would be. This requires more thought.
One last thing - you might wish to double check your writing. The quality itself is good enough, but I'm spotting a lot of errors that could easily be avoided and bits that could be worded better, even just by scanning the synopsis (no one seems to take it them very seriously anymore; Like as Celestia says; Suddenly you were filled with endless cries of agony)
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Dude...
No words can ever describe what I just read.
You literally blew my plan out of proportion. Clearly you must be a big fan of this game, and the overall series, I love it believe me, but what drew me towards it was the plague and that was what I wanted to write about.
I simply love your suggestion better, I'm taking it. I'm taking it and chucking mine out. I'm going to write this for you, just as for me also.
The whole thing about worrying that your suggestion might be redundant is pathetic because it blows mine a million miles back. I love it, I want to write it.
Originally, I wanted to show what Celestia and Luna act behind the scenes when they aren't in public. But this is much more revised.
I'm going to write it in this format.
Yes, the grammar could be better, I knew it myself, just that I really wanted to make this because seeing how no one else has done it, I wanted to be the first. Don't worry, I will fix it. Just how big are the errors?
I re-read the message again and I'm understanding it more thoroughly.
Blueblood in secret, imports the plague through the rats on several ships outside of the country, and Celestia wants the culprit found and tried for their damage. He gets her assassinated, takes Luna under his wing (no pun intended) and be's by her side while she mourns, but before doing so, Cadance is kidnapped and Twilight is blamed for it. So Twilight and Cadance out of the picture, Luna's role already diminished to just bringing the sun and moon up during both parts of the day, Blueblood assumes full control. And Twilight is sent to prison.
Love it already, I really, really do.
There is the matter of the "Underworld" a place that I started back on my first fic that I've kept cannon through every story I released. It gives it a feel that all my stories are in some shape or form connected.
Twilight's horn and wings are brutally chopped, and Discord soon becomes her mentor, giving her the mark since he has so much mystery to his persona.
Her friends are mixed believers of Blueblood, despite his cold ways. Some believe, while others cling to the hope of Twilight Sparkle.
The Loyalist thing does hold extreme amounts of clarity for the overall story progression, so they have to be in there. I think Shining should be a part of them, but as for playing straight for them is sketchy, I could play some parts pretty natural to the video game itself. But having them betray her seems a little forced, but it would be a lot more fun to write about, at least for me. So I'll see what I could do.
As for Rarity being the main character....look it wasn't my choice, the picture clearly shows her, and I couldn't have any other way to make it as if she wasn't the main character. I could probably tag it somewhere that she works for "Daud" (whomever shall that be, you should help me with that), probably after she lost most of her fortunes and is left homeless until either these secret cult of assassins call out to her or something. Remember how Daud likes to choose people that are in some fatal or rundown state because he believes that they can reclaim some pride by killing other bad guys. It could be something like that, because the whole Sweetie Belle as Emily gig sounds pretty dumb.
The whole Cadance being the next heir works best, at least since we can't have Twilight Sparkle in the mix. Tell me, how could we make it so Twilight Sparkle is the "Corvo" of this story, what should I do about the cover-art?
The prologue is perfect, solid, and quite thoroughly good at doing the game justice, in my opinion.
The thing is, though.
I want to write the story, you see? If you don't like that I will be using your own ideas, than I can't do it justice, but if you allow me, than I will see that it is done right because I want to see an actual completed Dishonored/Pony crossover.
I wouldn't mind you suggesting ideas for me, and helping me fit the pieces, but can you understand that I'm writing the story, and I will also pen my ideas to it also. I was thinking of having a rape scene ensue when Twilight is in prison.
So? Would you want to be my co-author?
I will follow you, and you can follow back if you desire to do as such.
I love Dishonored, great setting, great story, great world build up and a powerful feeling of how sick the world can be if we let it. I might not know the full story to full detail, but I do have over a 1,000 gamerscore in the game if that helps in superiority.
Thank you, man. This is going to be TEN times better than it was originally meant to be. I have a lot of faith in this fic now.
I hope I hear from you soon.
So, what should I do about the first chapter? Just delete it and re-start with the penned prologue you got there?
Oh, wow! Thank you! I'm honored (heh). That was just me rambling and rather getting carried away with the idea, because I've been looking for a crossover like this for a while. No idea that you'd actually be interested in it.
I'm actually just finishing the Brigmore Witches now. I got Dishonored for Christmas, and I've finished it four times since then, from a few different angles. I adore the story. I could just roll around in the setting. Corvo and Emily are just aaaaaaaaaaaa and the Outsider is a whole 'nother kind of aaaaaa, and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa overall. Much aaaaaa.
Co-author is a bit hefty, since I'm probably not going to be able to be that active. I read pony fanfic a lot, and I write fic, but I don't really watch the show, and I've never written anything pony, although I'd say I have a good grasp on the characters. I'd be happy to serve as your think tank, and listen to ideas you have. I... can tentatively volunteer to beta for you? I'm currently in college, so my time is a bit fritzy, but I am interested. Be warned, though - I've never betaed before, mostly because of my tendency to rephrase everything. (Or I can just read the work, fix immediate grammatical errors, and leave annotations or thoughts around.)
If you're going to change the story, you may as well remove the first chapter; but I'd do that once you have your 'next' first chapter up. The prologue - well, it needs to be written out. If you do so, show me, and tell me what level of editing you want me to do. I'll do my thing and hand it back to you.
Now, I'm liking what I'm hearing, although you'll have to tell me more about the Underworld. (If it's underground, certainly there's a lot to do with the sewers in Dishonored.) Now, with Rarity - you could really just leave that as the cover art, because it's thematic, and let's face it, it's great. (Also, it's got Hiram-Blueblood.) As long as it's in the description who the 'Corvo' is, there's really no confusion. You could also commission something more customised if you get a bunch of followers*, or simply find another piece of art, but I really do like that picture. I'm not sure any of the EoH really fit with Daud if you're playing Equestria straight, though. A part of me is thinking something with Changelings for Daud, but that's probably an aesthetically-based thought because all of the Whalers look the same suited up. :P
Not so certain about the rape thing in prison. The guards might abuse her, and she's very, very much hated, but... I don't know, to me, I feel like that's just being a bit try-hard for grimdarkness, if you'll forgive me. I don't know, you could bounce the idea around other people and see how it goes, but I'm not a particular fan. The severity of her situation is really emphasized enough with the torture.
As for making Twilight the Corvo - well, I think you've already got the gist of it. Framed, prison, breakout, mask, Mark. Bada bing. Discord isn't so much a mentor as a mysterious dream-figure who gives her freaky powers and taunts her at inopportune times. He makes it quite clear that he doesn't care if she wins or loses - he just wants a good show.
The Loyalists don't have to be traitors. Just because it's a crossover/fusion/parallel fic doesn't mean everything has to be exactly the same. In any case, Cadence isn't the same helpless Emily that... well, Emily was, so having her kidnapped again and bundled off doesn't seem terribly likely. I could contrive a few reasons for her to still be at low power, but it's just as plausible that she isn't.
*Actually, this co-writing thing does sound rather nice. I do have a lot of experience with fanfiction, albeit not finishing it (my profile on ffn is the same name as I have here). And I notice there's a lot more pony interest than any of the fandoms I do write for. However, I do have a lot of my time eaten up, so I'd be restricted to editing your work whenever you want it looked at. Or embellishing it. We can try, and see how it works out?
Obviously, you'd post it. It's your story, not mine, and I'm content to just be a watcher on fimfiction anyway. As long as you mention me, if I do end up doing some co-writing. At the risk of sounding conceited, I think I'm a pretty decent writer - don't be afraid of me messing up your stuff, as you have the final say anyway.
One thing, though. The continent is totes Pondyssia. Or Ponydyssia. I... hm. Given that it's the rough equivalent of Victorian-era Europe's idea of Africa and Australia kind of mixed up, I suppose you could also substitute it for the homeland of the Zebras? Or not. (Zebryssia? heh, I have no idea. Maybe Zecora's the one who knows how to make one of the elixirs - either Sokolov's or Piero's.)
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The Underworld is a complete transition from another video game called Condemned, and Condemned 2.
Both are viscous games, and these two trailers can prove it.
Imagine a dystopian city with the law barely holding by a thread, and the government corrupted on both ends? That is Condemned, but I'll elaborate.
Imagine a city that has people all bent on crime for no apparent reason, imagine apartment complex's in rural areas covered in this black gooey stuff. Imagine the government barely holding it's end with deranged people that used to nurse their families at home before succumbing to anger, rage, psychosis, drugs and paranoia for no legitimate reason? And while this all happens, imagine the underground of the city, the sewers, the infestation that is slowly engulfing this city into it's own demented play-thing. While the police, and government fight and repel against riots, rapes, murders, and poverty. Down below, down into the depths of the city, something far more sinister lies there. Infected individuals bent on tearing and ripping through flesh and born all the while of senselessly killing one another.
That is what I can describe my Underworld as. A place filled with the most brutaliest and the most deranged individuals. Not necessary all bad, but the Underworld that lays below Canterlot is almost lawless unless the Royal guard absolutely have to go down there.
3963189 Hm. I'm not sure that really fits with the pre-existing 'canon' Equestria - I feel a lot of this story's potential appeal is that it really doesn't warp Equestria beforehand, simply sticks it in a terrible situation and watches the chaos unfold. Would you consider making the Underworld something that formed after the plague? As things deteriorated aboveground, or - ooh! Okay, so Equestria doesn't necessarily have a Flooded District, does it? Blueblood can order the royal guards to dump infected individuals and criminals (because I doubt Equestria has very large prisons, and at a time like this, crime skyrockets) into the sewers and subterrane. Bam. Your Underworld develops.
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That is good. That is perfect. Bam! You made this even better, I'm just happy that we could something of my own creation, albeit I still copied Condemned, but overall this Underworld enveloping in sewers and subterranean is most astonishing.
Great!
Also, I'm drawing an outline right now for the basis of how each chapter should progress. I'm in class right now, but I will write it up and send you the pre-production stages of how this story should commence.
It's great that this is actually happening.
Thank you! I'm glad my random idea-spewing is useful to you. :3
I'm working on a bit of C++ code right now, but after that, I am absolutely free for the day, so when I'm not beating up Delilah in Brigmore Witches, I'll be happy to do some writing and revisions.
By the way, I was wondering - how does the Mark appear on Twilight? Is it a mark on her hoof? Does it manifest as a replacement horn, jagged and twisted? Her Cutie Mark? (After all, as Discord would gleefully point out, she hardly represents magic and friendship anymore, now that she's as loathed as he is and her precious horn has been snapped like a twig)
Alright. Let's see where this goes.
Are you going to continue this? I love it.
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Yep, I am, I'm still on the second chapter as we speak, though I'm planning on changing events from the first chapter soon. So, you know, I'm working on it.
Congrats, your story has been officially added to the Dishonored group.
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Thanks!
a few errors, but nothing too massive. the story would be made a lot clearer if you said "whales" instead of "wales" as that is the only really confusing mistake.
good story overall, can't wait to see future chapters!
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Thanks.
5383215 Anytime.
Um... why does Rarity look like a Banette? In the cover art.
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I didn't make it. The cover-art is of less importance in reality, as I had another character planned for the role, and not Rarity.
5424594 Yeah, I know. I just wanna know why Rarity looks like a Banette.
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Yeah, not too sure myself, honestly. It's kinda cool, though.
Sad this didn't go anywhere.
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You're telling me and I wrote the darn thing so many years ago. Hard to fathom people still wanna see something out of my stories
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I know that feeling.