Chapter 3: Ice Cream Mood-Swings
Her legs ached. Her head hurt. It caused her unbearable amounts of pain simply to keep her eyes open. But all of this was nothing compared to the unbearable pain in her heart.
She didn’t know what to do. Here entire life depended on the blue mare, if only for a day. But now, she couldn’t imagine life without her. Fresh tears poured from Cheerilee’s eyes, she didn’t mind, they had been doing that for the past few hours. The world outside was no dark and cold.
How fitting, Cheerilee thought bitterly.
What now? She’d have to quit her job, there’s no point in a teacher being depressed, the kids already don’t listen to her. She could stay inside all day, never leave her houses walls. Better for her to wallow in misery rather than leave her home and spread depression amongst the other ponies, especially considering she looked like this again.
She looked back at her teenage self.
Hmph, and ponies always wish they were younger. Ohhhh…why’d I have to get this STUPID mane cut?
Cheerilee stood up and began walking toward her kitchen, her hooves dragging along the wooden floor. She opened her modest sized refrigerator, and reached for the freezer drawer. Opening it, she loosed a blast of cold air onto her face, calming her only slightly. She grabbed a half gallon of vanilla ice cream. Walking toward the stairs she stopped to grab a spoon from a nearby drawer.
"What'th the point, anyway?" Cheerilee whined to herself. She entered her bedroom and dropped on her bed unceremoniously. She pulled open the paper tub and began to spoon the delicious cream into her mouth. It was certainly a conflicted experience, her overwhelming sadness bringing tears to her eyes while the sugary cream sent her brain waves of guilty pleasure.
"I'll never find thomepony like her ever again! My life hath no meaning!" She sobbed, taking another spoon of delicious vanilla, "You know what? I'm glad I won't thee her again, she'th jutht a BITCH! Who the needth her!" Suddenly she started to feel happy about her life, "I'll be over it in a week or tho, everthying'th going to be the thame, better even!"
"...who am I kidding? Without Trickthie my life ith meaningleth..."
"Buck Trickthie, the can just go and DIE for all I care!"
"Everything ith going to be amathing. I'll be a whole new mare!"
"..oh...Trickthie. Why must you do thith to me...?"
"Wait a minute..." Cheerilee looked down at the carton she had absent-mindedly been feeding herself from. It was empty.
"That'th weird. I haven't done that thinth...oh, thinth High Thchool."
Apparently, more than just my appearance has receded to that of a teenager, now I have to deal with these feelings. Buck you Trixie!! I love you, you Bitch!
Her mood swings were interrupted by the ring of her doorbell.
"Cheerilee, are you home, it's...it's Trixie..."
Cheerilee stomped down her staircase and opened the door, glaring at the blue mare on the other side, she now lacked her red amulet.
"What the hell do you want?"
"Trixie supposes she deserves that," she looked down at her hooves, taking the full brunt of Cheerilee's insult.
"May Trixie come in please?"
Cheerilee begrudgingly opened the door to her house and walked into the living room, which consisted of two couches facing each other from other side of a wooden coffee table. The earth pony laid down on one couch, while she let Trixie take the other. The unicorn mare sighed to herself.
"Trixie came to...apologize. She was simply acting awful,"
"You're damn right you were, now if you're really thorry, thang change me back thith thecond!"
"Sorry, but because of the Amulet, Trixie's magic still isn't working well," Trixie won't be able to change you for a few hours, she can at least do this, though," With a flash of her horn Cheerilee felt her mouth become lighter.
"Hmph," Cheerilee scowled, "I don't have to accept what you say, you know." She was surprised to find her lisp gone.
Trixie nodded, "That makes sense, after what Trixie said and did under the influence of the Alicorn Amulet, but she begs you please, please forgive her?"
"Why do you care about my forgiveness?"
"I-I, Trixie doesn't want you angry at her..."
Wait, was she blushing? Cheerilee looked closer. She could see a pink tinge spreading across the base of Trixie's muzzle.
"And why is that?" Cheerilee asked.
"Because, Trixie...um...I..."
Cheerilee pointed a hoof to herself, "Trxie, do you...like me...?"
"Tri...I'm not sure..." Cheerilee got up off the couch so that she stood in front of Trixie.
"Because well, I sort of- I mean," Cheerilee threw her forelegs around Trixie's neck. "I like you."
Trixie's eyes widened in shock, "Y-you do?"
"Mmmhmm, ever since I first saw you on stage."
"But why? Trixie was an arrogant and foalish pony at the time."
"Maybe, but you looked so beautiful, and had such great confidence. You weren't afraid to be yourself, even if you were a little self centered."
"So, you really like me?"
Cheerilee answered with a sweet kiss on the blue mare's cheek, "I don't think 'like' does it justice," Thank you, Ardent!
Trixie smiled at the magenta mare, "I like your mane, it's very cute,"
"Don't get used to it, It's leaving the second I can get rid of it."
Both mare's giggled, suddenly meeting eye to eye.
Trixie suddenly realized how close their muzzles were, making her blush a deep crimson. Cheerilee who was blushing herself, smiled. She began to lean in, and closed the distance between their lips.
The kiss only lasted so many seconds, but it felt like an eternity to the mares involved, and if either where capable, it would have lasted forever. But sadly it had to end, but it wouldn't be their last, nor their only.
"I love you, Trixie"
"I love you, too,"
Cheerilee walked around and laid an the couch next to the beautiful mare she had admired for so long, slowly she nuzzled herself against Trixie's chest and wrapped her forelegs around her middle. Trixie's hooves pulled Cheerilee's head in closer to her chest, and the two fell asleep there, wrapped in loves embrace.
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Errors me thinks.
She didn’t know what to do. Here entire life depended on the blue mare, if only for a day. But now, she couldn’t imagine life without her. Fresh tears poured from Cheerilee’s eyes, she didn’t mind, they had been doing that for the past few hours. The world outside was no dark and cold.
"Trixie came to...apologize. She was simply acting awful," (Full stop rather than comma)
In my opinion,
Chapter one was very good.
Chapter two had a good central idea but I would readdress the balance of the conversation in Cheerlie's favor so she gives out less detailed information using half truths, while the young colt is very idealistic and innocent in his advice, however as is the conversation seems a bit unrealistic given his age.
Chapter two point five, overall good, it would make more sense however if Trixie tried to impress Cheerlie earlier here and then changing her when it doesn't work, rather than suddenly Trixie turning up in chapter three and suddenly confessing for no good reason.
I would roll the ice cream part in chapter three into chapter two point five, since it took twilight a while (a couple of days) to beat Trixie, Cheerlie should be a filly for a while longer and only stops binge eating/being depressed after the change is reversed when Trixie leaves town.
Then have a whole new chapter (or two) afterwards where Trixie comes back and tries to get together with cheerlie, because as it is it's too quick.
Lots of
and hopes this helps, Hearts warmth
Kay...um...first of all, thanks for listening to me and commenting. However, this is my, like, second fic, so... It's bound. Have plot holes and stuff. In my opinion, I should simply quite writing fics past midnight. Also, thank you for the Ideas, I will put them toward future pairings, but this one will remain the way it is, imperfect.
Also, I know Ardent was really young, that was on purpose.
The "word of the wise" is a common theme in many stories, but it was always an old man, and besides, this is Ardent's special talent, so he's not going to be an average foal.
In any case, thank you, I'll try to make my next story a bit less rushed and unfounded.
Sort of rushed at the end there, sweet, but a bit confusing. No worse than a lot of Twixie, admittedly.
Enjoyed, but looking forward to later developments.
There are a lot of grammar and spelling errors in this story, short as it is. I would recommend reading through it and correcting them, as some of them are careless mistakes (i.e. forgetting to capitalize names).
Furthermore, there was very little character development, and the relationship just seemed to come out of nowhere. It was very rushed.
I feel that if this fic was redone and lengthened to make it flow better, it would have the potential to become something truly great. As it is though, it has the feel of a story that was written and posted in a rush to meet a deadline.
4012511 Thank you for your honesty, and well, yeah I agree this ended up being kind of...less amazing than I intended. I do plan on rewriting this in the future, but I am working on other things at the moment. As for the basic spelling errors and whatnot, I am still trying to find prereaders to make sure that doesn't occur in any future fics, considering writing on an I-Pad is usually prone to LOTS of errors.
Danke!
4012665 I don't use prereaders myself, but I generally limit my errors to the bare minimum. What I would recommend doing is after you write a chapter for a story, leave it for a day before coming back to read it over again after you've rested. More often than not you'll find a lot of errors you overlooked, as well as parts that just didn't flow very well since you were "in the zone".
Take a lesson from Finding Forrester: write your first draft with your heart, and your second draft with your head.
Why does this have more views than Life on Bridleway? This story is awful and poorly written I hate it! Go read my good stories, not this piece o junk!
As many others and yourself have mentioned. This is terribly rushed. And rough overall. Though that cover image and the ship saves it from a downvote. soo.....
have a good day.
Is it fixed Yet?!
I kinda like the idea of Trixilee, and so want to read it.
Well it could have been done better, but never-the-less, I shall make sure to wait for this to be fixed.
Btw, Teen Cheerilee and Apologetic Tirixie is best Trixilee!
4821519 Jeez, way to just spam my inbox.
Well, yeah this is the "bad" version of Trixilee. As I have said in the past, I plan on fixing (maybe even rewriting, I dunno
) this fic once Life on Bridleway is finished.
Glad you like this ship I created (I love random nonsense ships, good days) and hope to see you when this thing is redone and shiny.
[shamelessselfpromotion] you should totally check out my other stories, though. I think you'll find them much better![/shamelessselfpromotion]
4825253
I'm not apologizing.
Good to know, and can't wait for this to be fixed, so I can properly enjoy it.
Well I think I mostly liked this ship after reading 'The Teacher, The Magician and The Wonderbolt' series.
I'll take a look when I can, thanks.
No man...just....no, this story I probably pretty good, but, the ship, it's different yes but, do you really see this as well, a ship? I'm not gonna down vote this, but pleas if you want to do ships that are different pleas be careful who you ship with who.
5570639 oh, I'm sorry to hear. :(
Why don't you like the shipping. I thought the two could work together. What exactly keeps the two from being a ship?
5573595 well fore starters I don't really see Cheerilee even wanting to talk to a pony like trixy.
Also, there personalities are to different fore me to see them working together, like if trixy just started boasting in front of Cheerilee I don't think they would get along.
Also I don't think Cheerilee is the type of pony to be a fillyfooler.
And I don't think that the filly's and colts at her school would look at there teacher in the same way again
And why would trixy be interested in Cheerilee?
All in all I just don't see it working, now I under stand that the story can have its own scenario where this could work but, looking at them in general I don't see it.
5573678 well, I suppose when you create a "crack-shipping" the point is that it's kind of odd these two be together.
Though, I really never shipped these two anyway. Just thought it would be a net Idea, I dunno.
I currently ship Trixie with Luna and Cheerilee with Twilight, if that helps any.
Also, Cheerilee's Bi, and the kids can just learn to except that theough the welcoming of other ponies' differences like they always do anyway (excluding Diamond Tiara, who would probably talk about how gross it is, et cetera, etc. )
5575659 vary well...
Wait WHAT!?!?!?!?
Twilight with.....Cheerilee and Luna and Trixie........O__o ya know what I'm not gonna question it any more.
Oh, thank-fucking-CHRIST I'm done with this. Having to re-read this has been the cringiest moment of my life so far.
I apologize for ever posting this and ever thinking it was worthy of even the slightest amount of praise.
Please, if you're reading this comment, don't read this story. Just don't.
I would like more of this this is cute and awesome