• Member Since 6th Jan, 2014
  • offline last seen Feb 9th, 2021

LightningBass94


Dying. Funny thing, that. It never happens how you expect it.

T

After nearly a year, Trixie returns to Ponyville, but for what? Why did she put herself in harm's way to return there of all places? Does she have yet another scheme in store for the Ponyvillians?

This story has a comic!

It's being done by one of my readers, Crelyous!

Here's his devianart page. Crelyous

He's really, really good at what he does, and to prove it, here's the brand spankin' new first page of the Trixie's Return comic series! Go give him some love, guys. <3

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 136 )

Rainbow Dash beating a helpless unicorn senseless and ponies doing nothing about it...their just cheering her on!!:rainbowhuh:

3806766

In her defense, she did have a new reason to be upset at her, and no one realized how much damage was being done. It happened too fast and after enslaving everypony, they thought she was getting what was coming to her. It will be explained in more detail in future chapters. :twilightsheepish:

3806766
I think it's implied that Dash and Trixie had a "snark V snark" conversation which turned into a brawl.
Also I guess almost everypony in ponyville... well, the ones in the crowd,... 'dislikes' her for what she did in her episodes.

It would be clearer if the crowd had been shouting references to Trixies episodes... eg. angry at having spells shot at them, giant glass domes etc..
"I MISSED A WONDERBOLTS SHOW COS' OF YOUR DOME!"
"GLASS DOME STOPPED MY SHIPMENT OF SOFAS"
"YOUR SPELLS WERE BAD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD"

3807263

I guess that's true. :rainbowlaugh: Those comments are pretty funny. Would you mind if I encorporated them into an update? The "snark vs snark" will be coming in a later chapter. I have a plan for that, at least. :twilightsheepish:

3807318
Yeah, sure go for it.
I guess you've already seen both episodes with Trixie in.
That dome would have caused a lot of disruption to free movement of ponies, wildlife and weather...
Hang on... how would Fluttershy have taken it?

Spike: "Uhh... Twilight?... Why is there a large army of animals gathered outside our front door?"
Fluttershy: "I WANT THE BLUE ONE ALIVE!... um... please?"

3811209 Haha! Man you are hilarious. xP You're right though, more of that will put some depth into my story. I'll keep it in mind.

Applejack's reaction that I came up with is gonna' be great. Lol!

You said to come and comment, so I did.

First, I'd like to say that I'm… honestly impressed. :twilightoops: I, personally, love Twi x Trix. It's a little thing for me. :twilightblush: I'd like to see how this'll fold. I'll keep a close watch. Gonna save this fav for now. :twilightsmile: :pinkiecrazy: I'll wait till it gets better.

I can see why this story got the down votes it did. Rainbow Dash beating a pony to the point where that pony is a bloody mess in the middle of the street? And only Rarity had enough compassion to get Twilight? Every pony else cheering Rainbow on? That is Out Of Character if I ever read it.

3814737 I don't feel it was super OOC. She's an impulsive character, very impulsive. She doesn't think about the consequences of her actions much, and she was being egged on by somepony she already had a bad history with. She felt bad once she realized just how bad she'd beaten Trixie. It wasn'twasn't like she had no remorse once she got a second to calm down. She wouldn't be the first one to make a huge mistake like that and beat herself up over it later.

You're right. It was a flimsy excuse to beat Trixie within an inch of her life. I seriously doubt that excuse would fly in court. I'm going to keep an eye on this, but you already have some damage control to do.

She was cut off by a familiar cyan pegasus hovering above the crowd to get a better look at the musician.

Just something I noticed.

3814923 Lol thanks for pointing that out. I've been reading too much OctaScratch lately, I guess.

I was concerned about the way Rainbow was acting in this fic, but now its understandable. You have earned a thumbs up my friend.

Her mane was mangled and matted with mud

Unintentional alliteration. :rainbowderp:

Poetry FTW! :rainbowkiss:

3814923 I'm with Frankie2 on this. Rainbow Dash and Trixie getting into an escalating shouting match with some scuffing and maybe a few petty spells? Okay. Rainbow Dash beating Trixie into the ground to the point that she needs surgery to survive over a few playground insults? That's criminal.

Unless the rest of the story is about the evil entity that drives good ponies to commit atrocities and the heroes fighting against it, I sincerely hope we'll get to see Rainbow Dash having to face the consequences of her rash actions. Things like prison time or community service, anger management classes, and one heck of a sincere apology to Trixie.

I mean, you've clearly established that Trixie can be nice in this continuity, seeing as how she's on friendly terms with both Twilight and Spike (the latter of whom has always held a strong grudge, so that's an accomplishment), so developing on this angle can work too.

I just really, really hate when stories depict the main heroes as childish jerks just to perpetuate a grudge. They're supposed to be a little better than that. Not perfect, but trying to be good. And "she started it" isn't an acceptable argument in court. (And if you want to be really petty about the details, by that argument they have no right to say anything, since they "started it" back in S1E6 when they insulted Trixie during her performance.)

I haven't downvoted this story because you're clearly making some effort at least, but I strongly suggest that you take a good hard look at how your characters (particularly RD) are turning out if you want to gain much approval.

3817615 I agree I may have overstepped some boundaries, and I made a lot of people angry over it. I really like RD. She's my favorite of the mane six. Honestly, at the time, it was a spur-of-the-moment plot device. I do already have a very, VERY, long apology planned out for her in the chapter after next, but as for prison, I'm not going to do that. I like her character waaay too much, and I want her to be an integral part of the story, and not depicted as the antagonist. That was just something to get the story rolling. There are so many Twixie stories out there, I was just trying to start off with something completely new and original. I didn't want to be caught up in a wave of standard Twixie stories. I wanted to stand out, and I certainly did, though not in the best way possible. In a way, I feel like I'm in Trixie's position in "Boast Busters." I only aim to entertain. Everyone should just sit back, enjoy, and watch how it plays out. If you're not happy by the end of the story, then I may have some apologies to dish out. :fluttershysad: Trust me, she will be redeemed. I thought the way she remorsed over what she did immediately, redeemed her a bit already. Usually she is VERY stubborn, but even she could realize she crossed a line. She just needed a second to clear her head. She will be redeemed much much more than that, I assure you. I would tell you more, but spoilers. :moustache:

How did it go from Trixie wanting Twilight's help with apologizing to the whole town to them arguing about it? That confused me.

3817972 I'm sorry. :twilightsheepish: I thought it was more clear that she didn't want to say anything because she had changed her mind after recent events. That, I will most definitely consider revising. Thank you for telling me that it wasn't clear enough. :twilightoops:

3817972

"Considering," Trixie started up again. "I was going to ask for your assistance in the matter, regardless. I had hoped to apologize," she paused with another sigh, She really didn't want to do this. After what had happened and a week of solitude in fear she may be attacked again, she had completely changed her mind. "To the entire town."

Better? Or worse? :rainbowderp:

Spike once again being the voice of reason.

3818118 Oh, always. He's the most level-headed being in Equestria next to Celestia herself. :moustache: :trollestia:

3818032 That's better. She just need to tell Twilight that she changed her mind. Something like,
'I had hoped to apologize...to the entire town. However, after what happened when I showed up, I changed my mind!' Then point out somewhere that Twilight is trying to change her mind.
This is just me. You don't have to change it again, if you don't think you need to.

3818136 Except when it comes to Rarity.:raritywink:

3818151 Ha ha! Yeah, that's a whole new level of crush. :rainbowlaugh:

My apologizes if I sound a bit crude, but I think you should consider rewriting this. As stated by some of the other comments (pretty much the two actually useful ones (you really shouldn't have just copy-pasted what Sejen thought you should add)) you wrote most of the ponies out-of-character. In the case of Rainbow Dash it's obvious, but there are a couple in this first chapter that have been overlooked by the other comments. Namely Rarity (honestly would have preferred you had excluded the use of the second half of Sweetie Belle's name, but oh well) and the Princess of Friendship herself, Twilight Sparkle. When Rarity warns Twilight of situation, it seems as though she has her priorities backwards. Why is Rarity more concerned with Trixie being there than the fact that of of her best friends, Rainbow Dash, is doing something so despicably unlike herself. With Twilight, the only real thing with her is her impromptu speech, which sounds more like something out of Luna's or Celestia's mouth.

3820279 The fighting didn't begin until shortly before they arrived on scene. Rarity saw Trixie and ran straight to Twilight. As I narrated, Twilight had been practicing that voice and the authority that comes with it. You think she's incapable making a speech like that? I don't find it OOC in the slightest. As for Rarity's name, I always liked the idea that the two share a last name. That's just my opinion. Twilight used it to make a point for the same reason anyone would use anyone else's full name. I've said all I'll say on Rainbow, and there's a reason behind the way Trixie is acting, if you're wondering about her as well. If you care to find out, you'll have to read it as I write it. Also, I'd like to mention, that this is not the worst thing RD has done in a fimfic. *cough cough* Rainbow Factory *cough cough* I realize it's a different genre, but if people can accept that, then they should be able to accept the fact that she made a mistake due to a rash decision. Ok, I lied. I guess I had more to say on RD. Now, I'm done.

Nice using color fonts!:rainbowlaugh:

If Twixie doesn't make out in the final chapter we'll riot!!!

3825113 The pilogue will be really short, but you will get a full sequel, possibly longer than this one, with plenty of make out scenes. :scootangel: I'll see what I can do. :trixieshiftright: :twilightblush:

3825154 So far, this story looks like it was setting the foundation for Twixie, but it had a deeper meaning first. Trixie coming to town to apologize, only to get beat within an inch of her life. Now, apologies have been given and accepted. Now, comes the question: What's next for Trixie now?

3825827 Well, I'm glad you seem more satisfied with what I've done with RD. :twilightsmile: As for your question, that is to be addressed in the sequel.

I think the RD thing was very well done. I didn't like it at first but after you gave an explanation it made perfect sense and fit well with the character! Can't wait for the sequel!

doit longer thats all i think that the fin as you put it it's to short in comparation with the hole story and first in the coments

3820279 actually if Rarity and Sweetie are sisters it makes sense that they would have the same last name

so what was with the sex tag if their was nothing of the sort in the fic

3828320 Thank you :twilightsmile:
3828335 The epilogue was meant to be short. It wasn't a full chapter. I meant the actual word, fin, to end the story.
3828485 Get out. Lol.

Tgirls danced and played games into the night.

Now to what I actually thought of the epilogue. It nice to see that Trixie is actually accepted into Ponyville. Now, he just need to know how close she is to Twilight and will this be permanent sleeping arrangements.:raritywink:

3828931 I can't tell if that was positive or negative, but seeing as you faved the story, I guess it's good? :rainbowlaugh:

3828946 I don't even think I know that yet. :twilightsheepish: I need to come up with a basic idea of what I'm going to do with the sequel before I start writing. I'm going to listen to some music, and reread my fave Twixie fics to figure out how mine will be different. I'm also not sure if I'll make it mature, eventually, or not. I'll leave that to a vote later. I'm glad you liked it so far. I'm a bit disappointed that no one commented on my peanutbutter cracker joke in chapter 3. :trixieshiftleft: I thought more people would like that. It's the best part of that entire movie. :rainbowlaugh:

3829044 The peanut butter joke has been used quite a bit by now. So people are use to it.

3829003 Did you read the quote I used?

3829155 Oh. I hadn't seen it at all. :/ I do see a lot of fics where she eats pinecones. idky that's such a big thing. xD I didn't notice the typo at first. Sadly, I can't edit it yet. :/

Things could use a general polish of mechanics overall (especially the second 'angry villager' shout, from the lines out of the comments). And ... honestly, it seemed like things were moving way too fast. Hard to put my finger on it, but it was a little hard to think that things could go that fast, especially on the escalations--the brawl, the crowd at the end, Trixie's time at the library, and so on.

As far as the brawl itself? It's taking a lot for me to see that happening. Perhaps a little more buildup there would've helped; whatever speed there was just didn't seem to work for me, sadly.

Please excuse my language but WHAT THE BLODDY F*CK RANBOW!?!?

Hmmm... Well it seems that you author gave made a great accomplishment you somehow managed to make spike be a GOOD CHARACTER I don't know how but you have my blessing.:moustache:

It was REALLY rushed. But I love how you played the Twixie angle. You didn't jump into it right away. though it was a little blunt it was still excellently paced.

AJ's bit was almost as flip floppy as a politition. Angry enough to cut off her princess friend but then instantly fine? Yeah. Might wanna re-think that.

Still. I liked this quite a bit.

3858111 Thank you. Lol. I wasn't sure if I made him a bit too mature or not, but I guess this confirms I did alright with him. I just hope I keep it up during the sequel. Lol. :pinkiesmile:

I held my tongue for a bit, and it paid off. The story is good, sweet, and sometimes touching (to me at least). Have the fav! :heart:

3866545 Lol. Thanks. I'm glad you liked it, and I hope you enjoy the sequel.

Twilight broke her gaze with the bloodied unicorn and shot Rainbow

Finally! :ajsmug:

an accusatory glare.

...oh. :ajsleepy:

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