(certain inappropriate language is found here and slight moments of damage to others I would advise for people that are -13 to gain permission of parents or guardians so as to read and look over swearing and violence) Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. Best friends 'till the end. They have known each other since they were fillies. But what happens next is unexpected for both of them... Fluttershy has found out about Rainbow's secret interest for mares and Rainbow has found out that Fluttershy found out. And with they're ever growing friendship, they know they should use this to their advantage to take it to the next level. But what seems to be bugging Pinkie? And what's with the sudden entrance of Gilda?
Chapters (1)
An interesting story with a back story that I would like to read more of. Look forward to the next chapter.
I really enjoyed reading this story, please write more chapters!
good so far. waiting for more.
I suppose I should have expected this when I looked for shipping stories.
Your first paragraph is way too damn long. Break up those walls of text. Take at least three fair-sized paragraphs to set the mood before you dive into events. Let us experience the flow of things, don't just have a nonstop stream of dialogue. Don't rush the exposition. Don't rush Gilda's actual appearance. Just don't rush things in general.
Learn to properly attribute your dialogue. The following paragraph, for example, is incorrect.
"Stop? You want me to stop keeping you safe?! YOU WANT ME TO KEEP MY ONLY DAUGHTER SAFE FROM THIS LITTLE WHORE THAT IS STANDING RIGHT HERE?! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH A OF SELFISH BITCH YOUR BEING RIGHT NOW?!" Fluttershy was furious beyond question.
Deer god, that's awful. When you follow an otherwise-unattributed quotation with a statement of what a character is doing or how they're feeling, the reader automatically assumes that the character identified in the latter statement is the character saying the quote. And here you've only compounded it; you've given Fluttershy an emotion that matches that expressed in the quote, making it seem even MORE like she's the one speaking.
And drop your spellcheck in favor of a proofreader. A spellcheck won't tell you the difference between "your" and "you're", "too" and "to", "their" and "there".
I'm sorry. I want to like this. There aren't enough good Flutterdash fics. But this isn't good. This is bad. This is very, very bad.
491277 wow... Um... Well sorry it's just... *sigh* I please people but there are just people who... Why do I make these to find out that I'm going to get a bad comment on the first chapter? But your comment is just harsh. I never get a chance with these so with that part with her dad I did it during the night! I was sleepy, tired and when I try to fit something in earlier in the day some things just don't come out right! I'm serious here... You could have done without the insults...
491324
...
Sorry. I didn't mean to be quite that harsh. I was just kind of irritated because, well, there seems to be a trend of Flutterdash stories looking better at first glance than they turn out to be. And I tire of seeing empty praise for stories with obvious flaws, it makes me feel like I'm the only one interested in writers being made that extra bit self-aware in order to improve. So ultimately when I started typing up little things I found disappointing about this story, I found I couldn't stop, so I went a bit overboard. I'm not trying to say it's irretrievable and I'm not saying you shouldn't try. This could still be a good story, I just don't think it's there yet.
I don't want you to think I'm calling you a bad writer. I don't think anyone can make that judgement based on the quality of a chapter, It should be made, if at all, based on someone's effort and willingness to take advice and improve.
491930 Well... it's okay... That happens with me sometimes when someone who really gets on my nerves at school *coughjackcough* and they WILL NOT stop pestering me! They just never leave me alone. And I call them my friends? I only say their my friends so they don't annoy me even more than how they are now.
But yeah, I'll just try to find the faults you pointed out and try to fix them. 
... Actually... your were doing a good job in proof reading there! If I make you my proof reader can you promise not to go overboard? No offense. Also, about Gilda's appearance... I was thinking of having her being the sneaky type and just popping up out of nowhere. Yeah my mind works in strange ways. 
492007
How would that work, exactly? Does the site have a system for it or are you thinking of just sending things to me to look at?
I'd be glad to help, either way, as much as I can.
492081 Well there is a way where you get a password and get someone to use it when you notify them of a chapter being done but I use private messaging. I copy the chapter that I'm done with then I send it to you, you tell me the flaws I fix the chapter then send it to you and see if it needs anything else done.
If I may offer some constructive criticism, you really REALLY need to pick a tense and stick with it. Switching back and forth between past (Rainbow was having the time of her life.) and present (She drifts over to the closest cloud) is really distracting.
492101 Yeah... sorry about that.
I can have trouble with choosing between tense because to me, some words in certain tenses sound like they are from the same tense.
I think maybe I should take a moment to elaborate on what I meant about the constant stream of dialogue, because I don't know if the way I put it before was very helpful.
After the first long paragraph, nearly every paragraph starts with a sentence in quotation marks. It gives the whole thing a feeling of sameishness, and projects the illusion that all that's happening is characters talking, even though that's not true. You should include some paragraphs of descriptions or actions, but aside from that, you could actually improve it quite a bit by just reorganizing a few paragraphs so that the dialogue comes at the end of the paragraph instead of the beginning..
492900 Hm... I understand what your saying but for some reason I can't find anyway to improve it. Not saying I'm lazy! I'm just saying that I don't know how I could improve it without making a big mess I have to clean up later! I'm pathetic aren't I?
494754
Not sure if I can help you there... maybe the best thing to do would be to move on to the next chapter and try to do your best with that, and maybe once you've got a few to look over you'll see some things you can do with the first.
500061 well, I was thinking of making him overprotective, easily provoked and as a grumpy old bum. Plus, he can get really over his head! But that time he was drunk. I was thinking of something else happen involving him in the future.
Eh, Gilda and Fluttershy's dad's characterization seems really off and to extreme levels...
503237 My mind works in STRANGE. WAYS. O.O
Really nice. Make another chapter. Godspeed and goodluck.
545113 Thanks man. I get really distracted easily so I can't focus on certain things sometimes.
iambrony.steeph.tp-radio.de/mlp/gif/f0swtw.gif
MOAR!!!
505176 heh, mine too VERY WIERD 0_0
599567 your mind crazy sometimes? Huh... Anyway, once I do the first chapters of three upcoming stories, I'll get the next chapter up. So many distractions! And RPG maker VX ACE doesn't help much either...
Me wantz.... MORE!
700371 I know... I have alot of stuff to do (including school) so I'm pretty caught up...
701637 well now its...SUMMER! unless you like in EU...MOUSTACHE POWA!
703327 I'm in Australia and get this? No Summer off! WHAT THE HELL?! Luckily if it's too hot we get off of school. (WHICH IS ALMOST NEVER GODDAMMIT! Australia is pretty weird.
) Also, MOUSTACHE!!! 
X3
704397 ya here in pennsylvania (a state of USA) it's fucking COLD!!! And now it goes to be over 80 which is hot here and I like my house at 62 degrees and... mustache
706665 CHEESE! FO- wait a minute... MUSTACHES! FOR EVERYONE!
The flashback was..... wut. But please. Give.Me.Moar.
995596 I'll try to! I get preoccupied easily. And thanks for faving! X3
MOAR!! Um... If that's not to much trouble...
1552726 I'll try to if I can convince myself.
Moarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
This is so AWESOME!
Yay this is amazing!!
please write more!!
Ah yes another dead fic
Aww man. It's dead. It was good while it lasted