I am a musician and writer, and an avid viewer and crazy fanatic of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic!
(Formerly known as 'The Truth Left Unspoken'). The two have been friends since they were fillies, but recently Rainbow Dash discovers she has romantic feelings for her timid pal. Meanwhile, Fluttershy works on being livelier and more brave in an attempt to impress the mare of her dreams.
Page generated in 0.12 seconds
Total duration
966 users online
472,017 hits today, 1,996,409 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Sorry, everypony, I know this is PAINFULLY short, but I'll be sure to update quick!
Yay
A like start.
Can't wait for more.
Nice, but REALLY short!
The length is good for an intro but I want it to be longer when the actual story starts.
Is this your first fic? Its short and sweet, cant wait for nex chap :)
Yes, if this is a first timer, very good.
But if it isn't I still like it. 5/5 ^^
Update it fast, but don't rush your story.
Has promise. I'll withhold judgement for now, but if i had to 4/5.
Hm... you have some slight verb tense issues here and then, but still, my curiosity is piqued, especially since I love this pairing.
Hoping to see more of this.
"I know who Rainbow and Fluttershy are, now get to the story!" - Me.
The lenght is ideal for a prelude but I do hope you intend to lenghten the chapters?
This is a good start. Can't wait to see what happens when the story really gets started. *hopes the other chapters aren't as short as this one* I love this ship.
FlutterDash For the win.
That's quite the introduction, and I like how you set the story up a little first.
I just want to say though. The SAT vocabulary was a little off-putting. This ended up feeling like a formal essay, not a shipping fic. I love fancy vocabulary like that a lot (speakin' fancay
), but like I said, sort of a turn-off. 
Maybe you only planned to do that for this intro? That's cool, I just don't want to read about their first kiss in a way that makes me think I'm analyzing their relationship for an essay. Do what you will though! Those are simply my thoughts on the matter, no obligations there!
Complaints aside, it looks like you put a lot of time and effort into this and are an awesome writer. I'm expecting the story to be excellent regardless of what your word choice ends up being. Tracking!
<(~~yay~~)
Well, actually, the chapters are SHORTER than this.
umad?.img
Nah, they'll definitely be longer; it's a goal of mine to make them 2,000 or more words each. Thank you all for your kind words!
Arendos: I'm just making sure!
74346
No, I realize how incredibly formal this introduction sounded—reading it back, it sounds rather perfunctory and even a bit stilted. But that was my intention for this prologue/introduction; I wanted it to sound like you're sitting in a theater waiting for the show to start when a person comes out and gives a concise background about the characters, along with the plot of the play.
I promise that my writing in the actual chapters will sound better and have a more natural flow.
Anyhoo, thank you for your wonderful praise! ^_^
FlutterDash is my favorite pair.
This has Shojo written all over. MAOR!!!
What's Shojo?
Mother of Celestia, your vocabulary is extensive...
Keep it up. Looking forward to your next chapter!
Thank you for the accolade, fellow brony comrade. As a writer, I am always seeking ways to hone my linguistic abilities. I want to sound intelligent and possess a grandiloquent vocabulary.
75684
Haha, that made my morning.
Vocabulary is my weakness in writing, I think. My word choice can be rather pathetic at times...
Quite the opposite for you, I can see.
75822
All you have to do is just read prolifically. Whenever I stumble upon a puzzling word I don't know, I always find something to write the word on so I can figure out its meaning for another time. Then, I work arduously finding a place to squeeze it into my writing (both stories and poems/lyrics). There is one key to having an extensive vocabulary that is difficult to change, and that's mental capacity and how strong and powerful your memory is. That aspect can be out of your control, though. Ever since I was younger, countless numbers of people have told me that my memory is incredibly good, some even taking those remarks and pushing them further, saying that I may possess "photographic memory."
I know I had a conclusion and point that I was trying to get across by sharing that bit of information about myself, but I cannot for the life of me remember what it was, ha. How ironic, huh?
This ended up being way shorter than I expected, and I'm sorry for that.
Short, but still enjoyable.
79942 Don't be, this chapter was excellent!
I like the conflicting emotions. Dash does like Fluttershy, but she's never really thought about it that much because. . . well, she's Dash. She's totally oblivious to Fluttershy's feelings, that sort of feels right. Dash isn't a romantic, she isn't really considering feelings and the like. Fluttershy obviously does have feelings for Dash. . . but she's worried that Dash won't feel the same way. So, that fear combined with her natural shyness makes her. . . I don't know, subtly obvious about the whole thing? (yes, I made that conflicting on purpose)
I feel like the build up to their relationship is a little straight forward. . . Confessions of feelings are great and all, but are you planning to have an event to build up to that? If they just go up to the cloud, it's romantic, and Fluttershy confesses her feelings, that's not really much of a build up, ya know?
You could have Rainbow Dash react badly to the confession as well I guess, and do what happened in Flying High, Falling Hard. Even then though, it'd be nice to see a build up. That way, when the climax comes, no matter what direction it takes it's more intense and emotional. (nods sagely to self)
^ Look at me, I could write an essay. Not sure why I started analyzing it that much. But anyway, yeah. I feel like you got the characterization down, I'm looking forward to more. See you around!
It's not going to be that short, man. The cloud is going to be a catalyst for Rainbow's revelation of her feelings.
Yay, another chapter!
Wow, another fun chapter to read. As I said before, I really enjoy your word choice and I don't mind your shorter chapters. I do the same thing with my story, and sometimes it bothers me when some stories are prolonged so they can appear longer, and I start to get bored with it.
A couple errors I found:
"Ugh!" she exclaimed. "Of all the days that I'm restless and wanting to do stuff, it HAD to be THIS day.
No " at the end.
Rainbow Dash looked up at her friend with one eyebrow cocked up in curiosity. "Yeah, really. Why would you think that you were lying?"
I think you meant I was?
I don't mean to insult your story in any way, I'm just trying to help
Just simple errors that can be easily fixed by re-reading or getting a proof-reader. (I'd be glad to help, if you'd like!) There may be a few more that I didn't notice, however.
As always, keep up the amazing work, and I look forward to the next chapter.
Thank you for pointing those errors out for me; they're fixed now. I do have an editor, though I'm probably going to have to have a word with him.
Thank you for your praise. ^_^
80095
No problem.
Speaking of editors, mine won't get off of Skyrim whenever I need his help.
This reminds me, I need to start working on my next chapter.
Keep up the great work, fellow brony comrade.
short and sweet, just like that
cant wait for another chapter
Woo! New chapter!
This was amazing work as always, Foxey. I'm really starting to get attached to this story.
Cliffhanger though?
I hate cliffhangers! Yet I love them at the same time!
My emotions are so mixed right now.
nice
lol, fluttershy had a wingboner XD
nice idea, never seen that one before
lol i cant wait to see where this goes :3
FlutterDash is such a great ship, the two complete each other. One is perfectly meek and kind
, the other is totally outgoing and fiery 
. Their personalities complete each other like a graham cracker completes a S'more, meaning it works every time! Also: really bad simile and explanation, huh? 
You wrote Fluttershy perfectly, by the way Foxey
. Not much else to say but that, since I can't really find any errors in her characterization to mention! Yay for good writing! 
I can't find anything to point out.......... I feel like a failure
. I wanted to give you some constructive feedback but I guess not. 
I'll take it in stride though, me not being bothered by anything means you've done a really great job on the story! I can't wait for more! Take as long as you want as long as I can enjoy them as much as this one!
Awesome story!
Question: This is the second story I've seen the whole wings-standing-up-when-romantic-stuff-happens thing. Where'd you get it from?
113754
You know not of the wing-boner?
Great story so far! Just hope that the update is close by.
By the way, I TOTALLY CARE!
You glorious cunt, that cliffhanger was perfect. It was pretty much just you grabbing a hot poker and smacking me in my dick, it hurt but god dam does it give me hope for whats to come. Just realised how long its been since an update FML.
1525564 Amen to that!