Thirty Minutes

In thirty minutes, the world will end. In thirty minutes life as we know it shall end. What will they do in the next thirty minutes?

This is a thirty minute challenge I did about Thirty Minutes.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 12 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 12
- Newest First
- Oldest First

Tunalock

Tunalock #1 · Jan 17th, 2014 · · ·

Well, it's nice to see other fics where time is a major factor, but I feel as if yours was executed poorly. I mean, you had the right idea of everypony having a confession to make, but some of them felt pretty out-of-place. Applejack's confession was the only one that felt like it had weight. It was the only one that made me think, "Yeah, I could definitely see that happening."
The others, however, had some inconsistencies. Rarity's and Rainbow's felt this way because trying to act haute when you're really down-to-earth or trying to act big and tough when you're really just a girly girl seems extremely hard to keep as a secret for however long it's been in the show.
Fluttershy's confession seems like a chance to get a favorite pairing in with no real reason, as there haven't been any notions to FlutterTwi in the show. If you made, say, AppleDash, I'd believe it more.
Pinkie's confession is pretty dark for the show, as well as it's pretty obvious to realize when Pinkie is or isn't happy. Feigning happiness doesn't change the fact that her mane will go straight if she's sad on the inside.
Twilight's confession – or lack thereof – feels like a pretty poor choice, as there are always things that people hide from their friends. I've got things I wouldn't tell my friends that I'd confess if I knew we were all going to die, just to know that they ended up knowing the true me.

So, let's recap: good idea, poor execution. Try to work on thinking up less absurd confessions for them.

Lisa_M

Lisa_M #2 · Jan 17th, 2014 · · ·

3799601 I kinda see where you're coming from, but there are a few things I'd like to point out:

1: Perhaps Rainbow honestly thought that she was hiding her girliness well? With an exception or two, she's fooled others into thinking that she's tough/not nervous/not scared when she's really the opposite. She trys to make others believe she's not into girly stuff, and freaks out a little TOO much if others think she is (Remember the FoalFreePress?) She also went to some pretty drastic extremes to hide that she actually likes reading.

2: I can see where you are coming from with this one, and to a certain extent I agree. But FlutterMac is a VERY popular ship and they have next to no interaction (that we've seen) yet. I say let them have their OTP.

3. Not necessarily. Too Many Pinkie Pies had her not only depressed, but doubting her own identity. Her mane and tail were as poofy as ever. While it has happened this way, there are some exceptions.

4: You're right, everyone does have something to hide. This was the least of her concerns. They literally had minutes to live, and perhaps Twilight felt that spending that time confessing wouldn't give her enough time to get them together with their families. I'm sure she wasn't the telling the truth, but she probably had her reasons. To her, her friends' last moments were far more important then anything she had to say.

Stasiarose

Stasiarose #3 · Jan 17th, 2014 · · ·

3799601
3800059
I understand where you both are coming from, really I do. I know this story is rushed and that it could be better, but you must remember that this was a thirty minute challenge, so I didn't have much time to think or prepare. This was just streamed from my finger tips, and I went with it. I have to say though I pretty proud of how I'd done with only thirty minutes.

Tunalock

Tunalock #4 · Jan 17th, 2014 · · ·

3801982 Well, I, uh, forgot that. Carry on.

Stasiarose

Stasiarose #5 · Jan 17th, 2014 · · ·

3801994
It's fine. If ever I race back to this idea and make it into a real story, I promise I'll take your advice!

PastaDerpPony

PastaDerpPony #6 · Jan 18th, 2014 · · ·

So Why is the world ending? if its in the story i cant seem to find it, also, its a good consept, but a mediocre story. Sorry, just saying the truth.

Stasiarose

Stasiarose #7 · Jan 18th, 2014 · · ·

3803593
It's quite alright, really. It is a pretty rushed story, but it was a story typed and thought through thirty minutes. And it does say why the world is ending in the story, it's gamma radiation from the sun.

PastaDerpPony