Oh no, it looks like I left my bio in my other pelt. Whoops! You're gonna have to do some exploring to learn about this Brony.
There was once a foal. He was never loved nor cared for, and didn't have a friend in the world. This is his tale, the tale of Haikus.
Surly you haven't heard the story of Haikus? Because if you have, you'd be older than Starswirl himself. No, everypony has forgotten about Haikus, even my memory is a bit fuzzy. But, none the less, I'm here today to tell you his tale. That is, if you care to listen.
Oh, and his name is pronounced Hike-us.
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Mhmm, a tale of hardship, desperation, and loneliness? It's hard to make a story as short as this feel gripping, but nevertheless, I didn't come away feeling disappointed.
Good job, sport!
Your grammar wasn't stellar, but it was good enough to keep me from pressing the back arrow. As for the actual plot; Foal is forsaken, tries to live on his own, yet ultimately fails. A tad cliche, but hey, nobody's gonna sue you hahaha
In conclusion; Not bad. Keep up the good work, man!
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Thanks man. Please, help me out here, where are my grammar issues? And between you and me, this was a nicer version of The Girl Who Was Forgotten.
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why are you sad?
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I don't know what ya mean.
I truly did not see that ending coming. I like being surprised, even such a disheartening one. My rambling aside, this was a good story! I'm not one for nitpicking grammar/spelling unless its REALLY bad, and this was not! I focus more on the concept/story, and they were good! Altogether: great job!
EDIT: Just read chapter two. I had to re-read it before I understood what was happening, but once I did it made the story that much better, much more so than if you had left it at Haiku's death. Cool stuff!