This is really good so far. I'm loving the second person present tense style of writing, it seems to make things a bit more personal. Will we ever learn the earth pony's name, or learn what he looks like? Or will you pull a Fight Club on us and never name or fully describe him?
385437 That's the whole point of a 2nd-person story perspective: A way to insert the reader directly into the story, so that emotions can more easily be conveyed. What does the character look like? What do you look like? Or, rather, what do you want to look like? As a pony, I mean.
503444 It's a different "you" character per story; sometimes you'll even see "yourself" through the eyes of another "you". (eg. at the end of the Ditzy Doo fic, where you discover your roommate is the same "you" who is dating Fluttershy. Oh yeah, spoiler alert by the way.)
I swear, 'I' seem like the guy who pulls out an AK to tell kids to "Get the fuck off of my lawn" but shoot a bird that craps on one of them. Great, now I am falling into the role of "me"
I was planning on become a bio-medical engineer, specializing in robotic prosthetic limbs, but instead I'm a junk collecting, lonely, reclusive lake janitor. I'm disgusted with myself
3718585 4562637 Black and red invincible alicorn that mastered every spell ever, is a pro at doing anything, and is a badass who can kill an army without breaking a sweat. Also, can shapeshift and hide as an Earth Pony who takes care of a lake.
I doubt I’d be able to thaw a whole lake with it though; I could just barely melt the ice patch that Twilight was stuck under
Wait...how large was the giant, thick frozen object that almost destroyed the Equestrian Games? The thing Spike singlehandedly melted in one go, whilst everypony else was powerless or couldn't help? If Spike could melt that, why couldn't he melt a significant part of the lake, especially since it's not frozen solid - that there's still liquid water underneath some thin layer? A layer thin enough for a unicorn to fall through when startled?
10585038 I wrote this fic back in 2012. That Equestrian Games episode was in 2014, and up to that point, Spike had never shown any abilities quite like that.
I love your stories!
The build up and character development is great...
This is really good so far. I'm loving the second person present tense style of writing, it seems to make things a bit more personal. Will we ever learn the earth pony's name, or learn what he looks like? Or will you pull a Fight Club on us and never name or fully describe him?
385437 That's the whole point of a 2nd-person story perspective: A way to insert the reader directly into the story, so that emotions can more easily be conveyed.
What does the character look like?
What do you look like? Or, rather, what do you want to look like? As a pony, I mean.
Every story you have made and that I have read, you just keep making the story 20% cooler.
503444
It's a different "you" character per story; sometimes you'll even see "yourself" through the eyes of another "you". (eg. at the end of the Ditzy Doo fic, where you discover your roommate is the same "you" who is dating Fluttershy. Oh yeah, spoiler alert by the way.)
Am I the only one who gets this? The same part of a chapter in the next, and no added parts.
Y is this mature????
I swear, 'I' seem like the guy who pulls out an AK to tell kids to "Get the fuck off of my lawn" but shoot a bird that craps on one of them. Great, now I am falling into the role of "me"
"I'm" not feeling guilty. She shouldn't have frozen "my" lake without my permission, or at least letting "me" know what was about to happen!!!
3A You'll see in the later chapters:3
386143
....Black and red alicorn?
New point of view, , I like it.
Henceforth, the protagonist shall be named Scruffie. Scruffie the janitor.
I was planning on become a bio-medical engineer, specializing in robotic prosthetic limbs, but instead I'm a junk collecting, lonely, reclusive lake janitor.
I'm disgusted with myself
3718585 BURN THE HEATHEN!
Yeah, who is Owloysius? I know of a Owlowiscious, but Owloysius?
Hmm....
I am quite strange, lusting after a lake
Nicely done tho
3718585
4562637
Black and red invincible alicorn that mastered every spell ever, is a pro at doing anything, and is a badass who can kill an army without breaking a sweat. Also, can shapeshift and hide as an Earth Pony who takes care of a lake.
503475 Like in the Aj fic where a pony nicknamed 'Rookie' is dating RD, and is never actually described? (Spoilers, probably)
7886755
Yeah, like that :)
Wait...how large was the giant, thick frozen object that almost destroyed the Equestrian Games? The thing Spike singlehandedly melted in one go, whilst everypony else was powerless or couldn't help?
If Spike could melt that, why couldn't he melt a significant part of the lake, especially since it's not frozen solid - that there's still liquid water underneath some thin layer? A layer thin enough for a unicorn to fall through when startled?
10585038
I wrote this fic back in 2012. That Equestrian Games episode was in 2014, and up to that point, Spike had never shown any abilities quite like that.