- Member Since 29th Dec, 2013
- offline last seen Nov 22nd, 2022
Wolf-Baron
Well I'm just a casual fan of mlp but I do enjoy the show. I like to write stories about pony and human/furry interactions.
Wolf-Baron
Joined 29th Dec, 2013 ·
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So... An alternate timeline with humans instead of zebras? Or are humans a third complicating party?
You misspelled prologue
3766424 Oh thanks. And Zebras are involved. Although their role won't be explained until later.
And thanks for the spelling error.
3766424 I can never seem to spell prologue right
3766424 I was gonna post a timeline explaining the background, but I was afraid that would spoil too much of the plot.
3766460
Don't spoil the plot, I was asking a silly question
Remember that this is Fanfiction, and all fanfiction is AU
I read the first paragraph of the prologue before you replied, I can already assume some things about the past of your AU. I am planning one with a being from another gameverse, one that has magic and the potential for an apocalypse scenario
Interesting...
............I like this...plenty to wonder about....is that AJs steton by the way ?
Wait... Did he wake up in Canterlot?
No Pink Cloud? How did Luna and Celestia die then?
That's very interesting. Very. I would give it a quick sweep, and put some commas to make sentences better. Keep up the good work, and this deserves a 8/10!
3766807 All in good time my friend. All in good time.
Not a bad idea, but he grammar and spelling require work. Also, try to pace out the story.
3767385 I know. I'm gonna try to improve it as I go along. Thankfully it's just the beginning.
3767385 Do you have any ideas how I can improve the pacing?
3770234 Ehhhhh. Describe the area more?
3771552 Well it was just a prologue. I'll work on it a bit more.
Before I start my grammar-nazi'ing, I'd like to state that if you feel that I'm being to "dick-ish" in my editing, then feel free to both let me know, and disregard anything that fits that description.
"No, We can't do this!"
"There has to be another way! Please, Don't do this!"
"Oh my...this is all my fault! *sobbing* I caused all this!"
"What are you doing to him?!"
His vision soon began to tunnel
He sobbed brokenly, alone in the darkness
You just told us how long he'd been in the chamber: around seven years. Him questioning it is redundant
Dull and intense are antonyms. His headache could have been dull or intense, but not both.
The entire land looked like a warzone, with grey clouds covering the sky almost like a thunderstorm, and there was little to no vegetation to be seen for miles. (this is not grammatically incorrect, but sounds better with the sentences combined)
In the distance, Reynard noticed a small city, also in ruins. (saying "which appeared to have been in ruins" implies that the city is no longer in ruins)
Wrong version of site/sight
Well, that's all I'm gonna put down. I had others, but they were small, nitpicky things that weren't at all significant. Again, I'm not trying to be a dick with this, but if I come off that way feel free to disregard this comment.
Crap, I forgot a sentence on that first little block of text. The second sentence was supposed to read: "Yes, we can. It's Humanity's only chance for survival!"
3779879 Well I kinda deliberately used antonyms as a form of poetic writing. I've seen many authors use it.
You should probably add Fallout Equestria to the title. I missed this one and wouldn't have found it if not for your post on the FoE forum, and trust me that's not a normal thing to happen to me.
3815775 Already covered. Although my story is slightly different. Rather than it taking place 200 years after the nuclear exchange, mine takes place only a decade afterwards
3817215
As long as its in the universe. Even if it's before the wart or after Pip.
Thanks for adding your story to the Fallout Equestria Group! Feel free to PM me if you have any questions!
Question, whats hiatus mean?
5120116 It means that I'm not really writing anything for it at the moment. It's not that I'm cancelling it it's just that I'm working on other writing projects. This story is actually a prequel to another Fallout Equestria story I'm working on!
5120463 oh ok thanks i've never heard the word before.
Thought I'd just say it, although it isn't very useful, a bayonet attaches to a bayonet lug on the rifle barrel, maybe 4-6 inches behind the muzzle.