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  • T The Definition of Strength

    Sabra has been searching for his answer for three long years, and at long last he may have found it. It just might not be the answer he expects.
    26,557 words · 2,409 views  ·  165  ·  0
  • T Why Me?

    It's been four days since Tirek, and Discord is finally feeling back to being his old self. Or is he?
    7,287 words · 3,368 views  ·  517  ·  8
  • E Old Habits

    It's Nova's first official day off, and he's decided to spend it in one place he knows he can relax: the Canterlot Bazaar. But when he has an unexpected encounter with a face from his past, can he face the pony he once was?
    19,698 words · 851 views  ·  165  ·  1
  • T The Dusk Guard: Rise

    Steel Song is a lot of things. Earth pony. Uncle. Professional bodyguard. Retired. So when he receives a mysterious package from Princess Luna, he's understandably apprehensive. Things are never as they seem in Equestria...
    274,966 words · 3,556 views  ·  406  ·  7
  • T Carry On

    Sometimes the hardest thing to do isn't completing the mission, it's coming home again. For Dusk Guard member Sky Bolt, the mission was a complete success. Everything went perfectly. So why can't she sleep?
    18,257 words · 1,133 views  ·  192  ·  2
  • T Emoticon

    It's Steel Song's day off, and he's got plans. Plans of the relaxed sort. Plans that most definitely do not involve a strange, brown earth pony who acts like he's known Steel for years. And why is he running, anyway?
    10,199 words · 795 views  ·  143  ·  2

Blog Posts214

  • Monday
    Sick Day Post

    Well, I'm still sick. Which is kind of ... wow. Whatever this is, I've had it for just over a week now, which is ridiculously long. It kind of reminds me of Bronchitis, except not as nasty. Then again, the last time I had Bronchitis I happened to have Strep Throat at the same time, which led me to coughing so hard I blacked out.

    Yeah, that wasn't fun. Regardless, whatever I've got now is pretty stubborn, but it's not that bad. And thanks to some Nyquil I was finally able to get some good, solid sleep last night. But, I'm still sick. I'm not entirely better yet. And so today I'm putting off the weekly writing guide post. Sorry guys.


    But all is not lost! See, I actually need some new topics anyway. Right now I'm down to four:

    Pacing

    Killing Characters

    Developing Villains

    What was done right with Guardians of the Galaxy Hint, it's a lot.

    That last one will have spoiler issues, obviously. So if you somehow haven't seen Guardians yet (for shame!) then either skip that one when it arrives or be prepared to have one of the better movies out there this year spoiled.

    But that's only four current topics. Which means I need to expand my list once more. So if you've got something about writing you'd like to me to discuss at some point, post it in the comments! I'm now open for suggestions!

    And lastly, last week I mentioned to some of you that the newest chapter of Arad's "Mente Materia," a bonus chapter detailing the post-crossover story's aftereffects in-universe, probably seemed a bit familiar to most of you. And some of you immediately called it. I wrote it. It was a guest chapter. Arad and I worked out a few details it could and couldn't cover and then I put the chapter together. As for why it wasn't credited, well, Arad and I decided not to credit for a week or so, to see what kind of reaction was had—and to see what a few specific fans would say. Because there's been a few readers of Arad's stuff that wouldn't stop slamming my stuff every time it came up, complete with commentary about how terrible a writer I was compared to Arad and how he shouldn't be bothering promoting my stuff. So I suggested we pull a switcheroo and see if those few readers could put their money where their large mouths were. Plus, it'd be fun to write some fanfic not so tightly steeped in Dusk Guard lore (it was very relaxing to be able to not have to worry about my spiderweb for once).

    Anyway, end result? Those few readers couldn't tell the difference. Don't mess with authors, people. We've got tools at our disposal for striking back. :scootangel:

    Anyway, onto the week! It's time to bundle up and kick this cough OUT!

    5 comments · 52 views
  • Friday
    Sick Week

    So, what's new?

    Don't get sick, that's what. I managed to pick up a sore throat that messed up my voice and then turned into a cough that was not only keeping me up till the wee hours of the morning, it was giving me a nice headache and bit of grogginess that made work all but impossible for a day or two. So I'm about 12,000 words behind on my quota. I basically almost lost a week. Boo.

    On the plus side, a new Smash Brothers came out, and I did manage to use the sick time not only to do some worldbuilding for Shadow of an Empire, but to get the last bit of editing done for both for "Remembrance" and ... well, I'm still working on a title for Dawn's side story. Anyway, point is they're BOTH going up soon. All I need now are the covers. As soon as I get those, we'll have a release date. Which will be pretty cool, because I'll be releasing BOTH stories simultaneously, and then uploading the chapters according to a timetable. I'm trying something a little new since both of them take place at the same time. Maybe I can grab two feature box spots at once!

    Anyway, just a quick update. Trying not to cough up my lungs. Sound like I'm going through puberty again. Enjoying the new Smash brothers.

    Oh, and in case you missed it, the newest bonus chapter of Arad's "Mente Materia" is out, and it might seem a little ... familiar to you guys.

    8 comments · 46 views
  • 1w, 1d
    Being a Better Writer: Character Descriptions

    Late update today. I'm battling a sore throat, so I'm trying give myself the sleep I need to drive it back. My voice sounds weird right now.

    Anyway, today's topic inspired was by a bit of a firestorm I saw with regards to a story that someone had written. And while the firestorm in question will definitely not be the subject of today's post, nor do I wish to get into that as it is an entirely separate topic, today's topic will brush up against it for a brief moment.

    Today, I'm going to talk about character descriptions.


    Character descriptions are something that every new writer struggles with, and often many somewhat experienced writers as well. Because when we get right down to it, character descriptions fall into one of those writing areas where no one teaches you how to do it, and everyone assumes that it's fairly straightforward and to the point. "You shouldn't need to be taught about this," the public mindset seems to say. "How hard can it be? You just describe your character!"

    Well, as it turns out, and as most new writers discover when they put their pencil to paper for the first time, describing your characters is much more difficult than it appears. It's hard. Many writers, in a fit of panic (or without realizing it), will simply throw out a narrated description of basic looks—eye color, hair, figure, etc—and then just jump right into the story, without realizing how jarring and unappealing to the reader such a description is. Only upon going back do most of them realize how truly unappealing it is for a story to start off with "Bob was asian, five-foot-three-inches, with brown hair and brown eyes ... etc, etc." Only when they do realize how unappealing it is does the real panic set in, when they realize that they have no idea how to do any differently.

    Which is why I'm talking about this today. Because to many readers, how you describe a character can be a make-or-break point for the entire book. Young writers don't quite realize how important something as simple as a character description can be to the readers acceptance of a work. Plenty a time has been the moment when a reader has picked up a book, read only a few paragraphs, run across a poor character description, and put the book back on the shelf. Why? Because even if they don't consciously realize it, a poor character description is often an indicator of other problems with the book, be they weakness of story, poor attention to detail, or just in general a low quality read.

    Yikes. Suddenly the amount and care for detail you put into your character description takes on a whole new level of importance, doesn't it? It might not just be something that's a nice part of your work, it's something that the very reading of your work may hinge upon.

    Kind of makes it important to get right.

    So, where do you start? How do you go about making sure that your character description is going to be something that keeps your reader flipping through your pages? Well, to start, you're going to need to know a few things about your work.

    Perspective and Voice

    First of all, what perspective is your book going to be using? You need to decide this and acknowledge it in your introduction of the character. Because trust me, very few things will make your reader put a book away like a narrative that jumps to an entirely different style or out of character to introduce someone. If you're going to write in first-person limited, you cannot jump to third person omniscient to introduce your character and then back (especially if you stay in character, with one very specific case exemption). It's horridly jarring.

    In other words, keep your introduction in perspective. This might seem obvious, but then again, I've seen numerous novice stories where the writers have made just this mistake without even realizing it. So first person stories stay first person with their character descriptions, and third-person stories stay in third person. Omniscient stays omniscient, limited stays limited. More on this in a bit when we get to the how.

    But before that, we also need to discuss voice. Voice is make-or-break with character description, though it matters more if your perspective is first person, as it's much more apparent. What is voice? Voice is how the character talks, speaks, and acts, and combined with perspective, breaking voice can be incredibly jarring to the reader. Let me show you want I mean through an example. Here we're going with a first-person, omniscient, direct perspective (ie, the character is telling you a story) and I'm going to give him a voice. Now let's watch what happens when I break that voice.

    It was a cold morning that morning, like most mornings were back then. Cold. Dark. Wet as a piss-poor boot on a rainy day. I still don't know why I bothered to get out of bed that morning. Maybe I was tired of rolling my face into that mildewed pillow over and over again. Maybe I though it'd be worth thinking about going to work. Or maybe I just wanted a nice, stiff, hot cup of coffee. Although in all likelihood, I'd only get one of those things. The local coffee shop was a right pisser when it came down to it: always busy, always getting your order wrong, and never happy to see you unless you were some well dressed posh boot-licker with a stick shoved up his backside. And that wasn't me.

    I'm nothing ordinary. I look very normal. I'm five-foot-two inches; so short. I have dark hair, usually unkempt, and I'm not particularly fit. I have blue eyes, a larger nose, and a bit of stubble around my strong jawline. I'm a bit on the thin side, and I'm usually listening to a pair of headphones.

    Ow, that actually took some work to force myself to write. But did you catch how jarring that was? We start off with this very well-defined voice, things are going great and then POW! The voice is gone. Instead we have bland, everyman description. We could have cut those details straight out of a character file and simply changed the perspective and tense to match the prior paragraph.

    And all I really did was change the voice. With the voice gone, the character's unique attitudes and perspectives either vanished or became flat. Would the one telling the story in the first paragraph have used the phrase "pair of headphones" or "a larger nose?" Not at all! He would have said something like "My nose has always been a bit on a ugly side, sort of like a squashed Mr. Potato Head has taken up residence on my face." Or something like that.

    While this may seem obvious, you'd probably be surprised how many new writers make this mistake, or worse, published writers. I've cringed at many a book (some of which were otherwise fine) where every time a new character came onto the scene the author would break perspective, character/narrator voice, or both when describing them. Crud, I've read one book (and this is a published, bestseller, more's the tragedy) where every new character completely broke perspective and voice, going from third-person limited to what was almost a direct, to-the-reader paragraph written by the author. It was bad. really bad. Then again, so was the rest of the book.

    So, keep perspective and voice in mind when it comes time to describe a character. Reread your descriptions later—out loud, if needed—to see if they flow with the rest of the story around it. If necessary, make changes. But of course, before you get started, here's something else to think about when it comes to character descriptions.

    Reason, Scene, and View

    Originally, view was going to be a different perspective form, but I figured that'd be too confusing. So we're going to go with Scene, View, and Reason. Because as important as perspective and voice is, there are other things to consider when introducing a character.

    Reason is the first thing you should consider. It's AMAZING how many authors mess this up, but let's think about this for a moment. Say your character is in a firefight. Things are exploding, the situation looks bleak—and suddenly a new character bursts onto the scene to save the day, midst gunfire and explosions. Now, how much reason at all does the main character have to give a detailed description of the character in question, considering they're trying not to die? Very little. And in such a scene, certain details are going to be much more important to the character than others.

    Even outside of limited perspective writing, don't make the mistake of thinking you can just drop all the details on the reader. Pacing (something I should do a post on later) is incredibly valuable. Dropping a full description of a character into the middle of a climactic scene? That pulls the reader out of the scene and ruins the pacing. So every time you think to describe a new character, don't hesitate to ask what reason you have for doing so in the first place, and what reason you have for writing the details that you do. Please, do not be the author who pulls us out of a story talking about the new female characters cup size and tight, slap-worthy behind. You'd better have a darn good reason for that aside from personal appeal.

    Even with your viewpoint character, you need reason. A lot of newbie writers just make the assumption that a character who's starring in the story should be described immediately, but that's not really true. How many of you wake up and then do a mental catalog of all your features? Maybe if you're a narcissist, or if you've got a reason to care about one particular aspect or feature for some reason, then yes, you'd think about it. But how many of you do a daily rundown?

    You don't. Reason. Sure, you can hand-wave it, but that pulls the reader out. Give your character a reason (such as the "looking in a mirror" character description trope. Or better yet, just let the description come naturally with the elements of the story.

    Now scene. I touched on that above, but I'll go a bit further here. Remember your scene and the context therein, not just with regards to emotion and events, but things in the room. It's a bit jarring for characters to react in random ways ith character descriptions that aren't contextually related to the scene around them. Use the scene to let your character's looks be known. For example, when Steel dunks his head in the water barrel at the beginning of Rise, the resulting splash and description of him cooling off also describes much of his body type and coloration, easing the reader into a natural picture of what he looked like (this was also something that a certain well-known fic site's pre-reader disliked to an incredible degree—they actually demanded I dump it and just start with a generic, straight description, one more reason I view them as about as competent as a bunch of kindergartners when it comes to fic work).

    Lastly, view. This is a subtext of voice, really. Basically, what it asks is that when you describe a character, make sure that you're doing it not just from the proper perspective, but with their view. What's important to the describer? What details would they notice that are both important to them and also useful to the reader? This can really flavor your book, your characters, and most often seems to become a stumbling point when a writer writes a gender aside from their own. I think we can all see where that goes.

    Point is, your character's viewpoints matter when describing someone. They might see things through a lens that isn't fully correct, or view motivations falsely. This is entirely fair, and we shouldn't be afraid to pull punches when this happens. Even if the reader disagrees with an observation a character makes, it tells them something about both characters.

    The Details Themselves

    All right, we've talked about everything else up to this point to set the stage. Now let's talk about the nitty-gritty specifics with all that other stuff in context.

    First of all, you don't need to describe everything. Remember the lessons above, but also take in this bit of wisdom: A perfectly visualized character often is not a perfectly described one. This is because like characters, we often remember and fixate on specific details rather than the whole. A mark of clever, experienced writing often is that when describing characters, the author will give you just enough specific details to get your attention, but let you fill in the rest of the details. Let us take Harry Potter, for instance. What specific details were we given about Snape? If you're like me and most readers, you remember that he was thin, gaunt perhaps, and that he had greasy hair and a greasy nose. JK Rowling didn't dump many other details (at least, not that I recall right away). She gave you just enough to envision him, and envision him you did.

    Stephen King is a master of this. Go ahead, reread one of his works and pay attention to the details he offers. They often aren't many, no more than three or four details that interestingly enough can paint a very broad picture. And yet when reading his books, readers praise the descriptive characters and how well they can envision them. Despite the fact that he's only giving you a few direct details.

    Tricky, tricky, Mr. King. You knew exactly what you were doing too. Giving the reader the details that were important to know or to visualize, and then letting all the other blanks just sort of fill themselves in.

    Perspective matters again here, as different characters will observe different things, and here's where we get to the elephant in the room: race.

    Unfortunately, race (in America) has become a sort of screwed up version of "The game." Basically, if you mention it, everyone loses.

    Uh-oh. It's sad, but true. There is literally no good way to tackle this that will please everyone. In a country where you can be publicly blasted for "not being (insert race here) enough" and race and culture have become so hopelessly intertwined as to be indistinguishable to most people, character race is basically an open invitation for an absolute crap-storm of rage to descend on your work.

    And nobody wants that. So how do you dodge it?

    First, never—and I mean never—unless you have a very character-specific point to raise, begin a character description with "they were -insert race here-." Seriously, do not. That is the path of the crap-storm, because the moment you use any sort of racial identifier, anyone who at all has any baggage attached to whatever identifying word you used will unzip it and set up shop. And every word thereafter will be, unfortunately, picked through by that entire baggage set's personal handlers, who will interrogate everything you write to look for "problems."

    Yeah, seeing the issue here? Don't use racial terms.

    Do you even need to? Well, actually ... No. No you don't. First of all, culture and "race" are two distinct things but slammed together in the modern world climate. And you don't need to directly address either in order to describe a character.

    Think back to what I said about Stephen King's writing, or Rowling. Drop the details people need. You don't have to say "I'm Hawaiian." You can have a character mention that they grew up in Laie, Hawaii. Or you can observe that they have tanned, tough skin.

    Truth is, you can dodge a lot of the controversy just by giving the important details. Maybe hair color. Or the tint of their skin. And none of these are declarative statements of race. It's tricky, but in the modern climate, it's something you just have to deal with.

    Summary

    In conclusion, when describing characters, think about perspective and voice. Then bring that into play with the reasons, the scene, and the view of the character. Then, lastly, consider which details are important. Do this, paint the scene, and walk away with a character description so natural it'll seem like your reader really knows them.

    Good luck! See you all next week!

    12 comments · 170 views
  • 1w, 4d
    Whoa. Correia Takes the SJW Movement to Task

    I know, I've been quiet lately. I've been trying to finish up the first draft of Colony (which is in the final act now, finally), and that's kept me pretty busy. Hunter's story is getting its editing pass this weekend (so ... tomorrow, actually, dang) and will start going up not long after I work out the cover details.


    Anyway, before I get back to work, I just wanted to share a link. This link, specifically. It's from Larry Correia's blog, and it's sort of a summation, a "why I do this," of sorts. And it tackles, of all things, the SJW insanity and how it's been hurting writing.

    Thing is, I feel he makes some incredibly good point. Correia's been fighting this fight for a while, and he's never been shy to point how foolish an opponent's arguments are. With this post, he summed up just about everything distubing that's been permeating the writing culture, and in a very blunt, to the point sort of way.

    Warning: It IS blunt. But sometimes bluntness is needed, and in this case, I happen to think Correia is entirely correct.

    I'd prefer not to kick off a firestorm of controversy in the comments, and with this one, that's a possibility. So in the event you want to weigh in on this, remember the rules of my comment threads, please: No cursing. Be considerate and well-spoken. Don't resort to nastiness, bile, or any of the other typical, less-astute methods of conversation seen around the internet.

    Anyway, I need to get back to work! This book needs to get done!

    13 comments · 192 views
  • 2w, 1d
    Being a Better Writer: Character Versus Plot

    Character Versus Plot: What's Driving Your Story?

    Today we're going to talk about a lesser-considered aspect of storytelling and writing. I've bandied about with a few different introductions to the concept and summarily discarded all of them, so instead I'm just going to jump right in and tackle things.

    Effectively—and understand that I am for the purposes of today's concept, grossly simplifying—every story out there, written, told, or seen, rides a sliding scale into one of two categories: They're either a character-driven piece or a plot-driven piece. That's it. These are your options, and understanding which your story is going to be, as well as more importantly, how to achieve this, will play a part in determining the success of your work.

    Okay, some of you are nodding, some of you are confused, a few are wondering where I'm going with this. So let's look into this one a little more deeply.


    We'll start with the underlying concept behind these two options: All stories are driven by something. Now, when I say that a story is driven by something, I don't mean the antagonist, or the inciting incident, or even the growth of the character. What I'm referring to by driven is the events or actions by which the story is pulled forward.

    Bilbo leaving Frodo the ring, for example, is something that pulls the story forward. Harry receiving a letter from Hogwarts. Vin being noticed by Kelsier. A story is, in it's purest, simplified form, a collection of events. But something inside the story must happen in order for these events to occur. Cause and effect.

    What I'm discussing today is the method by which the story moves forward. Is it character-derived, or plot-derived?

    I see a few of you are still scratching your heads. The simplest, easiest way to describe this idea is to ask what causes the story to continue forward. Is it the characters? Or is it some force outside of the characters? Is the story moving forward because of my characters actions and choices, or is it moving forward because it needed to move forward so something happened?

    Both types of story exist (and, as one would expect, most stories are a blend of both, weighted in one direction or the other). Thriller novels, for example, tend to be driven more often by their plots than by their characters. Events that move the story forward are "Acts of God" or other higher powers which exist for the sole purpose of dragging the characters along from scene to scene. The writer wants a car chase to happen? So he funnels the story towards that end, placing the characters in a situation where there is only one possible answer—car chase.

    Stories that focus more on character, however, take a different route. Rather than plot-based forces pulling the story forward, these are stories in which the characters choices are what move things along. Rather than outside occurrences forcing a character to engage in a car chase, this will be a story where the character is given valid options and then chooses to engage in the car chase.

    Now, I'm certain a lot of you are simply nodding and thinking to yourselves "Well of course, that makes sense." And yes, it does. But now we need to consider this question: Which one are you writing?

    Because to tell the truth, while your works will undoubtedly have both aspects included in them, each story you write is going to gravitate towards one type or the other, and understanding and acknowledging this in advance will make your work much easier.

    For example, take my work on Colony. Colony is a much less character driven work than my last few stories, and it took me a while to realize it (downside of pantsing the story). Much of the major events that control the story are driven not by the characters choices (with a few exceptions), but rather by outside, plot-driven forces. None of the character's ever wanted to go to the colony world of Pisces, for example. Instead, they're press ganged into it by a powerful megacorportation who, while offering them a substantial monetary reward for carrying out their task, really doesn't give them much in the way of a choice. The other options are so unappealing that it's very clear to the characters and the reader that the only recourse is to accept the job and head for Pisces.

    There are other events like this in Colony. But for Colony as a story, that's all right, because the focus isn't the character driven elements, it's how the characters react to being thrown into these situation, and the situations themselves.

    Another example of a plot driving: Everyone's favorite, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Harry never chooses to be a wizard and start receiving letters from Hogwarts. The letters simply start arriving one day. And then, characters with power outside of Harry's control determine the reaction (taking the letters away, nailing the letterbox shut, and fleeing to a cabin on an island). Much of the driving force of The Sorcerer's Stone for the first "act," in fact, is not character based at all. Harry is pretty much dragged along up until the setting has been introduced, at which point he starts making conscious choices of his own (befriending Ron, for instance, or helping take down a troll).

    Come to think of it, The Sorcerer's Stone is probably a pretty good example of the two types and how to juggle them, as the first half of the story is mostly Harry being dragged from point to point, while only after he acclimates to the new setting does he really start making choices that move the story forward.

    Knowing which particular style your story is going to serve as the primary driving force of your story before you start will do wonders for how your story turns out. For instance, if you want to write a deep, character focused drama with introspective characters coming to grips with their own lives ... and then create a story that is entirely driven by the plot and not by that character, the entire theme and objective of your work will be weakened. Likewise, if you want to write a rollicking action story that never stops, but choose to have much of the story driven by the characters, you're putting a lot of weight on those characters to make the choices that will continually keep the action-ball rolling. Sure, it can be done, but it's not easy, especially if those characters start trying to make decisions that would pull away the action-adventure focus.

    What does this mean for you? Well, that you need to make a choice before you get too far into any work about exactly which driving force you want to be in control of your story, and then think ahead to how that's going to change your story. Can you count on your characters to make certain decisions to move the story in the right direction? Or will you need an exterior force, a plot moment, to take control and move things forward? How will it change your story to have such a force interacting with your characters? Will it put the reader's focus in the wrong area? Will it detract from the theme or moral of your work? A story in which the theme or moral is that we always have a choice, for example, would be rendered ironic by a story in which everything was driven entirely by the plot rather than the characters.

    Conscious acknowledgment of what drives our story can be a powerful tool in forming a strong narrative and focus for the reader. For example, look at the storyline of Bioshock. One of Bioshock's greatest storytelling powers was it's insistence that the character was the one making the decisions, that the character was driving the story. Only when you reached the twist did you learn that everything the character had gone through was in fact, not a character decision, but the plot dragging the character along and convincing him that their choices were their own when they were not. Bioshock's creators built up a powerful narrative based on what observers perceived was a character-driven story, and then brutally tore that construct away at a critical moment while showing the player how willing they had been to believe that it was all character rather than something orchestrated by others. Bioshock ended up being recommended in Time magazine partially because of how well its story juggled these two concepts.

    But that's pretty advanced use of such a tool, so don't expect to do something like that right away. In fact, don't expect to need to. What you should expect is to understand what drives the story of your own works. When you sit down at a keyboard or with a pen, ask yourself: What is going to drive this story? Are my characters subject to the whims of the plot? Do they choose their own path? How will this affect the story I have in mind? Will it make it less exciting? More exciting? Should I consider changing my focus between the two in order to strengthen an aspect or theme of my work?

    As with many things, either of these alone will not make or break your work. However, a firm understanding of how they work and what they can do for you will, with time, be part of the polish that grants your work an extra shine of quality.

    Good luck with your writing, and I'll see you all next week.

    12 comments · 198 views
  • ...
 23
 555

It's Hearth's Warming season and that means presents, caroling and—of course—making Hearth's Warming Cookies. But just what makes the cookies so important, anyway? Young Jammer Song is about to find out, as his uncle has brought somepony unexpected with him to help with the family's yearly tradition.

"This is 100% Approved by Twilight's Library!"

Added to Twilight's Library 1/14/2014

Just something I threw together over the last two days for Christmas. Enjoy.

Uses characters from and is part of The Dusk Guard.

First Published
24th Dec 2013
Last Modified
24th Dec 2013
#1 · 48w, 20h ago · · ·

Spotted a typo:

Well, I guess I can ask him while we’re making cookings

:derpytongue2:

#2 · 48w, 20h ago · · ·

That was sweet

#3 · 48w, 14h ago · · ·

>>3675826

Fixed. Thanks.

#4 · 48w, 13h ago · · ·

Sweet little story and as for the spoilers, I think most of us could tell that the Dusk Guard would somehow be involved when the Crystal Empire reappears.

I think I spotted one or two minor typos but there was something else, gnawing at the back of my mind, that made me ignore them, sorry.

Wasn't the filly's name SparkleR? :applejackunsure:Could be wrong but wanted to bring it up nonetheless.

Happy Hearthswarming

#5 · 48w, 12h ago · · ·

>>3677107

Naw, it's Sparkle. Glad you enjoyed!

#6 · 48w, 6h ago · · ·

Very nice! Especially at the end, there! I'm recently warming up to cute father-son stories :twilightsmile:

#7 · 45w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

Two things:

Thing one:

Ahuizotl was standing on end of the coffee-table, his arms spread wide, a fierce grin on his muzzle as he faced down Wonderbolt members Soarin and Spitfire.

Thing two:

Dawwwwwwwwww

Bonus thing:

Have a thumb.

#8 · 45w, 8h ago · · ·

Hah!  I really liked the way this story was told, it really warms the heart.

Wear it with pride, sir.  You earned it;

-Lumino

#9 · 45w, 4h ago · · ·

>>3788266

Yahoo! Twilight's Library!

I'm glad you enjoyed this. Good to hear I hit the feels.

#10 · 44w, 2d ago · · ·

That was great. I'll admit I was hoping the guest would be Cappy, but I'm not going to complain.

#11 · 43w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

I enjoyed this quite a bit, thanks for the read!

#12 · 43w, 5d ago · · ·

>>3835146

I'm glad you liked it. :twilightsmile: Feel free to check out my other works if you like the style as well. They're not as "daww" as this, but they're written with the same level of care!

>>3811844

Cappy already had plans with Summer and the rest of her friends in Canterville. Had the story continued to the carols however, she would have shown up. :pinkiesmile:

#13 · 43w, 5d ago · · ·

>>3835270

I'll take a look at them, though I have allot on my plate.  So It might take some time.

#14 · 28w, 1d ago · · ·

What is it that makes unicorn children making food and interacting with their parents so adorable?! I think it might have something to do with being inexperienced with magic. Would it have the same impact with pegasi? I must do science to this at some point...

Loved the story, and the world building was great as well. Onto the next one!

#15 · 28w, 1d ago · · ·

Rough? Unpolished? Sugary? Features a little experimentation?

Sounds like a Hearth's Warming Cookie, alright. :twilightsmile: At least the ones around my place.

Smart Cookie made cookies with ponies cutie marks on them and then gave them to other ponies, asking them to find the pony that matched the cutie mark and give the cookie to them. Ponies did, because they respected Smart Cookie, and in the process, some of them got to know the ponies they were giving the cookies too, further helping bring Equestria together.

The concept of Cutie Mark Cookies is so marvelous that I couldn't help but grin throughout the entire last half. I also liked how much character you were able to give Smart Cookie in this one paragraph. There's a desire to bring ponies together, and there's a feeling of authority to her.

which puts this little tale between books three and four.

Between three and four of the full-length books, I presume? Judging by the fact that neither Strength nor Habits mentions the Crystal Empire in their descriptions, anyways. :twilightblush:

#16 · 27w, 17h ago · 1 · ·

ah! right in the feelings!!

#17 · 24w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

“I…” Nova looked down at his spread of cookie dough, the cutters coming down once more in perfect unison. “I was an asset relocation engineer.” Jammer frowned at the unfamiliar words.

“A what?” he asked as his uncle let out a snort.

“That’s more than one question,” Nova said, shaking his head.

That was hilarious!:rainbowlaugh:

You are the top one of my three favorite FIMfiction authors alongside Pen Stroke & Arad

#18 · 23w, 1d ago · · ·

>>4378057

What is it that makes unicorn children making food and interacting with their parents so adorable?! I think it might have something to do with being inexperienced with magic. Would it have the same impact with pegasi? I must do science to this at some point...

If my plans for the future are anything, yes, both pegasus foals and earth pony foals will be adorable as well. Kids in general are awesome to write, because they hold onto that awesome sense of wonder and amazement at everything ... combined with flat-out blunt methodology and thought-processes that can lead to some hilarious actions.

I love kids. Kids are awesome. :pinkiehappy:

>>4382361

The concept of Cutie Mark Cookies is so marvelous that I couldn't help but grin throughout the entire last half. I also liked how much character you were able to give Smart Cookie in this one paragraph. There's a desire to bring ponies together, and there's a feeling of authority to her.

I was really pleased with that one, if you'll indulge my bragging a little. I needed a reason for ponies to have cookies at Hearth's Warming, got to thinking, and came up with something that was both plausible and worked great for the story I wanted to tell.

Between three and four of the full-length books, I presume? Judging by the fact that neither Strength nor Habits mentions the Crystal Empire in their descriptions, anyways.

Yes. While it was a quick one-shot, "Hearth's" place is between book three (tentatively titled "Hunter/Hunted") and book four (no title yet).

>>4420070

:pinkiehappy: Success!

>>4499645

You are the top one of my three favorite FIMfiction authors alongside Pen Stroke & Arad!

:pinkiegasp: There are not enough emoticon icons in the world to express how awesome this compliment was! Thank you!

#19 · 13w, 6d ago · · ·

>>4499645 yeah, he hit my fav writer at about 5 chapters into The Dusk Guard: Rise, although loyal2luna does take 2nd place easily. :twilightsmile:

i need to check out this Pen Stroke.

well, this was a very nice chapter. we get foreshadowing galore. who will nova meet in the next book(s) that he'd give a cookie to? :rainbowhuh:

:yay: :rainbowkiss: :rainbowkiss: :twilightsmile: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache: 7.8/10 and a :heart: for all the dawwwwww.

#20 · 13w, 5d ago · · ·

>>4883085

You've never heard of Pen Stroke!? He's one of the most popular writers on this website with 6,225 followers last time I checked and my favorite author before I found out about the Dusk Guard. Well on the other hand, I didn't know about him for a couple months when I first started coming to this site. I'll go ahead and check out this Loyal2Luna. Sounds interesting.

#21 · 10w, 6d ago · 2 · ·

“Ask your mom what my old job means later, kid.” Jammer ducked the cookie beneath the counter as his mom turned and rolled her eyes at Nova.

I can't believe I didn't notice this at first! I wonder what Jammer's mom's response was.:rainbowlaugh:

#22 · 4w, 1d ago · · ·

making Christmas cookies of my own (the genesis of the idea) and everything else Christmas-related with my family.

Pardon me for trespassing upon your private matters, but could you please elaborate on this a bit more? I can't seem to understand what would make a cookie unique to a specific person, given that cutie marks don't exist IRL.

Thank you in advance!

#23 · 4w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

>>5191874 Um ... nothing spectacular. We just make and then decorate a bunch of Christmas cookie plates to give out every Christmas. Sometimes a few will end up highly individualized (like a Metroid cookie), but for the most part it's just cookie decoration.

So no cutie marks, but sometimes skills.

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