After an unexpected game night with Rainbow Dash, Spike decides it's time to man up and ask Rarity out. But what happens to Spike when she rejects him? Spike ends up going into a depression.
I added the Gore and Dark tags for some reasons that are explained.
*see blog post* (sorry, I can't link it)
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I'm liking this so far, it needs some editing of course,but I'm not gonna call you out on it. All in all, I like where you're headed with this, and I'd love for you to continue.
Thanks alot! Also, thanks for the fave!
It's good, you should keep writing!
3626468
Im lannibg on it. its just that penad paper is different than here.
planning*
I love this fanfic so far!
3629627
Thanks I'm glad you do.
I have one question, this goin to be a Flutterspike fic?
also, good history.
P.S. Sorry for the bad english, is not my native languaje
3631570
It's possible
Also, it's okay. Mine is also very bad and im american.
MAKES YOU STRONGA, STAND A LITTLE TALLA!
Im sorry, I just had to.
i was actually thinking of that song coming up with the name and it fit perfectly.
Dang Fluttershy!
MOAR
3633913
I plan on it. Tomorrow (most likely.) if not, definitely Tuesday.
Well I am interested in where this is leading, but the grammar and the fact that it seemed too rushed makes it hard to keep reading. Since it's only the first chapter, I'll continue to see how it goes, hoping you pace the story and find a good editor.
I can't really say it was rushed here. There wasn't anything to leave between the lines for me, so Ill say it's a good chapter. Grammar is slightly better too. Time to read on! XD
3637377
My grammar isn't because I have bad grammar, its that mydevices keyboard is terrible. I try alot to fix my grammar and go through what I say and fix it. And trying to find an editor using this would be terrible. Also, Im sorry you find it rushed in the first chapter.
3637377
Like that. I didnt intentially submit that. Anyway, on paper, its all planned out how I wanted, but had to combine chapters. I tried to drag out chapters, but couldn't succeed very well.
Rushed but you recognized it. You can always go back and re-edit it. Decent grammar tho.
Aww poor spike...
It seems you weren't afraid to get into the dark parts of life. It's really sad when big parts of your life turn out to be a big flop. Just thinking about it makes you want to cry... This story shows lots of emotions. Good job! It's a really interesting story. I'm not sure if that 'Gore' part would count as gore, but I guess that was for the younger audiences.
3638182
thanks alot!
also, i know alot of adults with weak stomachs, so, i added it just in case
so spike a cutter and fluttershy emotionally unstable they'll be the best couple ever couple ever
3638530
Well... Spike being a cutter...yeah about that
3638557 im fine with it, im surprised more people don't do it in their stories he has all the makings to be a cutter or a least have self harming thoughts
3638587
Myabe, somene could make a group with depressing/suicidal/cutting stories. Im surpised there isnt as many either.
3639116 i just made a group it actually dedicated to anti-sparity but those types of stories could go there spike gets rejected by rarity and there you go instant cutter im surprised there aren't more either none of the main six are perfect twilight has ocd and is a perfectionist rarity is to but to a lesser degree and she's overly dramatic pinkie and fluttershy are emotionally unstable and rainbow and aj are perfectionist and highly competitive
3639161
yay new group! but, im not really against sparity. its not my otp, but youll see i fit in some secret sparity.
3639346
I toats agree with you there!!!!
I'm loving this story, can't wait for the next chapter. Which I hope you'll make longer?... Sorry but when I really like a story I dun like when I have to stop reading, especially so quickly. Other than that, this chapter was awesome, keep it up.
An emo Spike? Weird...
I like it. But you need a proofreader.
3659152
its a long, complicated process called the past. and maybe to you its weird. there are people everyday who do this to themselves because of something bad happening to them. its not good but it happens.
3659122
Ooh gurl
I try to make them longer, trust me, the orginal story is 100 words a page. at least.
im trying to make it longer its just i didnt expect it like words i thought it was characters.
thanks too!
3659228
The whole concept isn't weird, just Spike being one is. I know how this situation is and how things like this affect people... Trust me, I know, but I was just referring to Spike.
3659228 please put this story here http://www.fimfiction.net/group/201509/folder/22487/1/self-harm it's to good not to be i'm begging you
Add another chapter soon I want to know what happens next
3659255
Ooh. well that makes sense okay i see the light.
3659952
i will try my hardest.
troll.me/images/moar/please-sir-can-i-have-some-moar.jpg
nice chapter also did you get the message
3671974
thanks
also yes. i didnt want to though.
3672150 that's fine
Nice chapter. A few errors, but overall a good one. Keep it up.
Great il keep my eye on it i wish u wuldnt rush it
And skip words though all in all good
ALRIGHT,
I'M READY FOR IT,
BRING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
im not sure why but this song perfectly describes this story to me
just replace he with she
CLIFFHANGER!!!!!
Oh well. Keep up the good work! Great story!
Hmmm Spike got a crush on Rarity, well, okay. Now Fluttershy... ahum... well, okay.
Fluttershy YELLING to Rainbow? That's pretty out of character. Just to point out.
And I'm smelling a possible Mary-Spike-Stu. But we'll see in next chapters.
I like it alot but how do you put ponyfaces in tge comments?