Hearths Warming Butterflies

It's Hearths Warming Eve and Pinkie threw a Heaths Warming Eve party! After Spike learned Rarity didn't share feelings, he takes an interest on the beautiful Fluttershy.

-No connection with What Doesn't Kill You
-One shot Hearths Warming story

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 8 )

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DARKPHANTOM13

DARKPHANTOM13 #1 · Dec 17th, 2013 · 5 · ·

This is a nice and simple FlutterSpike story.

XineLegacy

XineLegacy #2 · Dec 17th, 2013 · 2 · ·

The dialogue towards the beginning between Spike and Fluttershy felt a little forced.

It was long and romantic, and Spike loved every minute of it.

Erm, perhaps a bit more description there?

"Fluttershy, I have something to tell you."
"So do I Spike, but, you can go first."

Was a little cliché.

This is definitely the best Flutterspike one-shot I have read thus far. Actually, I've only read one or two others so I guess that doesn't mean much.
All in, this was a great fic. I loved the flow of events, especially the 'getting warm' scene.

"Should we go back inside, Spike?" Fluttershy asked.
"Do you want to go back inside?" Spike asked her, looking her in tbe eyes.
"N-No. I'm so warm out here with you, and I don't ever want to leave."
"Then we don't have to." Spike took his gaze from Fluttershy back to the fire.
Fluttershy cuddled up in his arms some more as they watched the fire burn.

SO. CUTE.

But then, Twilight came outside. Holding something hanging from a stick over their heads.
It was mistletoe.
"A-heeem." Twilight hummed to them.

Shouldbbe a comma, not a period, between the first two sentences. The third sentence could have been structured better (a little description, slow realisation etc.), but I loved this part. Good 'ol Twilight, always there to help out. Spike's gotta thank her later on.