Lt. Tom Johnson must make a life or death decision. Will he jump into the magic portal with his squad or will he face the oncoming Elites? (Halo) You will find out when you read the story of Nightshade Squad. Not only does Nightshade meet lots of friends along the way, but how will they take it when they find out why they are there?
Image credit: Mackaged, on deviantART. I strongly suggest you look at his other works. In my opinion he is a great artist.
Warning: Strong Language!
Spoiler: If you do not know what Red vs Blue is then you will be very confused.
Edited by: Brandedahall
Chapters (14)
Could use a good bit of work, a spit and polish, more work and polish, a good bit of research into how Plasmatic weaponry works in the Halo Universe(and plasma bullets is highly inaccurate as that would imply a solid or liquid metal projectile incased in a superheated plasma 'shell' i'll let this slide since UNSC Marines and the like aren't necessarily scientifically inclined but it should be said that they are far from uneducated or ignorant of the basics of how Covenant/Covenant Separatist/Storm Covenant weaponry works.) and also a lot of research into the actual Halo lore.... Look i'm not saying it's bad because it certainly has potential and the grammar and spelling are structurally sound as far as I can tell... Though the reactions and interactions toward the humans seem either forced or not 'flighty' enough considering the reaction Ponies had to Zecora, three heavily armed and armored humans plus one more in a Mantis would probably cause a full blown panic/stampede/retreating riot.
Like I said, Potential but needs a good bit of work. I'll follow to see where it goes but I don't have high hopes unless the 'lore-friendliness' as it's called improves.
3575961
I'll get there don't worry.
I haven't gotten to the reactions yet silly
Moves really fast but it's good.
3575978 glad to here. If you need any help with the Lore you can consult me since I play Halo regularly and reread the books on a regular basis as well so I have a rather good handle on it. Just PM me and I can give you a full summarry of the lore bits that are bugging the buck out of me.
3575999
I'm not trying to give out a full spoiler but you will honestly be surprised with what I will try to do in chapter 2 and those of you who worry it moves to fast, you better hold onto something when I finish chapter 2.
'Cuse me, where'd you get that pic?
Also the Mantis would need a pilot or a rc starter and with the current covenant/human war but I'm guessing that's over have you forgotten halo 3 (yes in halo 4 the covenant are siding with the promethians but only because they think there god they made WMD the halo rings) the elites sided with the humans because the result in halo 2 the brutes over taking the elites caused a civil war the elites when face between the humans would most likely still be trused or the profits have posesed the power (after the arbiter) to perswayed the Elites or shangeli to rejoin there side but in which case is not likely after the chief killed all but on Profit in the series. Also the human/pony interactment could use some fine tuning such as if three talking pints showed up at your door, what would you do? Also most of the plasma weapons are electrical or use needles filled with energy when there a multiple in the same proximity the cause a subsonic reaction causing an overload thus causing a small but deadly exsplosin if the needles do not kill the host first. Also I am wondering what time is this taking place I'm guessing around 10 years after Spartenn 117 has destroyed all the ring and is a hero and finally F'in shows his face.
There for not saying its bad just need to get some facts straightened and some lore right and you be good.
(my apologies for any spelling errors it's about 3am have not sleeper in about 2 days an am using a 2003 iPod touch so all the new words arn't in it's dictionary)
~SkyDaz
Man... If there is one thing bad that stood out amongst the rest in this chapter... It was Rainbow Dash. The portrayal of her in this is just atrocious.
1. Why was she out kicking clouds in the middle of the night?
2. Why does she instantly trust the humans completely? If I remember correctly, she is, besides Applejack, the most bullheaded pony of the 6 of them. She wouldn't just give up her suspicions automatically just because Applejack, for almost no reason, I might add, trusts them.
3. Even she is smart enough not to get in bed with an alien that she barely even knows. This guy could have been a complete psychopath and she wouldn't have known. And besides that, she would have known that she'd have been caught.
4. When she actually was in bed with him. "I have never felt so protected." Rainbow is the LAST pony who would think of needing protection. Her pride wouldn't allow letting someone else protect her... And from pretty much nothing, I might add.
This has many other problems, like how OOC Twilight is acting, but Rainbow was the biggest issue I had with this.
This story definitely needs tweaking... And research should be done, as well.
3576648
Look I'm sorry if you don't like it, however, this is chapter 1 there is still more too come. That being said I will take all considerations so far and put them into chapter 2. Happy now?
3576344
I have but only one response to that. Watch season 11 of Red vs Blue. That will show you all about the Mantis I am portraying.
This is the worst thing to ever happen. To fast, too hard to fallow, ands a new intro.
3577678 I see and I wachted every RvB there is man put Sheila in there lol one of my favs.
~SkyDaz
3578005
Your comment is invalid because you do not even know how to spell "follow".
3578342 Laugh out loud.
Well, since you seem to be ignoring me so I'm going to skip to my point:
You should really credit the original artist of pictures, esp. when said image was a commission that someone else paid for, i.e. me.
3578718
No idea what you are saying. The image was made by one of my friends. So I have full use over the image.
Well, I'm about to judge your story on the desc and cover-picture. I will, however, give you the final judgement later.
List of urchs
1. The Elites having been used for the forcing in the portal. Don't think Jackals or Grunts or weak compared to humans. In the games, you were an heavily-armored, augmented human who was made to kill. Not a marine. Also, the weaker units are the most common on battlefields, not Sangheili.
2. The Portal. I don't like it when magical portals are here, so it's not your fault. More of a preference for me.
List of the things I like
1. You're still a fairly new writer, so you still have much time to improve. From the comment section. people say your writing is too fast paced and unexplained.
3578811 That's not how it works. Even if it was "made by your friend," you still need to credit the creator of the image, since it isn't yours, or at least link the source.
3579812
It was recently brought to my attention that my "friend" had been passing this image off as his own for quite awhile. Full credit has been given to the real creator.
Can't wait for the next chapter! Keep up the good work!
Keep up the good work!
Hopefully chapter 2 explains the much needed info. Sorry for the time it took. I will try to upload faster. Merry Christmas Everypony!
3578895
Please read chapter 2 that will explain why the Elites went in instead of the smaller class.
Well your summary for the story, should include Halo in it. Because Elites (Aliens) does not cover it, if anything it should be Elites (Halo). Its a start, so can't give you much of a review. So best of luck.
Everything was funny and awesome... But being changed into ponies? LAME!!!
3771520
Awe, but there is so much mayhem you can cause as a pony. Trust me, I will not disappoint you in the funny department!
Spartan ponies... Meh.
Caboose obviously goes with either Pinkie or Fluttershy.( Probably Pinkie) Tom goes with Dash. Maybe Griff should tag along too since he's lazy and sleeps all the time. Tucker staying with Rarity could easily make room for lots of comedy! There's my input. As for relationships that's completely your call.
Jake and fluttershy. Church and Apple Jack. Sarge and Twilight Sparkle.
Can you add some sex in it. If you do that is going to be awesome.
3785331
I will, that teen rating won't be there for long!
3785357 Thanks
3785578
Hmm, any ideas with the sexual pairs? I can think of some but if you want a certain one, I can maybe do it.
3787136 Rainbow Dash and Tom. P.S can Tom have learned the cloud Walking spell.
Oh and can the cloud Walking spell be permanent.
3790091
Hmm, I'll see if Rainbow can steal Tom back!
3790627 Thanks
3790637
I'm not promising it though, I have to somehow make it believe able.
3790640 Can my oc be in the fanfic please
raritydespair::. and my oc's name is Whiteshield Cat
3796407
Sure! Send me her/his info. Like colors height and biography (how it acts). Send me that in a private message please.
3893912
It's most likely going to be for sex.
3893943
You will never see anything anthro from me. I am totally against it. I prefer the normal pony form. I feel you on that.
3897750
That's one!
Change it into mature. oh and thanks.
3899633
Did I do her well enough? You didn't really give me much on her personality so I guessed.
3902036 Yes you did a great job with my oc.
3902157
Ok thanks, by the way, there is new cover art and I got around to changing it to mature.
3902172 get back to work. I need more caboose