Caboose squealed happily somehow already used to his new body. "I'm a pony! I'm a pony!" Celestia couldn't help but smile at his reaction to her spell, however, she frowned on how everypony else was taking it.
"Now," Celestia said, "you are going to live with the Elements of Harmony until I figure out what I want to do with you".
"Who the fuck are the Elements of Harmony?"
"Twilight Sparkle, the owner of the library, she found you. She is the Element of Magic. Applejack, worker at Sweet Apple Acres is the Element of Honesty. She continued with the rest of the Elements but Church could really couldn't give two shits about it. He was more worried on how he could move his body. Out of the corner of his eye he caught something that made him sigh in frustration. He had two foreign limbs attached to his back.
"What the fuck," Church said slowly. When Sarge looked at his enemy/blue he laughed his ass off.
"Blue, I think something is wrong with your body, you seem to have grown some wings," Sarge said chuckling to himself.
"Shut it," Church growled. He around at the rest of the idiots in the room, 3 of them had turned into winged horses as well. He chuckled to himself when he saw Tucker struggling to get up.
"Hey dipshit, it's walking it's not that fucking difficult," Church then got up to try to walk but quickly lost balance and smashed his chin of the ground. "Fuck!"
"Who are you calling dipshit," Tucker smugly said back, happy Church had given him a moment to light up what just happened.
Not surprisingly the Mantis was the first to learn to stand up. He went around slowly to teach each of them to stand. When he got to Caboose, Caboose screamed.
"Freckles! Is that really you! OH MY GOD! I thought I lost you Freckles. Do you still remember your little hat?"
The robot stared blankly at Caboose not sure what he was talking about. "Caboose," He said in a deep voice, "If you friend was a robot like me then I can understand the confusion. I, however, have never met you".
Caboose looked away sadly then suddenly perked up. "I will call you Freckles Jr.!" The Mantis simply looked away shaking his head.
"Caboose leave the fucking robot alone. He has guns and I will not hesitate to tell him to use them on you". He instantly thought of what he said.
"Do you have guns?" Church turned his head quizzically.
"Yes, I still have them," Two slides slide away from his forelegs and a smaller machine gun and rocket launcher slid out.
"Good, you may have to shoot me soon before I shoot myself," Church nodded his now very heavy head in the direction of Caboose and chuckled. The robot looked back at Caboose and nodded.
When the Mantis had finally taught everyone how to stand Celestia looked at them with a smile on her face. "Welcome to the land of Equestria!" She said with a smile on her face.
"I consider it the land of "seriously fuck your shit up" kind of place. No sooner had he said that they all got teleported back to where they had been standing before.
They all began to try to walk in circles for a minute to get used to their new bodies while some of the ponies had not left from earlier. Church saw them staring.
"Who are you looking at asshole?" The pony quickly took the action as aggressive and ran in the other direction.
Twilight came outside and instantly felt better when she saw they had been turned to her kind.
"Who's this bitch?"
"Bow-chik-"
"For everything holy please shut the fuck up!"
"Fine asshole way to ruin the moment".
"Jesus Christ why am I still with these dumbasses?"
Twilight motioned for them to follow her inside. They got the doorway and all looked at each other. Tom tried to go up the steps and lost his balance falling backwards into Tucker.
"Hey watch where your going!"
"Tom feel free to hit him as hard as you would like".
"Gladly". Tom said with a smile. He lifted his foreleg up and jabbed it into Tucker's face. Tucker hit the ground with enough force to knock the wind out of him.
"What the fuck man? All I said was watch where you were going".
"Exactly dipshit don't give orders to him, you can however give orders to Caboose. That is if he's likely to listen".
"Grif get your lazy ass up!" Sarge yelled.
"Are we dead?"
"No".
"Then why did-" His eyes suddenly opened and he looked down at his body. "Dude who got me high? Am I drunk?"
"Neither," Sarge said with a smile.
"Oh shit! I'm a fucking horse! What the fuck guys? Next time do you want to wake me up? This is kind of important!".
"The only thing that is important is the day you die by the end of my shotgun!" He wanted that dream to become a reality. He smiled at the sight of him burying Grif's body.
"Protect me cone!" Grif yelped when a familiar looking figure came into view except she wasn't human.
"Holy shit!" Church yelped when he followed Grif's eyes.
"Nice to see you too Church," Tex grinned when she saw Church was also a horse. "Hey, you guys got fucked over by that bitch too?"
"Bow chika-" He was interrupted by a swift kick to the face Tex gave him. "Dammit Tex not even once huh?"
"No, not even once". She smiled but it wasn't friendly.
Twilight came back out to see what was taking them so long when she noticed there was another mare with the group. She didn't recognize her but the way she talked she had to know who the group was. She sighed at the fact she would have to look after another one of these aliens.
"Tex how in the fuck did you get here?"
"I was following you, and I was suddenly blind by a bright light and I ended behind you guys". She said sheepishly.
As much as Church was glad Tex was back he still didn't like having her around. She was a full out bitch 100% of the time. He, however, has the unfortunate circumstance that he was programmed to love her. With the Director gone Church didn't care what he was programmed to do.
"Hey, you guys should come inside," She said when she realized ponies were staring at the group. "You guys don't exactly fit in".
"Really? I thought we actually fit in!" Church said sarcastically. She didn't catch his sarcasm and stared at him for a second. They slowly got used to the steps and all of them filed inside sitting in an awkward circle.
"Princess Celestia said you all have to stay here until she believes you fit in. Meaning you have to get one of these". Twilight motioned towards her cutie mark.
"I have to get a girly tattoo on my ass?" Tucker whined.
"No, it shows your best skill. Anyway, you also have to learn to get along with the ponies in this area, if you as so much as reveal who you are or hurt somepony in any way there will be consequences," Twilight said sternly.
"And you thought I was a bitch," Tex whispered to Church.
"You still are," Church smiled back.
Tex fell silent knowing she couldn't argue anymore. Well she could but it would end in a couple broken bones.
Twilight continued to explain how she wanted each of them to act. Then explained that her friends will be coming and will pick who they want to stay with them. Each of them nodded reluctantly and fell silent.
"Tom?" Melissa asked.
"Yeah?"
"Do you trust these other soldiers?"
"To an extent yes," He chuckled.
Tom began to observe everyone's colors. Tom himself was all black including his mane and tail. Melissa was dark purple and her hair was a dark pink. Jake had a bright red coat and his hair was black. He noticed that each of them somewhat resembled their previous armor colors. Tom then looked up and gasped. He had a horn projecting out of his head. He noticed that Jake had the same thing as well. Melissa was the lucky one to get wings.
Church observed his hair. It was strange how bright the royal blue was but the longer he stared the more his headache intensified. He put a hoof to his head in an effort to make it go away. Tex noticed that he was in pain and smiled, content karma was being a bitch.
The group milled about in the libraries main floor thinking and waiting for the other elements to come pick them up. Everypony was nervous but didn't show it. Twilight was content with the quiet as she was reading a book. When she heard a knock on the door everpony in the group tensed up and Twilight let out a sigh. "This is going to be difficult" she thought as she went to open the door.