25 years old! Extreme mood swings! Weird! Doesn't finish his stories! Likes fruit, vegetables and meat!
Spike the dragon has always been at Twilight's side. He's many things for her: Her friend, her brother, her assistant.
It is certainly someone very important to her. But will things stay the same now that she's a princess?
Especially now that the princesses must tell her her assistant's secret?
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How does this even have so many words and not enough likes or views anyways? You'd think this would catch someone's attention.
4498022
I just posted the story. But it has been in development hell since 2013.
4498047 Oh i see...
You give us this beautiful story instead of a Secret intimacies update.
I am partially ok with this.
This is bullshit, it made me cry.. a LOT...
I got some stuff to say
1. SPIKE IS A BUCK TIME-DRAKE!!!(time lord) awsome!
2. What kind of princess of friendship wont give up her title and godly powers for her her best friend!?
3. Still love the story
4.TWI&SPIK FOREVER!!!
4498803
No, you don't understand. If she gives up her princess hood she forgets she ever had Spike, not that he stays there.
This is much like Lilo and stitch, minus the happy ending, Spike has one singular purpose, like stitch before he met lilo, to assist and finally teach a lesson to all princess candidates. It can be viewed as either a blessing or a curse. A curse that once his duty is finished so is that particular Spike, to be replaced entirely by someone different, some one completely blank. Or a blessing to be able to meet such amazing people, to have an impact on a life you can't fully experience yourself is a bit bittersweet though.
I have to say though. Think of it like this for a few moments Spike relieves all that past lives he's had and the princess' he's helped, he doesn't seem to mind, in fact it looks like has a bit of pride in doing so. If it was any other author I would say they missed it, but this particular guy is a nitpicker for details like this. Spike seems okay with it and even seems happy for it. I am not saying he isn't sad he just knows that's he has done enough.
Well that was underwhelming. I guess they really do feature anything these days.
4498022 Honestly? The core concept is admittedly rather interesting, but the execution lacks a certain... polish. It could benefit a lot from having some beta readers and editors work it over.
4499607
Featured? Where?
4499800 Front page of the site. Don't really know how that's selected, but whatever. Congrats I suppose.
4499810 Oh! By my pants! It's true!
I really wonder how the stories featured are selected. As you said, the story doesn't have as many likes or faves as others I've seen before.
I guess I will be thankful.
i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll10/zweiterversuch/thankfulness_zps6437cd14.jpg
This is the worst fate for Spike I've probably ever seen. What is he? Nothing but a lesson for the princesses to learn, and a bit of moral support. It's like all of those "Spike has no life outside Twilight, and is never happy for himself, just for how happy other people are, he's unimportant beyond that" turned up to eleven.
... Spike never seemed more like a Spike-shaped robot than this chapter. Demoted from a character to just a lesson for Twilight.
... But it's well written, and I'm going to keep reading in the hope the ending is more than "He disappears, Twilight becomes princess, everyone learns Spike was valuable even if he was just a learning prop with no real autonomy and it's sad but it's sorta happy."
*reads*
*blinks*
Wut?
4501783
what? what?
4501983 Simply put: this is too far-fetched.
4502090
That was embarrassing.
I already fixed it. Thanks for letting me know.
wat
Well done Zweiterersuch. I think this is a bitter sweet story. I feel bad that through out the years no one has told Spike what he really is. I feel worse that the other 5 mares in Ponyville will not have a chance to say goodbye. I think after such a fine job that Spike has done the least he could get would be a kiss from Rarity to blow his scales off. As for Luna...hidding behind a wall of toughness. I think I feel bad for her worst of all because unlike the others she has not delt with it yet. I can't wait for the next chapter and once again BRAVO!
4502083
You think so?
Mmm...
Well, exactly what is far-fetched to you?
I'd like to know.
4503692
Thanks.
4503787 It simply doesn't make sense. The whole set-up feels awkward and doesn't sound like something anyone with common sense would do.
The most outstanding oddity to me is waiting over a decade to tell your dear student that the little creature she cares for like a brother isn't real.
Given the emotional investment, that's something anyone with a shred of sensibility would make clear from Day 1.
4506220
Well, this is complicated.
There's actually a good reason for Spike's existence, but it has to do with Spike's creator.
If you want to know, here it is:
Imagine that at the beginning of time there was an alicorn shaped being that had power over nature. Think of it like Zeus or another Greek god, but without the temples or worshippers.
It did what it pleased; without any regard for the lives of those he considered less than it. It wasn't unusual also that it destroyed cities out of boredom or slept with the mares it wanted, without caring much about the consequences.
The ponies of that age had learned to do as he wanted in order to avoid destruction.
As the result of one of those one-night-encounters, the alicorn shaped being had with the mares of that time, the very first alicorn princess was born.
The alicorn shaped being was up until that point the only one of its kind. It was very curious and amusing to find another resembling it. It offered the first princess on one of her birthdays the "honor" of standing next to it in the order of the world and "enjoy" the pleasures of life as one of "them".
The princess accepted gladly. She had never seen or known about something that looked like her. And according to what ponies said, her mother, who died on her birth, was a normal mare and her father was unknown.
She joined the alicorn shaped being in its travels around the world, but became quickly disenchanted with it. The only thing the alicorn shaped being did was bring suffering and misery to others, excusing it as having "fun".
One day after the destruction of a pony settlement she confronted it about it, asking it to please stop doing it. But the alicorn shaped thing did not see her point. After all, all the other creatures of the world were less than it or her. Why would they quit their fun, for such a low beings?
Since she was still half mortal the princess couldn't stand the ways of her "father" and parted ways with it.
She returned to the town in which she had grown up and to her old life before knowing she was the "daughter" of a "deity". But her "father" could not do so. After being together with somepony else like it, it was impossible to go back being alone. It needed her back, but it wasn't like it was going to accept being on the same level as those other, inferior beings
Day after day the alicorn shaped being tried to win her to her side, to make her understand the other beings were different to them. But the princess always replied that it wasn't truth. That they were the same and they could become friends. In order to make its point clear, the alicorn shaped thing then made a companion for her out of the unborn egg of the second most sacred creature of creation, a dragon.
The alicorn shaped thing said it was a present for her and an apology at the same time.
The princess accepted it happily, believing in the change of heart of her "father" and took care of it.
The little dragon and the princess shared many happy years together. For her it was the perfect friend. She was really happy about her "father's" present.
But one day many years afterwards the dragon stopped moving and did not respond to anything the princess did. At the time the princess didn't know that to do or how to feel. It was the first time some pony as dear to her had died in front of her eyes. She begged for her father to bring the dragon back to life, but the alicorn shaped being did not do so.
That was the point he wanted to get through to her. Other beings, even the second most sacred creature in existence could not hope to compare to them. How was she to befriend or care for beings that, unlike them,were so plagued with death?
She saw what her "father" wanted her to understand then. To live among mortals would mean to endure their loss whenever they died, and considering their short lifespans it would be very often. But despite this undeniable proof the princess didn't join her father. She was happy for the brief moments she spent with her dragon.
Angry, the alicorn shaped being left her alone and never appeared before her. But it wasn't like it had given up entirely on having a partner. When the first princess had a child of her own with a moral mate, the alicorn shaped being tried to win the foal over by exactly the same means as it tried to use with its mother. It presented her daughter's child with a dragon that was supposed to become friends with her. And so the alicorn shaped being kept doing it, to the child of of its daughter, and to the child of that child, and to the child of that child as well, hoping that someday one of them would understand the difference between a mortal and a deity and rule together with it.
This of course, up to this day, has never happened.
Sooo...
What I want to say with all that is that the lesson the dynasty of princesses are trying to teach to the next generation is to care, love and treasure others like equals despite being basically different to them.
If Princess Celestia had told Twilight since the very beginning that Spike was not real, Twilight wouldn't have loved him the way she did. She surely would have distanced herself from Spike since the beginning, like any other person put in that situation.
It is especially dramatic in Twilight's case because she is the first pony to become an alicorn. All the other princesses were born alicorns.
The reason why Celestia decided to turn a regular pony into a princess will be explained (at least I hope it will be easy to understand for everyone) in the next chapter.
I hope this explains a little better the whole situation, Alondro.
Also the reason why I don't mention this "mythos" anywhere in the story is because I, myself, think so many OC's would ruin it.
I...I think that having too many OC's in a fic is a bad thing.
4508705 Uhm... so what if one of Twilight's friends or family died first?
That would render this 'lesson' rather pointless, wouldn't it?
The lesson makes no sense other than in the cruel alicorn-thing's case. Why would the other alicorns repeat a test designed to prove mortals are inferior?
That simply defies reason.
4512986
Man...
I really don't have a good answer for that.
Don't worry. I'll come up with something. Maybe I'll do a special chapter based on why the princesses didn't stop using Spike as a lesson.
4513878 Maybe they're really evil tyrants and Twilight is being raised as a nice pony so they can suck the good magic from her like the evil vampire-like entities they are?
4520982
Mmmm...
Celestia as a vampire.
I don't know why, but I like that idea.
Somehow elegantly evil, like dracula from Bram stoker, or like the crimson queen from Vampire Hunter D.
i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll10/zweiterversuch/carmilla_zpsb18c5d4d.jpg
4521998 Problem is, it'd end up being "The Twilight Saga".
sp1.yimg.com/ib/th?id=HN.608050632082983545&pid=15.1
And that would be horrifying.
4522303
Well, we obviously are thinking about different things.
I thought you meant evil vampires.
Not...awkward vampires.
The twilight saga has only awkward and weird vampires.
Or are we talking about a different Twilight Saga?
4498920
well sure hes proud but i know NO one wants to regenerate as only a child even if a part of you still comes back that you is dead forever.
4522702 Meh, doesn't matter.
Vampires suck.
Oh, I forgot to mention.
This story is connected to another of my stories. A really old one.
Here is the link.
Chapter 6.5
Also...nah...I will tell you about it later.
Interesting. Me thinks that Spike serves as a personal friend to each of the princesses at various points in time and is reborn over and over again with a new personality each time. When he;s outlived his role or a new potential princess emerges he is reset and his old personality and memories are wiped clean. He then becomes a blank slate that will grow and develop with each of his princess companions.
For all of her long life and god like power. She is still a scared little philly who runs from pain. Hopefully she will take the advice from her old friend to heart.
critiques
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what's up with -"Spike?" what's the - for?
I'm not going to
all of those -"dialog." things. But it's not only distracting it's improper grammatically. Even then if you were aiming for a pause an eclipse (...) would be better. Although then I'd ask what the pause was for. But you have the story littered with it.
________________________
delete.
_________________________
one line.
___________________________
this should be pink. Also since you stop using colors later on. Please go through your fic and make sure the texts that need to be colored are colored.
_________________________________
OK! So here's the thing, I'm not going to read the rest of the fic, but I want to give some constructive criticism.
1) Stop breaking paragraphs in the middle. You'll have one or even a few sentences.
Then do this thing where you'll finish the rest of the paragraph on different lines.
2) -"dialog" isn't appropriate use of an en dash.
3) If you are using colored text, keep the colors of speakers colored. Even if it is the two mystery ponies (Stopped reading shortly after they were shown) that are the only colored talkers. Keep tabs on them and highlight as appropriate.
Best of luck to you.
4576328
Thanks for the help.
It's really a shame you won't read the rest though. But again thank you a lot.
I'll make sure to fix those problems.
Also I'll color all the lines instead of using -"dialog"
I was completely sure that was a thing.
Uh, you may not see this considering the last comment was written 55/90 weeks ago, but I just wanted to let you know I just read through the story and feel obliged say: it was great! Totally one of the best fics I've ever read, and I feel it's a shame it remains unfinished. I feel everything makes sense, and it is in my opinion more "canon" than the show itself, haha. 10/10, good shit, I love how easy it is to visualize everything you write in my head.
This story has me very torn
On the one hoof it's really good as a story.
One the other hoof it's really sad and as of right now has a sad ending and not to hate on it or anything but it also has Spike who is my favorite character placed in my least favorite type of situation
So good story in general ,but its just not my favorite type of story
4528736
A fascinating theory