• Member Since 23rd Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen Apr 23rd, 2016

masorin


T

Spike’s been adjusting well to having a castle as his new home. Initially, he thought that things would remain exactly the way they always were, only, the box had given them seven chairs instead of just six. Each of them bore the mark of the Elements, whereas the seventh remained bare, was much smaller and was positioned right next to Twilight’s. It seemed that Spike had finally been recognized and given a place within the group, but what exactly did that signify?

He hadn’t used a key and most certainly wasn’t one of the Elements. While Twilight and the rest were all established as Equestria’s best line of defense, the most Spike had ever accomplished was getting lucky against King Sombra. Although being presented with a new position of power, he was still plagued with doubt. Spike’s thoughts were nervous at the best of times and extremely self-doubting at the worst.

Still entirely unsure of his position amongst his friends, he gets paid a visit from the future by a pony who carries a grave warning for the past. Only Spike may save the future, but at what cost?

And just what dangers does the future hold?


Many thanks to my editor: Drgnwolf

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 66 )

Spelling errors here and there, but other than that nice job! Gonna go ahead and follow this thing.

That is an interesting idea and I can't wait to see what you have in store for us.

nice story it was great so keep writing

Well, the title is far from creative (just use the google search bar on Fimfiction), but I have to give you props for the premise. :moustache: Not bad at all.

From the title I thought it was a Doctor Who crossover but other than that i liked it

4493676
I actually used to write Doctor Whoof cross overs, my first two stories revolved around the good doctor and the main six saving the day. I kind of got burnt out by the third story, and it's quality wasn't as good as i wanted so i took it down and stopped writing them.

4493316
Yeah the titles not as good as I would like either, but then again we are supposed to be talking about a mysterious seventh element of harmony so I thought it was fitting though I agree it's not very original. Hopefully the chapter names are a little better though I doubt it, naming things was never a strong point of mine.

@masorin...

1. Your story premise is good, but your fan-fiction is being dragged down by the noticeable amount of Technical Writing Errors (spelling, grammar, tense, format, etc.). I would strongly advise you recruiting an Editor &/or Proofreader(s).

2. For finding an Editor & Proofreader(s) here on FiMfiction site itself...
~ a. Looking for Editors
~ b. The Proofreader Group

As the general rule for literary writing, you should only have a single Editor, but you can have multiple Proofreaders.

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Thank you for your recommendation. I do know my technical writing skills are not the best, and I didn't know that there was an editor group so I put up a request with them. I will certainly try make sure that my story gets the cleaning up it needs.

This looks like it could be the start of something great. Hopefully you can maintain this quality of writing all the way though. I wish you luck.

Hey a quick warning, The title is kinda spoilery, You might want to consider changing it.

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While I do think my tittles are hardly original in the long run I don't consider the fact that this story revolves around a seventh element of harmony a spoiler of any kind. It is both in the short, and the long description of the story as well as mentioned in the first half of the prolog.

Now what the element entails, and why it's important that is slightly more of a spoiler, but while I am considering a tittle change I wouldn't really say that the tittle is spoiling anything for the reader.

4499845 fair enough. Authors decision after all.

So shit probably went down somewhere near the Crystal Empire. Though I wonder just what kind of element the one missing is.

One of the few "seventh element" stories which is actually decent.

I get it the element of the elements earth, fire, water, and air... I really don't know where that came from but it was just a thought I had since spike breaths fire and air and cries.. Lol I'm soon confused from what I just said

possible AppleSpike? Awesome!!!

:moustache::heart::ajsmug:

4519199

Sadly no, I didn't include a romance tag, and so the chances of me actually sitting down and writing anything romantic is probably not gonna happen. In my head it's a solid shoulder for spike to cry on because of Applejack's own experience's with death, which is why she dressed up to the funeral despite it being short notice and informal.

SpikedApple is just gonna have to wait until my next fan fiction... though it is my favorite spike shipping.

I to say i really like how the story is going :yay:

The premise sounds fantastic, and I wish I could read it, but I had to close my eyes and sigh at least three times while reading the error-filled description. This does not bode well for the prose itself.

4541415
The story it's self has an editor, who has gone over every single chapter to help clean up my errors and writing. I never asked him to do the description because well honestly I had thought there wasn't much wrong with it, but I will ask him kindly if he is willing to go over the long description and see if he can clean it up a bit.

Sorry if that inconvenienced your viewing experience.

This sounds interesting, but unfortunately I can't get past the horribly written description.

Okay, so whatever element it is basically took the last of Starswirl's strength to get it up and running. Though that still bodes the question just what kind of element it is and who is it going to go too? My money is on Spike.

4541718 I agree with you. But then what element would Spike represent anyway. Sacrifice maybe?:unsuresweetie: Anybody else have any guesses.

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4541718
I just want to say that I really appreciate comments like these. Of course I don't reply to them simply because I actually have rather loose lips when it comes to the plot (which I actually have sorted out already) but when i see people talking, and asking about what is going to happen next it makes me happy and tells me that I am doing a good job. :pinkiehappy:

4544723

I would have to believe that Sacrifice would be the most appropriate for Spike, especially if it is leaning toward Spike being the seventh lost element of harmony.

And the irony is that he's a dragon, not a pony. Dragons, are, if nothing else, greedy in its heart. That is a natural instinct. Same with other factors like battling and injuring creatures for the sake of just seeing it. Dragons will take any and all that they can because they can. Spike from day one has always be the one execption to dragons. And he's sacrificing all sort of things just to make sure others are better. It could be tangible, like the fire ruby, or it is intangible, like being needed. His greatest fear, after all, isn't neccessarily causing harm for others, it's being unwanted and unneeded.

It seems to me that every action that Spike has done, he's done it for someone...err, somepony else. Never for himself. Even with the crystal empire incidents, he's always wanted to just shun the credit to someone else that he believes is more worthy than him. We all have seen the point where Twilight learned the importance of sacrifice, but I believe that Spike knows it better than anypony else....and he isn't even trying. He's just trying to work itself out.

....I personally do hope that whoever it winds up with, whether it be Spike or someone else, will understand that Sacrifice isn't just giving up one's desires and wants for the well-being for someone else. I do also wish that the bearer will learn that there is power in sacrifice, and not a weakness or a burden. And I'm pretty sure that it will reveal itself as sacrifice---all the other Elements have learned their roles with the addition of sacrifice: the most obvious, Generousity: It takes some balls to be generous enough to help others even when being taken advantage of. I'm pretty sure the others have it a piece of sacrificial lamb as well...

Just a thought........:twilightsmile:

You had my curiosity, now you have my attention.

Okay, I have to comment on 'How to Serve A Pony.' It could just be a serving guide. Just saying. :applejackunsure:
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4541718
4551014
It could also be 'courage' or even 'humility.' They may not fit Spike as well as some, but let's face it: the six themselves haven't always lived up to their elements namesakes either.

4565264
Actually, the courage idea might make sense as well. Yes spike has been shown to being scared to by a lot of things but that's what makes him courageous. He was scared out of his mind during the sombra attack, and the timber-wolf giant but still stood his ground. After all being brave is doing what you need to do even if you are terrified.

The only reason why I think its sacrifice is because, like the other elements, spike represents this quality to a fault. Like pinkies laughter or twilights magic studies.

interesting I like this store please continue

Let me guess, Prepper is related to Spike somehow, a mother perhaps?

4595670
Exactly what I was thinking. Green Fire, green spines, emerald eyes, raised as an assistant to a powerful unicorn. If they're not related, then I'd be surprised.

4595670 I have to agree on that. Well, let's just wait and see what happens next, but so far the story seems great, especially with how you'd think Pepper and Spike might be related.

:pinkiegasp: Well, this just got interesting. :pinkiehappy:

4595670

I'm beginning to think that this isn't a coincidence. As much as people want to claim that their lives are their own and that they are the only one that runs's one life (which is true, by the way), there are too many examples where being around certain people or events will influence what will happen, and there is not a damn thing anyone can do about it. Call it fate, destiny, what-have-you.

There are too many links that are coming together. Twilight isn't a direct descendent of Starswirl or Clover the Clever, but there is a reason that Celestia took Twilight as her protege, just like Starswirl took a younger Celestia as a apprentice.

And I am of the type that believe that Pepper is Spike's mother. Certain features will pass from generation to generation, and I believe that green spikes and slitted dragonic eyes that are also pony-like is definitely a trait that passes through bloodline.

4606922

Normally I don't reply to comments like these as I am terrified of giving away spoilers however I feel that your throwing a bit of your head cannon into my story.

I will neither confirm or deny that Pepper and Spike are related in some way.

However with clover and Twilight since they lived thousands of years apart from one another any blood line is too diluted at that point to even try and trace them together.

Also there has never been any evidence to suggest that Star Swirl and Celestia have ever interacted with one another. We know that they lived during the same time frame since Scorpan was befriended by a young star swirl, but then at the same time he went off to warn princess Celestia and Luna, this means that he could not have been their mentor.

Also note that Clovers events happened: Long ago before the peaceful rain of Celestia. Meaning the goddesses weren't even active for most of Star Swirls life. My theory to that is because the three tribes lived in the far north, equestria, and the princesses lived in the south. As such Star Swirl and Celestia lived in two different cultures, and would not have been trained by each other.

Okay to start this off-FIRST

Secondly :) good work sweetie can't wait for the next chapter also i demand a supply of Quick Quill Plushies to be made available in store kthnxbye! :raritywink:

Good to see an update. Looks like the shit storm is starting to pour and quickly spreading. And I can see why Shinning put up a shield around himself, the smaller the shield the longer it will hold, but that was still a dick move by him.

4643176 Agreed, but Shinning had no other choice. I'm pretty sure that he never wanted to leave his men there, but if you were in the same situation, what would you do?

4648741 I would try to do it for everyone, sadly if it turns out I can't than I would do for myself.

Hmm... Seventh element will be spike. Maybe he is the element of (scrapegoatism/suffering/betrayal/alienation/comic-relief/spare element/rebooted-loyalty/other)
^Joke^

Also... Could he be the beast mentioned in the first part of the story?

4517571
Avatar Spike, you must master the four elements before Celestia's comet arrives and when the unicorns will harness its power to Rarity-afie everything

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Spike could be the element of bravery, just saying:moustache:

4650782 Is 'courage' and 'bravery' not the same thing? :rainbowhuh:

4650782
I dunno but the tree of plot lines demands it

You have to love any story where one of the characters brings attention to the fourth wall.

4650782
I think Dr. Wolf said in one of his reviews, that Spike could be the element of 'Sacrifice'.:rainbowderp::moustache:

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