• Member Since 5th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen January 24th

Charzoid


I only write occasionally but enjoy reading more,especially if the story involves prince blueblood.

T
Source

It's been four years since Twilight and Spike moved to Ponyville, and Spike still has a crush on Rarity. Since the first day he saw her, he wanted to ask her out, and he's imagined the scenario for them going a dozen ways. He finally takes a chance, but doesn't understand why none of those scenarios come true. Luckily, with the help of both Twilight and a stallion that he should hate, he may start getting the point. At least a little bit.
(This is not a Spike/Twilight fic)

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 33 )

This is the fastest any story of mine has been added to groups but I'm sorry to disappoint those who added this to Twilight/spike shipping groups. Spike and Twilight are like adoptive siblings to me and that is how I plan to portray them here.:fluttershysad:
No offense meant to anyone who likes that ship.

Pretty good, you need to work on editing though, a nice take on the spike/rarity ship, and oddly enough one I've never seen before.

Hmmm...
Is this gonna involve the Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance five steps?
Maybe something else?

An interesting take on Spike's crush. You could use some editing but I'm curious as to where you go with this.

4530852 Well now you went and spoiled it all!:flutterrage::derpytongue2: JK,yes pretty much but I hope to do them well even if I think other including you have heard of said list.

4531545 Of the story or of it being in the shipping groups that its not about?

4531651 For the illusion of creativity sake on my part I'll let you guess what it might be when it ends.

4531322 Ha! And they all told me Majora's Mask couldn't teach me anything! Mwahahahaha! :pinkiecrazy:

4533249 Have I fixed them now? I'm not sure. Also thank you for being specific with me on where the grammar mistakes were. I'm kinda bad at spotting specifics till after the fact.

4533318 I'll attempt to but the left side of my mind that's filled with forgetfulness sauce may not keep the promise. Thanks again though.

While the premise is fresh and unexplored, the story's occasional grammatical errors and spelling mistakes make it rather distracting.

The pacing could be better and certain scenes could be more elaborated upon.
For example: Spikes final realization - obviously a heart rending moment for him, but rushed and not given the loving attention to detail such a scene might deserve

Also, the lack of capitalization for names at certain times.

All in all, a story with great potential, that suffers slightly from the above.

4653849 Since your the second person to mention feeling it was rushed near that part,I'll attempt thinking of a way to make it longer.

Isn't fleur de lis or whatever already Fancys wife?

Other than that I like this story. Though I hope you don't have that stereotypical thing where the guy who liked the girl first does some stupidly embarrassing thing like objecting in the middle of the wedding, and that Spike will either be mature about it or you have Rariy like him too or something. I really am just irritated with how many movies/shows/stories have done it.

4978004 Oh no none of that's gonna happen. I hope to make Spike more mature by the end of things.

5174465 I appreciate that but I have no amazon account. If you came here from the link in my post then and are interested in helping me out more personally through what you think should be done for the chapter then PM me.

4978190

Personally I think the only way that Spike will be able to accept that Rarity is somepony else's wife instead of his special somepony would be for Spike to get a Special Someone just for him. I get that his heart is shattered because Rarity will no longer be in his life in a romatic sense. (And to be honest, there never were any sense of romance brewing in the first place, it was always platonic and poor Spike just refused to see it). But I truly believe that to heal a broken heart, you need another hear to do it. I see the Sad tag is in there for a reason. I just wish and pray that by the time that it gets to Acceptance, Spike's got a mate for himself and that mate would be his world just like he will be that mate's world.

And honestly Twilight, I get that you just want Spike to understand that he didn't have a shot at Rarity in the first place, but honestly, the Princess of Friendship needs to learn a bit of tact. Just my opinion.

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Spike loses it---Rarity gets stood up at the alter . THE END

Fancy that:derpytongue2:

6361125
:rainbowlaugh: From the #1 drama queen in Equestria!
:raritycry: Fancy left me!
:twilightsmile: serves you right!
:ajbemused: Ya like dem apples?
:pinkiegasp: Hung out to dry PARTY!
:flutterrage: HAY SEED TURNIP TRUCK!
:moustache: DO I GET THAT FIRE RUBY BACK?
:unsuresweetie: Nope Rarity's a gem digger
:raritystarry: Sweetie Belle!
:moustache: Again I'm someponies butt monkey

I'm sorry, but this convenient ignorance of why Spike is pissed, and seeming like everypony else is just thinking simple temper tantrum, is starting to even piss me off. And it's not easy to piss me off at a story.

You would think that all these ponies would see the true story---Spike's crush has been shattered, he has to watch the girl he has a crush on for the longest time literally jump into the hooves of some stallion else, and yet it seems like nopony knows the connection between that event and his behaviour. And knowing that it's pretty much a well-known 'secret' that just about everypony knows already is equivalent to spitting in his face. Pretty bitch move, Twilight. And you call yourself the Princess of Friendship--knows a lot of shit about friendships, yet don't know how to be a friend to one that is heartbroken.

And to pretty much put salt into a fresh open wound, Twilight is kinda flaunting her own relationship with Flash around to 'keep an eye on Spike'. It's almost like saying "Too bad that you can't handle a relationship even when there wasn't one in the first place. I'm gonna use my boyfriend to be your warden because you don't have one and can't handle being rejected".

Seriously, I really hope that you have someone for Spike. He really needs it. One thing, please don't use Sweetie Belle: it's cliche as hell, not to mention it reeks of rebound, and also it would be a bit of a beserk because Sweetie Belle and Rarity are sisters and the last thing that Spike needs is to have someone that reminds him of Rarity each and every day. Part of me doesn't want him to go to the eventual wedding of Rarity and Fancy Pants--I'm pretty sure that he would not want to see his crush officially be picked up and moved away.

6363207 Well if one thing makes you feel a bit better on it is Twilight and Flash aren't together in this. She wouldn't flaunt anything in spike's face on purpose to hurt him. Spike gets the second best thing to a girlfriend at the end of this and its not sweetie so no worries.

6363228

I've got to hand it to you man, it's uncommon that things like this hit me in a story, and this really hits close to home at times. Seen the whole thing before in real life, and I can tell ya, it really sucked. Having your feelings for someone, only to see that same someone go after someone else. And what's worse? It's partially your fault because of your reluctance and worry if she even liked you instead of realizing you have balls and really tell that girl how you really feel.

I know Spike is probably feeling the same way. Only the one thing that I do hope Spike does do is that he really tells Rarity how he feels about her, knowing that it's pretty much futile at that point. But hey, at least it's closure.

6363207 I wouldn't know about that.
Yeah, not saying other ships with spike wouldn't be interesting, but let's look at it like this:
The idea begin sparity is taking the dragon, us allay a symbol of greed in fiction, ad a unicorn, symbol of generosity, falling in love, never been don before.
An look at that, Sweeite bells a unicorn.
Although, I think it would also make the pair intresting an complex because they would hve to work through spikes crush with rarity to make them wrk, while growing in their own relationship through the process.

Oh God. I really feel sad for Spike.
Poor little dragon.

I know it's the age thing, and I really am disappointed at Rarity for letting it go longer than expected. You knew Spike had a crush on you and yet left it seem that he had a chance when you know that it will never work out. Your reasons for rejection may be valid, but I still say that you're full of bullshit.

And you really think offering Spike the position of ring bearer would make things better? Not a f****** chance. You should have just said (you're a good friend and love you like I love my little sister, but that is all it is, you're too young for me, and I want a adult stallion) or something similar to it, and problem adverted.

Just for the record, Rarity even trying to get Sweetie Belle with Spike is insulting to both of them, but more Spike than Sweetie Belle.

I bet you that it's also a bit of a species issue--though the previous statement blows that to smithereens...

Dude, whoever you have set up for Spike better be close to a perfect 10---after all the heartbreak and rejection, I hate to use the term rebound, but I really hope that Spike rebounds with this mystery character and so hard that eventual love for her would make his previous crush on Rarity seem like a 25-watt dim bulb.

It's all on you. Make me proud!!

EDIT: sorry, I just feel so jaded on this, it feels like all that you did for that one person, and uitimately it was all for shit...makes you feel so guarded and are against letting someone in after experiencing rejection after rejection. I just hope Spike doesn't make the same mistake I've done. He has a chance to be better.

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