Fluttershy's never kissed a pony before. What's a girl to do? Ask a friend for help, of course.
Proofread and edited by Pearple Prose and Malefic Scholar.
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Flint Sparks
Joined 28th May, 2013 ·
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3470584
I think I warned you already. This was just for fun.
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mamihkHjcE1rfn1pzo1_500.gif
So you wrote this for fun? For something written for any reason, this is really good. You got them both really in character, and the whole thing was really, really cute.
3470586
Don't worry, I'm not judging. It was... nice.
I liked it. As was already said, you pulled the characters off very well. Quite cute and sweet, but secretly, I didn't want Spike to come home.
Different But it was good and a little weird
3471599
I didn't want to take it too far.
Stupid Spike had to ruin everything.
This was awesome
3470633
I'll take that as you enjoyed it.
Very Nice
Haters Gonna Hate, I was once told...I, however, am not a hater. CLICKING FAVE BUTTON IN 3...2...1...
*click*
(As you can see, there's so much yay)
is it just me, or does Fluttershy look really creepy in the cover art?
3475317
No idea.
*shrug*
Not a bad story... have an upvote.
Now for some nit-pickery, directed more at your proof-readers than yourself:
Not so much a nit-pick as a minor personal irk:
Please forgive the minor rant; I know this is fandom slang, but sometimes I feel that FiM fanfic authors need to be forced to read a thesaurus every time this is used. Rump; rear; posterior; hindquarters; backside; buttocks; derrière - there are numerous wonderful synonyms for this part of the anatomy, it pains me every time it appears in a story.
3477181
First one is actually correct, corrected the second, and the third is good to keep in mind. I hope you forgive me for using plot once, but I'll be sure to use other synonyms to avoid repetition in the future.
3477195
Ten out of ten dictionaries disagree with you.
ado noun - fuss, delay, difficulty, trouble.
adieu noun - goodbye.
Let's try some substitution and see what happens:
I suppose that it's possible that Twilight is not planning an additional goodbye before she puts her hoof on Fluttershy's chest, but I know which one I think reads better.
Already forgiven! As I explained, it's just a minor annoyance - more so when it crops up in stories that I'm enjoying reading.
3477719
Ahhhhhhh, my bad. I was writing on how it sounds, I should've checked the dictionary!
Good job
3477978
*Good
3478535
Agh, damn brain of mine
I love the story, it was very well written and not too rushed. Other than those small errors, I loved it.
Damn you Spike.
This was a cute little story.
o.o DAMN YOU SPIKEY WIKEY! fuuuu~ troll spike
But that's ok because... 
why's it ok again 
oh well 
i like this story. i fav this story. i have no complaints with this. 
It's pretty obvious that Fluttershy has serious feelings for Twilight in this, but I got confused trying to figure out whether Twilight has similar feelings in return. I'm pretty sure, but some bits of wording were difficult to decipher. Well, cute little story! ^_^ Love it.
3550414
Hey, you never know...
Everybody is a little different.
And thank you!
3475456 I think I know what he was talking about. Usually, Fluttershy's hair is parted the other way, flowing over the right side of her face. Because of the perspective, this particular piece of artwork has her hair parting over the left side of her face. This bugged me too the first time I saw it.
Also, the eyes of Futters are usually less rounded, and there is a bit of a blur at the top of the eye that gives it a 'ghost eye' effect.
3584178
If you notice, the manes on the show actually flip whenever the camera cuts away if the pony turns around. It's weird, especially with manes like Rarity's.
I say this is the most awkward situation I've read so far.Good job my fellow pony.
I was expecting a lot more awkward, but really, it was mostly sweet and intimate.
So thanks for that.
wow, this story is pretty damn good, sweet and cute. loved it
I loved it
I reviewed this story as part of Read It Later #74.
My review can be found here.