A guest chapter written by BronyWriter
“I’m having a great day, Dreamlight Sun. You sure know how to show a mare a good time.”
Cheerilee smiled at the peach coated, golden maned unicorn mare seated across from her, and her date smiled back. “I’m having a wonderful time as well, Cheerilee. It is so nice to finally meet somepony that understands me.” Dreamlight slowly, gently put her hoof on the table and slid it over to Cheerilee’s, which was resting near her dinner plate. “And might I say, you are truly one of the kindest mares I have ever met.
Cheerilee giggled and tried to ignore the flushing she felt in her cheeks. “Well, I suppose that comes with working with foals like I do. They do need such nurture and care, and I pride myself on being able to provide that for them.”
“An attractive quality in a partner, I’d say,” Dreamlight purred. “Kindness is a virtue too rare these days.”
Cheerilee snorted and waved her hoof. “Oh, don’t say that, Dreamlight. You just have to know where to look.” Cheerilee motioned out of the window of her home in the direction of Ponyville’s outskirts. “Why, my friend Fluttershy is one of the kindest ponies ever born.”
Dreamlight’s smile widened ever so slightly, slightly enough that it went unnoticed by the schoolteacher. “Ah. Yes, Fluttershy. She’s an Element of Harmony, is she not?” Cheerilee nodded. “I see. The Element of Kindness?”
“Yep, that’s Fluttershy.” Cheerilee took a bite of the salad she had made for the two of them to enjoy and tapped her hoof on the table thoughtfully before swallowing. “As a matter of fact, all of the Elements live here.”
“Indeed?” Dreamlight raised an eyebrow. “I had no idea! I have heard of the exploits of the Elements of Harmony, but I have never met them.” Dreamlight flattened her ears and gave Cheerilee an embarrassed smile. “It’s silly, really, but I’ve always wanted to meet the Elements of Harmony. I mean, I’ve seen them in passing and I’ve read all about them, but I’ve never had the honor of actually meeting them. I am loath to admit that I may hero-worship them a little.” Dreamlight snorted and waved her hoof. “Multiple saviors of Equestria, and all that.”
Cheerilee smirked and rolled her eyes. “You know, you might be one of the first ponies who really knows about them. I mean, you’re right: they’ve saved the world more times than I can count but hardly anypony knows who they are.”
“Tragic,” Dreamlight said sadly with a shake of her head. “Absolutely tragic.” Dreamlight’s smile returned, and Cheerilee couldn’t help but feel that Dreamlight’s smile flashed sinister for a moment. After a second look, she decided that she was imagining things. “You… teach the sisters of two of the Elements, do you not? And a sister-figure of a third.”
Cheerilee grinned and vigorously nodded. “Yep. Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo. The Cutie Mark Crusaders, they call themselves. They can be a hooffull, but it just makes it all the more rewarding when I get to see what kind of mares they grow up to be.”
“Yes, quite. As I said, your kindness is your most admirable quality.” Dreamlight’s smile suddenly fell, and she began quickly looking around the room, almost as if she was expecting that they were being watched. Cheerilee frowned and cocked her head.
“Is something wrong? Did you hear something?”
Dreamlight turned back to Cheerilee and gave her a reassuring smile. “Oh, nothing wrong at all, my dearest Cheerilee. It’s just…” Dreamlight let out a nervous chuckle. “I know tonight is supposed to be about us, and it will be, but… is it possible that you can introduce me to the Elements? You are their friend, after all.”
Cheerilee raised an eyebrow and tilted her head. “Really? You want me to introduce you to the Elements? I don’t see why—“
Before Cheerilee could say anything else, the door to her home burst off its hinges, revealing none other than the Elements of Harmony themselves, all of whom were sporting their elements and determined looks.
“My door,” Cheerilee said sadly. She internally sighed and rested her head against her hoof. Whatever. I really should have seen all of this coming. The better the date, the worse it ends. Oh well, maybe if I ignore them they’ll go away. Couldn’t get much worse either way.
Twilight and her friends paid no heed to the destroyed door, instead choosing to file in and strike an epic pose just in front of the table.
“Cheerilee! We’ve come to rescue you from the mortal peril you are in!” Twilight cried.
Cheerilee sighed and looked over to Dreamlight. “Well, these are the Elements. You know what they say about meeting your heroes, I suppo—“
“The Elements!” Dreamlight shot to her hooves and a wicked grin spread across her face. “How kind of you to join us! We were just discussing you.”
“I’m sure you were, you ruffian!” Rarity snapped. “How could you think to use this poor, defenseless schoolteacher to bring about our destruction?!”
“Thanks for that, Rarity,” Cheerilee said flatly. “Now would you kindly explain why you broke down my door to interrupt my date?”
Dreamlight let out a loud cackle, and before Cheerilee’s eyes she began changing color. Her previously peach fur began turning dark blue, and her golden mane began shimmering like the night sky. “Why, there’s no need to tell you, dearest Cheerilee, when I can just show you!”
“She’s the reincarnated avatar of the Mare in the Moon!” Twilight ignited her horn and pawed at the ground in a threatening manner. “Nightmare Moon!”
“It seems I have been caught then!” Dreamlight crowed, her previously unseen wings unfurling from her sides. “This time I shall not be so easily defeated!”
“Run, Cheers!” Applejack cried, rushing to Twilight’s side. “We’ll take care of her!”
“Uh-huh.” Cheerilee let out a slow, longsuffering sigh and shook her head. Her salad remained uneaten before her. If there was going to be a major duel for Equestria in her home with the reincarnated avatar of Nightmare Moon, she might as well not deal with the potential end of all life on an empty stomach. She shrugged and picked up her fork to dig in. “Just don’t be too noisy.”
“Cheerilee, we’re about to have an epic duel, so you might want to think about getting out of here!” Rainbow Dash insisted.
“A duel which you will lose!” Nightmare Moon cackled. She flew into the air and hovered above Cheerilee, gleefully poking at her mane. “All will cower before me in fear as this pony will soon be doing!”
“Not after the ducks and Fluttershy off her meds,” Cheerilee deadpanned.
“I said I was sorry,” Fluttershy whispered, almost unheard by the gathered ponies.
Cheerilee sighed again and clicked her tongue. “Fine. Have your super-duper duel for the world. Whatever.” Cheerilee picked up her plate and balanced it on her back, part of her suspecting that it would soon be her only remaining worldly possession. As she reached her destroyed door, she mustered enough will to call back to the fighters.
“Just clean up when you’re done, I guess.”
Just when I thought you couldn't top the previous chapter when Cheerilee lost six stallions on one cruise, you come in with this chapter. Man, next thing you know Cheerilee's gonna end up dating Queen Chrysalis in disguise, or the reincarnation of King Sombra.
I love how blasé Cheerilee is about the whole thing by now.
4007304 I definitely thought about it, but in the end, I felt that the story was enough Cheerilee. Nice to give the readers and myself a little break.
4008522 To be fair, this is BronyWriter's chapter. He gets the credit for this, and he did an excellent job.
4008524 THAT WAS MY FAVORITE THING!
Doesn't the elements of harmony being recognized kind of undercut the conceit that this is a few years before the show?
And then, under the soothing haze of some of Fluttershy's meds, nightmare moon stopped trying to destroy anypony and just tripped balls for all eternity.
The balls then swore an oath of vengeance on Cheerilee and ruined another date a few months later.
Lets see the list of funny dates
Rule 63 Cheerilee
angel
sombra
Queen chrysalis
a mirror pool Cheerilee
Wait, wait! Hold the phone, stop the music! All of these stories take place before the Hearts and Hooves Day episode, right? That means Twilight shouldn't be a princess yet. Do you see why I'm getting confused here?
That aside, I had a feeling this date was too good to be true. Odd that the Dreamlight Sun thought this was an ideal tactic to strike the Mane 6, though. Seriously, the Pony of Shadows had a better strategy, and it (probably) didn't even do anything.
4008636 Well, BronyWriter isn't on, but I'll just go ahead and delete that line.
Poor Cheerilee... this one had me feeling really bad for her, yet internally laughing at the same time (I rarely laugh out loud at fanfics).
Nothing like finding out your "perfect" date is the reincarnated avatar of a world-conquering villain...
Lol, I thought it was gonna be Chrysalis.
When I saw 'Dreamlight Sun', I thought it was going to be Celestia in disguise. I was close, kinda!
(You should do one where Cheerilee's date is Celestia in disguise. )
Now I want to see Cheerilee date a Changeling, one who thought they'd advertised that little detail.
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4009147 That's Fluffle Puff's cutie mark!
4009180
Gasp!
You're doing it wrong AGAIN Ms. Cheerilee!
Twenty-five down, nine-hundered-seventy-five more to go!
I want to see Cheerilee date a full sized dragon. (Not spike)
I think that would make an interesting date.
Cheerielee x Night Mare Moon! wow, I didn't saw that one coming.... Great chapter!
"NO! You are absolutely not interrupting me when I'm finally having a good date!"
"Um... Cheers, did you see the bit when your 'date' was revealed to be an avatar of pure, disembodied dark magic?"
"I don't care! He... she... it... whatever... was charming and polite throughout this evening and I'm not ending this on a bad note! So, you six are going to wait outside until we're done here and YOU are going to sit down and finish our date like a civilised being and without raving about conquering the world!"
"Nightmare, my dear, I'd do what she says! She's quite frightening when she gets mad!"
"Finally we've got some peace! Now, where were we before we were interrupted?"
"Um... Cheerilee...? Uh... Would you be interested in a Dark Consort position? We have one open and..."
"Snuggles on the couch first; discussion of conquering the universe later."
And not a single Cheer-a-fuck was given that day.
The name Dreamlight Sun was too suspicious for it not to be someone else in disguise, but I had only gotten so far as to think that it was Celestia and not Nightmare Moon.
Another really hilarious chapter.
Not even an evil goddess can give her a good date (for too long), and I doubt a good one could either without divine grounding.
I love it how Cheerilee isn't aware of what type of situation she's in in this chapter it's kinda like she was expect all of this lol
Pffffttttt.
Dreamlight.
That was clever.
~Skeeter The Lurker
4010916 If they could just figure out how to waterproof the Sw33ti3 B0t, they'd really be in business.
I though the joke was going to be that Dreamlight was an element fan girl using Cheerilee to get close to her idols.
But a nightmare moon reincarnation works as well.
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This needs to be an emoticon. I can't find any thing that says blasé quite like it...
That said, great chapter! Keep it up & may the muse be with you!
4020853 The "they got" is part of his accent, since he's got the Southern thing going on.
The other two are errors and I'll get them right now, so thanks again! I'm glad you liked the song!
You know what I think would be really funny is that she sign up for a serries of bling dates and somehow get all the Main 6 and actually had a good time despite some of the worse ponies for her to date (Rainbow's ego, Fluttershy's pill and Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie) and quirks. But in the end, do to a funny serries of consqunce, they somehow end up as a couple with someone other then Cherrie (with eachother or some random ponies) and she just yell, "Come on!"
4008636
But it's possible that this one took place after Friendship is Magic parts 1&2, yet before Hearts and Hooves Day.
I don't know, that's my take on it.
4008522
I WOULD PAY ACTUAL MONEY TO SEE THAT. Besides, I'm not gonna lie, I kinda ship Sombra and Cheerilee...
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OH my god, why have I not written this... Probably 'cause of SombraPie. Yep, that's it.
5653614
With total honesty, orange really isn’t her color.
Fluttershy, I think that a simple sorry does not mend the wound of ruining a great date and supposedly killing someone.
Remember the episode Daring Don't.
Reparations and grievances will rain down upon the Mane Six if they keep this up!