Cheerilee slowed for a moment, falling behind the massive pegasus, and then trotting to his left side as he passed. She’d been walking in his shadow for several minutes, and she’d begun to get chilly. As the sun warmed her again, she turned her face to it, sighing happily.
“So… you work at the gym,” she said, cudgeling her brain for some topic of conversation that would engage the stallion. So far, Snowflake hasn’t proven himself to be a big talker. “What’s that like?”
“Huh?” the stallion said, his face crinkling as he slowly processed the question.
“Do you like working there?” Cheerilee asked slowly, enunciating each word carefully.
“YEAH!”
Cheerilee flinched, lowering her ears against the volume of his shout.
“Well, that’s nice,” she said, scanning the wooded path for anything that might spark some dialogue between the two of them. “Um, everypony should have a job that they like.” she finished, forcing a perkiness into her voice that she normally reserved only for foals.
“YEAH!” he replied, thrusting his hoof into the air.
“Could you lower the volume a bit?” Cheerilee asked, wincing. “Huh” and “YEAH” were almost all this stallion ever seemed to say, and his constant screaming was like a metal spike boring into her skull.
The stallion suddenly stood on his hide legs, stepping forward and flexing his impressive muscles until they threatened to burst from his skin. “YEAH!” he yelled into the heavens. “I mean, okay,” he said, as Cheerilee covered her ears with her hooves.
Oh, thank Celestia! He can talk! Cheerilee thought, massaging her temple. We're making progress.
Snowflake pulled up abruptly, his eyes slowly travelling left to right and back again. “The… gym,” he muttered. As Cheerilee opened her mouth to ask if everything was all right, he held up a hoof to silence her, his brow furrowed in deep concentration. “When I think of the gym, I think of...”
Cheerilee jumped as he leapt into the air, his tiny wings a blur as they somehow managed to haul his bulk from the ground. “Um… hold on, okay?” he said as he landed on a branch high above her head. It groaned under his considerable weight.
“What are you—”
“I just forgot… something…” he called down. Hidden by the leaves, she couldn’t tell what exactly he was up to, but he was making quite a racket. Several squirrels and small birds fled as branches splintered.
Sweet sisters, what now?! Cheerilee thought, rubbing her temples more vigorously.
“Okay, sorry” he said, plummeting several yards before his wings somehow managed to slow his descent. “Sorry, I just needed… um…” Landing, he looked away, biting his lip.
Cheerilee coughed as a cloud of cloying sweetness enveloped her. Stepping back, she took a few deep breaths.
“Uh…” Snowflake said, his face rapidly reddening.
“Did you just… douse yourself in cologne?” Cheerilee said, stretching her neck out to take another whiff. The huge stallion reeked of over-ripened fruit and tropical wildflowers. The teacher fought to keep from bursting out laughing as a butterfly landed on his nose.
“Well, I… um” Snowflake said, blowing the butterfly back into the air. “Well, I sorta sweat… a lot, and when you said that thing about the gym, I started thinking—” Snowflake stopped abruptly as the butterfly landed on his ear, then began crawling down his face. Eyes crossed, he watched as it walked between them before shaking his head vigorously to shoo it away. “Anyway,” he continued, flushing again, “I just—”
The stallion issued a low growl as several more butterflies landed on him, crawling across his fur and probing him with their long, sticky tongues. Cheerilee took a few steps backward as he shook himself like a dog. The butterflies took to the air briefly before landing on him again.
“Snowflake, what was that stuff?” Cheerilee said as several dozen butterflies flitted their way through the trees toward them.
“Dunno!” he replied, taking to the air as the butterflies attempted to land on him again. “Just some stuff I ordered. The magazine said it had phero-somethings that made ponies like you!” He winced, twisting and flailing above Cheerilee as a second grouping of butterflies arrived and landed on him.
“Well, stop panicking!” Cheerilee yelled up at him as she trotted back and forth. “They’re just butterflies.”
“No!” he bellowed. “They’re licking me, and they’ve got weird feet that are sticky or something!” Spinning rapidly, Snowflake threw the insects from him. Seconds later they reconverged, covering nearly half his body in a multi-colored swarm. “They feel all creepy!”
He looks like a living mosaic, Cheerilee thought, trying to come up with something to do that could help the poor stallion. She grimaced as more began filtering through the leaves above them. All around Cheerilee, butterflies of all shapes and sizes were arriving in ever-increasing numbers.
“Get ‘em off! Get ‘em off!” the stallion bellowed, falling to the ground and rolling. As he attempted to crush the insects, they took off, landing immediately again when he stopped.
“Snowflake, calm down!” Cheerilee cried, running to him. She swept her hoof through the sea of insects, but they either crawled out of the way or took to the air. An instant later, they reclaimed the area. “Just stay calm. It can’t hurt you!”
“They’re in my ears!” he shouted, swiveling his head violently. “They’re crawling up my nose!”
“Shoo! Get out of here!” Cheerilee yelled, jumping through the air and waving her hooves at the vast cloud of insects with little effect. “Snowflake, I think you’re going to have to run!” Cheerilee sighed, realizing the hopelessness of that suggestion as soon as she said it.
On the path before her, the pegasus sat, rubbing his face in an attempt to gain some sort of respite from the swarming butterflies. He’d rid himself of them just long enough to take a breath before they’d land again, now three levels deep.
I can’t even see him anymore! she thought, her breath coming in ragged gasps as panic began to set it. He’s in real trouble! Cheerilee scrambled in several different directions, before finally setting on the one that she thought would be the fastest route back to town. “J-just hold on!” she cried. “I’m going to get…”
Her words trailed away as the ball of butterflies began to slowly lift off the ground. Flapping in unison, they were several yards into the air before the teacher arrived. Leaping, she tried to grab where a leg might be, but she came away with nothing but a hoofful of delicate, multi-colored insects. As she watched the enormous cloud of butterflies ascend, she unconsciously released her hoof, allowing the last of the butterflies to join the swarm.
“Seriously?!” she yelled after them. “How am I even supposed to report something like this?!”
.... Okay that wasn't what I expected but it does put his reaction into perspective.
Oh gawd, did you get this idea from the new episode? This made my sides hurt!
3633233 Yup. I saw him run away from that butterfly and I knew that there was a story there.
...That explains a lot...
I get the sense that Snowflake was trying way too hard here. I guess it's only natural that his plan backfired on him.
Snowflake, get your flank back to the Wonderbolt Academy. You need to have a firmer grasp on discipline if you're ever gonna fly with the best of the best.
You evil genius, you.
This is the second date Cheerilee has lost this way, one to actual butterflies and one to a swarm of random animals from butterfly butt.
It's all a conspiracy isn't it? All orchestrated by Angel, who has a stalktastic crush.
3633284 He's at least three years before the Wonderbolt academy here. Plus, who wants to hire a Wonderbolt that might break formation as the slightest hint of flittering wings and delicate antenna?
3633286 All roads lead to Cheerilee. By the end, she will be the epicenter of MLP.
3633283 Dude had to get a nervous condition from somewhere. Might as well make Cheerilee's life hell in the process.
3633284 Not to mention Spitfire does not tolerate academy members making fools of themselves in public.
3633324 You probably thought this Scootaloo was actually flying through that hoop. Nope. It was Cheer Testa going out on another date with a stallion.
A heroic young filly escaping her Vault and exploring the post apocalyptic wasteland? Nope. Cheer Testa on a date that went very, very wrong.
Twilight finds a young
May Suealicorn filly created from her blood in the woods? Nope, Cheer Testa's newly (and unwillingly) adopted foal.A man finds a box with a little filly Dashie in it? Nope. Cheer Testa was the victim of a prank from one of her dates.
3633320 Meh, I think Spitfire will find a way to make him suppress that while on duty. Let's face it: She's a lot scarier than any butterfly will ever be.
.....Um.
Ok then.
That happened.
~Skeeter The Lurker
3633319 Don't forget the duck attack!
Ponyville emergency response, what is the trouble?
Well you see.....ummm.....my uhhh....date! Yes I was on a date and my date is......well he was wearing this pheromone stuff and all these butterflies had came out of nowhere and had-
Excuse me Ma'am, did you say butterflies?
.........Fuck it "Click"
3633334 You're a horrible person. Feel good about yourself.
3633427 This and a thousand other humiliating encounters are playing through Cheerilee's mind as she trots back to town. Sometimes, staying in and grading papers is the better option.
3633392 It sure did, didn't it. Yes. Yes it did.
3633437 I torture Cheerilee so that you don't have to. It's a civil service that I provide.
3633319 Are you sure it's Angel with the stalker crush?
You know the one time Cheerilee has a decent date with somepony, it'll probably be with someone who she simply isn't interested in that way and vice versa.
3634358 Like Big Mac?
*hopelessness
Yet another great chapter! Is it bad that I always feel a little bit better about myself after reading these? (Yes, yes it is.)
3635800 Oops! Thanks for that edit.
Cheerilee's misery is your anti-depressent! It's a whole new medical field!
“Seriously?!” she yelled after them. “How am I even supposed to report something like this?!”
what about: My date was kidnapped by Butter Flys that thought he was extremly hot because of some tropical fruit/ flower perfume?
I hope their will be a date whit Zecora and Berry Punch!
3635836 Shortly thereafter, Cheerilee was admitted to a psyche ward for evaluation of her hallucinations.
I have some Zecora ideas banging around in my head, so it probably won't be long.
3635849
Yay!
Now we're not the only ones that are considered crazy!
Can't wait for the next chapter! It felt like forever befor this chapter came!
3635862 Yeah, I was finishing up a new chapter for Taking a Job for Granite and First Steps, so this story took a back seat for a little while. Hopefully I'll have a new chapter up in a day or two. I have a good idea, but I haven't had time to sit down and try and write it yet.
3635892
First steps out with a new chapter?! Am I blind or? I must check THAT out!
3635926 It's not out yet. Steel Resolve and I just finished the rough. It will probably be out in about two weeks. Something like that.
3635934
Okay! I'll keep my eyes open!
3635308 I had forgotten that one.
This has to be the best one yet!
3636263 Nice really has nothing to do with it. It's mostly that the universe has some sort of vendetta against Cheerilee.
3641282 Well, I have a new one ready to go later today, so we'll see then!
Poor Snowflake; he seems like such a nice stallion generally but, yeah, a phobia can be a crippling thing. Having it about something like butterflies just make it so utterly mortifying for the poor chap!
Well, now that would explain a lot ...
This thing happens to Fluffle Puff too apparently.
Dear Lord, how has there not been a date with Sombra?!
4347588 Nah, hes taken. Some insane pink mare took him off the market, if rumor is to be believed.
Officer: Okay, so run that by me one more time; exactly what happened.
Cheerilee: I was going on a date and the stallion I was with got abducted by butterflies.
Just imagine working at a police station and having somebody report that
and that's what happened on the day Fluttershy fell
AHHG! THE BUTTERFLIES! NOT THE BUTTERFLIES!!
MY EYES! THEY'RE IN MY EYES! AAAAAAAHHHGHHHRGHLGHAAAAHH!