Timeline pursed his lips. “Look, all I’m saying is that I think you’re being a little hasty. I don’t think it’s time to start assigning blame. Let’s just figure out what to do about this.”
Cheerilee flailed, searching in vain for something-anything-to grab a hold of. “Well, if you have any clever ideas, I’m all ears. Otherwise, assigning blame is really all I’m good for at the moment.”
All four of Timeline’s mustard hooves pointed up into the sky. Grimacing, he tried to right himself, but ended up spinning in a very slow barrel roll. “What we need is to work teamwork.”
“Rah-rah! You can do it!” Cheerilee said, shooting the unicorn an icy stare. “Unless you’ve got a plan that requires the step-by-step breakdown of long division or knowledge of the five great Equestrian eras, this is pretty much up to you.”
Timeline held his hooves out wide. “I’m sorry, all right? I didn’t know that this was going to happen. The spell was just supposed to make us float.”
Cheerilee rolled her eyes. “Well, it's worked wonderfully. I’ve never felt so light.”
Timeline’s ears folded against his skull and looked away.
Cheerilee scowled at him, and then sighed. “Look, I’m sorry. I know you didn’t want this, and I shouldn’t take it out on you. It’s just that it's so frustrating! How did this even happen?”
Timeline completed another revolution. “Remember when I sneezed?” he said after a lengthy pause.
Cheerilee’s eye twitched. “We’re falling uncontrollably into the sky because you sneezed?”
“Well, it’s, uh…” Timeline’s hooves twined around one another. “It’s kind of a sensitive subject, but I was born with Spastic Horn Syndrome.”
“And that means what, exactly?”
A slow flush crept up the unicorn’s neck. “It means that my magic sometimes, uh, leaks when… things happen. Like sneezes, or sometimes other… Well, anyway, I was casting a buoyancy spell so that we could walk on water. I was going to ask you to the middle of the lake where I’d hoped we could, um… dance.” Timeline eyes darted to hers and away rapidly, never quite settling anywhere.
Cheerilee’s mouth dropped open. “You wanted us to dance on the water?”
The stallion nodded, the flush reaching his cheeks. “I knew the fireflies would be out soon, and the crickets and frogs would begin singing. I was hoping that you'd really enjoy it.”
Cheerilee kicked at the air and imagined that it was a living sneeze. “I can’t believe this! Why, when I—Berry!”
Spinning slowly in the air, Cheerilee finally found herself face down. Many yards below, her friend trotted somewhat unsteadily along the path that circled the lake. Cheerilee cupped her hooves around her mouth. “Berry! Berry, up here!”
On the ground, the earth pony looked this way and that, bewildered.
“No! Up here!” Cheerilee waved her legs frantically.
Finally looking up, Berry Punch waved back with equal vigor. Off balance, she stumbled to the side and threw a hoof out to catch herself on a tree truck. She gave Cheerilee her sunniest smile.
“Go get us some help! Call a pegasus!”
Berry cupped a hoof around her ear, and then shrugged.
“Ooh, that pony!” Cheerilee growled, slapping a hoof over her face. “Go back into town and get somepony to come rescue us!”
Her friend just tilted her head to the side.
“I think we’ll have to pantomime it,” Timeline said. “We’re probably thirty feet up now. I’m sure she can’t understand us at all.”
Cheerilee noted with some alarm that Berry did seem to be getting further away. “Okay, let’s do it.” Side by side, the ponies alternated between running, pointing back to town, and screaming into each other ears.
Finally, Berry perked up and nodded vigorous. Moving out onto the path, she swayed in place before mirroring the pair’s moves. Feeling the groove, she added few hoof scoots and rump shakes to liven things up a little.
“No, you lush! Quit dancing and go get a pegasus!”
Wiping her brow, Berry waved a final time and set out on the path again.
“Not that way!” Cheerilee said, glowering. “BACK TO TOWN!”
Timeline sighed, upside down once more. “It’s no use. We’ll just have to hope she runs into somepony and tells them.”
“That mare! She’s lucky I don’t have magic myself or I’d—Hey wait a minute!” Cheerilee’s face crinkled. “Can’t you just cancel the spell or teleport us down? You’re a unicorn!”
Timeline tried to smile, but it somehow never made it past a pained grimace. “I’d have to know which spell I cast in order to cancel it. That’s the problem with Spastic Horn. I can’t control what comes out. I wanted us to be more buoyant, not to fly.” He shook his head sadly. “As for my magic, I generally use it for historical research. I don’t know much about flight or teleportation. It’s not something that I generally need. I can barely lift a book, let alone move a fully grown mare.”
“How can there not be a pegasus around?” Cheerilee said, craning her neck to scan the area. “There’s always a pegasus around! You can barely trot to the store and back without Rainbow Dash dropping a water balloon on you or something!” Cheerilee crossed her hooves tightly. “Then when you really need them…”
“Shoo. Get off me!”
Cheerilee twisted around to get a look. Behind her, Timeline was trying to shake off a pair a fatigued green jays. Kicking his legs lightly, the stallion tried to encourage them to fly off.
They landed again immediately, chirping at the unicorn in increasingly agitated tones.
“I said leave me be!”
Cheerilee waved her hooves. “No! Stop! Look, you’re sinking!”
Timeline squinted, first at Cheerilee and then at the ground. “I think you’re right!”
“The birds!” Cheerilee beamed and pointed. “They’re weighing you down!”
Timeline was noticeably lower now. “Okay, now we just have to get one of them over to you.” Enveloping a green jay with his magic, Timeline tugged. “Okay, how about this one—ow!”
Scowling at the stallion, the green jay sank is tiny talons into Timeline’s hip and refused to let go. When the stallion pulled harder, the jay pecked him.
“Why you little—”
“They’re tired. They just want to rest,” Cheerilee said as the other jay poked its head under its wing.
“But they’re all we’ve got!”
Several feet separated them now, and Cheerilee desperately wanted to put her hoof out and catch hold of the stallion. “I know,” she finally said, watching him drift away. “And that’s why you’ve got to get to the ground and run as fast as you can. Find any pony with wings and get them into the air.”
Overhead, a flock of ducks flew in a wide chevron, quacking loudly. Cheerilee winced when the flight leader gave her a double take. “And hurry!”
As Timeline sank further away, Cheerilee squinted at the ducks. Performing a wingover, they glared back. Their eyes promised pain. Maybe Timeline will make it and maybe he won’t, but ducks weight a lot more than tiny songbirds. I took out a giant, love-crazed robot. A bunch of malicious mallards should be a cakewalk! Growling, Cheerilee shook her hoof at the approaching flock. “Bring it, you featherbrains!”
Oh my god!
So that date went rather well.
4454658
Hi, friend!
4471717 On the Cheerilee scale, it was not too bad. Of course, Cheerilee as a measure is a lot like kelvin. Her date scale starts significantly lower than celsius or farhenheit equivalents.
4471712 Yeah. He's got his own problematic dates going on…
Knowing Cheerilee she probably got rather brusied up by the time she got back down to the ground. She just can't catch a break it seems.
4471717 I think this might be her second best date, after Carmel.
Well at least he meant well, his dancing on water idea seemed like it would be very romantic.
I can't tell if Timeline's an idiot or if something's really clouding his judgement. He knew about this condition long before this date, didn't he? How could he have thought that casting a complicated spell was a good idea?!
Also, Berry Punch is really gonna be in trouble when Cheerilee gets down from there.
As for the bad ending:
Here's a challenge for Date 41: Lightning The Mood.
Continue directly from this one, after Cheerilee gets her pegasus.
[youtube=fhOrxkGlLDM]
4450629 If you feel bad for Caramel in chapter four, well… You've got quite a ride ahead.
4471847 Bruised and severely pecked? Yes. Earthbound again? Worth it.
4471885 He's a typical unicorn. Lots of intelligent planning. A little light on the common sense.
4472049 Well, he can't just stop unicorn-ing because he's got a condition. It's a gamble. It's not like he always sneezes. But when you are dating Cheerilee, you're gonna sneeze.
I really wanted Berry Punch to be totally useless so that I can use that in the future.
4472448 I live in the Bay Area, and I'm happy to stay here. Fresno is too hot. It is nice scenery, though. I prefer going north to south. I like the mountains and forests.
4472821 Pegasus? Screw that. I'm going to send in Ponoka with a hang glider.
Though Lightning Dust is a good idea...
4473137 You know, it seemed like when that movie came out that no one liked it. Now everyone loves it. I wonder exactly when that happened.
4472821
Followed by "Lighting the mood", about a date with a lighting designer or possibly a mirror-themed supervillain; "Light, in the mood", about a date with a surprisingly randy superintelligent shade of blue; "Light in the moo", about a date with a cheery, easily amused cow; "Light I the moo", a sequel to the previous wherein Cheerilee must illuminate said cow; "Light the moo", a retread of same; I don't know what comes next but "Lit the moo" could serve as the epilogue to the "cow illumination" arc...
Was Berry drunk? She definitely seemed drunk, so I'm not sure anyone is going to believe her about the non-pegasi flying ponies.
Also, I feel like we should be able to place bets on Cheerilee vs. the ducks.
4474662
If we're going to follow this joke to the bitter end, I'd think the next few steps after "Light The Moo" would be:
Light Them, O! - A special musical episode where Cheerilee dates a family of anarchist bombers.
Light The M - misadventures as she dates a motel owner and the first letter of his sign goes dark.
Light Hem - Rarilee
Igh, THEM? - She's followed by stalkers.
Igthem - She dates a Scrabble cheater.
I, The M - Cheerilee dates the motel owner's sign, because it can't go worse than dating him, really. Experimental chapter told in first person view from her date's perspective. He turns gay and dumps her for Tom.
Item - a date goes right and she asks for a second.
It*m - Psych! He dumps her, and she tries to scrub her mind of the experience, to mix*d and we*rd re*ults.
It - The less said about this the better
I - A date with Rosie Hoofs.
BRING IT!!!!!!
4475216 Berry was definitely drunk. There isn't a chance in Tartarus anypony is going to believe her.
4472821
For bonus points, the pegasus is Lightning Dust.
Drunk Dancy Berry. I had a lot of fun just imagining that.
Oh, Berry...
Anyway, funny chapter! Forty chapters, and I'm still looking forward to every chapter just as much as I did back when I started read this!
4473927 Really? I dunno, I always loved that movie. Possibly though many people watched it before they could understand why so much of it was actually funny, and before they could appreciate how sweet and loveable some of the characters really were.
4485190 Yeah. And, that that was my favorite scene.
GODDAMN IT!!! ONE OF THESE DAYS THESE OWL CITY SONGS WILL GET LUCKY!!!
Ah ducks, truly the most terrifying of animals. Why are you looking at me like that? No seriously, ducks are demented. It happened back in chapter...one of the earlier ones. Wait, where are you going? I'M NOT CRAZY!!!
5838578 Ducks really are evil; one third of their sex is rape. Legit.
4471847 I bet she caught a duck, though.