Date Nine - Pet Peeves
“Whoa, hey there!” Cheerilee called out as Sea Swirl nearly ran into her at a full gallop. “Watch where you’re going!” She frowned after the mare as she receded into the distance. “Some ponies…”
Shrugging, she turned back to Bell Curve. “So you’ve been collecting data in Saddle Arabia all this time?” Cheerilee asked as they strolled down the wide central street in Ponyville. It had been years since she’d last seen Bell Curve, and he’d only grown more handsome since their days at college together.
“Yeah, you wouldn’t believe it there,” he sighed. “The culture. The architecture. The opulent restaurants. It’s all so amazing, but then you’ll look right across the street, and there are literally ponies starving to death.”
“That’s terrible!” Cheerilee said, stopping to cover her heart with a hoof. “But surely—”
“Run!”
Cheerilee and Bell Curve nimbly stepped aside as Lily charged down the street. “What's going on?!” she called after the mare. “I think we might want to skip the café,” Cheerilee said to Bell, her brow furrowing.
“Yeah. Me, too…” he said, turning to watch as the mare scrambled to make the sharp turn around a corner. “C’mon. Let’s get out of here.” Bell and Cheerilee turned, trotting back the way they’d come. “Anyway, Princess Celestia wants a report as soon as she can get one detailing the wealth inequalities there. She doesn’t want trade relations with countries that are committing atrocities.”
“Well, I can certainly see—”
“It’s awful!”
“Run for your lives!”
Cheerilee grimaced, looking over her shoulder. Roseluck and Amethyst Star were nearing them at a flat out sprint, with a wide-eyed Applejack close behind.
“Y’all skedaddle!” Applejack called out. “This town’s gonna be overrun!”
Cheerilee and Bell Curve broke into a gallop, attempting to keep pace with the growing crowd of panicked ponies. “What’s happening?” Cheerilee yelled over the sound of pounding hooves.
“Fluttershy’s off her medication again!” Applejack called back over her shoulder. “Ah gotta go find Twilight, but until then, y’all need to head to whatever bolt-hole ya got. Lock the doors and don’t come out until we give the say so!”
“Medication?” Cheerilee said, arching an eyebrow at the farmer. “Medication for what?”
‘Shy’s got A.A.D.!” Applejack called back. She rolled her eyes as Cheerilee and Bell Curve stared back blankly. “Animal Adoptive Disorder! Usually, she’s fine because her medication keeps it in check, but her prescription’s run out and the pharmacist is outta town! She didn’t want to bother nopony, so she kept it to herself. Now, we've got a powerful mess on our hooves!”
“What are you talking about?!” Cheerilee called as Applejack pulled away from them with her powerful strides.
“If she sees you, she’ll try to make you take somethin’ home!” Applejack called back faintly. “She’s got more animals than Ah can corral by myself, and the farm’s too far away. Only Twilight can fix this!”
“Did you get any of that?” Bell asked.
“Oh, I get it, all right…” Cheerilee said, grimacing. WHY?! she thought, pursing her lips. Why can’t I just have one good day out with a stallion?!
“Well, clue me in, because—oof!”
Cheerilee’s hooves skidded on the cobblestones as she attempted to stop. Behind her, Bell had tripped on a saddlebag that somepony had dropped in the mad escape. Cheerilee ran back to help him up.
“I’m okay!” he said, shaking his head vigorously. “I just knocked myself…” Bell’s voice trailed off as his pupils shrank to pinpoints. He pointed behind Cheerilee with a trembling hoof.
Cheerilee slowly turned, her heart beginning to race as animals slowly filled the street, blocking the exits. Sad animals, with shimmering eyes the size of dinner plates. Eyes that spoke of longing and unfulfilled need.
“Look, Angel!” Fluttershy’s soft voice called from somewhere above them. “We’ve finally found some ponies that are ready to bring several dozen lonely animals into their homes!”
“Oh, Fluttershy!” Cheerilee said, laughing nervously as the circle of hopeful animals tightened. “I couldn’t possibly! I… I have the foals, and that’s about all I can handle.”
“Oh, but just look at them!” Fluttershy said, pointing to a small colony of elephant seals. “They want to be part of your family so desperately!” The male seal rose, trumpeting deafeningly through its enormous nose. “How could you possibly say no to that face?” Fluttershy said, grinning widely.
“Do… you know this pony?” Bell whispered behind his hoof.
“I’ve never seen her like this!” Cheerilee said quietly, turning in a small circle. There was no escape. Creatures of all varieties stuffed the streets, houses and rooftops. “Fluttershy’s usually so unassuming.” she continued as she began to tremble.
“Oh, I know!” Fluttershy said, her smile showing far too many teeth. “How about a duck?” The pegasus reached behind a flowerpot and pulled out a mallard, who glared at Cheerilee, pulling his wing across his throat menacingly. “I have several here who say that they can’t wait to spend some quality time with you alone!” Fluttershy patted the duck gently on the head. “Ducks are so sweet!”
“No!” Cheerilee yelled, her hooves slipping as she scrambled a few feet backward. “No ducks! I’m, ah… allergic!” she finished as Fluttershy frowned, lowering her ears.
“Look, here’s the deal,” Fluttershy growled, advancing on the pair. “You’re gonna take some animals, you got that?”
Bell and Cheerilee threw their legs around each other, shaking.
“I’ve got three hundred and sixty-eight snuggly, cuddly, wonderful animals here, just waiting for a home,” Fluttershy continued, her lips pulled back to snarl at the pair, “so that’s a hundred and eighty-four for each of you!” Fluttershy loomed over them, her enormous eyes gleaming with maniacal animal fervor. “You wouldn’t want to disappoint them…” she said quietly, sweeping her hoof wide, “would you?”
Cheerilee and Bell Curve followed hoof, trembling as they clung to each other. In all directions ostracized otters, excluded elephants, and ignored iguanas advanced on them, their faces filled with barely suppressed love.
“Cheerilee,” Bell whispered into her ear. “I-I’m going to create a diversion. I need you to try and make a break for it!”
“No!” Cheerilee said, gripping the stallion tightly. “I won’t leave you behind!”
“Look, we won't both make it,” he said, sweating as his fear-filled eyes scanned the horde of love-starved animals. “You’ve got ponies here who are depending on you. I-I’m just a lone stallion, making his way in the world. Nopony will miss me much.”
“That’s not true!” Cheerilee said, “I’ll—”
“Shh,” Bell said, cutting gently across her. “You know, you always were a cutie, Cheerilee,” he continued, planting a kiss between her eyes. “Run for it!”
Bell Curve flung her away. “I’ll take some pets!” he called.
And Cheerilee ran as hundreds of animals descended on the stallion. His screams from their collective hugging and snuggling echoed through the streets behind her.
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3546100 I have a friend who is a deputy, so when I'm around him, I tend to hang out with a lot of his cop friends. Turnkey was modeled off of them.
...Through Neuro-shy, you have captured the essence of my local neighbour who is constantly badgering me to buy his newborn son.
Also:
“Look, we both won’t make it,” he said, sweating as his fear-filled eyes scanned the horde of love-starved animals. “You’ve got people here who are depending on you. I-I’m just a lone stallion, making his way in the world. Nopony will miss me much.”
What the hell are PEOPLE?
3546137 Oops! Correcting now!
Has anypony ever told you that you can be downright scary sometimes, Flutters?
But still, tough luck on Cheerilee's part. I mean, how was she supposed to know something crazy would happen today? Ponyville is just a backwater town that was once the chaos capital of the world, is right next to the evil forest, is home to some of the most eccentric ponies in Equestria, and I just answered my own question, didn't I?
3546180 I think it's really just down to Cheerilee. If she moved, Ponyville would be a sleepy nowhere town. She's the generator of chaos!
3546137
wat?
“Fluttershy’s off her medication again!”
FLUTTER SHY is on MEDICATION!?
also
‘Shy’s got A.A.D.!
At this point i got uppset, becuse their is a learning disorder called ADD that my little brother got, who is a liter version of ADHD, which I got, and I thought you were trying to make fun of us who have it. Plus that ADD is mostly concentration problems, and ADHD can some times be hyperactivety, which I thought you were thinking of, and you can acctually take medecin to help you concentrat if you got ADD or ADHD.
“Animal Adoptive Disorder!
When I read this, my mood changed from upset to laughing, becuse you weren't trying to make fun of people who have it, your just joking around with the diagnostik it self!
Damn, and the only good one sacrifices himself. Too bad, Cheers.
3546254 My mom is a psychologist, so I take mental health pretty seriously. I don't normally make jokes about it in that kind of a way. Mental health can be used for humor, as I'm trying to do here, but I don't really want to be insulting about it.
3546289 Cheerilee has Ataru Moroboshi levels of ill-luck.
3546310 Dammit! Pinkie is so adorable!
3546182 Everyone always thinks 'weirdness magnet' is free advantage points...
3546345 Weirdness Magnet. That reminds me of playing TORG.
3546293
You didn't insulted me, becuse like I said, when I had read the sentence below I understud that you wasn't trying to insult or make fun of anyone and calmed my self down and broke in to laughter!
3546303
At least you are thoroughly enjoying(perhaps a bit too much) annoying her. I know I am enjoying it.
3546180
I'm pretty certain Ponyville is still the chaos capital of the world.
Forget about Discord. Ponyville earned that title the moment Twilight Sparkle and Spike stepped off that chariot.
No wonder he ended up living there peacefully. He can't possibly compete with the likes of the Mane Six or the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Harmony, schmarmony.
3546482 It's fun because the stories are short. I can come up with a concept, write it, and post it in about an hour. I should probably spend a little more time editing them, but, eh... this is my low-key, "I'm not going to be anal about it" story.
Poor Cheerilee, she almost had that one.
I'm now at that point where you're just like "OH COME ON!"
But don't worry. I wouldn't give up this story for anything
3547090 That's what I've been saying for a while. It some point, it's going to be like kicking a puppy, so I'll have to give the story up. People might actually start getting turned off.
3546963 There's still a chance in the future. If he manages to survive long enough for Twilight to get there. And, you know, if she doesn't screw up whatever magic she's going to attempt…
3547427 Oh, that's just what Equestria needs. Pinkie with the munchies.
I hope he makes a return
3547540 I liked that stallion, so I left it open-ended.
3547551 perhaps after 1000 dates he gets another date and it goes well
3547561 Perhaps. That's a pretty long way off, though… He's a smart cookie. If I bring him back, he'll probably figure the score out pretty quickly and insist the he and Cheerilee are just hangin' out. Exclusively.
Oh my, her sanity must be shattered by now. I wouldn't be able to handle that much.
3547199 NO.
DO
NOT
GIVE
THE
STORY
UP
3547427
3548363 It won't be anytime soon, I guarantee that.
3548401 Good.
Heh, this is still pretty delightful.
There is, of course, only one date I have got to see. It is the date you cannot end this story without. You just aren't allowed to.
i42.tinypic.com/2hoieec.png
while you do a chapter with Zecora, as you were talking about maby do in the comments at chapter 8?
3550406 At a thousand dates, I'm pretty sure you're going to get a chapter about every single MLP character as some point. I love Zecora, so she will definitely make an appearance.
3549442 Oh, don't you worry. That dude is a lock. He's waaaaaay too weird not to use at some point. I just feel like he needs to be unleashed for a special occasion.
3550437
Then Cheerilee must be VERY desperat at that point...
Plus, I can imagen her dating a drunk Berry Punch! *Bursting into laughter from the imagenation of cheerilee being on a date with the town drunk, Berry puch*
3550437
Yesssssssssssssssss
3550447 You should go read my Pinkie letters in The Mailbox. When I sent Pinkie to Fort Troterdale because she heard it was a real party city, she encountered all the drunkenness she could deal with.
3550506
Will do!
Oh y god...I love it. I like that some of the dates will just be poor circumstance rather than just bad judgement
3550847 Yeah, I really want a wide spread. I'm going to have to have a wide spread of events because one thousand is a large number. What I really need to do soon is have a date or two that Cheerilee herself ruins.
3546182
Chaos you say? You couldn't possibly...
ponywallpapers.com/wallpapers/1/discord-2675-1920x1200.jpg
3548008 Fluttershy is nuttier than a fruitcake, but she's just so quiet that nopony knows...
This reminds me of "Huggled".
3552600 Less feathery and more bone-crushing, but there were some annoying hugs involved.
A braver stallion has never been known...
~Skeeter The Lurker
Man, Rat Race was a good movie. Nice tribute chapter.
That was the best one yet! It's also the saddest 'cause Cheerilee actually had a chance that time. It's like the universe hates her or something. Maybe she should talk to Cadance.
3565283 yeah Cheerilee needs some help.