Diamond Days

by Bysen

Acceptance

Silverspoon hadn’t left her side. Not once. Literally not once. The bathrooms got awkward. But she absolutely refused to leave Diamond Tiara’s side for the last three days. You could say Silverspoon was as much to blame for what happened to Twist has DT was, and you would be right. But Diamond took it so much harder. Though if you asked anypony else...

Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo and even Snips and Snails had said they didn’t blame her. Twist’s sister Bon-Bon however… they were sure if they hadn’t stopped her that she had intended on killing Diamond Tiara just like Applebloom had. And while really that was only beat the living hay out of her and not actually kill her, it was still a very heavy situation they’d had to deal with.

Naturally she hadn’t been to school since then, not that much of her class had either. Today was Friday, and every student and Cheerilee was here today. It was Twist’s funeral. Bon-Bon wasn’t thrilled about Diamond Tiara being there. DT wasn’t too thrilled about it either. It was a ‘celebration of Twist’s life’ and for all the things she’d said about the filly, Diamond didn’t know Twist at all.

Still, every part of it hurt her. Every word from the parent’s eulogy, every little fact she learnt about Twist after it was too late, it all just dug into her. But what hit her the hardest was when asked if anypony would like to speak, Applebloom stepped forward. She, along with Silverspoon, had been there constantly for her. And as thankful as Diamond was, that fact her hurt too. Diamond Tiara knew that Applebloom wanted to… no, needed to grieve. But because of her, she was never given the chance.

Once she took the stage, Applebloom didn’t start speaking right away. Instead she just looked out over the crowd, looking towards Twist’s family, towards her own family in attendance and then to her friends. And while Applebloom called Diamond Tiara her friend, Diamond still didn’t believe it was anything more than not wanting the guilt that hung over her head about Twist over Applebloom’s head about herself.

“Me and Twist… we were friends. Ah don’t know if she knew that. Ah hope she did, ah really do. Ah don’t know how she musta felt… ta think ya’self so alone. That nopony’d care if yer gone.” she paused for a moment. “Ponies‘ll always care. Even if you don’t think they will! And, and ah’m asking all’a ya. Ah’m BEGGIN’ y’all... please. Ah know so many of ya think it. But it ain’t Diamond Tiara’s fault.”

Diamond up until now had been looking down at the ground, at Silverspoon’s hoof over her own. She instantly looked up at Applebloom when she heard it. She knew it, knew half the class blamed her. Knew Twist’s sister and likely her parents blamed her too. She wouldn’t even be surprised if Silverspoon secretly blamed her. But she was surprised that maybe... perhaps, Applebloom didn’t.

“She’s been hurtin’ just as much as any’a us. Some’a you need somepony ta blame… ah get that. Ah did too. But don’t go blamin’ her! Blame… me, if ya have ta blame somepony. Like ah said, me and Twist, we were friends… ‘were’. Ah think ah may’ve been her only friend ta ever hang out wit’ her outside’a school. Than ah stopped. Ah don’t blame Diamond Tiara. It ain’t her fault. Ah, ah blame maself!”

Applebloom finished and walked away. She had planned to say more. She just didn’t think she’d be able to though. She’d planned out exactly what she would say over and over earlier that morning. In the moment though, it had all gone out the window. Aside from the first few words, nothing she’d said had been part of that plan. A few steps away from her place in the crowd she was met by a hug from her older sister not a metre away from Diamond Tiara who could easily see the tears rolling down her friend’s face… her friend.

A few more ponies spoke on Twist’s behalf. Some brighter, some darker, some understandable and one who barely got out a single comprehensible word out. Once that finished, it was time for the final farewells. It was a closed casket, with a simple picture of Twist smiling happily on top of it. Family went first, followed by Applebloom, Snips and Snails, then Cheerilee, before ponies DT didn’t really know followed. Then lastly a few ponies from her class and others from town went and paid their respects.

Applebloom returned from the front, Snips and Snails not far behind. “D’you wanna say anything Diamond?” she said, indicating towards the casket.

“What can I even say?” she replied. It was true, she had no idea what to say. In fact, those had even been her first words she’d said aloud since arriving at the wake.

“It don’ matter what you say, ya don’t have ta say anything even… just… just go up and show her that you’ll miss her.” Applebloom said with a smile as she put a hoof onto her friend’s shoulder. “Ya will miss her, won’t ya?”

Diamond Tiara took a moment to answer, but she did. “Yes…” and she began forwards. Halfway there, she looked to her left, then to her right and noticed something. For the first time in three day now, Silverspoon wasn’t by her side. And naturally, despite having wanted her gone so many times since then, she felt she needed her there more than ever.

DT began to turn around, her courage and will to see Twist suddenly all but gone. And yet, as she did Diamond saw her. No, she saw them. All of them. Silverspoon, Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, Snips and Snails. They were all staring at her. But it wasn’t the stare she’d been getting from other ponies. There was no blame, no hate, no anything other than compassion and possibly even admiration from a few.

And she may have imagined it, and probably had seem this was a funeral, but Diamond Tiara swore she had seen Applebloom giving her an approving smile. And that’s all she needed. Silverspoon may not be by her side, but instead she had six friends at her back. She’d once thought she knew the pain of having nopony that Twist had been feeling. But she knew from this day on, she never would again.

All that aside however, as she closed the last few steps up to the coffin, she felt that stare she’d been feeling earlier once again. Such blame and hatred… Bon-Bon was standing next to her as she came to a halt. Diamond had killed her sister, she couldn’t blame the mare for hating her. The two locked eyes for a moment before Diamond broke away. Bon-bon though kept her gaze locked on the filly even after they had broken eye contact.

But… she hadn’t killed Twist. What DT had done was horrible yes, but it wasn’t her fault Twist had died. Applebloom and all the others assured her of that. And Diamond Tiara knew it too. It wasn’t her fault. And she truly believed it wasn’t her fault. She had nothing to be guilty over, nothing at all… and yet. “I’m sorry…” she whispered, putting a hoof onto the coffin and looking at the smiling picture of Twist atop of it. “I’m sorry!” she cried much louder than the last.

Diamond Tiara slumped onto the casket and cried. It was all she could do. She had nothing to say sorry for and yet it’s all she could think to say. She was there for nearly a minute before she felt a hoof on her shoulder. Diamond just kept her face up against the wooden box for a short while longer. Eventually she lifted herself away and turned to thank her friend for their support. But it wasn't any of them, it was Bon-Bon’s hoof on her shoulder. And she had just as many tears running down her face as DT did.

Diamond Tiara lunged at the mare, wrapping her hooves around Bon-Bon as she in turned wrapped her hooves around Diamond. “I know… I know my sister. She, she…” Bon-bon trailed off. She couldn’t bring herself to say it. As much as she hated this filly in her hooves, she knew what she was going to say was true, and honestly, she felt it herself. “I knew my little sister…”

“She forgives you.”

Cloding credits music

Author's Note:

An overview of the ideas that created this fic:

This is a spiritual prequel to my story Happy Anniversary Sug in that it’s inspired by a small bit of backstory I mention in it but not completely in it's fanon. If it was then Scootaloo would be gone, living in Cloudsdale and Applebloom would already have gotten her Cutie Mark as a result of events leading from her beating the shit out of Diamond. It seemed a bit much to put into this seems it wasn’t really relevant.

Original idea was that DT already had some depression issues and teasing others made herself feel better. When she got really down on herself she called those ‘Diamond Days’.
However some of those elements stayed in place. Like how DT got her 'self-esteem boost' for the day in chapter one. Also for the first two chapters I was writing this with the already being depressed idea in mind and as such the scene where she's lying in bed crying was at the end of chapter 3 was originally at the end of chapter 1.

[There was some really creepy stuff here involving Filthy Rich that I deleted]

That's about all there is to say and yet I still feel I should say more.
Oh and if you haven't figured it how by how many times I plugged it already, I want you to go read Happy Anniversary Sug.
All 40 chapter, 600 pages, 300000 words. Because seems this a prequel then that is the sequel.
It's basically a soap opera with ponies.
And while you're at it, thumbs up, favourite, comment, follow and yada yada yada... all that self promotey stuff!
I have about 50 views per new chapter and only 13 thumbs up at this point in time and if you've read this far you clearly like the story. Click it! Or better yet, comment. comments mean so much more to me than favs or likes!

The song at the end was Geeky McGeekstein: Closer English Fandub - Naruto Shippudden and if you didn't listen to it, I highly recommend it.

Any way, thanks for reading, much love.
Bysen.

Comments

[Telaros]

This was honestly one of those stories I been waiting for completion. A couple questions about certain choices like the letter CMC found, and AB not blaming DT so sudden, though given the circumstances it took place in I took it more as a thing felt needed to be said AB to prevent another death and not actually wanting to have it on her conscience, given the way everything was going with how emotions were high and just all over the place I don't really know what to make of her prideful proclamation/guilt she felt..
The perks of reading a story like this only once its complete, is you have no real loose ends that rely on things being shown much later to fully fleshed out mostly all the smaller problems.

Yet that one sinking feeling that this story still sorta just feels incomplete keeps nawing at me. It may be unnecessary, but since AB didn't seem to know if Twist thought of her as a friend and if we assume the letter they found in the dairy was one of possible few potential attempts at writing to AB, maybe a first draft that left out certain pieces, I wouldn't be against seeing a "Bonus" chapter with DT handing AB the note and filling her in on what happened in the last moments. That could probably strain the new relationship, and not needed admittedly, but it has a lot of room for more emotional impact to warrant an AB and DT heart to heart.

The magic and flight are going to be hard to replicate afterwards but I imagine with time and proper guidance that they'll be just fine.

Aside from all that, this was a fabulous story. Love it. It really tackled a lot of what tends to happen to those with low self esteem and feel the way felt in this story. The ending hit all the high notes, though. I had high hopes for this story and it gave me everything I wanted to see about consequences and the sometimes obliviousness of what some go by thinking are just harmless teasing or "they'll get over it". DT's calls for Silver Spoon asking if they were friends was very emotional for me. Very real. Great job. Really great job with this story. Shame many tend to avoid things that make you sad, this story deserves way more views. I'll be sure to recommend this one to others.

[MagerBlutooth]

How appropriate it is that death is associated with the color black. When you add black to any other color, you make that color darker, and when it comes to writing, death is the same way. You throw in one death to even the most mundane slice of life story, and just watch how much darker it becomes when you play it straight. So then, if death is black, what color is suicide? Because when you play that one straight, good luck finding any happiness in your story ever again.

Let's start with a general synopsis of the story. Silver Spoon and Diamond have a falling out. Then Twist kills herself after Diamond basically tells her to do so. Diamond finds out after reading Twist's suicide letter and tries to kill herself. The CMC save her, Silver and Diamond make up, they all become friends, and everyone concludes that Twist's death isn't Diamond's fault after all.

My first impression of this story is that it's spearheaded by its moral rather than its story or characters. I'm sure the fact that it's a prequel to your other story is part of the reason, but everything from the plot to the characters seems tailored to resemble a typical after-school special on suicide. Diamond's character represents the bully that teases others to make herself feel better and hide her depression, Twist represents the victim who is bullied into doing the deed, Apple Bloom is the friend of the victim who feels intense hatred against the bully, etc. The only character who seems to break the mold of the standard format is Silver Spoon, the friend of the bully who participated in the teasing but genuinely wants to help her friend get through her problems. It's an archetype I'm not overly familiar with, and it helped add some flavor to this otherwise straightforward story.

Seeing as how the moral is so important to this story, having a strong moral is key to the story's success. For the most part, I think this story's main moral works well. The strongest moral I picked up revolves around friendship and how friendship has the power to pull people out of their depression regardless of how far they've fallen. It doesn't declare any absolutes and provides a lesson that reflects reality. As far as morals go, it seems very solid. However, there was another one I picked up on that worked less well.

Blame is a strong theme in this story. Pretty much everyone blames Diamond Tiara for Twist's death, including Diamond herself. That's why she decides to kill herself. However, by the end of the story, everyone unanimously concludes that Diamond isn't to blame after Apple Bloom makes a speech that includes the following quote:

Some’a you need somepony ta blame… ah get that. Ah did too.

Apple Bloom says that she is to blame instead, and...that's it. That's the final word on the subject. No agreement, no disagreement, not even a random comment. We're just left to assume that Apple Bloom continued to blame herself for Twist's death and everyone else did too. If the issue is addressed in your other story, you'll have to excuse me, but the moral I'm getting from this is that when tragedy strikes, it's important to have a scapegoat. When your loved one dies, you need something to hate. Somebody has to be vilified or people will just break down. It's not exactly the kind of moral I can get behind, and while it's really more of an implied message than a direct one, the fact that no one commented on it or offered any counterargument means the story's in favor of the message by default. I guess it would come down to a philosophical argument to determine if this is truly bad for the story, but I personally think having someone say something in regards to Apple Bloom's speech one way or the other would be beneficial.

Aside from the primary moral, what I like most about this story is how you pulled off Diamond's turnaround. You started this story with a Diamond Tiara who's many times more malicious and insecure than the show would have us believe, even to the point of her hating herself at a suicidal level. After Twist kills herself, we witness the full extent of her depression as she tries to deal with her loneliness alone. Then, by the end of the story, we end up with a quote like this:

She’d once thought she knew the pain of having nopony that Twist had been feeling. But she knew from this day on, she never would again.

This story confronts one of the darkest subject matters of writing in existence and manages to end things on an optimistic note. However, it doesn't attempt to ignore or forget the darkness in order to achieve its happy ending. In other words, it doesn't cheat. Twist is still dead. What Diamond did was still horrible. The emotional shadow of grief and misery still looms over them all. However, the true murderer, the isolation and depression that resulted in Twist's death, has been slain, and now those affected have a chance to move forward. It's a bittersweet ending, exactly the kind of ending a story like this needs.

As for what I had the most problem with, this story is held back by a notable lack of subtlety, which is really what gives it the feeling of an after-school special. Everyone's emotions are transparent, because we're told what they are as soon as they come into existence. Apple Bloom's furious when she yells at Diamond by the counselor office, Diamond's furious at Apple Bloom when AB tries to console her about losing Silver Spoon, and Twist hates Diamond Tiara and the greeting she receives from her. All of these emotions are outright stated, not implied. It's like making your characters wear giant sandwich signs that label how they're feeling at all times. It removes the ability for the reader to determine how they are feeling based on their speech and body language, thereby making it feel less real and more pandering. If we're omnisciently following a character, it's okay to say what's going through their mind, but you want to avoid blanket statements like "She was sad" and "He was angry". They make an emotional scene less interesting, and emotional scenes should be the ones your reader is most interested to read.

I'm not exactly sure what Silver Spoon was doing while Diamond was trying to kill herself. I guess Diamond asked her to give her a minute so she could find time to materialize a rope from nowhere. Or maybe the rope was Diamond's gift for Silver's next Diamond Day. If that were true, I guess I'd finally understand why the story's titled the way it is.

A few grammar problems here and there, but nothing that makes the story unreadable. There's a bit too much avoidance of 'said' in the dialogue tags, but that's an issue of style rather than syntax. I did have more to say, but I believe this review is sufficiently long enough. If you have any questions for me, feel free to ask.

As a final note, I'd call this story a dark chocolate peppermint. It's entirely coated in darkness, but it manages to end on a refreshing note. I'd also like to say good job, especially since dark chocolate isn't the easiest ingredient to effectively use.

Make the most!

[Bysen]

3717798 In regards to Applebloom blaming herself and it's never addressed, just to be assumed that she still does: technically she does but it's more of a 'oops, I didn't think of it that way' than her actually feeling that way intentionally.
The needing someone to blame aspect is pulled from Scrubs and is probably why I didn't think about it. The line from Scrubs was [paraphrasing] 'I know it's not your fault, hell they even know it's not your fault, they just need someone to blame!' said by Dr. Coxx to JD meaning that it's no one's fault in particular, just that blaming someone is a coping mechanism.
If I can find a way to shoe-horn it in without making it feel like it was shoe-horned in I will, otherwise, let's just say that Applejack said something to her when they hugged, DT just didn't hear it.
It's not exactly a good moral, but I think it an accurate one.

As for the loneliness being the main 'bad guy' I agree and I would argue that Snips and Snails lost more than anyone else, seems they where actually friends with her. Aside from Bon-bon and her parents they lost the most.
I was trying to put this more eloquently but I couldn't so I'll just say it out right. I feel they would be hit by the loneliness now themselves, despite the fact that they still have each other [friends, brothers, whatever they are].

Lastly, the use of the word 'rope' was more of a place holder. I imagine it actually being a sheet from her bed or something but in the heat of the moment you're not going to say "Cut the damn rope!" "Actually, Scootaloo, it's a sheet." "STFU and cut it you dictionary and/or thesaurus!"
While you're right about me stating the emotions the character had, this a flimsy comparison at best but, I find it ironic that it's something that I implied and it was mistake.

P.S. 3712021 though I didn't respond to your comment the same way, I very much appreciate it too.

[Moonscape]

Well done, I love this kind of story that somehow makes you feel alive, full of feelings.

[ServingSpoon]

“Me and Twist… we were friends. Ah don’t know if she knew that. Ah hope she did, ah really do.

okay this is the only statement I've had a problem with the entire story. spoiler]I had ignored the fact that there was inexplicably two copies of the suicide note. One that was left on Twist's desk and one that Diamond Tiara picked up that she had discarded during their last meeting.

However it was CLEAR in that note that Twist was accepting that she and Applebloom were no longer friends and even absolved of her of any guilt for breaking up with her. So there should be NO doubt Applebloom's mind that Twist felt that she had no friends and derived to die alone.

[ServingSpoon]

Why a closed casket? She swallowed pills, it's not like she took a nose dive into a wood chipper or something. I know that wasn't funny.. I'm choosing to fight this grief with humor.

[Bysen]

7157456 I probably didn't explain it well but in my mind the first note she was going to deliver, maybe in the hopes of being proven wrong the second note was after DT got the first and she just didn't care enough after that to deliver it.

[ServingSpoon]

7157934 oh yes that tragically makes sense. Well done. And I meant deserved not derived (damn auto correct). But yes all my feels for both Twist and Diamond.