when slenderman left me in paradise

by Jimbob

how do i into learning?

[The demon in my head]

“Well fuck” I said as I had noticed the ever draining light from the sky as the sun set on the horizon “I suppose I could keep running through the night and scare the hell out them by suddenly having a unknown monster appear in the pitch-black night or make base and start tomorrow were the appearance of a unknown creature might be accepted better” I pondered for a moment

[You could always run in there and kill them all with your gun]

"Aren’t you just a little bundle of joy with all your happy thought it’s a wonder why slenderman wanted me to be your host” I wasn’t all that surprised though, I mean what did I expect from a ancient all powerful demon stuck living in my skull while I enjoyed myself in a happy place of ponies, though I did expect much worse too come.
“But I agree with your decision”

[You do want to kill all the ponies?!!]

“Oh is that what you said? No, I thought you said let set-up base camp here, relax enjoy the new world I live in. I simply must get my hearing check” god I loved messing with this guy.

[I will feed you to a group of piranhas]

“Don’t get my hopes up with all your false lies”

[Did I mention the piranhas were rabid? Because they are]

I wasn’t even gonna tell him that would be the end of him too because he knows and doesn’t let me forget with all the ‘foolish mortal’ this and ‘how dare you degrade me that’ honestly it’s a good thing I’m a master of tuning people out. I thought about starting a fire and thought ‘a fire on the horizon that won’t attract any attention especially if the C.M.C is nearby’ god I would be screwed. So I found a comfy patch of grass and pullout the book slender gave me.

“Lets see what I can learn shall we?”

[I would rather play in traffic]

“I would also prefer you to go play in traffic, but lacking that I think we’ll stick with learning!”

[I really hate you, so, so much]

“Oh and here I was dieing without your affection woe is me. NOW TO BOOKS!”

Chapter one: so you have been possessed huh? Well now assuming you can read this you’re not batshit insane which already a reason to celebrate, however if you want to take it a step farther then you need to figure out what type of demons is inhabiting you and how best to use it or work with it too better use their powers and possibly change them for better or worse but these agreements often require compromises. You must also learn what type of demon it is common demons are fire, water, earth, air, luck, and speed. There are several rarer demons such shadow, light, and death. There are fabled demons with multiple powers but these are all but impossible.

‘Work with it? I don’t think I have anything it wants except the ability to kill which I plan on doing very little of’

[There are other things I want]

‘Huh learn something new everyday I suppose’

“And what would that be dear I ask?”

[Muffins]

“Wait! What muffins?! Not that I’m complaining I love muffins but why?”

[None of your damn business that’s why!]

“Riiigghhht demon inside my head wants muffins.” It’s beginning to look more and more likely that I fell in the woods and bashed my head in and now I’m in a coma in a hospital.

[Are you always this paranoid?]

“Why yes I’ am thank you”

[That’s not a compliment]

“Says who? The demon inside my head I never would have gotten if I hadn’t gone into the woods looking for slenderman so he could take me to a land filled with magical talking ponies? Face it bro that’s one of my better traits”

[How did you even know that would work?!]

“I didn’t just part of being insane I suppose, now back to muffins how many we talking here?”

[Three a day]

“Ok let’s begin with the problems here firstly I have a grand total on zero bits, secondly three? A day first we need a job, then we need a house then we concentrate on muffins. Plus hell no three muffins a day I say one at lunch”.

[I see your one at lunch and raise you to two one a breakfast and supper or some such variation after we have a home]

I considered my options on one hand I could just wing learning my power and end up hurting a lot of people or I could buy two muffins a day and have relative control over my powers.

“Deal but we have to be making good cash and have a decent place” come to think of it muffins were probably pretty cheap but never hurt to be caution.

[Deal]

“Ok so what kind of demon are you?”

[Shadow mostly]
“Mostly?”

[I have tinkered in all the different types of demon magic but I have only mastered shadow]

“Well all in all, that’s pretty badass a jack of all trade I like it” now where’s the shadow section in this book? As if reading my mind the book flips open to a chapter on shadow demons.

Shadow demons: these being are strong and crafty while still maintaining the abilities to cloak in shadow as well as move through them. ‘May as well call them rogues’. Quiet you, if the shadow demon is strong enough he may also create objects out of shadows so long as the host allows him to create it. Okay now that was pretty badass I take back the rogue comment. all in all the shadow demon is a powerful ally and deadly enemy and is best not to be angered lest his wrath overtake his host and force him into unpleasant actions. Right don’t piss off the shadow demon

[Dam right]

“What’s that lassie little jimmy fell in the well?! Come on girl!”

[I will kill you]

“I wonder what I should name you. How about Roxy?

[And it won’t be a nice death either one of those painful ones that leave you dead in a ditch]

“You’re right you do look more like a Shelia”

[A fucking ditch in the woods lots of hungry animal in the woods]

“How about shadow?”

[Why the in fucks do I even need a name?!]

“I’m not just gonna keep calling you shadow demon plus that’s not exactly sane sounding I can see it now ‘hi my names Jake and I have a shadow demon living in my head how are you?’ i mean that just sounds crazy”

[yeah what was i thinking]

[I suppose if your gonna call me anything call me knight]

“Knight huh? I can work with that. Now back to spells! Or abilities whatever!”

[It’s gonna be a long-ass night]

“Yes it is gonna be a long night, knight” oh god I love this name already.

[I hate you so much]

A/N: I would like feedback thanks!

Comments

[Grankuwaga]

Awesome~

[Lord_Kalbario]

gahaha!!! yall gots me n stitches hahAHAAAAA

[Disguised]

I don't know what the -blam!- to say yet so let's see where this is going... I got plenty of time.

[The Poster]

[EvilEnchantress]

sweet you know how to use badassery properly

[MOD3037]

Shoulda been O' Malley

[MrPikmario]

Only you.....now I want a voice in my head.....wait......there we go. Apparently wishing upon a star DOES rant wishes!

Or the fact you were pretty much like this guy

Meh. To you, I call you a brother

[Time Squid]

I was hoping the demon would have a personality like that.

[quill and ink]

[MLP BRONY 27]

knight is funny as hell!

[themanesix]

I am thoroughly entertained.....please continue

[AcrylicDawn]

Plus hell no three muffins a day I say one at lunch”.

reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/heeeeell-no.gif
Also, so freaking hilarious, biggest laughs I've had besides my BFFs jokes

I also have voices in my head, not joking, I have a split personality (either from my childhood or I just believe its there or I'm just that imaginative)

[geekmaster]

Knight Reminds me of Black Mage.
outskirtsbattledome.wikispaces.com/file/view/1151906627_sBlackMage.jpg/125144157/1151906627_sBlackMage.jpg

[Galaxy Blaze]

1085419
I know this is old, but I couldn't help noticing the reference. Also, HEEEEEELLLLLLLLLS TO DA NO!!!!! Now I've got the image stuck in my head of Slenderman going around with a British accent, and getting attacked by Halo noobs

[Derpy_DragonV1]

This demon reminds me of GLAD0S