- Member Since 4th Dec, 2012
- offline last seen May 6th
John 117
"I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul"
John 117
Joined 4th Dec, 2012 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- 2unar Stallion · 3.7k words · 188 12 · 7.7k views
- 2unar Stallion · 5k words · 110 13 · 5k views
- Archivedusername · 9k words · 263 20 · 8.9k views
- PonyPlasmaCore · 4.7k words · 202 26 · 9.4k views
- applejackisbestpony2 · 5.5k words · 105 27 · 6.4k views
- Theta · 4.8k words · 9 2 · 479 views
- Distorted-Arzt · 5.7k words · 183 16 · 3.5k views
- RaijingtheClockworkPony · 9.3k words · 203 17 · 4.3k views
Featured In18
Clopfics11,575 stories ·15,819 members
One-Shots18,949 stories ·2,370 members
Humanized Ponies!5,601 stories ·3,469 members
Luna Is The Best Pony4,642 stories ·7,270 members
Humans falling in love with ponies.2,418 stories ·6,082 members
- The Brony Group7 stories ·5 members
Anthropomorphics7,631 stories ·5,014 members
Equestria After Dark511 stories ·2,100 members
Stats
Page generated in 0.167 seconds
Total duration
752 users online
850,045 hits today, 2,921,617 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Ha! That was fast.
You misspelled the title.
3226257 The story itself isn't as bad.
3226287Is fixing the title possible?
3226296 Whenever the person who wrote it gets on, he will.
Rule of thumb: Never misspell the title and/or description details. That usually puts off readers because they think if even the title isn't correct, the rest of the story will be messed up. Might be unfair, but it's how it goes
3226299
Might want to get him to change this too:
I only laughed a little.
3226510 Lol! I didn't notice that. Oh well, we all make mistakes sometimes.
In a few spots the perspective changed to second then back to first.
I noticed quite a few places where it changed from first person to second person, but one detail slapped me in the face and destroyed all immersion.
When she steps out of the bathroom, she's in a corset.
When she's laying on the bed, she's taking off a shirt, revealing a bra.
3226534 Co-Author: ReaperofSoul42
They missed the second 's'.
3227467 Lol! Try to spot which part of the story was mine.
3227496 I never read incomplete stories! Tch! C'mon, y'know that! 'Sides, now's a dreadful time to be reading... though I WILL be doing edits on stories that I've been asked to be a pre-reader for (Which is now FOUR STORIES.
)
Same as 3226590
Completly threw me, I like a decent story as much as anyone, but when details like this get mixed up it tends to go from enjoying the story to -"Huh, did I miss something?"
good story but need to watch the details.
/ 5
3227542
Yo, shimmering, didn't expect to find you here. Would you be so kind as to review my ongoing clopfic when it's done?
3229108 Ah ha ha, actually, I never review fics unless they're completed. That said, I've had Hot Button Beach Day on my "Read Later" list ever since the first chapter: I've been eagerly awaiting it to be completed.
But if you really want it, I'll forgo my rule, I just don't want it t'go uncompleted or anything, got it?
3229636
I specifically asked that you wait until it is finished. That provides fresh motivation for me to get it done.
3229718 Wow, somehow I missed the "when it's done".
No clue how I missed that, I mean, it's right THERE. 
Sorry.
3226534
Wouldn't it be awkward if he typed in the other vowel
[color=transparent]RaperofSouls42
3226590
Know that feel all too well
3232114 I'd have lol'ed. if he did that.
3232118
Imd have looked at it and laugh for twenty seconds and continue reading
3232132 Hope you enjoyed both of our parts!
3232178
I be enjoyin' the point o' view crisis ye have goin' on.
3232436 Lol! Yeah, we wern't in-sync for a lot of it, so it seems off.
3232439
It be an amazin' show and clash o' talents.
I'm sorry but was this a second person or first person one shot?
You kept saying "You" instead of "I"
Please pick either first person or second then I will continue reading.
It got confusing when you started switching from you and I.
Good story good idea but please pick firs or second person
Interesting concept, but there's some stuff that could use some editing. At one point, you wrote "Luan" instead of "Luna". Also, during the bedroom scene, it's pretty inconsistent what the characters are wearing. For example, Luna starts with a corset and matching leggings, but then she's wearing a shirt and pants.
3242397>>3227467>>3244257
I should have fixed most if not all of the mistakes
(I think
)
3353661 *checks the description*
It's still there!
3354122 and now?...
3356596 Very good!
Hmm... I'll have to check this story out in the near-future. For all the times I've come to the main page, I have yet to read the story... and in that regard, proofread and/or review it.
3357260 AYE SIR! *salutes*
Anthro clop.
Anthro. Clop.
THAT IS NOT! HOW YOU TREAT! THE PRINCESS! OF! THE NIGHT!
3408351 I'm sensing some anger
3226566
3226590
A few? It's more like at least two shifts every four to five non-dialogue sentences. At one point I thought to myself 'Damn, I feel like this is a threesome with all these POV-shifts.'
Concept's good, so faved, but no thumb. Thumb is for grammatically sound writing. While it was good most of the time, the near-constant POV shifting cause the above thought.
3409591
I take it the errors haven't been corrected yet?
3408351 I can think of a few things worse...
Mud Wrestling. Mud. Wrestling.
Rectal Foreplay. Rectal. Foreplay.
Non-lubricated Sodomy. Non-lubricated. Sodomy.
Et cetera. Et. Cetera.
3409772
As of this comment, no.
I want more, another!
Dude... work on your old english
.
still a good read though.
3642184c You do know that Luna is trying to emulate and grow more accustomed to the modern tone of voice? Right?
3642184 Its not supposed to be exact "middle english'; that would be the term you're looking for as well.
3642308 I know that. Just giving you a rough time is all
3642337 oh ok
3642425 still nice profile pic fluttershy 117. Halo Mlp...
I like it. Mine is Dead Space. two equally fun games and this should probably be discussed over a PM Not in the
Comments section
hothothothotgotHOT!
Yeah I need a cold shower now.