I already have an account on Deviantart too so I have fan art there if you wish to see it.
With all of the adventures the Mane 6 has done, it is finally time to take a break. Complimentary of Princess Celestia, the Mane 6 are given tickets to go on a week cruise in the new town of Port Coltian. As the ponies try to relax and enjoy some time having fun on their vacation, tragedy strikes and they are stranded on an island in the middle of nowhere to fend for themselves.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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One problem that's prevalent in this story so far is the use of present and past tense within the same paragraphs. There are many people on this site who would be happy to proof read this story for you. I like your concept but this story needs some fine tuning.
The story concept is great dude,but don't rush the story too fast o_o.
Please keep writing though :3.
Can ponies get a tan? Anyway, story is good though rushed
I am looking forward to seeing where this goes
Sounds like a fun concept, but I concur with previous assessments--it feels a bit rushed, and when all the spoken word text is together with quotation marks back to back itkindoflookslikeonebiglongwordtome and thatreallytakesawayfromthestory.
297672
I'm not trying to rush it but really I cant make the whole story about rounding up the Mane 6! Silly!
297672
30W3704>>299387
I'm not trying to rush it but really I cant make the whole story about rounding up the Mane 6! Silly!
I'm trying to add less of she said and all that blah blah blah. LOL i'm trying my best!
297672
30W3704>>299387
297369
I'm not trying to rush it but really I cant make the whole story about rounding up the Mane 6! Silly!
I'm trying to add less of she said and all that blah blah blah. LOL i'm trying my best!
I'm not really that great at fine tuning, but thats why I write fanfics! So If I do become an author I will have expierence!
Tracked. keep writing.
329277
I'll get back to it when i'm done with my other fanfic "The Iron Horse".
Thanks I will keep writing!