Day Zero: Pony, Going
GOING PONY
Day Zero: Pony, Going
By Sunshine Laughter and Caprice Venäläinen
"Sunshine! Did you notice?"
What?
"The name of the ship! Did you notice the name of this ship we're on?"
Um... no. Why?
"It's the Celestina! This ship is named the Celestina. You know, like 'Celestia', like our princess!"
Do you think it was deliberate? No... it has to be a coincidence. Otherwise, why not just name the ship 'Celestia' and be done with it? Bit of a rust-bucket, I have to say.
"It... needs a little work, but it seems safe enough. Even if the name is just a coincidence - goodness, especially if it's a coincidence, isn't that kind of neat? Maybe it's a little Equestrian magic leaking through!"
Forcing the coincidence of the names being sort-of the same? I don't know anything about magic, Rose. You should probably ask Snowflower. Or Lavender. She's a unicorn too.
"Um... I'm kind of leaving Lavender alone right now. She seems upset, but not willing to talk about it. I tried to find out, but..."
From what she said, you'd think she'd be overjoyed now. We're past the bridge and out into open water. The Barrier is just HUGE. It's hard to stop staring at it. She's the one that didn't want to take a last moment for Earth back there.
"Those with an issue have an issue, Sunshine. I think she's probably worried about leaving Earth forever."
Wait, wait... she is all upset about how Earth is bad and she never liked it, and you're telling me that somehow that really meant she did like it or something?
"When I was in Noe, there was this colt, right. He was really tough and built, all muscles to the withers and big scowl on his muzzle. Tough as nails. But he was really loud. He'd go on and on about how much he hated stallions who loved stallions. He was just constantly saying bad things about them, and condemning them, and telling really cruel jokes about them. It was almost all he could talk about, really. Turns out, in the end, that was his secret, he liked stallions himself. It was how he was trying to hide, by acting out like that. 'Those with an issue, have an issue.' The surest way to find out what a pony really thinks is to look at what they put the most energy into. Like the pony I told you about."
So what do we do? Leaving her alone doesn't sound like the best idea then.
"Sometimes everypony needs space to calm down and deal, right? I'm just giving Lavender some time. We've got a couple of hours before we reach the Barrier. I intended to go talk with her, and see if she'd open up. It's just that it's too soon right now, considering how upset she seemed. That's all."
Yeah. OK. I guess that makes sense. Hey, Rose, how do you feel about... all of this?
"Well, it's a little too late to be having second thoughts, if that's what you mean. Hee! I'm happy. I can't wait to see Equestria. I am looking forward to green trees, and clean skies and flowers everywhere. I am so going to be nibbling everything!"
I heard we arrive in the desert. That's the other side of the Barrier there. On our side, it's ocean, but on their side it's desert. At least that's what Breezy told me. We kind of talked about it, after my last flight class.
"I'm sure the desert will be pretty too... I'm not worried. And in any case, the desert is just one land within a much larger realm. It has to be, because all I've ever seen of Equestria has been green fields and lakes and trees."
It was kind of news to me that there even was desert there. I guess Equestria is a very diverse place. Who knows what lands exist there?
"I've heard that deserts can have flowers and plants in them. They used to on Earth. I think I'm kind of excited to see this desert!"
Everything will be new to us, won't it Rose? I guess for the first few days... or weeks... we'll probably just be stumbling around with our muzzles slack and our ears whipping this way and that like a bunch of silly foals, won't we?
"Well, we are foals, really. They didn't name us 'Newfoals' for nothing. In one sense, we really are just two weeks old. Hey! Now that's an idea!"
What, Rose?
"I'm going to make the day of my conversion my birthday, from now on. It really is, at least to me. It's my birthday as a pony, and I'm a pony now for the rest of my life. Hee! That's my new, true birthday!"
Heh... I like that. I think I'm gonna do the same thing. That means my birthday is... four days after yours? You were converted the day before I arrived. Yeah, four days. Well. I guess I have a new name, though I chose that before I even entered the Bureau, and I have a new face - not to mention every other part of me - and I have a new birthday too. It really is a new life, then. Oh, my goodness... just look at it, Rose!
"The Barrier. Oh my, it's bigger than ever now."
We're closer. I can't imagine what it must be like to be at the base of that, just before we cross over. It's hard to see it as a dome now. It's just... there. I don't have words. It's just there, taking up half the sky and... we still have like two hours of travel to go. Most of that is hanging out in space, above the atmosphere.
"That is only half of it too, Sunshine and Rose. Remember, the Barrier is a sphere. The other half is below the sea, deep inside the earth. It must be below both the crust and the mantle. It will keep expanding until everything is it, and there is no earth left at all. I wonder how the stuff of the inside of the Earth is being changed to become more Equestria? The sheer scale of it all just beggars my very imagination!"
I... I can't look at it. I feel dizzy. Wow. Sorry. Maybe it's also being on a ship, too, though we aren't really rocking or anything. It's really a pretty smooth ride. It's just... really huge things have always kind of made me feel weird. When I was a foal, I got dizzy looking up at tall buildings. I felt like they would fall over on me. They seemed to sort of lean out over me somehow. I kind of feel like that now. The Barrier... how big is it? Snowflower?
"The last I heard suggested that it had passed fifteen hundred miles in diameter. The part we can see is roughly half of that, so the top of the dome we see would be about seven hundred and fifty miles high, I reason. The edge of space, which is called the Kármán line, is generally considered to be at sixty-two miles above the surface of the Earth. So, more than six-sevenths of what we see here is actually hanging out in space. A rather astonishing concept, don't you think?"
I like how you know so many things, Snowflower. That's awesome. Wait, that means that the shine up there, that bright curve, there.... that is sunlight hitting the Barrier in vacuum, out in space. I am seeing something that begins on the ground, the top of which is way out in space. Muffin. Just Muffin.
Um, I have another question. Look, inside the Barrier. It looks like... it looks like night. Why does it look like night in there?
"Because it is night in Equestria right now. Night and day don't follow the same cycle that we experience on Earth, Sunshine. They have slightly longer days, remember, about twenty five, almost twenty six hours. It varies, because day and night are determined by the princesses. But the average is longer than an Earthly day, so it is very rare to ever see Equestria with the same time of day as that of the Earth outside.
I've heard that when it is day in Equestria, and night out here, it is the most amazing sight. Just incredible. I kind of feel sad we will never see that. Still, what we see is what we see, and our morning vision of the Barrier is pretty amazing, so it's not like we are being cheated."
Hee. Hee hee! No... no, it is not like we are being cheated in the least. Goodness, Snowflower, Rose, everypony - think about it! We get to be alive in the one age in which two universes collide, the very last age of the planet Earth, an age where a pretentious, hairless ape can walk in one door, and out the other as a gentle pony, a citizen of Equestria! I don't feel cheated in the least. Maybe I'll never see the Barrier glow day in the middle of Earth's night, but Pony, I am seeing it now, right now, in the morning light, with stars and moon inside it, and the top of it shining off out in outer space and... no. I do not feel cheated one bit.
"Me either, Sunshine. Um..."
What is it, Rose?
"I heard that they have snacks inside, plus the smell of the ocean is kind of getting to me. Could we go inside for a while? I've never been on a ship before, and I'd kind of like to explore a little."
Oh... of course! Want to tag along, Snowflower? It looks like the rest of the club has gone inside as well.
"Actually, I think I'll stay here. I cannot get enough of this. Please, go on. I'll probably come in for a bite later."
OK, Snow. Oh, and thanks for all the cool sciencey stuff. That was pretty awesome. Come on, Rose, we gots us a fancy ship to explore! Oh, and snacks. What do you think they'll have....
CLICK
She was nameless and free, with a wide, crazed grin on her face. She had stopped skipping down the alleyway, because she was by no means stupid or foolish, but she had not stopped feeling joyful. She felt like she was running to meet her lover... no, her happily-ever-after, wide eyed and filled with wonder, even the rubble that complicated her path was surely in exactly the right place.
She was in the Marina District, now, near a street called Fillmore. It was less than a mile to her goal, the San Francisco Conversion Bureau. The Bureau was the first to have been built, the location chosen because it was the closest spot on land to the expanding sphere of the Equestrian Barrier - other than Hawaii, which had been evacuated to save its population from deadly thaumatic radiation. San Francisco had the remains of a port, making transportation to Equestria simple. Ferries regularly traveled carrying newfoals to their new lives beyond the great Barrier.
The Bureau had been built inside the mostly intact AppleSoft campus, the merger of two old rivals resulting in a massively large complex built upon the ruins of what had once been called the Palace Of Fine Arts. The Bureau Building was a gigantic structure composed of many empty floors supported by massive beams, and within that hollow place the worldgovernment had established a hundred prefabricated clinics. Each clinic was identical, constructed of modular units wheeled in on trailers; a central room, a cafeteria, hallway sections, a restroom module with showers, small dormitory rooms, an entrance chamber with a security door, and of course the most important room of all.
Heavy, shielded, with a bomb-proof metal door, the Ponification Room was a cubic fortress that could withstand terrible force. It was a safe-room, though the intent was not to protect people or ponies, but rather the precious serum, ensconced within a blast-proof case. Ponification serum was still in short supply, though the worldgovernment promised that soon, soon, it would be as ubiquitous as water. Unfortunately, clean water was a major issue for the peoples of the world.
Each of the one-hundred modular clinics established on the layered floors of the cavernous complex had a staff; a primary physician, a physician-assistant, a foodservice professional and assistant, and a janitor / handyman. Some of the clinics had additional staff and hangers-on, but for most, this was the basic plan. Administration for all the clinics was upstairs, near the roof, and reported directly to the Central Bureau Authority. The modular clinics made the interior of the vast AppleSoft campus look like an indoor trailer park. But this was the gateway to Equestria for the grinning girl.
Her short, ragged, curly black hair rippled in the breeze as she slunk and snuck and occasionally danced along the remains of Cervantes Boulevard. If she could make it to Marina, she should have a straight path to the Bureau, it would certainly be visible, towering over the landscape like some dark fortress of plasteel and crystalex.
The girl had buried her name along with a small dog, and with it she had buried her humanity. In her mind, she was already Equestrian, already a pony, all that remained was a small physical adjustment to complete her internal transformation. She felt giddy, drunken with joy for the first time in her life. "Ooh! A dandelion!" she crooned, getting down on all fours, hands on the broken sidewalk, her exposed right knee with the fat tumor on it squishing on the concrete. "Yum!" The girl-shaped pony jut her face forward and encompassed the yellow flower with her mouth. She bit the blossom neatly off, near its base, the tiny petals tickling her soft palate.
"Mmmm!" she smiled, chewing the tender flower. "Tasty vittles!" she smiled like a Cheshire Cat while another small bit of her human life vanished inside her. She felt lighter, now, and cleaner, despite her dirty, ragged jumpsuit, and filthy, ruined silk blouse. Inside that dandelion blossom was sunshine and laughter, a taste of a better life to come. It was sweet within her mouth.
Up and trotting again, the nameless pony that looked like a girl moved from building to building. Her extra pair of eyes, domes protruding through her skull, informed her that the way ahead was clear. The Bureau Building was immense. It towered over everything left of San Francisco, twelve stories tall and surrounded by ruins and abandoned cars and buses. Nearly there.
It was a long walk to round the great, dark building. She was exposed now, out in the open, but she felt little fear. The Bureau would be well guarded by Blackmesh, even with the funding cuts, and in any case, she was only a few hundred feet from the main entrance. The brown, dead remains of what had once been topiary still sat in dead garden plots surrounding the entrance, at one time the complex might have been striking, rather than imposing.
Great, dark, translucent Cryslex doors faced her now, on either side a Blackmesh guard holding a formidable looking weapon. The pony-girl bowed grandly to them and begged entrance to be converted.
"Greetings, oh grand knights of the Blackmesh! I come to you with a heart light, and pants filthy, for the dream of a life in fair Equestria! What say you to this, noble knights?"
The two Blackmesh guards stared at the bizarre girl and looked at each other. "It takes all kinds, I guess. Let 'er through."
The glassine doors slid apart, granting entrance. "Pick a clinic, miss, and sign in at the front desk. There's nothing to it." The soldier helpfully suggested.
"Thank you gracious knight of the realm, may all your foals be frisky, and your tail stream behind you when you run."
"Strange girl." Noted the elder of the Blackmesh. "Cute, though." Decided the younger.
One hundred clinics. Which one to choose? Hmm. She walked up the broken escalator in the vast lobby, the lowest level of modular clinics somehow escaping her notice. On the second level, standing on the long balcony, she read the signs outside the individual structures. Above her, more levels rose, each with more and more modular clinics on them.
"Clinic Forty-One, Clinic Forty-Two... hey... Forty-Two! The Ultimate Answer!" She giggled, remembering an old, Pre-Collapse book, one she had particularly loved. That was the clinic, then. Her clinic.
As she approached the security door, a terrified young man burst out, the door slamming to the side as he ran past her. She nearly fell, in his brusk departure he had bruised her upper arm. Through the open door, she could hear a loudspeaker. The voice of a man with a Finnish accent swore briefly, before the sound of a microphone hitting the floor ended what must have been some kind of announcement. The place seemed quite the mess.
It was absolutely perfect.
The girl grinned wider than she ever had before. This was going to be SO MUCH FUN!
CLICK
Rose? I feel afraid.
"Why, Sunshine? We're nearly there. Just go up the ramp and leap across. It's easy. The others are already on the other side. Look, Newmoon is waving a hoof at us. Ooh... there's a whole city of tents over there."
According to the captain, that's 'Welcome Town'. They sort the newfoals as they arrive there. It sounds friendly enough.
"Come on, Sunshine, let's go, alright? Right there, over that ramp, beyond this floating dock... that's Equestria, Sunshine. Equestria! I don't understand..."
I've... it's the holocorder. I...
"Sunshine, Snowflower already told us that nothing bad will happen. At the very worst, it will change into pudding or something, and I'll gladly lick it off your coat, so... what's got you so... bothered?"
I'm... I've been doing this little show of mine... of ours... since before I met you. I'll tell you something - I was... I was a little scared to go to the Bureau. I knew the world was ending. I knew I was helping my parents, I knew it was the only thing to do... but... I was frightened, Rose. I mean, changing your entire species! It's... it doesn't seem so strange now, but back then, I was really a lot more frightened than I let on. Talking to the holocorder, doing this stupid show... it made me feel stronger than I am. It made me feel brave, sort of. I had this thing to do, and as long as I was doing it... I kind of felt protected or invulnerable or... something. I felt... I don't know.
"Having a purpose took you out of yourself. You had something to fuss over other than what it meant to become a pony. I think I understand, Sunshine. And once you pass through that barrier, it's almost certain that the show will end because the 'corder will melt, or change or whatever. You're not sure who you are without your show, is that it?"
Y-Yeah. Yeah... you're scary amazing sometimes. Yeah, that's kind of it. No, that is it. What am I going to do? How do I get through this without... without...
"Without an audience? Without the blessing of an authority figure like the Ministry Of Propaganda and Infotainment? Oh, Sunshine... you DO have an audience! You'll always have an audience, if I have anything to say about it. ME! I'm your forever audience, Sunshine! I love what you have to say, how you look at things, and what you feel. I want to hear your real show, just the way you see the world, for always!"
Rose... oh, Rose...
"And you have an even better authority figure, if you need one, and she's already given you her blessing. Celestia! And Luna! Forget the Ministry, you have the blessings of two goddesses, Sunshine! Two goddesses that control the moon and the sun. That beats a silly Ministry any day. Or night."
Hee! Yeah, yeah, you're right, you're right.
"So, how about it? All our friends are over there, the whole Pony Breakfast Club. They're all waiting. And there's lots of friendly ponies, and the whole of Equestria too. Tasty num-nums... there's going to be a lot of tasty num-nums over there too. Flowers and fruits and grasses we haven't even imagined. And games and fun and picnics and friends we have yet to meet. It's just a little ways. You just put one hoof in front of the other, and before you know it, we'll be there."
Yeah. OK. Listen, everypony!
My name is Sunshine Laughter. I'm a pegasus pony, and this here is Rose Vale. She's an earthpony and she's my mare, and I'm hers. Behind me, that big flat wall of shimmering stuff, that's the Equestrian Barrier, up close. And this is our final episode of 'Going Pony'. Because we did. We went pony, and now... now we're going home.
Going to the Bureau, being converted... it taught me a lot of things. I gained so much from it. I did this originally to help my parents, so that we'd have special treatment in Equestria. But... I am glad I did this even without that. I met some great friends in that Bureau, and... I met the love of my life, too.
"Oh, Sunshine!"
I guess what I want you, out there, whoever, wherever you are, to know... what I want to tell you is... that going pony is worth it. It is absolutely worth it. It is wonderful, and strange, and beautiful, and sometimes even a little scary too. And I know that me saying that to you was the whole point of the Ministry giving me this muffin thing, letting me do this show, but... I don't care. Maybe it is their little propaganda piece to get you to report to the nearest Bureau and emigrate to Equestria before the world dies. I don't care.
I DO care about the fact that I'm happy, really happy, for the first time in my life. Only now, do I realize just how empty my human life was. Yeah, I don't have thumbs, I won't ever play another video game, I'll be using candles instead of light switches and there aren't any fancy cars in Equestria. But I have wings, I can FLY. I can stand on clouds and bring rain where its needed. I don't need to run around in a video game, I can gallop across green fields in the open air faster than any human could ever run, jump off a cliff and soar like a pegasus. I have a lover that can grow strawberries just by singing to them, and a unicorn friend that can levitate things with her mind. Behind me is a world of magic and wonder and fun and food and love.
There aren't enough thumbs to give, to pay for something like that. There isn't a single thing Earth can offer that even comes close to being a shadow of what Equestria offers.
Forget the fact that I'm on your threevee because of the worldgovernment. I'm Sunshine Laughter, the pegasus, and I'm telling you that whatever they say, this... this... it's worth it. It's more than worth it. Every moment you aren't a pony is a moment you'll regret. That's what I'm saying. I guess... I guess that's all.
Come on, Rose. It's time to go home.
"Careful on the edge of the ramp. Nice big jump. Oh! You could just fly. I forgot! Hee! I'd better just concentrate on my own crossing. I wonder what passing through the Barrier will feel like?"
Goodbye, everypony. I hope you'll join us, before it's too late. OK, here we go. Time to see if this holocorder survives the trip. One, two, th
This holoprogram first appeared on Infostream Three, Midclass Kiosk Edition, as part of the Worldgovernment Propaganda and Infotainment Ministry 'World In Crisis' program under the subsection 'Conversion And You'. It is redistributed here in transcribed text format for Permatech, Cranial Feed, Thinscreen and Favela Kiosk consumption with full permission of the Central WorldGov Authority.
If you have further questions or concerns, contact the Worldgovernment Propaganda and Infotainment Ministry. If you wish to emigrate to Equestria, report immediately to your nearest Conversion Bureau. Conversion is free, easy, painless, and transportation and settlement within Equestria is provided free of charge to every human being as a courtesy of the Worldgovernment and the Government of Equestria. Begin a new life today, at your local Conversion Bureau.
THE END
Direct Link to Venice's first appearance, and continuing adventures:
27 Ounces: A story of eight and one half ponies
The Lost In The Herd Series:
One: The Big Respawn,
Two: Euphrosyne Unchained,
Three: Letters From Home,
Four: Teacup, Down On The Farm
The Conversion Bureau Novels:
27 Ounces: A story of eight and one half ponies
The Taste Of Grass
The Conversion Bureau: Code Majeste
The Conversion Bureau: The 800 Year Promise
The Conversion Bureau: Going Pony
The Reasonably Adamant Down With Celestia Newfoal Society!
Recombinant 63: A Conversion Bureau Story
HUMAN in Equestria: A Conversion Bureau Story
The PER: Michelson and Morely
Little Blue Cat
Cross The Amazon
Adrift Off Fiddler's Green: The Final Conversion Bureau Story
The Short Stories:
Her Last Possession
The Conversion Bureau: PER Equitum
The Conversion Bureau: Brand New Universe
Tales Of Los Pegasus
The Poly Little Pony
The very first and original
Conversion Bureau Group
archives only the best Three Rules Compatible stories!
Optimalverse Works:
Friendship Is Optimal: Caelum Est Conterrens
Leftovers: A Friendship Is Optimal Story
IMPLACABLE
My Life In Fimbria
Injectorverse Works:
I.D. - That Indestructible Something
The More Conventional Fanfics:
The Ice Cream Pony Summer
Around The Bend
PRIDE related works:
Transspecieality
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Rare, personally chosen anime, SF and fantasy television, movies, and comedy music. A truly unusual collection to listen to, featuring Spot Announcer Dr. Sandi!
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amazing story chat :D
Such fantastic closure. This frustrating concept of language can't define how your writing makes me feel. No reason to say that I can't wait for whatever you've got next; I've followed your tales ever since The Big Respawn, and every last chapter has been better and better. I hope you can keep writing about what we all love and enjoy, because it's stories like yours that have made me literally abandon paper-printed works. Thank you for sharing your amazingly profound talent for writing with us.
*Happy sigh* That was wonderful. To watch the transformation of Venice through trail and revelation, it’s a strangely humanising experience. And thus her story is presented complete, from origins to burial upon her favourite hill, beautiful in its complexity and moving in its many messages.
Thank you so much for another stunning addition to our book shelves, Chatty.
As an afterthought; was it always the plan to make this story Caprice’s backstory, or did that simply slot into place later, after returning to this origional account?
Beautiful Story Chat. Really loved this one. Looking forward to your next one!
502149 "As an afterthought; was it always the plan to make this story Caprice’s backstory, or did that simply slot into place later, after returning to this origional account?"
Honestly, I did not plan it. I did not know, when I started Going Pony who the watcher in the story was at all. I cannot even tell you with a straight face that I even knew that there would even be a watcher of the program, watching at all. Of course, being queerer than queer, I cannot do anything at all with a... straight... face. But I digress.
Every blessed thing I write is written on a blank cheque of intuition and impulse. I write without thought, without plan, without outline, without direction. As a writer, I am sure I do everything wrong that can be done - what little I may have once learned in school has been discarded like so much offal by the wayside, as I ride on, heedless, toward what always looks like an inevitable cliff. Or perhaps a windmill. Pick your simile.
I never know where a story will take me, or who will be in it, or what it will even be about when I start one. I am surely the worst of writers, in terms of following the rules, such as I have heard them to be. While I write, the story plays out in my mind, like a simulation, like a dream, like a life I will never live, and my fingers move, and when I awake, there is text on the screen and I have just enough sense to be glad of it.
But deep in my heart, while all this transpires, I fear and feel as if I am on the back of a runaway horse, always fretful that the cliff is there and that someday, someday, this insane way of writing will fail me and the threads of story will not magically, impossibly weave themselves together for me to make a sensible ending where the things of the beginning have relevance to the things of the conclusion. So far, I guess I have been lucky.
Since I effectively write - and cartoon, with regard to my graphic novels - automatically, I cannot know if what I am doing will be good, make sense, or what will happen next. That Caprice, Venice, appeared in Going Pony was as much a shock to me as it may have been to anyone else, but in retrospect, I am glad that this story chose to embrace her. It has nagged me, for some time, just what could have possibly changed her, what managed to get through such a terrible, spoiled, truly awful person as Venice Bertarelli, and convert her soul - since her mind and body were converted with nanotech and magic - to the peach pony we know.
Now I know. I didn't, before this story. She was changed by a holoprogram, a little girl in a mall, a little boy and his dog, but mostly by a holoprogram. She saw a story, and it changed her life. I can buy that. That works for me. Things like that have happened to me, though on a less grand scale, of course.
Eldenath wants me to write one more Caprice story - she wants me to write about Caprice and Dr. Pastern-the-pony living together as old, old nags, in that house, in that town. She wants me to write about their friendship, late in life, and whether or not Caprice ever had any idea that she mattered, in the end. I don't know if I will write that. I kind of think, at this point, I've over-written about Caprice. By now, surely, most should be tired of her.
My next story will probably be a comedy about the PER. If I can manage to do comedy. I'm not sure I can. Not like clever ponies like Midnight and Krass. I guess we'll see.
Gosh... I just hope this story was liked. I took a lot of risks with this one, what with the radio-play aspect and all. I never intended this to go beyond three, five chapters at the most. Then it decided it wanted to be a novel. What can I do? They have a mind of their own.
502199
You deserve whatever Pun-ishment Eldenath doles out for that ‘straight faced’ reference.
As for your methods of artistic creation, I think you're forgetting there the reason the supposed 'rules' exists at all. It’s to allow an author to create a living believable world, something you do automatically without silly rules and guidelines! It’s like your special talent; characters are given life and freedom of choice within your own mind. You’re like the Celestia of your imagination! That’s so amazing its crazy
Doc Pastern as a nag? That just spells ‘Last of the Summer Wine’. Just because most of her life has been serious, doesn’t mean her twilight years will be as well, though I supose that's entirely up to them.
And a comedic look at the PER? It must be done!
There’s a lot of potential in both plans there and I think I speak for just about everyone when I say; ‘we await the future with bated breath and squeals of excitement’.
502199
I am fairly sure that there are but two types of story you couldn't do:
A clopfic (you said so yourself anyway), and a trainwreck (you know, a story so VERY bad it becomes impossible to stop reading. Like Chunin Exam Day on Fanfiction.net). Other than that, I am sure that whatever you write will be pure pony literary gold, and I almost can't wait to see the shenanigans the PER will get themselves in.
Also, don't worry. I loved the radio-show-like format, it was quite interesting to get a first person (or first pony?) view of their lives, without the usual "see what they are thinking" trope to go with it. I also enjoyed the bits at the beginning more than I probably should, reading them in my best GLaDOS imitation was almost impossible to do with a straight face.
You are a great writer, and anyone who says otherwise didn't ever truly read your works. Never forget that.
Just one thing that bothers me a little: Why is there still an ocean? shouldn't the water flow straight into Equestria under the same rules that allow it to devour the planet?
I didn't even -MAKE- the connection to that Venice. Oh gods. I am...
You blew my mind. Wow. Thank you.
Bravo, and thank you for a beautiful, absolutely beautiful ride.
502343 "Just one thing that bothers me a little: Why is there still an ocean? shouldn't the water flow straight into Equestria under the same rules that allow it to devour the planet?"
The sphere is the intersection between Equestria and Earth, and as such the edge of one side meets the edge of the other... how to put this better...
Imagine a flat portal, like in... Portal, the game. A two-dimensional circle where Equestria is on one side, and Earth on the other, flat against each other. Imagine this circle being 100 feet in diameter, and stuck halfway in the desert of Equestria. The Earth side of the same hole is stuck halfway into the ocean.
If you look at it from the Earth side, then you see a perfectly flat cliff of desert, that goes down under the water, into the sea. If you look at things from the Equestria side, you see ocean stretching out beyond the cliff edge of the dry desert rock and ground.
Now take that notion, and imagine the Portal circle as stretching all around to meet itself, to form a ring. If you were to walk all around the ring on the Equestria side, you would see a cliff and ocean all the way around. From the Earth side, in a boat, Equestria would look like a cliff-edged circular island sitting in the sea only... when you looked into that desert, it would seem to stretch on far further than where you expected the other side to be as you went round and round the ring of... Portal.
Now, take the next step and imagine stretching that ring up and down until it formed a sphere, a ball. It would look like a big X-mas ornament, like a mirror ball, only the reflection would not be a reflection, it would be the other world. From the side, same as the ring. From above, in a balloon, you would look down on a circle of desert from above, or a circle of sea from above, depending on which world you were in.
From below, on earth, in a submarine, you would look up to see a big ball of rock. The stuff the desert is made of. In Equestria, in a tunnel dug by a Diamond Dog, you would see the blue ocean. It would be like looking down a well with no bottom.
As the sphere on Earth expands, whatever it sweeps over becomes more Equestria, but it doesn't necessarily become the same thing. Ocean doesn't have to become ocean, or parking lot become... parking lot. It is transformed, dramatically, fundamentally. And the conversion is exponential. A little Earth becomes a LOT of Equestria.
The ocean doesn't pour into Equestria because it is stopped by the material that makes up the ground of Equestria itself. There is nowhere for the seawater to pour into. It meets a solid cliff of rock, in effect. As the Barrier expands, the ocean may not even be water anymore - it may become a ten-thousand miles of new rolling hills and lakes. That is the origin of the Exponential Lands.
Now on the Equestrian side, that sphere in the desert never grows any larger. It stays just the same. About 300 feet in diameter. But every point on it corresponds with a point on the larger sphere on Earth. So, as time goes on, the image of Earth seen through the sphere in the desert looks more and more distorted. People look smaller, everything looks smaller because there is more surface area on Earth to the sphere, and the same on Equestria.
The sphere is the same sphere, a distortion in space itself. It is a four-dimensional hole. The 'shadow' of that hole looks like a sphere to us, but it is actually a hypersphere.
So, to recap: the ocean doesn't flood because the other side of the hole, where the ocean is, is the rock floor of the desert. That is what the ocean meets, and so to the ocean, it is like dealing with a big, round ball of rock. That keeps getting bigger and bigger, turning everything it meets into more of Equestria.
A very touching ending Chatoyance, loved every minute of this ride. Can't wait to see what comes next
AWWW YEAH ITS PER TIME!!! HELLZ YEAH BABY!!!
I think I mentioned this before, but you have a knack for creation. Well done once again Chayo~
A beautiful end and a beautiful beginning. More than one beginning, really. I rather hope you do more with the Pony Breakfast Club as they acclimate to Canterlot and decide whether or not to give the snobbery a miss in favor of the great unknown. In any case, thank you for writing this, and for supplementing it with the illustrations. (Wow, that tumor's even worse than I imagined it...)
You are a good writer.
502199
Common misconception. You dont need to be Clever to be funny, in fact its best if you are retarded and odd.
As far as PER goes, PLEASE DO IT. If for some reason you still wanna ask me something, I can do PMs.
My question is now which story should someone read first, 27 Ounces, or Going Pony. My gut says 27 Ounces for all of the reasons involved in writing a prequel as opposed to rolling the beginning of the story back.
Just curious for your thoughts Chat
I really like how the intention of heartful, funny, and sincere came through from page one to page... page, uh... the last page. The other novels had a good deal of pain and EPIC to them, so this was like coming up for air in bright sunlight after scuba diving through dark and scary underwater caves.
I'm happy to see that you've got plans for other works. I think you'd be good at comedy, so I'm looking forward to the PER bit. PER and comedy are like salty and sweet in my mind: a surprisingly effective combination.
"Or perhaps a windmill." I pick that one. Thank you Don Q. Chatoyance, for another completed and well written story. I once again enjoyed the ride. However, I still was wondering about that apology. Ah, well. She has over 100 years of undocumented life expectancy. She may yet run into him later on. Here's to hoping for the best!
PER story next? Plus, it's a comedy! Hurray for optimism and unwanted noble quests!
502381 "But every point on it corresponds with a point on the larger sphere on Earth. So, as time goes on, the image of Earth seen through the sphere in the desert looks more and more distorted. People look smaller, everything looks smaller because there is more surface area on Earth to the sphere, and the same on Equestria."
Yeah. I think that was noted in one of your stories. The beginning of Taste of Grass, perhaps? Oh, yep. That was it. Pumpkin became confused once she passed into Equestria because Earth looked really small.
It seems odd, though, that for how few characters seem to understand this Rucker Sphere, there aren't more that are surprised that everything in Equestria looks really big from the Earth side. Especially when, say, some of their party passed through before them.
503363 "It seems odd, though, that for how few characters seem to understand this Rucker Sphere, there aren't more that are surprised that everything in Equestria looks really big from the Earth side. Especially when, say, some of their party passed through before them."
That's called bad writing, Sotha. I think it's because I am Retarded and Odd.
502860 HEY! I JUST PASSED KRASS'S COMEDY REQUIREMENTS! YAAAAAY!
503649 "HEY! I JUST PASSED KRASS'S COMEDY REQUIREMENTS! YAAAAAY!"
You had me chuckling there. Hey. Perhaps we can all be retarded and odd together.
Of course, I try to think that I can be a pretty silly pony.
This was... exquisite. Simply magnificent. This is one of those stories that had me crying, as you know, and this chapter did the same, as was to be expected. Caprice sashaying her way into the story was wonderful, unexpected, yet so... Caprice. It makes sense.
Also, as a bit of irony, I've just been re-reading 27 Ounces the past couple days at work on breaks and lunch. It definitely gives another perspective, reading these tales in tandem.
You are a wonderful, amazing, fantastic pony, Chatoyance, and whatever you decide to do next, I'll be right there, reading eagerly for your next work.
503649
Pffffft, you say that like Im the king of comedy when it comes to TCB. Or like I even know what Im doing. Or like I have ability. Or talent.
Now if you excuse me, I have to get back to planning how the Ice Kings meeting with Celestia goes.
*Slow Clap* Really great. I like how this ended up. I admit at first I had my doubts due to the "Flow" of the story. But after getting myself over that I must say that I am quite pleased with it. (My only complaint is that a couple times I had trouble understanding exactly who was talking.)
"There aren't enough thumbs to give, to pay for something like that."
My sentiments exactly. Wonderful story, Chat. Absolutely wonderful.
Overall, I liked the story. I suppose I was a little disappointed when the story became broader in scope, mostly because after so long of the story having no "true" watcher... well, it kinda felt like Caprice was stealing Sunshine's and Rose's spotlight. Ultimately I feel I would have enjoyed it better if the story had continued as it started, without much mention of who was watching (which actually has its own feeling attached -- strangely enough, by building that "detachment" into the story, it makes us feel like we are more a part of it, in the form of the viewer. Adding Caprice took that away, and from then on the story felt different.). Despite this, finding more out about Caprice was its own little treat, though overall it felt like once she was introduced the story was split to become two /different/ stories, instead of two parts to the same one.
I still enjoyed the story. I don't want to give you the wrong impression that I didn't. I just feel like the last third of the story wasn't quite what was advertised in the first two thirds.Caprice kinda stole the spotlight, though that's what Caprice does, and I'm sure she used all her charms to get you to do what she wanted.
Wow. This was quite a ride, as your stories always are. It amazes me that, when you started this story, you didn't plan for Venice to be the viewer, and yet it all comes together so well.
Of all TCB writers, I admire you most for your grasp of the mentality of your characters, and how you express your views on humanity through them. I especially liked the part of this story where Rose and Sunny talked about the Human Ideal. I had actually (mostly under influence of your other stories) discussed this very same paradox of humanity with one of my friends. I would not be so fascinated with TCB were it not for the depth I found in your stories, and I'm anxious to find time to read through the other TCB stories you have listed as recommendations.
For someone who claims to write sporadically, you sure have a way of making me tear up often. The closing was quite beautiful, and something tells me you were listening to Vale Decem when you wrote it. ;p
I forgot about this story for a long time, and I remember reading the first two chapter of this story today. So I found it and here I am at the end. And I think it was a really good read.
Bravo! Brava Bravissimo! Your story was masterfully done, Chatoyance.'
'
1063966
I am glad you liked the origin of Caprice.
1612064
Caprice is first introduced in 27 Ounces, and then lives her life in The Taste Of Grass.
When I started my "Chatoyance kick" and for a long time afterward, I was determined that I wasn't going to read Code Majeste, because the premise sounded like it would make Celestia the villain, or at least the antagonist- a pony that Our Heroine was going to end up very frightened of indeed, and likely for good reason. And... I didn't want that. I still don't.
I was even more determined not to read it after I finished Recombinant 63 and the comments on The Reasonably Adamant Down With Celestia Newfoal Society, because those showed me a bit of the ending, and... I'm going to be honest, I have a trigger. Pretty much just one. I can't deal with people who should be able to think straight or talk in complete sentences but aren't. I don't dislike such people, or devalue them, not in any rational sense, but... hearing things that sound like failed attempts at words, especially from the mouths of people who look like they have the mental development necessary not to be failing to use words, makes my skin crawl and my body want to get up and run away.
But I'm going to try, now.
Because I've seen you write about unicorns and earth ponies and pegasi, and god damn do I want to see you write about an alicorn.
2458167 You're tragically late to the party. (Insert emoticon of pained wistful smile here.) Quite astute on the name; that's it! Capital. Old mystery solved.
2779001
That is an absolutely sweet thing to say. Thank you, Hammond.
3113089
It's not just advertising... its Carevertising!®
3118250
Yes. Exactly. I adore Adventure Time, obviously.
3210329
I really enjoyed writing Going Pony!
I am so hopelessly confused now. But I'm too tired to try to figure out where in this story I managed to get the timeline all screwed up in my head. I'll figure it out in the morning. Either way, this was a very sweet and touching ending, though having read The Taste of Grass it's twinged with a great deal of fear and concern for what's actually waiting for them on the other side of that barrier. I really hope they don't meet the blue pegasus. They're so happy together. But then, nopony who did deserved to meet with him.
Another beautiful story, and I really love the style this was told in. It was also a nice, unexpected bonus to get to see more of Caprice's backstory. Time for me to get some sleep, good night for now :)
3212498>>3212554
There is another possibility: since the TCB genre was evolving as these stories were written, over the course of a year, I may have messed up. It is entirely possible that I got my own timeline wrong, because I was in the process of creating that timeline as I went.
That may be an issue when reading my works. I try, very, very hard, to create - as best I can - a solid, self-referential, all-encompassing, believable universe in my stories. I try to be very consistent, I try to make everything feel 'real'.
But, this has been a process, over time, and I make mistakes. I do my best, but sometimes I fail, or things come together more clearly after other things have already been written.
I try to make my story universes appear whole-cloth, as if I am writing about a real thing that already exists somewhere, but... the truth always is that it is a process, and I am learning about the story universe as I write it.
That may create headaches, I suppose, between what seems really consistent, and the occasional error on my part.
Heck - after more than a million words now, I can't imagine I haven't screwed up a lot of times!
I guess all I can say then is, if I have messed up... I'm sorry! I try hard, honest!
3214299
It's ok, happens to everypony! That's why I suggested putting together some errata when you find an appropriate time for it, to help bring everything back into alignment again :) I still enjoyed the story tremendously, just the little details threw me off is all. *hug!*
3212408
The good thing is that she wasn't a very effective villain. If I remember correctly that pegasus misplaced 2,000 or so newfoals. That's about a week of conversions at that complex (3 conversions per day times 100 bureaus) meaning either that Caprice and company were unlucky enough to move into Equestria at the exact week that pegasus managed to get in charge of relocations, or that she was misplacing newfoals sparingly over a long time span so as to not rise suspicions. Either way the vast majority of newfoals, both early and later converts, wouldn't have experienced her homicidal bigotry.
PS.: I'm considering the part about the fast conversion lane for favela inhabitants, fine CBs for the elite, potion bombing and directly related conversations as non-canonical. IMHO that's the easiest way to make the story fit within the 27 Ounces / Taste of Grass timeline, and it doesn't affect the remaining of the tale (I think).
3215591
I find it amazing how Chatoyance manages such a level of consistency. I know Stephen King and J. K. Rowling both get assistance from 3rd parties who write canon encyclopedias of their works they look all the time so as to keep things self-consistent.
In a saner world the TCB genre would have a dedicated website much like "Fallout: Equestria" does, a wiki authors and readers could refer and add to filling the role of consistency source, a ranking system so as to mark stories as within or without the canon timeline, and so on and so forth. Also, Chatoyance's works would be the core and glue keeping the whole dystopic scenario together. That this doesn't happen is a shame.
Fantastic story Chatoyance. At first, I was a little skeptical about it due to the style it was presented, but it got better as it went on, especially when you tied it in with Venice's story. It was great fun to read, and now if you'll excuse me I think I have to read 27 Ounces again, then the story after that, again.
3896142
That was fantas... no. No. It was Mathematical! Algebraic!
3896333
Thank you for reading Going Pony, and... well, just thank you!
3896794
.
Could have done better but it was night and I was tired, but I just couldn't move on without it being made
After a few years of lurking around, I suppose I'll break my silence and make my first comment on FimFiction (feeling before that I have little to offer in terms of beneficial comments, along with being quite shy.) It's been a long while since I've read this (and when it still was being typed, waiting for an update each day!), but I find myself smiling still on my second read-through of the first several chapters; plus it was between TCB: Last Man Standing and this that got me hooked on TCB.
Now irrelevant rambling aside, as for the story (which was your first piece I've read here): it certainly touches that wishful part of me (and not just the desire to experience a new form and satisfy that curiosity, although that's quite there
), of the "what if's?" Said "what if's?" need not be exclusive to any single form or realm, as goodness (and a better world) is something all can strive for. Sure, some of us may not be angelic, extraplanar beings, but neither are some of us (at least I like to think so) daemons from the Nine Hells either; granted, there are some terrible forces in power at this time, and many wrongs in this world (and still go on to this very day.) But hey, realizing the problems is among the path to fixing them. And even with the very physics of this realm among other things/beings against us, constantly trying to have us at each others throats, it is not power, wealth, or dominance that matters, but friendship, compassion, kindness, goodness that is worth striving and persisting for, no matter your form, at least what matters to me. Sure, having a nice cherry flavored elixir to down is quite the delicious fantasy, but the desire for making a better world and the desire to try be a better person, that feels tangible. Err, went off on quite a tangent there that had little to do with the story, but I've been wanting to get these thoughts that have been lingering in my mind for a long while out, and well, stories like this, make you think and question what's going on around us in our little realm.
And sure, maybe things here aren't strictly to show canon (plus this was written early season among others), but I accept it and enjoy it as an alternate universe, like many other fanfictions too.
Oh, and those food scenes, you know how to make one hungry
. And those scenes of tenderness too bring a smile to me 
. Anyways, that's the end of this lengthy, redundant, and rambling comment from a madman in a maddened realm at 5AM. Maybe I'll comment more in the future *shrugs*.
4014964
Thank you, Shinskii for re-reading my novel, and for commenting as well. If it helps, the subtext of all of my work is not just the fantasy of turning instantly into a pony, but the hope that in some manner any and every person can become more 'pony' by choosing to be so.
Always be yourself,
unless you can be a
unicorn, in which case,
be a unicorn.
I believe this. What we idolize, where we put our heart, inevitably also will go our actions, and our lives. Perhaps we cannot physically have fresh new bodies, but mayhaps it is not impossible to choose compassionate new outlooks.