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More Stories23

  • T Friendship Is Optimal: Caelum Est Conterrens

    Set in the Optimalverse, a middle-aged woman confronts what emigration to Equestria - uploading to a virtual existence - really means. But can she truly understand - and more importantly, should she trust the artificial intelligence Celestia?
    56,871 words · 15,284 views  ·  503  ·  126
  • T The Taste Of Grass

    Within The Conversion Bureau Universe, Newfoal immigrants face settling new lands within Equestria. Unfortunately, not one of them knows how their new universe actually works.
    114,602 words · 5,641 views  ·  355  ·  104
  • T 27 Ounces

    27 Ounces is the story of eight and one half ponies, set within the Conversion Bureau universe.
    78,013 words · 6,677 views  ·  371  ·  122 · gore
  • T The Conversion Bureau: Code Majeste

    Earth pony, pegasus pony, unicorn; a newfoal will become one. But there is provision for one other.
    56,897 words · 8,833 views  ·  365  ·  130
  • T I.D. - That Indestructible Something

    Gregoria Samson awakens transformed into an Equestrian pony - yet no other human being can percieve her new body in any way. What is the incredible, monumental truth behind her impossible change?
    97,700 words · 3,741 views  ·  350  ·  130
  • T The Conversion Bureau: Teacup, Down On The Farm

    Years after the last human is gone, a Newfoal must face that the past never truly vanshes.
    40,225 words · 4,480 views  ·  229  ·  97
  • E The Ice Cream Pony Summer

    This series of stories explores the many feelings of summer for the denizens of Equestria.
    8,144 words · 1,289 views  ·  121  ·  47
  • T The Conversion Bureau: Letters From Home

    A Newfoal Earth-Pony Stallion writes from Equestria about how Equestrians live and work.
    13,139 words · 3,893 views  ·  174  ·  76

Blog Posts71

  • 12w, 4d
    In Hell, There Are No Desks

    I'm typing this from my lap, on a new keyboard I am unused to. Had to get a new one, we couldn't connect my old keyboard - they don't make those ancient connectors anymore, and the cable needed is still in a box. Everything I own is in a box, and will be for the next three to four months at least.

    Hah! How the mighty have fallen, eh? Once I lived in a palatial home, now I have no room of my own. My world, for now, is the far corner of what - in a normal person's house - would likely be the 'living room'. The house is filled with hundreds of boxes, and no way to unpack them. Why? It's a little bit Sokoban, and a little bit 'guess what's in the box' and a little bit 'we are so fucked'.

    Intel got caught with their fingers in the European cookie jar, as you may recall, and they had to pay billions in fines. Worse, they got very complacent and ignored the rise of mobile computing entirely, so the pacific rim ate their lunch with cheap, easily modified, dedicated chips for consumer goods. Desperate to look good to stockholders, they did the usual American Capitalist Trick: fire most of the workers who actually do the work in a way that denies them any benefits or severance of any kind. Suddenly, without employees, they look great on paper!

    The way they did this is to announce that if one wanted to work for Intel any longer, one must move to the region around Portland, Oregon. Naturally, this meant that more that 75% of their employees in the divisions targeted would be screwed, and 'choose' to leave their jobs of their 'own volition', thus making their quitting their 'free choice' and thus ineligible for any benefits of any kind - the slackers! The losers! Stupid peasants with homes and communities and family obligations and relatives and lack of resources to move at the drop of a hat!

    It was evil, but damn clever. Force people to have to quit because moving is not possible for most people. Brilliant. Dirty as hell, of course, but cunning.

    That still left tens of thousands of people flooding into a fairly small region, Hillsboro. It was sheer luck we found an overpriced house at all - there is a huge bubble going on as folks gouge the hell out of the influx of Intel folks. House-flip-a-go-go! Gold rush!

    Bottom line? It is impossible to get a contractor to fix a house or turn a garage into a room. And that is a problem, you see, since the entire plan was to convert the garage into my room. For me to live in. That isn't happening. It's so massive an issue, that the guy that set up our internet? He is part of a small army of folks brought in from Colorado just to hook up internet here in Hillsboro. They're letting him go back to Colorado for a week to see his family, then it's another month of hooking up folks like us... the Intel Invasion. They don't have enough native cable guys here to do the job. Consider that.

    My family is hoping that maybe by October or November, it might be rainy and miserable enough that the contractors here might be unable to work outside - or unwilling to work outside - and it might be possible to get some to do interior work at last, and thus finally build me a room to live in. It's a hope, anyway.

    Until then, I am the empress of cardboard boxes that I can't get into... because there is no place to unpack them. I have six pieces of clothing, my shoes, my computer and monitor, my 360 and PS4, a chair, my toothbrush and the medicines I have to take, one garbage can, and my purse with my ipad in it. This is my world. This is my life. I am slowly going through some of the mis-labled boxes, checking them, resealing them, and writing their contents down (the packing crew did a random job, just insane) to find, well, things. More clothes to wear. Even one game for my PS4 to play. But, it's rough going - the house is chock-a-block with boxes. We were entirely depending on having my room done, so that my stuff could get unpacked, so there would be room to unpack other things. That isn't happening. We also expected that the boxes would be correctly labeled too. Nope.

    If I had thought, even for a moment, that everything would be lies and bullshit, and that it would all turn out to be a clusterfuck... I would have done some things differently.

    So, here is my big lesson to you, in case you have to move:

    Expect that nobody is telling the truth about anything, that everything will be fucked no matter what, and that nothing and no man can be trusted. Prepare accordingly: take enough stuff you need to live normally in the car with you, and don't let said stuff get packed up on the moving truck. Even if you have to make six or ten five hour trips back and forth to do it, do it. Keep what you need close to you. Because it will all go horribly wrong. When it does, you will have all of your necessities with you in your fortress of cardboard boxes, and you will be alright until things eventually become rational again.

    I didn't do the above, so now, for the next many months, I must peer at a monitor stacked on six shelf boards balanced on two incomplete drawer shells and type from my lap.

    Because, in hell, there are no desks.

    Anyway, we are in a new house, there is a lot wrong with it, but it will get fixed in time, and maybe in enough months, I will have a room again. And a surface to type on. (In the mean time, I am experimenting with using boards across my chair arms, tilted boards balanced on the edge of my monitor base, and pillows with boards on them as ways to get that 'desk feeling' back. Something will work, eventually. Surely.)

    When I get used to my new keyboard (this one is USB! Huzzah! I am finally in the new decade!) I will continue with my writing.

    So, for the too-long, didn't read crowd: I am down and (relatively) safe, the move is sort of over, and I am the empress of cardboard boxes, all hail me in my palace of cardboard!

    Lastly, thank you to everyone who has been so supportive and kind to me during this fairly awful situation. You are wonderful, and I am grateful for you.

    All hail Cardboardia!

    May your boxes never crush

    A land not unlike Minecraft

    Someday the toilets will flush

    All hail the Empress

    ensconced in cardboard wall

    one day the mythical contractors

    will build her unicorn stall

    All hail Cardboardia!

    who knows what's tucked inside?

    Intel and life and human greed

    will ever take us for a ride!

    When you gaze upon a cardboard box, remember: the empress gazes back at you. (No, she doesn't. She's too busy feeling sorry for herself. The stroppy bint.)


    - Petal Chatoyance

    39 comments · 471 views
  • 15w, 3d
    This week and the next is moving.

    And I am in hell.

    Please, Celestia, CelestA.I. - I want to emigrate to Equestria.

    30 comments · 438 views
  • 17w, 1d
    It looks like we have a house.

    A little update on my life, it looks like we have a house to move to.

    Over the past... however long... we have been negotiating for a home in the Portland area. Hillsborough. We are just about to sign - this weekend, actually - and then we will own a home about six minuted from the Intel campus.

    It will need a little work - in order to provide me with a roughly equivalent 'Uniplex' room - the common place where my family gets together to watch or play, and the place I do everything in - the garage will be turned into a finished room with a proper floor and insulation and nice walls and skylights and suchlike. A replacement Japanese soaking tub will take a little longer, but it is in the plans.

    The house we are getting has some upsides and some downsides. It has enough rooms for a polyamoric family of four, which is good - one thing we have learned about being in a group marriage is that having enough private space is really a vital thing. People need some alone time. So a house for us has to have places where family members can just isolate if they need to. Say to work on something without interruption, or even just to chill out.

    The house is quirky, which is good. It appears to have been several houses, in a way. A house that was built on, then built onto again. The stairs are crazy in it, short stairs mostly, but strange in placement because of the haphazard way the place sort of grew over time. It has a moderate yard in the back, decent for gardening in, and a very nice front yard with a mature cherry tree. Mmm. Cherries.

    On the negative side, it is not very isolated - it is in the middle of Spielbergian Suburbia. It is next to the distant outer yard of a gradeschool, hopefully that will not be too awful. We are not 'kids' people, and we don't like noise and screaming and people breeding all over the place. Also, there is an airport nearby, somewhere. We have no way to know if we are on a flightpath that will be hell to suffer under. I guess... we'll find out.

    I tried packing some of my little, fragile things, and I broke down in tears. It was also hard on my stamina. Ever since my heart attack about a decade ago, my stamina has not been great. I'm going to need help packing, a lot of it, and I'm not sure how that is going to work out yet.

    But... the plan is that in three weeks or so, I will be living in a new house. When the shit hits the fan, it happens fast.

    That is the update, for those that care.

    I will keep working on my novel with dedication, but because of circumstances, I cannot promise, nor hope to always manage a chapter a day. I am sorry. I hate this unfortunate fact. I was really hoping to perform like I used to. But... life. The real world always gets in the way of ponies, and that is why real life is always inferior! :derpytongue2:

    Oh, how I wish that the Bureau Mythos, my own Pony Singularity, or the Optimalverse was real.

    But then, I doubt I am alone in that.

    - Petal Chatoyance, July 25th, 2014

    28 comments · 310 views
  • 18w, 5d
    Error Correction

    16 comments · 267 views
  • 19w, 2h
    Adrift Off Fiddler's Green: a new story is coming!

    We have a lead on a house. If things work out, then we may own a new place to live by the end of the month.

    This has cheered me enough that one day, I woke up, and... I wasn't completely sad. I had some energy. I had just a little joy in me. The bright day wasn't shining with despair anymore. I almost felt happy.

    And what powers my ability to write is feeling joy. Even just a little.

    And that translates to:

    Adrift Off

    Fiddler's Green

    A     C o n v e r s i o n     B u r e a u     S t o r y

                                                                  By Chatoyance

    It's coming. The first chapter is even now going through approval. It's a sort-of follow up to HUMAN In Equestria, and sort of it's own novel. It stars, with permission, a reporter character courtesy of Midnight Shadow. Why? Because while it is trivial to just invent a character, using his newfoal 'Frontpage' from 'Midnight's Tail' makes me feel, just a little bit, like the old days, when I was part of a community of writers all sharing the same mythos in joy and friendship. That sort of feeling is precious.

    A note on HUMAN In Equestria. For months and months, it has sat there, unfinished, a blot on my perfect record of always finishing every story. So, I set out to finish it. That was my initial goal. But... stories have lives of their own. Stories are living things, and what happened was that in doing more chapters of HUMAN, I realized an astonishing thing.

    I had already finished the book perfectly ( just as some readers did, in fact, point out at the time ) and I had failed to notice it. Or believe it. I think I didn't want that particular ride to end, really. But... it is complete. The 'new chapters' proved that to me. The book had a perfect, happy ending, plus an epilogue that tied everything up. It was complete, I was just unwilling to admit it. Silly, stubborn me!

    So, now I had two chapters and no book to put them in.

    That is remedied as of now... or rather, when the new novel is greenlighted and online. Soon, I expect.

    Please look for it. I would love to tell you a story, if I may.

    A story of the deepest secrets of Equestria... like what it actually is, what the princesses (and Discord) truly are, and... the little issue of what happens in my Equestria after ponies... and other creatures... die.

    Because an event, with a little Snow Bunny, from HUMAN In Equestria, needs to be followed up.

    Because stories, have a life, of their own.

    I guess... I'm back!

    - Petal Chatoyance

      July 12, 2014

    34 comments · 736 views
  • ...

Set in the Conversion Bureau universe, A young woman prepares for Conversion, but there is more she wants to change than merely her physical form.

As Featured On Equestria Daily!

First Published
5th Oct 2011
Last Modified
6th Oct 2011

You've chosen an interesting, and SCARY, world to build from.  The choice is literally die -- or lose your body and much of what makes you yourself.

You've handled the idea with grace; it's a good, internal conflict.  Thank you for writing it!


I really like your stories and was wondwering if you could upload your picture somewhere so I can get a better look at them, in last respawn I wanted to take a better look at the picture but couldn't do to the way the sight scales the pictures

The story is now complete. I so loved writing it.

I enjoyed the story and think it's pretty good. Well written and all, but if I existed in this universe I would honestly be one of the resistance. And I have enough pride for the human race to slam my fist on the button that would fire the hyperthermonuclear missile.

No offense though :unsuresweetie:

As I stated in the comments to The Big Respawn, I died a bit inside, but this time it wasn't bad...There's really no way to describe it.  :derpytongue2:

Anywho, keep writing awesome stuff like this.


I die a little inside too, and the way you stated that, Orpheus, made me think about why your comment resonated with me.

To me, the Ponyverse (I guess that name will do, more or less) is kind of hurty. There are qualities about it that burn and sting some deep part of me, the part that was once an innocent, happy child who knew nothing of sickness, war, poverty or mortality. It evokes a state of mind where I once imagined that the world was essentially good, that the hearts of men were not driven by greed, power and domination, but by kindness, cooperation, and the wellbeing of all. I know, all to well, that the world is not nice at all, and I have lost all hope that the human species will survive its own sociopathological bent. Worse, I have seen just how unfriendly the very physics of our universe is; it is incredible that the machinery of life managed to arise at all.

What I get from MLP:Fim is yearning. Yearning for a non-crapsack universe, and a non-evil species to be a part of. I am driven to explore the notion in my mind because it is just do damn tasty, but at the same time it burns, my how it burns. I suppose that frisson is driving me now.

Playing with the concept of a bright, floral universe of creatures fundamentally wired, and physiologically constructed to assist each other, where the very physics of nature itself demands engagement and mutual cooperation just tickles me deep, even while it hurts.

I don't know if it is a form of almost religious ecstasy, or some kind of twisted masochism. Then again, when have those two ever been separate?

That's my rambling take on this crap.  

All my internets. This is, as I've said elsewhere, "humans are bastards" done right. There's very little else I can say about it; brilliantly executed, told the story, had suspense, grew the characters, showed us the world and painted the picture. I loved it.

"She was bluish green then. Pale aquamarine. Aquamarine was a good color. Not her first pick, but, what the hay.

She giggled. What the hay."

So, she said that? It looked like the narrator said "what the hay".

Also, nice job.

Hmmm, so she inherited Pinkie's love for parties?

Also, her color makes her look like Mrs. Cake.

It's a really nice story. quite in-depth and well thought out. I like it a lot.:ajsleepy:

DISCLAIMER: I've only read The Big Respawn, not this or any other of your stories here. I just want to respond to some things I've seen in the comments.

I lack the eloquence of Jean Luc Picard, but I want to remind everyone that humans can accomplish wonders in peace and brotherhood: Disaster response. Space exploration. Universal Rights. The freaking Internet. The Arts. Our luminaries shine so brightly precisely because of the darkness surrounding (and within) us. Take away our darkness, and you take away our ability to be like Mohandas Gandhi, Harvey Milk, Martin Luther King Jr., Shakespeare, Margaret Atwood. Up until a few months ago at most, a shining, peaceful, and prosperous future was within our unaided abilities. (We've recently passed the point of Runaway Greenhouse Effect, which severely limits our future prospects.)

And now I'm going to undermine my own argument by pointing out its major flaw! (Yes, I think there's only one, but it's a doozy.)

Without our darkness, there isn't any call for our exemplars. Perhaps our Arts, strength of Brotherhood, and Technology wouldn't be as driven, but Universal Rights would be a default. No need for Gandhi without British Imperialism, no need for Milk or MLK without discrimination.

I never thought I'd come here, in the mlp part of the internet.

Surrounded by this new phenomenon I recognize something old and familiar.

A vision of a friendlier world. I had those as a child.

"it wasn't as if there were any ugly ponies."

And then she met Snips.

(I kid.)

I have to say, it makes me sad that you have such a dim view of humanity, the human condition and our future.

Hmm. And so I read it again (third time). Perhaps I need to read Teacup, Down on the Farm again, so as to try to glean any more information about what Pastern did after she moved to Equestria, moved away from Clydesdale, before moving on to The Taste of Grass. (I'm having fun with this, like a parasite, leaching off of your stories. Or could it perhaps be more of a symbiotic relationship... Are you getting anything at all from my high number of posts?)

It is good to see Pastern finally get her due. After three years (If I remember, in Petal's flashback, it was around two years after the emergence of Equestria that the bureaus were started, which would place 27 Ounces approximately 2.5 years before this story.), I should think that Pastern was more than deserving to finally become a pony.

And to have to endure it without anesthesia, too! A final sacrifice on her part, one most befitting -- to endure some of the pain she was forced to inflict. That being said, I can't help but wonder if she dreamed. The way you phrased her conversation with Petal makes it seem as though that should be very important to her -- and it should, to really be forgiven, to have that precious exchange with her princesses. But, to not be put out, to be writhing in such agony, it makes me wonder as to whether it is even possible to achieve such a state.

My Derp moment of the day: thinking none of Chatoyance's stories had the mane 6 in them. I really need to look at the character tags more... although this makes a certain victory for mankind even more horrific... oh well :pinkiecrazy:

Damn! That got dark! *checks tags* Oh....duh. I like that Alyssa is definitely aware that no matter how they say it, Equestria is effectively invading. Also I liked the fact that patches of the radiation were popping up and forming Equestria like lands. Makes much more sense than my previous though of the barrier slowly expanding outwards from Equestria. While that makes for a more ominous mental image, it means that would cause all of humanity to have to crowd into smaller areas as time went on.

Awesome story! Thoroughly enjoyed it.

You know as I make my way through these conversion bureau stories I find myself shifting from one extreme to another.  At first I tried to defend humanity, but now I find that this is an impossible task due to there actions and behavior.  The only thing I'm glad about is that this is a work of fiction.  If I had to deal with this for real I think I'd lose it.


You do understand that my portrayal of humanity is based on both historical circumstances and current events happening right now in the real world, right? Humans do these things. A lot. Whether it is the fanatical gunman at the Planned Parenthood (or the crazy gunman at a McDonald's, or a Walmart), or the everyday slaughter between the Catholics and the Protestants in Ireland, or... well, the list is literally endless, because more happens every fifteen seconds, somewhere.

The Bureaus in CB stories actually get attacked less than they likely would in real life. It would be just too grim to be... actually realistic.


I kinda figured that was your opinion on humanity given the nature of your stories, and for that I pity you.  Especially since these so called stories are greatly exagerated. Besides the Equestrians are hardly saintly themselves.  Especially in the universe that you have constructed.  


I pity me for knowing reality. Fantasy is so comforting. It was much nicer when I was twenty-something and didn't know crap about the world, and I didn't comprehend the scope of what goes on. But with the decades comes education and observation, experience and facts that cannot be ignored.

Which is precisely why I portray humanity as better than it really is in all of my stories. I grew up on old school, golden age science fiction, where Humanity was destined for the stars, and deep down, Mankind was noble and good. I put that into every story I write, that better vision of humanity, because despite factual reality all around me, deep down I still want to believe those old notions.

Oh, and don't confuse MY Equestria with the Equestria from the cartoon. My works are all Equestria Prime, they are Perfect, Beautiful, Friendship Equestria, and not a speck of the mean stuff in season two. Please try to remember that as you read my works. I write an Equestria that would be worthy of an afterlife, of a heaven, and I do it deliberately and consciously. It's an essential component in my art.


You know your one of the most nonsensical people I've ever conversed with.  Frankly I'm not sure what to make of you.  Except for the fact I think your misanthropic and you have a very cynical outlook.  Considering the fact that everything I have seen seems to indicate otherwise.  I mean yes things like that happen, but they are both usually exagerated and isolated your confusing events for non events.  Think of all the times things like that haven't happened rather than the few times they have.  All in all you have a very scewed vision of reality if you think that the humans especially in your 27 ounces story are so much more nobler than real humans.  The inner world of your mind must be a very terrifing place.

Than there is your protrayal of Equestria.  As far as I'm concerned they are lesser than the canon ponies.  Especially come off as condesending, holier than thy people, and if there supposed to be perfect.  Than why is it your own literature contradicts this especially in Letters from Home.  As far as I'm concerned the Equestria of your world is worse than the canon Equestria.  

Well I guess thats all I got to say.  Just to let know I don't bear you any malice and I still feel pity for you because you view humanity so negatively its so sad that you have such a scewed vision of it.  I hope some day you will get over this.

Though I will say this I do like your stories don't get me wrong even if I don't agree with you on certain things.  Still I would like to write my own story in your universe if your alright with that.


Yes, actually, the sorts of things I mention do, in fact, happen every day. Oh, they don't happen to any one person every day. But they happen, every day, to somebody, somewhere.

Right now, over one hundred armed conflicts and wars are going on, most fought by underage children taken from their parents by force. Not in our comfortable McMansions of the First World, where we eat Doritos and sip Mountain Dew and play with our computers. But these conflicts are inspired by our lifestyles, make no mistake.

Every day, most of humanity starves. We could feed them, the food to feed everyone is grown where most live. But it is shipped away, so that the few, us, can have very fancy supermarkets, instead of just markets. I'm not complaining, I like being among the wealthiest people on earth (and I do not mean that I am wealthy, I mean that living in the first world is automatically wealth, compared to the majority of the planet) and being able to have tomatoes in the winter. Hey, it's great! But the fact is, that means others don't get their food.

And on, and on. Google. Learn. Understand. I am not just some dark-clothes emo here, Tristem. You just don't have a clue about the planet you live on.


Lets just agree to disagree.  Its odvious we're not going to convince each other of anything.  I acknowlege that there are problems in this world.  I am not naive.  Although I still think its greatly exagerated.  Still I don't see much point in dwelling on it especially since theres not really much I can do about it Chatoyance.  That and this time period is one of the best ever.  There are plenty worse times than this the middle ages spring to mind.  I hope you can understand were I'm coming from.   For I do understand what you are trying to tell me in a way.  Although I fear this was not the answer you were hoping for its the only one I have.

Still in a way what you say is true humanity does have plenty of room for improvement, but I can't help but feel that you dwell on this too much for your own good.  Though I wish to ask you one thing how old do you think I am?

Hmmm...I still have to wonder what if anything humanity tried against the barrier. Perhaps the HLF thinks there is some weapon (nukes anyone) that could be used against the barrier to overwhelm its energy. Equestrian magic may not follow all rules of physics, but its possible some might have figured that the barrier has a certain energy threshold that it can handle before it breaks.

Of course, terrorists are terrorists, and I despise them all. HLF, PER, it doesn't matter. Their goals may change, but the means by which they try to achieve them do not.

The strange thing was that magical radiation only seemed to destroy primate cells. No one had an explanation for that.

I'll be honest and state that I have an honest problem with this one right here. If it was shown that it didn't just target primate cells, I'd be less bothered. Sure, its also targeting the Gorilla's and Cimpanzee's, but...that just makes it more...malignant. Evil. It implies that it knows that of the other primate species, these two species are capable of becoming just like humans. (plus I like Chimps and Gorilla's, specially the Silverbacks)

I do like though that she recognizes it for what it is. It is foolish to call it anything but an invasion. It may be a nice one, but it is still such. Hannah a member of the HLF, or did she decide she would be the one to decide the fate of her soul? Or did something simply snap due to the sudden pressure, lossing in a sense the choice of choosing when she was ready for it?

Guess I'll find out as I go on forward.

>>1544755 "I still have to wonder what if anything humanity tried against the barrier."

I have referenced this in many of my stories, basically everything the world had except one item, a true doomsday weapon called a hypernuclear device. They stopped at that. For three days, Mankind made the ocean boil with every weapon both ground and space based used against the Equestrian Shield. Then, after that, Celestia made a little 'demonstration', small, personal, and absolute. There were rapid negotiations behind the scenes. The leaders of the worldgovernment immediately decided as one to work on her plan to use nanotech with thaumatic energy to invent the first ponification serum.

I had planned to do this story in great detail. It was on my list.

>>1544933 "magical radiation only seemed to destroy primate cells."

The reason for this is strongly implied and effectively answered in my novel 'The 800 Year Promise'. Let's just say, for clarification, that primate cells are the only cells Celestia ever fully and truly 'scanned' during her observation of our strange universe, and that she owes someone a big, big favor, and that as an omnibenevolent immortal entity, she always keeps her promises. It all may seem very odd, but from her immortal and godlike perspective, she is doing absolute good.

it must be like touring hell itself.

Not surprising. I've often thought that if hell exists, it is all around us, because humans have the ability to make hell on Earth. Course, we can also make things nicer, but sometimes that requires more effort.

Escape from a world where the violent human heart could never be truly trusted.

I would like to technically point out that if it wasn't for said heart missy, you might not be there to be converted in the first place, nor might anyone else.

I'd also like to say that said heart is a double sided sword. One side of it carries our violent instincts, and all the bad we are capable of doing, while the other side carries all the good we are equally capable of doing.

The real test of the human spirit is to best our darker sides and come out stronger and better.

The world had gone mad, been mad, for a long time now.

This sentence made me think of a certain zanny orange haired man with a hat. "Why is a raven like a writing desk?"

....somehow, I have a feeling Pinkie Pie would be able to come up with an answer for that.

I must say, I'm surprised there weren't government soldiers in place to guard the Bureaus in the first place. With a group like the HLF out and about, I'd think those facilities would be...maybe not crawling with soldiers, but a few stationed there so just in case.

If nothing else, the Equestrians should have sent some of their royal guard there to act as potential protection.

“ I just want to be something that can run, or fly, or be out there in the world, and not... shut up in some library or something.”

You know, no one ever said you had to stay shut up in a library or something, as a unicorn. Unless Celestia intends to force you to do such to fit into Pony society, you can do whatever you want to do...within reason, obviously.

“PTUUI!!!” a white-flecked translucent splotch was expulsively deposited in Alyssa's cup. “And a hair for good measure!” Pinkie had somehow snatched a short strand of shining pink from her mane, and it somehow ended up, curled, on top of the splotch.

“EWWwwww! PINKIE!” Twilight was... not approving in tone.

“What? It's got DNA in it!” Pinkie winked at Alyssa “Think Pink.”

One complaint I've often heard about your TCB fics is that the mane six are...the term generally used is perversions, of who they actually are in the show. In this instance however, I can certainly see Pinkie Pie doing that.

All the scary, dark, cruel, violent parts of her had been washed away. She keenly felt their absence, and she felt as if she were lighter for it, almost floating as she lay there on the floorboards. It was as if the most enormous tumor had been surgically excised from her essence. Thinking about that feeling made tears come to her large eyes.

Here we reach another...problem part of mine. Part of this problem obviously comes from the fact that I view all the episodes as canon, which means I except what we've seen in Season 2 to be the truth of their world. The ponies are flawed just as we are, and I would say they are also capable of being violent. The major differences being A)How far it takes to drive them to such, and B)What it takes to drive them to such. Fall Weather Friends showed us such a glimpse, and we also saw a glimpse that the Ponies can have...mental problems, said example being Pinkie Pie in Party of One.

But hey, your fic, your universe :pinkiehappy:

“POORLY AIMED, I SHOULD THINK!” Doctor Pastern did not look at all like she was trying to make a joke.

They are using either old equipment (as much of what I've seen suggests advanced tech) or the radiation from the barrier is interfering with the aim of the device.

That reminds me...Why is Pastern in the chariot? Is she intending to be ponified?

That poor man. That poor, poor man.

I'm sorry deary, but not only was he trying to kill you and your friends, he was also either unskilled enough, or perhaps too foolish enough, to not turn back.

Don't feel sorry for him. Pity, maybe, but don't feel sorry.

This was a matter of great excitement in such a small village, and Petal knew exactly what needed to be done. She swung her bright pink tail across her aquamarine flanks, keeping time to her own rhythmic gait. Across her back were slung two large saddlebags, filled to bursting with balloons, streamers, boxes of candies, little cakes and other treats, and of course, a great heavy jug of her own special punch.

Dear Twilight, while it seems added dna from an Equestrian cannot ensure a human becomes a specific type of pony, it can add personality traits of the aforementioned Equestrian. This information should be retained, and any further such incidents carefully watched and documented to ensure there are no adverse effects of such an addition to the Serum.


Make sure that said button isn't firing ALL of them off. I wouldn't be so foolish as to use every single one of those warheads on the barrier. If one's not going to work, its highly likely that none will work (Its certainly possible the energy released from all of them could be enough to break or fracture the barrier, but MAD's not quite viable yet in this scenario. At least wait til using it won't technically matter all that much)


The fact that its "humans are bastards" trope played right is part of the main reason I've decided to lessen some of my hostility to the series Chat's created. The fact that it's also completely fictional (and that its not written badly) are also such.


For a moment there, I thought it was Mrs. Cake. But I think she has violet eyes instead of blue.


I approve of this post. Humanity has its faults, but if you only see the darkness, then your letting it win. Part of being human is facing the darkness both within us and outside us, and besting it, making both ourselves and our world a better place in the process.


Everything has a flaw, for nothing is perfect. Besides, without darkness, we wouldn't know what light is. Without evil, we wouldn't know good. And I know possible response to that won't go well, but I would be lying to myself by not saying such, and we must at least be honest with ourselves.


I heartily agree that it is indeed sad. I'm a cynical person and even I have a brighter (well...overall brighter) view of what our future will be like. Personally, I no longer feel any anger of any sort towards Chat and her views on humanity. Instead, I recognize that she is free to believe such, even if I feel great pity that she can only see the black of the world, rather than the light, and realize that our world is far more grey than anything else.

The Following section has been snipped, due to not pertaining to the story itself.

Now that that's outta the way, I shall once again reiterate, that I did enjoy reading this story. I did get briefly confused when things switched to Alyssa's past showing how things happened with Equestria's appearance and everything. I also found the scene between Alyssa and Twilight to be interesting, I was waiting for Twilight to end up saying something, as in sense you could say that Alyssa technically indirectly insulted her. It must have really startled Twilight to find someone who has so much knowledge but hates having it (Personally, there is nothing wrong with knowledge, as long as your learning it for the right reasons. To use it as a not the best one out there.) Would have loved to see a brief bit from Twilight's POV after the conversion.

I will state that Dr. Pastern is now my favorite character so far. Which in a sense is rather funny, when you think about it, seeing as she is, well, human, and we're basically supposed to view humanity as bad in this (overall it seems that way anyways, but hey, its working in the humans are bastards tropes, so I'm not surprised)

I look forward to reading what's next in the line. Hopefully, I won't end up getting sucked into reading all the stories one after another and therefore get distracted from my own projects, as that can be really annoying :derpytongue2:


You're a bit late to the party. Thanks to plenty of assholes doing what assholes do best - crapping all over things - Chat's given up writing. Be thankful and make merry that such travesties against nature and writing and creation itself will no longer darken your doorstep.


But see, here's the funny thing......

I'm liking her stories.

Her writing is superb. She is obviously a good writer, that much is definitively sure.

I may not agree with her world view, or even her fanon of MLP FIM, but that doesn't mean her stories are horrible. Different, interesting, and something to cause thought perhaps, but not horrible travesties.

Perhaps I need to draw a big neon sign saying "I LIKE THE STORY" in big bold letters in put it in my post.

As for the assholes part, she should do what I do with assholes. Ignore them. Do what you enjoy doing. If writing makes her happy, then WRITE I SAY!

Some people are going to consider me crazy for this but....


No, seriously, don't stop writing.

EDIT: You'll notice I decided to snip everything not pertaining to the story, or at least not anything loosely pertaining to such, in my comment. I've decided that its better both for Chatoyance, and more importantly, me, to do such.

If nothing else, it will save me typing time in the future.


easy to say, harder to do. Apparently some people seem to think you need to agree with all aspects of an author's world viewpoint, or that said author's world viewpoint needs to be "corrected" or that the author needs "educating" when you, the reader, don't agree.

It means, sadly, that even logical, friendly discourse becomes unwanted.

I'm glad you enjoy her stories, I do to. I don't agree with the means in all of them, but I do generally find the ends to be agreeable. I find it sad others cannot separate the two, as we must and do in real life. I think she's been educated enough, if you ask me - she's learned that having their world-view challenged makes a small but loud percentage of otherwise rational humans into violent apes. Don't bother trying to educate her more, okay? You'll be wasting her time as well as yours. Discuss it, sure - I have a group I use for that (though I haven't written proper for over a month in anything).

If you can bring up - in a discussive way - ideas or views from stories without dragging the author into it, then please by all means start new threads. If you cannot, then ask me to promote you and I can, I think. The groups in fimfic don't really work all that well.


easy to say, harder to do. Apparently some people seem to think you need to agree with all aspects of an author's world viewpoint, or that said author's world viewpoint needs to be "corrected" or that the author needs "educating" when you, the reader, don't agree.

It does scratch against my grain, but then, many things in life do, and I simply have to learn to tolerate it and move on. She is free to see things her way, as I am mine. As for the having to agree with one's worldview for a story to be good, thats a load of utter bullpucky. I've read plenty of stories, fanfic and actual books, that were either by people whose world view I didn't approve of, or the view presented in said books I didn't approve of. The only ones I didn't get at least some satisfaction from reading were the stories that were actually bad. These TCB stories so far are not, they are in fact well written. Her writing style is going to take some getting used to though, it threw me for a loop in the previous story.

It means, sadly, that even logical, friendly discourse becomes unwanted.

Its the internet. The instant a temper flares by even one angeron its generally inevitable in my mind that it shall lead to such...excepting in cases where no one really feels strongly about the topic, in which case its all a heat of the moment thing.

I'm glad you enjoy her stories, I do to. I don't agree with the means in all of them, but I do generally find the ends to be agreeable. I find it sad others cannot separate the two, as we must and do in real life. I think she's been educated enough, if you ask me - she's learned that having their world-view challenged makes a small but loud percentage of otherwise rational humans into violent apes. Don't bother trying to educate her more, okay? You'll be wasting her time as well as yours. Discuss it, sure - I have a group I use for that (though I haven't written proper for over a month in anything).

If you can bring up - in a discussive way - ideas or views from stories without dragging the author into it, then please by all means start new threads. If you cannot, then ask me to promote you and I can, I think. The groups in fimfic don't really work all that well.

I am unfortunately a very blunt person, and am further compacted by the fact that if I'm not careful, I'll delve into a tangent where I stop making sense and am simply speaking from the hip. So how much good discussion I'd be able to put up is...questionable from my perspective at the moment. But, as for the offer, I shall consider it.


Holy shit dude. You're replying to an ancient comment.



If it even stayed on the internet, it could be tolerated, but it devolved into outright death threats, intimidation and attacks on her real person. She has had a singularly unique life so far, and for her troubles has gained a dedicated group of haters that are determined to stir up trouble. They have made writing pony all but impossible by having others insist that she is wrong, wrong, wrong and that she must atone for these sins.

Quite simply, if all the detractors were as nice as you, there wouldn't be a problem, but they aren't. It's ironic that her opinion mankind has a problem with violent, anti-social tendencies and could do better by being changed into a kinder, gentler, more family-oriented creature, has caused her to suffer under examples of those same violent, anti-social tendencies.


Necro-posting. I dig it :coolphoto:


I still honestly don't understand why anyone would take it that far. Ponies may be srs business, but their not that serious. Of course, she could in a sense take it as a sign of how threatened they felt by such a mindset existing.

I try to be blunt, but I tend to try not to be (when I can help it, which is when I don't let my temper get a hold of the reigns) hurtful when I'm blunt. Despite the inner demon within me and how I love grimdark stories (there suffering fuels me lol) I don't actually like being angry or hateful to people without a real damn good reason (which is why I've effectively extended a hoof in friendship towards chat...3 times now?) I would also state that I'm not necessarily nice so much as...I'm not mean for the lulz of it. I follow a policy of treat others decently unless they treat me like crap. Chat hasn't done such, so thus I treat her like a decent human being...whom I have disagreements on worldviews with.

I still encourage her though to shake away those haters and continue writing. heck, me, I'd keep writing to spite all those people who hate on my work. But then, I'm...weird that way. The only sin she need atone for is deciding to stop writing. Don't let them get you down Chat, if you love writing, then keep on doing it :twilightsmile::pinkiehappy::yay:

And if nothing else, you can always send the mean detractors my way :pinkiecrazy:

Now, I need to go to sleep so I can actually be coherent enough later to actually read more of her stories as well as work on my own.


Mighty decent of you, if you ask me. If you want 'dark', then my own shattered worlds stories may be to your liking, based on a variant of hers.

I like the shout out to Twilight's original speech from the original Conversion Bureau story, and the explanation as to why it's disturbing :twilightsheepish: I don't know what it is, but your stories makes conversion seem reasonable. :eeyup:

#44 · 99w, 1d ago · 2 · · 3. Birth Pains ·

This is a very deep story. You're a very deep writer. :eeyup:


Thank you! I felt that including the original speech was a tip of the hat to the creator of the basic idea, but - to be honest - it was a highly problematical speech, and I felt it needed some kind of noprize explanation for elements with in it (gun to your head?). I figured the most reasonable would be that Twilight was rushed and simply did not grasp human idioms and expressions. I pictured her dog tired, slaving over what materials she had, trying to compose something in English that would be warm and inviting, and failing because her human helpers weren't sure what she was asking.

To me, that sounds plausible.

"It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense."  - Mark Twain

So in the end, she still had a little bit of Pinkie Pie in her :pinkiegasp:

#47 · 97w, 3d ago · 1 · · 3. Birth Pains ·


Not surprising. I've often thought that if hell exists, it is all around us, because humans have the ability to make hell on Earth. Course, we can also make things nicer, but sometimes that requires more effort.

I often thought that being human was actually the real hell and every being on Earth used to live in a paradise as other sentient beings but after one has sinned, that person would end up here and the omnipotent being made us forget our origins, forget our past, and be sent to another universe where everything sucks as punishment (Also known as: Where we are right now), and to be completely honest, what's more hell than Earth? If this isn't the case then it's kind of sad that humans can imagine a better world (even if some do not tend to like MLP, it would still be paradise and more utopian in comparison to what we have now) than an omnipotent being.


Nah, being human itself isn't the real hell, its when we gather in large numbers and start disagreeing with each other, and then get angry that someone doesn't agree with us that we start down the path of making Earth Hell.

Also, are you implying something along the lines of Adam and Eve? Because I have a rather interesting viewpoint on that little incident involving the apple.


Also, are you implying something along the lines of Adam and Eve? Because I have a rather interesting viewpoint on that little incident involving the apple.

To an extent, I meant like everyone lives in the paradise and when an individual person sins up they are sent here.


There is no transgression that could possibly warrant being sentenced to a universe of horror and oblivion, with no memory of why one was sent there.

Any authority, deity, or force that would do such a thing is a despicable and psychotic true evil, and cannot be tolerated.

If your belief is true, then whatever does this to sapient beings is my enemy, and the enemy of all compassion.

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