[Reupload] The Changeling's attack on Canterlot came from the no where, Celestia considered their species peaceful no matter how the look like, where they live or how they do that. When Twilight faces with the broken Queen of the changelings, she seeks advice from her teacher, because she wants to help them.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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yeaaaa it's back X3
'Pieceful' ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ENGLISH IT'S 'peaceful' IS IT THAT HARD
3110831
Nope :D, since I deleted this whole thing from FimFiction, and from hard drive too.. it took me a long time to revive it and I did with the version I didn't correct.. Ty for letting me know :O
Are you going to continue?
3111087
As time permit's it to me... I'll, but now I have plenty of incomplete stories(unfortunately) so don't know which I'll continue.. it doesn't really up to me.. so I won't make any promises when I'll upload 2nd chapter.
3111101
Ah
I like what your trying to do, but there are some problems.
For one everything seems contrived, or forced: The twidash, Luna's response, and twi's (assumed) future transformation.
There's also the pacing, either the stories going by fast, or the lack of commas makes me read too fast. They also are still for hours at a time, unless they are really like that for the whole time, it should not be exaggerated.
Just like "Wish", this is a promising story. And just like "Wish", I hope you will continue it.
3164810
Thanks a lot, yeah... now I have around 1k words from the 2nd chapter for both stories, but nowdays I can't really find the time to write... even if I want to, but I DO! want to continue both.
3168772 Write when you have the time, I can wait as long as you need me too.
I love these kinds of stories, they're fantastic! Will there be Chrylight in the future? That would be lovely.
The premise - Twilight helps changelings - is a good one, and one I'd like to see more of, but like others have said, it feels too rushed.
I can see Twilight trotting through the Everfree to see Zecora for tea (or a potion, etc.), and catching a hint of buzzing wings slightly out of tune with the background sound of the forest, then over time (1-2 chapters) coming to the discovery of the changelings, perhaps watching their camp/hive/etc (not quite sure where you're going to go with "...'but I did see plenty of changelings, maybe they would help us set up a meeting with her.'...") for a time, but not reacting at all when she sees Chrysalis by a lake? I appreciate the artist's vision, but this seems too OOC, after all, she did marenap Cadence, brainwash Shining Armor, wound Celestia, and try to take over Equestria, unless you're going with an alternate timeline/universe, in which case I'll wait for future chapters to see how it pans out.
On the subject of the (inferred) Twidash, that is another part that feels rushed, abrupt, and muddles the chapter further. I have read many stories that have subplots, arcs, etc, but putting them together in the first chapter like that is jarring. Example: changelings, changelings, changelings, TWIDASH, changelings, changelings, MORE TWIDASH! Also, for Rainbow Dash to react so mellowly to the sighting of a changeling (when Twilight tells her) and to agree so readily to peacefully find them instead of wanting to kick some flank, again strikes a discordant note.
Finally, I understand from previous comments that this is an unedited version? I will leave it favorited and bookmarked and upvoted for now, and hope the revised edition is coming soon.
Your's Truly
A. L. Silvertongue
3168772 so is this story dead...or what?
Question: Update?