• Member Since 21st Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen 36 minutes ago

StormLuna


Princess Luna is the best princess and Nightmare Moon is the best queen.

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During a trip to Ponyville and after a trip to Sugarcube Corner, Celestia suddenly gets a horrible toothache. She is very apprehensive about going to the dentist but Twilight ultimately persuades her to go. To ease Celestia's pain, Twilight suggests that the dentist write a spell to remove the pain involving root canals. The result benefits more than just Celestia.

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 6 )

Lots of telling and not showing, and your characterizations are...well, wooden.

It reads a lot like a laundry or grocery list, frankly.

Comment posted by StormLuna deleted Aug 1st, 2013

You could go into detail a little more with this but it's not a bad start to a fic.

I liked that story, your storys are really good StormLuna.:)

3012572 Thanks White Rainbow, I do my best to provide quality material for everypony. I start out with a general idea of what the story is going to be about and then just let the words come to me.

If i may give you a tip:
Get some pre-readers. It will help u with the grammar, and could help you get into the characters head. I would thing Applejack could be a hard one to get right, so a pre-reader to help u with her mite not be a bad idea.

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