Proving Your Worth

When Rainbow Dash finds Pinkie Pie in a sudden depressed, sorrowful state, she takes it upon herself to cheer her friend up.

But sometimes a friend doesn't just need cheering up. Sometimes that friend just needs another friend by their side every step of the way.

Not a shipping story.

(This is also rated sad, too. It just didn't let me tag 'sad' because apparently 'comedy' and 'sad' are conflicting categories.)

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 13 )

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ForceUser

ForceUser #1 · Jul 18th, 2013 · · ·

That was pretty sweet and nice.

Don't get the downvotes though

Jonathon Smythe

Jonathon Smythe #2 · Jul 18th, 2013 · · ·

I have no idea why there are dislikes on this thing. Everypony seemed in character, it was paced well, I didn't see any spelling mistakes, it was just... great.

Well done, sir (or madam).

EquesTRON

EquesTRON #3 · Jul 18th, 2013 · · ·

It's rare that a story doesn't get at least a couple of downvotes -- but oddly enough, they never bother to say why they didn't like it. I suspect there's a handful of trolls on this site who just automatically downvote everything, just to be jerks.

Overall, good story. A few grammar peculiarities here and there ("causing her mind to be of uneasiness", "sealing the fate", "hummed their systems to settle tranquil", "still feeling quite bereaved to do much"), occasional mixing of past and present tenses, and a few "swallowed a dictionary" spots where you used words (like "disjointedly") that don't mean quite what you think they mean...

Also:

(Rainbow Dash has slipped enough on it to turn her flanks red, mind you)

Generally, you shouldn't have your narrator directly addressing the audience. This can sometimes work in broad comedies (The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy is a good example of a book that gets away with this a lot), but it feels distinctly out of place in dramatic stories.

But overall, good job.

Shikilicious

Shikilicious #4 · Jul 18th, 2013 · · ·

2895222

I browsed the site the whole afternoon (CET) today and recognized that the two downvotes were there very few minutes after it was released, I doubt that it even would have been enough time to read the first 500 words. I experienced the same with one of my strories, got released and instantly (within less than two minutes after I received the approval mail) it had four downvotes on it. Dunno what kind of complexes some people have, the function should probably be disabled or bound to leave a short comment at least that people don't get discouraged because of it.

Great story, let me correct at least one of the downvotes with an upvote

carnivale

carnivale #5 · Jul 18th, 2013 · · ·

2895222 Thank you very much for your feedback, I do appreciate the time for you to point out the story's flaws. I'm still a young writer, and practicing to get better.

And I do think it's unfair for people to down vote stories when they didn't bother to read the whole thing. It's one thing if they didn't like it, but it's another if they were just doing it to be trolls.

EquesTRON

EquesTRON #6 · Jul 18th, 2013 · 1 · ·

2895393

It wouldn't surprise me if they didn't even read that far, and just downvoted it solely because the cover picture made them think it was going to be a Pinkie/Dash shipping fic.

People downvote stories for the dumbest reasons sometimes. Some will downvote you because you didn't spell out Applejack's southern accent phonetically in her dialogue; some will downvote you because you did. There's just no pleasing some people.

2895481
Hey, we learn by doing. You have good ideas, and a pretty solid grasp of spelling, sentence structure, and so on, and that puts you ahead of half the would-be authors around here already. (I mean, really, you should see some of the stuff that gets posted here. Some of these people are in college, and I've seen second-graders who could write more coherent stories than they can!) Heck, I've been writing stuff for almost 20 years, off and on, and I still keep a dictionary handy to occasionally look up words to confirm that I'm using the right one!

Aqua Shimmer

Aqua Shimmer #7 · Jul 18th, 2013 · 1 · ·

At first I thought this was a shipping story so I was cautious about reading it and as I read more of it the more I was expecting them to kiss. I lost myself in the reality of the story and was thinking "Wow. I can really see this happening." Great story all together. You defiantly proved its worth.