"Hey Rainbow, remember when you asked me if I didn't like the gloomy weather?" "Yeah?" Rainbow Dash answered while walking up to Pinkie. "Well you were right, I never really like the gloomy weather, but like most things in life, there is always something beautiful to overcome the dark times," Pinkie Pie said quietly but still with a happy tone. PLEASE REVIEW!
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Alright, first, I suggest you space out or indent the paragraphs, and consider an editor to help you with grammar, as it takes a lot of practice to get grammar down.
You also don't need to give a full description on the main characters with stories on this sight, keep introduction short and sweet.
Otherwise, your actually off at a good start, compared to me.
Simple yet sweet, I like it
Besides some grammar and editing issues the story was fun to read
I'll have to read this later because it's late and I have bodies to bury in the morning.
not bad; different way of placin ur words n' whatnot but, other-wise cute
fic. keep up t nice work 
Before you write anything else, you should find a pre-reader. The amount of spelling and grammar mistakes, combined with the lack of paragraph breaks, made this really difficult to read. At the very least, run the story through spell-check before you post it. This feels like a first draft, not a completed story.
This is a pet peeve for me more than others, but in dialogue, characters should almost always use contractions. Not doing so makes them sound stilted and unnatural, especially a "slangy" character like Rainbow Dash. Listen closely to how the characters talk on the show and try to emulate it.
I'd recommend updating this after you edit it yourself, or find someone to proofread it. You might be able to turn it into a cute ship fic, but it needs a lot of work.
ending was D'aww.
3596394 I understand what you mean about the grammar/spelling thing. I am usually really good at spelling, but I don't have spell check on my laptop, and it is annoying when I type fanfics. I will check my spelling and grammar next time. Also, I put paragraphs in now.
As for your pet peeve, can I have a specific example of Rainbow Dash or Pinkie Pie being out of character? Because every time I write a fanfic, I always do it as close to their personalities as I possibly can.
Otherwise, thanks for the help
3596717
I don't think you wrote them out of character, just that the lack of contractions makes their dialogue sound unnatural in places. Like this:
It sounds a lot more natural for Dash to say "I'm not exactly that active" and "tell her that we'll have to change it..." It seems like a little thing, but it goes a long way toward making the characters sound like themselves.
I hope you're not discouraged by anything I've said. It probably sounded a little harsh, but I just want to help.
3596861 Don't worry about it. I need tips like that so I could make better stories in the future