Purveyor of substandard horse-words since 2012. [they/them]
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Ponies are like glass; they can fall apart.
When their most fragile friend finally, irreparably shatters, Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie watch their bonds dissolve. Together, they have to find out that life is beautiful—albeit painful—and that friendship can survive anything.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Omg!! This is so amazing... please continue... if there's a way for these ponies to be happy...write it and share it PLEASE. I'm in tears.
A very realistic outcome, personally I would be glad if you kept this realistic, we both know something like this changes you forever, just as long as they know she's not coming back then they will be shattered. I look forward.to reading more.
Dear God, this is depressing.
I really liked this, but it's so sad!
The feels... They are many.
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3905776 Continuation's in the works.
3905843 Thanks a lot. I'm not exactly sure what you mean by "realistic", but I'll try to keep it realistic as I see it. As realistic as a show about cartoon horses can be anyway
3905863 3905856 3905878 *twirls mustache
evilly* Then it's all going according to plan
You've got a good grasp of suspense, my man. I already knew exactly what was going to happen in this chapter after I read the synopsis, but I still nonetheless felt a sense of dread and anxiety as the story neared their discovery of Fluttershy's suicide. That's always a good sign, when a reader can get interested in the story not necessarily because of "what happens next," but because we are interested in how the characters are going to handle such a situation.
In terms of writing quality and style, this is also pretty great. So far, I also think you have a nice grasp of the characters and how they interact, and I'm interested in how the rest of this thing is going to play out when things come to a boiling point.
As a final thing I'm going to say... I really liked how you didn't attempt to just exploit a situation such as this one for "feels." The suicide note wasn't this long, drawn out thing bashing the readers over the head with a feels hammer screaming "CRY, DAMMIT, CRY!" It was simple, short, and to the point, just like most real suicide notes are. But best of all, the simplicity of it really gets you to become curious about Fluttershy's real reasons for doing such an awful thing. It's obvious from the note that there must have been much deeper reasons and motivations for her suicide, but we still don't really know for sure what those are. And neither do the characters; and it's those torturous feelings of "What did I do wrong?" and "What could I have done to prevent this?" that are going to make things blow up.
This is a very nice start to what's already shaping up to be a great story. I wish you the best of luck.
Oh, and one more thing:
Based on what I see here, I'm going to have to respectfully disagree.
3906084 That was... thorough. Thanks a lot for the review, and I'm glad you enjoyed it.
I have to say, I really like your writing style, and the way you presented everything was believable. I'll be waiting for more.
read later story #99... Buuut since this looks REALLY good i'll read in it in a bit if i'm able
why flutters... why?
God dammit!
I got that pain in my gut of sorrow and my hands went cold and clammy while reading this...
...next chapter please...
I need a pillow to cry in. :'(
Jeez. Hard-hitting. Nice job.
This story is amazing but so despairing.
Good job with the story. While it didn't make ME sad in the end, it was well written and perfectly paced when it came to the suspense. You got yourself another like and a follower.
I'm gonna go over there and be sad for a sec'. Anyone joining me?
Suicide.....or murder?
3906894 dun dun duuuuuuuun
Fluttershy committed Sepuku!!! also where teh bloody fuck is Discord
3905954 You done good so far, just try not to make them have all happy endings and move it, shit like this really, really changes creatures after all
love suicide fics. dont know why, but i do. keep it up!
This is something Fluttershy might do, very realistic.
You have my attention, friend. I'm not sure if everything is truly what it seems in this story, but there is strength in this writing. I am therefor giving this story an upvote and a watch.
This is heartbreaking in the most beautiful way. I do a weekly fanfic review on the page I admin on Facebook (Bitch Please, I'm Rainbow Dash), and I've just typed up a recommendation for this fanfic for Feb 28 (I schedule on for every Friday). I have a personal rule against recommending anything less than 10,000 words; you have written something so beautiful that I have ignored my rule. Kudos to you, sir.
While I normally dislike stories that try to take cheap shots at my feelings this way -- not to mention unlike most others here, I wasn't really moved by this one in particular -- I was still intrigued by it somewhat. On one hand, the whole suicide thing felt a bit too "out of the blue" to make any sort of sense, but on the other hand, that does kind of illustrate the enigma of the subject, doesn't it? It can happen at the moment and to the person that you least expect, and for reasons completely incomprehensible to you.
That said, I'm not entirely convinced just yet, but you have my attention...
3907713
Oh you!
I'm the sick, heartless asshole I MADE myself into, but you, you pierced my core. *sobs*
B-bravo.
*A single tear falls from his eye*
You sick, heartless, bloody monster...
Oh my God... As someone who has attempted suicide before, this story has my interest. It always seems to happen to the people that you least expect. And the note was spot on. I remember when I wrote mine, the only thing I could say was that I loved everyone, and that it wasn't their fault.
However, I was confused a bit by the mention of her midsection being bound with rope too, until the genius of it hit me. She was tying her wings down, so she actually could hang herself without instinctively hovering. (At least, that's how I interpreted it.)
This is painful, but in a good way. I'm looking forward to seeing how the rest of the Mane 6 (5 now...) deal with the aftermath
'Ponies are like glass'
Really? I thought they were marshmallows
3909342 Your avatar perfectly fits this comment
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I expected panic rather than staring. At least that was my thoughts on this chapter.
3910460 Valid point.
Well shit. I love this.
3910460 they could be in shock.
How could Fluttershy even think that? And even if she did, how could she rationalize leaving her pets to fend for themselves?
Where exactly is the imposition that she was seeing herself as? l:
Confused, suppose I'll come back and read the next chapter later to see if it's not as disbelief-inducing, the whole "wings-tied-down" was really shocking, Flutters obviously thought this through and that is rather disturbing.
Really want to read the next chapter.
You know, because of this story, I appreciate Fluttershy more than I did before.
Why the F
did she do that.
I can't help but feel bad...
Also, I think this song fits it very well.
so sad
3906955 I know I felt the same way. If anything, he probably would have done anything to make her feel better.
This first chapter was so touching and very life like. I also loved how you had managed to capture Fluttershy's death scene very well. Then when you wrote that Twilight had a wide range of vocabulary words and then twisted it in "She had no words to describe what had happened." Again, you captured something that is very life changing and touching. I do not think there are many writers in the world of fan fiction can really capture what you just did.
Your story is added to my favorites.:
3920862 He would of been all NOOO FLUTTERSHY SENPAI NOOO!!!
What a wonderful opening to what is no doubt going to be a very chilling story. I can't wait to read the next chapter! :)
Well, that made me cry a little.
Interesting idea you have my attention very soon
3920939 He is a very lonely character of chaos and who is going to be there to reach out?
We know that Fluttershy wrote that letter saying that felt too shy for friends. I can't but help feeling that something else happened to fill her with that much grief.
3923394 thats the only reason I didn't favorite this fic, her reason is fucking dumb XD