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Sometimes, Friendship just isn't enough. When Applejack truly understands that, she confronts the problem. That problem's name is Twilight Sparkle.
Rated "Teen" for suggestive themes and crude humor. Enjoy!
Edit: Small thing I forgot to mention. Alicorn Twilight? IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!
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I'm a bit of a Twijack fan, especially when it starts one-sided for AJ. This one's a read later for me!
Alrighty. I'm listening.
So what is the plan here exactly? AJ wants to put some muscle on our favorite little bookworm?
So another workout fic. I'd have to see another chapter before giving my judgement.
I only read this once, so forgive me if the potential critique/review standpoint is weak and grants you no power. I'm okay with the repetition of Twilight being seen as weak. It sounds like the jumbled thoughts of an emotionally tired Applejack, which is something you did very well. The emotions seep from the monitor. Or maybe that's something else. And the interaction with Celestia? That was good.
My minor gripe at this current point in time is that the others are not given more than a passing comment. The others were turned into pulpy piles of pony and then they're in the hospital and get better? I know TwiJack is the focus of this fic, but it'd be nice to at least have that.
This is really great so far, looking forward to more.
Why does this have so many downvotes?
2890343
Hmm... Duly noted.
2890375
The downvotes? One of two answers, the pairing or... trolls... That's right, ya pussified internet soldiers. I'm on to you.
Hmmm
Eeyup. Expanding on the other 4 of the main 6 without taking the focus off of twijack will be a very important part of your next couple of chapters. This first chapter makes a big show of how much of a single entity they form, how inseperable they are (while making twi the centre focus of the group) so it should be paid particular heed.
Other than that great first chapter I LIKE!
ps, Do not mind the down votes, there are many reasons for them but if they don't explain why they bothered downvoting them in the first place then they unfortunately mean nothing. Either there isn't a valid reason behind them (and they know it that's why they dont say why) or they do not wish to suggest how to improve a story, thus are useless.
2890747
Spoken well! And thank for your comment. I shall take minor pains to elaborate on the other Mane Six. Shouldn't be took difficult.
Psshaw, Like I know anything. You just keep doing what you're doing
AJ is like Dale from The Walking Dead: the voice of reason and moral backbone of the main group. I gotta say, this was an interesting read; look forward to more. (Though not OTP, I always love a little TwiJack)
(Shouldn't the beginning constitute a "sad" tag
/
0
2891481
Must... resist... the FEEEEELS (fails epically)!
Thought about the sad tag before postage. Then I realized I've done too many of those.
celetia you bitch.
I am for twijack
and others toBut yea lolhope to see this continue.
Very nice. I hope you don't mind, but I'm adding this story to the Fillyfooler's folders.
Had a tough time deciding whether to read this or not, but chose to do so.
I must say, I think you did well on the first chapter. You establish a ground for the entire story (or most of it) fairly quickly which I find to be at least a little impressive. The entire fight with the dragon thing is not shown, only mentioned, yet it feels (to me) as if the fight was fleshed out in full detail.
I must also say that, while the convo between AJ and Twi, seems OOC when you just look at their words and reactions, it feels like something they'd do and how they'd react in the given situation.
I'm going to see where this is going
2897412
And lo, I have received my third actual comment. My day... has been made.
2897437
While I enjoy just getting comments, the thoughtful ones are always the best, I fully sympathize with you
2891510 Hiding the feels does not make them go away!
2897825
I know!
It hurts, but I gotta like it!
I like how AJ clearly oscillates between resolve and awareness that what she's considering is morally dubious.
Wyrm? Like in Orson Scott Card's Wyrms?
Sweet Luna...
This story is going to be great.
MOAR!
I feel like there's a really good reason why mages are physically weak. Probably because if they weren't, why would you choose any other class. There's probably also something about too much power or the like.
Now that was a good chapter. well after you take out that Spike and Pinkie part. that was not good for this chapter
Wonderful! Soon Twilight will be as jacked as Snowflake and yelling YEAH!! everywhere. You're probably going to need to use timeskips. It's a long boring road to get to Applejack's level. Use an 80's montage to speed things up.
Darn it, I wish i had something interesting to say, but all I can talk about is how good this is...
I actually would have been interested to see some back story, if you wouldn't mind. This chapter would have been a good placement for it, but if you wish to apply the training regiment then you can.
2903595 I'd like to direct your attention to my profile picture.
I'm loving that you've decided to skip over the whole "I'm not built for this kind of work it's too hard wah wah" angst. I can't wait to see more!
2903490 Hah! Funny how I always saw Twilight as the group's White Mage. One of the many fundamental laws of the universe inspired this fic; no one. F**ks. With the White Mage.
2903517 Thanks!
2903556 You kiddin'?? That would go against everything I stand for! More specifically: throw humor in EVERYTHING! It's just gotta be done.
2903595 As I mentioned in my first author note: planned and primed. Trust me, Seether, I'm good at subverting expectations.
2903640 GASP! But how will I improve?!
How will I wow my audience?! 
How would you sleep at night knowing you've driven your dear friend into a, unskilled destitute?! 
YOU MONTSER! 
(Seriously, though, thanks for the compliment. 
)
2903661 Umm... Not sure what kind of backstory you were hoping for. Thought I set the premise pretty good, actually. As for the training? C'mon, now. I'm not THAT boring
Issues I've laid bare must be focused not subverted.
2903776 I know, right?? I couldn't bare to have Twilight a weeny little flower about this sort of thing. Which I realized would happen unless I put her through Hell. Thus, chapter one, thus, angry with herself, thus, looooots of tension down the road...
images.wikia.com/vampirediaries/images/1/11/If_you_know_what_I_mean_.png
2905974
Pffft.
Is this a Hellsing Abridged reference?
2906769
Damn straight!!
2906774 Dude.
You are awesome.
*internet hug*
You've got some spelling errors but on the whole this is sharply written. The first chapter also really piles on the melodrama to near danger-points*, but I personally consider the risk worth it given the character setup and mystery it provides.
Simply put, the amount of promise this piece holds as a story is nothing short of staggering. I can't not follow it, and I truly hope it won't be abandoned. Well-done, authentic Applejack that gets to the core of her character is, well, a rarity.
Glad to see her relationship with Twilight being explored here too -- it's something even the show still sorely needs given how much we see their two life-philosophies clash.
Pray, continue.
*The "nail-bat" in C2 also threw me off a fair bit. Personal taste.
The good:
I buy Applejack pushing Twi so hard, and Twi's breakdown. Also the quizzing of Celestia.
The needs work:
Absolutely agree on the idea that the other 4 seem like bystanders at this point. Also 'I don't have to be that way' at the end, you probably meant 'It don't have to be."
The 'you had my curiosity, but now you have my attention' moment: "careful diplomacy."
I hope to read more of this in the near future!
Looks great so far, looking forward to more.
3220206 Why thank you! It may be a while, but I still have hopes and plans for this one.
Ladies and gentlemen I give you, the 100th thumb up!
That is all. Equestria is ours.
Looking forward to more. After all, this site needs more TwiJack. MORE, I SAY!
After reading this chapter, I felt that the little moment with Pinkie and Spike was a bit jarring. I like it, but it also feels a tad bit...off. As if it'd been just jammed in, trying to inject SOME humor into the story. It's funny, I just feel that it should've been added elsewhere. Especially after the previous chapter, where we had ANGST-ING! Buuuut, that's just me.
On AJ and Twi's characters: How do you write AJ so well? Seriously, it's good. Really good. Although, on the subject of Twi, I feel she's accepting things a bit too quickly. Sure, she got beat to hell, but even so...I feel she'd at least have a bit more trepidation for the exercise/training. Beyond that though, wonderful stuff. Looking forward to more. I FOLLOW.
*pokes story*
is it dead?
i liked this story.
4044679 Oh, trust me. If it were dead, you'd see the dreaded 'canceled' in the status section. It's still alive. Just sleeping for now.
I for one would love an update
TWIJAAAAAAAACK! *adds to read later*
4044784 Sleepin', huh? Well, it'd better get before Ah dump a nice cold bucket o' water 'n top o' it!
2897412 Both Twilight and Applejack are emotionally exhausted. It stands to reason that they might be a little OOC.
But other than that, I agree that the other four could use a little more screentime (page time?) and you may or may not need to go over this with a fine-toothed comb, I'm honestly not very sure. On the other hand, I honestly hate Celestia, when authors question why Celestia always throws them into danger when there are better options, it makes my day. I also like how both Twi and AJ are willing to show each other how truly... tired they are, and there is a certain amount of you showing what might happen in the future, so I fully expect a twist. Of course, the twist could be that there is no twist, so, there... might be a twist? Maybe? I don't know, but you've done very well in characterizing both of them in this situation.
4044784
I think the story is in hibernation.