Twilight Sparkle has been keeping a secret from Applejack for a while now. She has had a crush on the farm mare for a long time now and has finally found the courage to attempt to ask her friend out on a date or at the very least admit her feelings toward her. Will Applejack accept her feelings and return them with open arms? Or will she reject the love from one of her closest friends? Whatever she does the path of honesty cannot be lead astray.
However is Twilight the only pony in town who has grown attached to Applejack? Or has someone else seen something inside the mare, something worthy of love?
Hey everyone, this is my first fic, I hope that at the very least it is bearable, I will most likely improve with time and experience, I mean we all have to somewhere I guess, and this is my starting point. (If possible) Enjoy!
Not bad!
Certainly better than my first attempt.
Other than some technical mistakes, which appear to be few, I'd have to say this'll shape up to be quite the story!
3291720 Always the bearer of kind words
Thanks again, I'll brush up next time for sure
/)
I'm gonna follow this and see what happens
ok its not bad infact i like it u got my fav and like hope u update soon. BROHOOF /)
That was actually kinda good. Nice job. Oh and a new TiwJack fic. PRAISE THE LORD!
I hope you don't mind me taking a jab here, but I don't think fist is what you wanted. Considering the fact that the error is in the description, you probably would have found it anyways. However, I've decided to beat you to the punch anyways.
Puns are immune to shame.
[Edit]: Well, there's a few grammar mistakes here and there: minor flowing issues that could be alleviated by commas, you capitalized a few words that shouldn't be capitalized, and you don't use the tab key with every new paragraph, but it's good enough that it pleases me, so it's probably good enough to please most readers.
did you have anyone read this over? it's not bad, but there are a few things that could be done to it that would make it flow a lot easier. it just sounds kinda rushed.
3292024 Thanks man, I'll do my best to keep the story progressing and make it more interesting to read /)
3292535 Wow thanks dude
I'll update as soon as I can but I want to take more time and care on the next chapter so it'll take a tad longer 
/)*(\ brohoof !
3292681 Cheers man
And twijack is one my fav ships 
Wish there were more stories focused on the two.
3292700
Can you tell this is one of my first times writing a story 
but thanks man, I know it needs to be improved and I'll brush out the mistakes when I can.
3293506 I understand man, bear in mind though, it's my first try, and mistakes like the fluency of the read were bound to appear. I'll iron it out when I can
Thanks again guys, you guys are awesome, will work on the next chapter now
3291780
Dat ending
oh sh
t I hope Twilight catches Rainbow in time.
Reads first chapter - this is really good for a first story, following.
Reads second chapter - Duuuude this is pretty frickin grippin! Nice work. Hope Rd doesn't go and blow it for Twi.
Well, this going to be interesting
3295241 ok ill always be here to read the next chapter
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SHIT PINKY WAT HAVE U DONE
Great chapter dude! Lovin this story, hard to believe this is your first time writing! Some parts are actually pretty funny as well! Hope you update soon!
Also I like these cliff hangers
I was wondering how Twi would stop Dash, but can she stop Fluttershy in time? Tune in next time to find out! Same pony time, same pony place!
3312313 This guy, This guy right here! I like this guy!
3310409 Thanks a lot dude
So many kind words 
Anyway glad to hear the cliffhangers weren't gettin too repetitive. and that you're enjoying the story.
Updates will be soon, maaaaaybe not by Tuesday, but definitely by Wednesday....
Possibly...
I just read the first chapter...and it looks promising!
hehe the nervous twilight is cute thought XD
I hope you make this story very very long! I love long shipping stories =3
specially about twijack X3
3316456 Wow dude, thanks a lot mate! Long huh? I'll see, but I mean it can't go on forever, but I'll see what I can do
In the beginning you make applejack say that twilight is scaring her.
Might I suggest us make that worry? Scare doesn't really fit in this scenario
3323266 Decent point. I guess what I was trying to convey was the concern that Applejack had for Twilight's well being, her being scared basically just meant that she was afraid that she might be in some distress or that something may have happened which would have caused her currently unexplained nervousness. From our perspective, we get the impression that there are romantic feelings behind this encounter, but to Aj, it's just a friend acting uncharacteristically, and possibly holding back grave news. But I guess I left that part unexplained, once I've finished with the current chapter I'll go back and tweak the wording
/)
Oh, thanks for the fav btw
hey there dude!
I gonna tell you somthing,I always gonna comment in all chapters, is the less I can do XD
hehe so, anybody knows about Twi love for Applejack except rarity? XD hehe typical that she is one of the first to know XD
and then..I didnt expected what happened next XD, Pinkie trowing a party for twilight for tell her feeling to AJ lol ahahaha
and the worst, she didnt do it XD, and she have to stop rainbow befor is too late! XD totally cool!
I liking the story alot my friend!
I totally laughed in this chapter XD
hahahaha
all that time to Das to remember why she was there, she remembers and is just about to say it to AJ, when Twilight comes just in time XD, and more funny, lock her in a magic bubble XD hahahaha
poor Applejack, must be so confused XD lol
and for the twist, fluttershy now? XD so funny!
cant wai to see what gonna happend next!
good chapter dude! keep going! you will get better whit each !
i love this so far, i hope Shy wont get hurt
hope to read more soon!
but... You cant always get what you want!
Poor Applejack
... she hasn't realized that the obvious solution is a three way relationship. 
I do like the plot twist, it'll definitely add tension. I wonder if she'll tell the others she likes her too. I just hope things turn out better in the end for Flutters.
3326276 Did you seriously just make me laugh again
Anyways, about Fluttershy, really? Wow I woulda thought that people would of been routing for Twi, interesting 
/)
3325385 Cheers man
I'll do my best to get a new chapter soon .... ish 
Actually now that I think about it, It'll be out on the weekend 
/)
3324776 Hey man
So much praise 
Anyway, glad you enjoy it 
Okay, so here's a problem ... well, not really a problem, just a little nook inside my head, that is telling me it's a problem. So, here's the thing, imagine you started writing a ship fic, with your fav character (AJ for days!!!!!
) and your personal fav ship, Twijack (beside from appledash), you then introduce a choice, (Fluttershy, Appleshy, which is another fav of mine 
) You realise that you love appleshy and twijack the same and yet, you need to choose, that's my situation 
I know that if I write one of them victorious and the other not then people will be annoyed for one reason or another, BUT, don't worry I have it all sorted out .... ish..... kinda...... Maybe? ...
anyway I'm rambling, Huge thanks for the support thus far, you guys really supporting this fic, I'm glad that it isn't as bad as I thought it would be (Which was, douse self in petrol oil, take match box to a cliff, set self on fire, jump off cliff. Coz I...
I need to stop typing 
)
Brohoof /) !!!!! /) /)
oooh what if Twilight and fluttershy got together!!!!!!
Okay I'll stop now
Dude... I can say for certain.. That caught me off guard XD but I think see why you did it, to create tension and to build a deeper story later on. To add more of a direction to the story... I frickin love it! Whoever you decide to choose though ... Let the other one down easy ;)
oh my! this is so...twisted! XD
so, for a mistake, fluttershy tell AJ that twilight love her....
that shocked Applejack, and started to panic, saying bad stuff
fluttershy scares a little, but dont want to hear Applejack saying that stuff that she is no worht for a pony
she said how much Applejack is a great mare, strong, beautiful
....and she kiss her! =O (obviously dicovering that Fluttershy have feeling for AJ too!)
but Twilight apperas and take away fluttershy, but whiotut knowing that Flutter alrady confessed her feelings! even before her!!!!
and applejack is so confused, deseperated after knew that two of her best friends feel in love whit her, and she still think she not worthy for them!!!
oh god.....so much stuff XDD *brain hurts XD lol
at least, at the end Rarity is trying to calm dow Applejack a little XD
oh my...whit this plot twist....what ever gonna happen now?
risky decicion My friend
risky......but pretty coolXD
I'm liking where this is headed, but it feels rushed. You are consistent with this whole, first chapter feeling rushed.
Also, might need a proofreader/editor to catch some of the smaller mistakes.
Keep going! The more practice, the better you can get and I don't think there is enough TwiJack out there yet.
3315187
Cliffhangers are needed to progress the story. And keep readers hooked. Good job there!
I've enjoyed this chapter the most do far.
The small errors(Capitalization, punctuation, and some others here and there) are starting to get a little irksome. I still recommend you adding this story to the Proofreader Group and getting some assistance there.
3356044 Thanks man
There's a proofreading group 
Wow, Okay, yeah that'll be really useful! Thanks! 
Now to rewrite the first chapter, which reads terribly
So work on the next chapter will come after the rewrite of the first chapter 
More waiting, but still, I don't like leaving work half done, and that chapter .... 
Anyway, thanks again for all the support guys, really appreciate it!
I always love it when the relationships start to become a web of who likes who.
I am left to wonder if there are any other crushes yet to be revealed.
Who knows, maybe every mare in ponyville wants some of that appleflank.
Ah, I know I love Twijack, but a bit of Flutterjack is fascinating and adorable too! Delightful stuff, will be following!
Me and my army supports this story
3355314 Twijack is the best of the fifty million different ways to ship two MLP characters!